I walked swiftly through the snow drifts, thoughts and feelings as scattered and numb as the flakes themselves. I traversed the empty pathways, though blanketed in snow I now knew them like the back of my hand. Well, I should, since I've been coming here for the past fifteen years. My eyes scanned the graveyard, a field of white with slabs of stone popping out here and there. This would be the last time I came to this wretched place, the last time I had to stare at the mocking stone and wish I was six feet under as well. I decided, a while ago really, that I would end it today, but I had one last visit to make.
As I stepped over to the targeted grave, I thought of what I would leave behind- what she left behind as well. My alcoholic father, who never kept a stable job or parenting after the accident, he surely wouldn't care that I was gone. My older brother had run away long ago, betrothed to some unknown woman at nineteen. I completed school early at seventeen; accomplished goals I had hoped would fill me with satisfaction, but never really soothed the ache. There was nothing left for me in this harsh reality, and if nothing awaited me after death either then so be it.
It was then that I kneeled on the woman's grave and did something no one in my family had done for over a decade since my mom died- I prayed. I prayed long and hard, I can't honestly say what I was praying for, I wasn't even sure there was something to pray to, but I felt I should do it to honor my devout Christian mother, who's faith died along with her. Water played at the brims of my eyes, and heat wound through my stomach, anxiety and anger clawed rabidly at my spine. I was waiting for someone- something to come and stop me. I don't know why, I had never felt this hesitation before, so I slowly rose from the ground and began my journey to the clock tower.
Bitter wind brushed over me in an instant once I hit the outer rim of the tower, seemingly beckoning me to the edge. It teased my hair and pushed at my back when I peered over the ledge, the frigid morning winds tugged dark clouds in front of the moon, the ground a dizzying 40 feet below me. At that moment, just out of curiosity, I wondered what I would feel like when cascading down through the air. I played with the thought of whether or not you were really dead before you hit the ground. I guess I would find out. Sharp snow took the place of tears as I stepped grimly onto the outermost surface of the ledge, letting the breeze whisper to me eagerly, I imagined it encouraging me to take the final dive. I obliged.
I had mentally prepared myself for the plummet beforehand, but it was nothing like the romanticized falling I had imagined. Harsh resistance sliced at my body, the mixture of cold snow and opposing wind creating the most unpleasant of sensations. Then, the pain stopped as quickly as it came, and I vaguely heard the tolling of the tower above me as it struck two. Questions filled my head, I still hadn't opened my eyes; the force of the pressure against me had as good as glued them shut. How was I able to think, hear, feel? When the aftershock of the fall faded, I realized that not only had the air rushing past me stopped, but the icy sting of snow had stopped as well, and it felt like I was warming up.
I finally pried open my eyes, and what I saw I would never forget. Still hovering ten feet above the earth's surface, I found myself in the warm embrace of an ethereal looking boy, looking not too older than me physically but there was an ancient glow set about his aura. The shock that set in again dissolved as I was lowered onto the pale concrete. The visage of the boy was still there, I felt I must be dreaming it, but it was too far-fetched for even one of my dreams. The angelic entity settled onto the earth before me, bare feet sending the snow below hissing away, and the once-bitter flakes seemed to fall like feathers. The being's form became more human, I couldn't tell exactly what features it had possessed before it lost them, if I saw wings or snow, because my memory only recalled a bright light when I tried to remember.
Then it spoke. Its mouth didn't move, but the words seemed to flow from its essence. "You, Sebastian Michaelis, have summoned for me, Archangel of the Sky. This fact will not change for eternity. From this point onwards I have revealed myself to you as your Guardian Angel."
I didn't even have the power to let my jaw drop open. Archangel? Guardian? Such things had been myths and hopes in the stories read to me as a child. Beliefs harnessed by the church but never myself. I caught the proclaimed angel's gaze, it's brilliant blue eyes sent shivers down my spine, It's pale black hair framed it's face, and a slight frown quirked it's way onto the beautiful creature's face. I had no doubt this entity was otherworldly, but heaven? Words came out before I could stop them. "What proof is there that I summoned you, and what makes you think you're my 'Guardian'?" I snapped rather heatedly.
