Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter or Disney, Disney World, etc.

Chapter One: Voldemort Finally Lost It


Voldemort stalked the dark alley out of boredom, looking for Muggles to torture. Ordinary people spend their free time hanging out with friends and playing Quidditch...but Voldemort wasn't ordinary, he was pure EVIL.

Fuming silently at the lack of people to Crucio, Voldemort brooded. Potter was safe with his Mudblood relatives, Dumbledore was as powerful as ever, and his Death eaters weren't doing much of importance. Was there ANYTHING that could get a Dark Lord out of a rut? ...Besides drugs.

Conveniently, one Muggle man decided to walk past at that moment. That one Muggle would change Voldemort forever.

Voldemort swished his wand lazily. "Crucio!" The man collapsed to the ground, writhing in agony. The man held up his jerking arms pleadingly. "Please! I haven't even seen my family for one last time! We haven't even gone to Disney World yet!"

Raising nonexistent eyebrows, Voldemort lifted the curse and leered down at the Muggle. "Tell me more about this Disney World..."


Two weeks later...

The Death eaters all remained on their knees as they waited for the Dark Lord to arrive. Severus Snape glanced over the crowd. Among them were Lucius, Narcissa (Who wasn't technically a Death eater), and Draco Malfoy, Bellatrix and Rodolphus Lestrange, Peter Pettigrew, Crabbe, Goyle, Fenrir Greyback, and many others. Snape scowled at the excessive amount of dunderheads for a few seconds, and wondered what idiocies the Dark Lord had thought of this time.

In a dramatic fashion, Lord Voldemort/Tom Marvolo Riddle/He-Who-Has-Too-Many-Names, etc., Apparated directly at the head of the group. Wormtail as so startled that he collapsed to the floor.

Voldemort did not even spend time torturing Wormtail. This was odd. Why would Voldemort not take his precious time to torture his followers? His news must be of great importance.

"Welcome, my Death Eaters," his said jovially. This was a new version of frightening. All Death Eaters present shuddered...except for Bellatrix Lestrange, who was practically licking his feet with an obsession. Voldemort ignored her as well. "I have a new mission for you all."

"Kill the Potter brat?" questioned one random Death Eater.

"Attack the Ministry?" chimed in another.

"Well, not really. Avada Kedavra!" Both Death Eaters fell to the floor, dead. Voldemort smiled creepily. "While torturing a Mudblood, I discovered some...useful information about a place called Disney World. It is in America, and I believe it would be fun to take a trip there!"

Underneath his mask, Snape gaped incredulously. Was the Dark Lord on crack?! Not paying attention even the slightest bit to his followers (and one spy), Voldemort clapped his hands together. "Come, let us be off!"


Author's Note: And so begins the journey! This was just an explanation chapter. The following chapters will be much more humor and parody, trust me.