Okay, so lots of people apparently have a problem with this story. It's fine. Whatever. I'll try a rewrite again. I just don't see what everyone has against plays. Or scripts. Whatever you want to call them. Honestly.
I mean, yeah, sure, you're supposed to follow the rules and all that and normally I respect the rules…but that's when they make sense. I don't see a reason why stories like this aren't allowed. Can anyone give me a legit reason why? I see why chat-speech isn't allowed—that's rather obvious. It's not much fun to read and it's not exactly even real fiction, let alone real talent in writing.
However, if grammar was the issue then I've seen a lot of other stories that should have been taken down. So, I'm afraid I just don't get the reason why script stories (like plays) need to be banned. They're easy enough to follow and rather fun to write.
I suppose the issue could be something with rights or legal matters or something, and that would make sense at least for why I don't understand. But, can anyone explain this to me?
Well, I guess regardless if anyone can or not, I'm gonna take a shot at rewriting this chat story because I don't really want it removed.
Oh, and one more thing. For all of you that decided to talk to me like I'm 5 and haven't read the rules, I just want to point out that I did. I've seen the rules. And I didn't follow them, I know, I know. You don't have to be rude about it. (I won't name any names. That'd be rude. You know who you are.) Going the other way, at least Lessthantthree-Carissa was nice (even starting off "my darling author"). Thank you for that, Carissa. And there are others who were nice about it, too, so a 'thank you' to them as well!
My point is that people are more likely to comply if you're not rude about it. So, if you're one of those people that spends their time looking out for stories that break the rules, I just ask that you do it in a nice way. I'm pretty sure people wouldn't get so angry about it if you were nice.
Okay, ranting is over! Now, I have to give a deeper apology to those of you who were really into this story! It will be some time before I can update new material. BUT, I will try to rewrite my chapters as quickly as possible so that I can post something new! Hang in there, my readers! I'm sorry again!
Now, for my first rewritten chapter…
Italicized writing indicates the characters' responses on the chat.
'Italics with semi-quotation-thingys indicate a character's thoughts.' (wow, that sounded real intelligent, huh? XD)
And bold italics is the typical logged off or logged on notification (like before)
Ash Ketchum didn't even bother to close the door behind him as he trudged into his room and flopped backwards onto his bed. Pikachu leapt off his shoulder to collapse on his pillow. Arms outstretched, Ash stared up at the ceiling and smiled. Another long, hard day of special training with his Pokémon. Today had focused around rigorous obstacle courses to improve strength and stamina.
Sure, Ash didn't have to be exhausted; the courses were designed for his Pokémon, after all, and not him. However, Ash held the firm belief that he would go through the same training as his Pokémon. That way, he could grow as a trainer, too. They would all get stronger together.
A sudden noise from his computer caught his attention. Wincing as he stood (thanks to a little injury he obtained after losing a fight with one of the hurdles earlier), he made his way to his desk and clicked the monitor on. There was an alert from the private chat he had set up the other night. But why would…?
"Whoops," he laughed as he figured it out. "Looks like I never logged off, Pikachu…" He turned around to let his partner Pokémon laugh with him at his blunder, but discovered the electric rodent curled up on his pillow, fast asleep.
'Better to let him sleep, then,' Ash decided before turning back to the computer. A new message had appeared on the chat screen:
Princess_Of_The_Sea has logged on.
'That's Misty's username,' he smiled. 'Yes! She's the first one to come check out the chat!'
But before he could type a response, another message from Misty had already appeared: Pokémaster77, huh? Let me guess. Ash.
Who else would have this awesome name? he typed back with a grin. Knowing Misty, she was probably shaking her head at him.
Ladiesman44 has logged on.
The message appeared in bold underneath his last comment and Ash frowned. Ladiesman…?
Well, there's only one option for who this is, Misty responded first. Hi Brock.
Hi Brock! Ash echoed, hitting the "send" button before he even read Misty's message. He inwardly winced when he noticed how silly that sounded...
Hey Ash, Misty! Ladiesman44 (aka Brock) replied after a few minutes. So what was the purpose of this chat?
Ash frowned, figuring the question was directed at him since he set it up. Well…I don't really know…I was just bored and thought this would be a cool way to pass the time. Actually, I'm inviting everyone I know so they can join, too!