A slow smirk carved its way onto the boy's face. "Whether it is known unto you or not, when you knelt at your mother's grave and prayed nameless prayers, you accepted God back into your life. I've always been your Guardian, only Guardians appear visibly usually just once to their human when their contract is first created, which for you was baptism at a month old, so I hardly blame you for not remembering me. However, once you rejected God fifteen years ago, our contract broke just the same, until an hour ago when you mended it with your words and summoned me once more."
I stared dumfounded, the words slowly started making sense in my mind and the beautiful creature before me waited patiently for some response. I had no idea how to respond to those words. "Well then, why are you still here?" I wondered aloud, looking at the ground in shame of my failed suicide. It was hard to imagine that I could've been dead a few minutes ago. "Well you obviously don't seem stable enough to continue without a watchful eye for the next month or so, therefore as my duty I shall be helping you recover before I leave." The angel stated matter-of-factly, practicing moving its jaw.
"Why would I need your help? Besides, it was my decision to jump, so you should have just let me go since I'll only try again." I challenged the calm being, but its expression never faltered other than to give me a bemused look. "I thought you realized that you really didn't want to die." I started at this. How the hell would the angel know if I wanted to or not? "There's nothing left for me here, of course it doesn't exactly matter whether I live or die, but I would choose death, just like I did ten minutes ago." The angel countered when the last syllable left my mouth. "That blatant lie is tainting your aura. I can see that you're not keen on attempting that again right now." It was true what the creature said, I really hadn't enjoyed the experience at all, and the thought of trying it again left nausea in my stomach.
I decided to stop arguing and see what it proposed we do. "So then, what's your brilliant plan?"I asked blatantly. "Well, first I'll have to get adjusted to this body- I've almost got the hang of it, I believe. Then I'll just stick around with you in this form until I see it fit to leave." It shared, moving a few limbs experimentally. "And what must happen for you to leave?" I inquired, a bit curious despite my attempts at feeling angry. "The being paused for a moment, then thoughtfully looked at me. "Innocence. Your innocence must be restored; all Guardian Angels are required to stay with their contractor until they know love. After baptisms the Angels leave almost immediately since the baptism is purifying itself, but for you, since our contract has been reestablished, I cannot leave until you regain that pure emotion that most humans loose after infancy." It grinned briefly, but in such a devilish way it didn't seem like an angel. "This is going to be an interesting challenge."
I could feel my eyes widen, I hadn't really loved or even been attached to anything in such a long time I feared I'd forgotten how. Love, and pure love at that, seemed an impossible feat for someone as depressed as me, and I could barely hold back a scoff at the angel. Though, I couldn't help but wonder what the future held in store after such an event as this. My reverie was snapped by the beautiful being once more. "If I am to live with you for the remainder of this challenge, I need to assume the identity of someone in your life. I'll need a name as well." The angel looked pointedly at me, and I thought for a mere moment of what human role the angel would take. "Ciel. Your name will be Ciel, for being the Archangel of the Sky. Your surname will be Phantomhive, for my mother's maiden name, and you can assume the role of a close friend." The words rolled out more confidently than I had hoped, but it gave me some surge of energy to have some control in my life again. The angel seemed to contemplate its new identity, and then nodded curtly.
"So be it." The angel's form changed again, now the body looked shorter and frailer than before, the two iridescent orbs dulled into soft, human-like eyes, the limbs became creamy and pale like my own, and the face acquired a more childish, boyish charm. The angel seemed no less beautiful to me. "Well then, Ciel Phantomhive, as long as I'm stuck with you, I suppose we should be on the way home." I suggested, turning to face the streetlight-lit road, completely unprepared to face life again. I wondered where my father was, I usually bet myself on when he would return home most nights, if he returned at all. He was sometimes gone for weeks at a time. Either way, he wouldn't care if I had a 'friend' move in since I paid the bills in the first place.
The chills started worrying at my spine again, and exhaustion fogged its way into my mind, and eventually I was asleep on my feet, grasped by the arms of an angel as I dreamed of the journey ahead.
And quite a journey it would be.
Do not fear, this is just the beginning; I do have (major) SebastianxCiel planned for the future, I like to develop characters a bit first. Only the two's roles are a bit switched around here, obviously.
Third-person POV may come into play next chapter, since I have more experience with it. Get a little more of Ciel's thoughts in there.
Anyway, please tell me how you feel about this fic, criticisms mean more than you know.