Awesome! Then we can talk to everyone we've met! Ash smiled as he read Misty's response. That was true. They'd all met so many people on their journeys; this would be an easy way to keep in touch!
Yeah, Brock quickly agreed. And maybe Nurse Joy or Officer Jenny will enter the chat too…
Keep dreaming, Brock, came Misty's reply. Ash could only laugh.
Another moment and two more bold notifications had appeared:
Number1Coordinator has logged on.
Smartypants81 has logged on.
We're here! Number1Coordinator typed just as Smartypants81 added, Hi everyone!
Well, at least Ash already knew who these two were. He quickly typed his response before anyone else. Hi May! Hi Max!
How did you know it was us? Number1Coordinator (aka May) asked.
I was there when you made your account…and Max's was easy. He smiled, feeling pretty proud of himself.
Of course, that smile disappeared when Misty added, Even for him.
Unfortunately for him, May had continued on before he got a chance to respond. Okay, so then Pokémaster77 is Ash, Ladiesman44 is DEFINITELY Brock, and Princess_Of_The_Sea must be…Misty?
Yep, the three named trainers suddenly responded at the exact same time.
There was a slight pause in the conversation before another response from May appeared. Okay, that was weird…anyway...so Misty, Dawn and I are gonna go shopping later. You interested?
Ash internally groaned as Misty and May started planning their shopping trip. If this chat continued the way it was going, he was going to lose interest rather quickly. An emotion close to relief swept through him when another bold notification appeared:
Roselia_Trainer has logged on.
Hmm…that isn't Dawn. Ash could practically see May's frown. Wait…Roselia…oh no…please say it isn't…
So…who's on? Roselia_Trainer asked, quickly adding a second message reading, *flicks hair* (probably just to annoy May).
'So then Roselia_Trainer must be Drew,' Ash thought to himself as Drew and May began arguing over which of them was the "true" number one coordinator.
My head hurts, he finally typed as a response. It was half true (though it may have been from the training earlier and not from the argument). They fight like we do, Misty…
What do you mean by that? She responded in mere seconds followed by two equal replies of Shut up, Ash from the arguing party.
Ash groaned as the argument continued for several minutes, skimming, but not really reading either May or Drew's messages. That is, until a message from Brock caught his eye: Hmm, I guess May and Drew won't notice me write anything during their argument…
A couple more lines of angry chat messages told the others that it was probably true. Probably.
Then I guess I'll just say it, Brock continued after a moment. It is so obvious they like each other…
May was apparently right in the middle of another comment when she noticed Brock's message because her response cut off mid sentence. Everyone knows that I…Brock! What do you mean by that?
Of course they noticed…gotta go! Brock hastily typed message appeared only seconds before the bold notification reading:
Ladiesman44 has logged off.
That's it! Brock is SO dead! Misty, I'll see you when we go shopping! Ash could practically feel May's rage through the computer screen. Brock had better be able to run fast…
Er…okay…bye! Misty got in before yet another notification appeared:
Number1Coordinator has logged off.
And she's gone…damn, Drew responded, leaving Ash confused. What did Drew mean by that comment?
What do you mean by that Drew? Apparently, Misty was equally as confused.
Um…nothing! I've got to go, too!
Before either Ash or Misty could respond, the bold lettering appeared:
Roselia_Trainer has logged off.
Uh, what was that about? Ash asked, hoping Misty would have some sort of idea. He hated being confused. He really did.
Oh my Arceus! Drew SO likes May!
Had he been drinking soda, Ash probably would have done a spit take at Misty's response. But since he wasn't, he quickly asked, What? You really think so?
You're telling me you didn't just see that?
Ash frowned, thinking back to his past journey with May. Well, he does always give May roses…
Right! She told me about that! Haha! They were meant for each other!
Ash reread Misty's response twice. Could that really be true? Were Drew and May really "meant" for each other?
Well, I heard everything I need to. We should think of a plan to get Drew and my sister together!
Holy Arceus! Ash had forgotten Max was even on the chat! He'd been so silent…reading but not really typing anything back…
Misty's apology appeared instantly. Sorry Max! I forgot you were still online!
No worries. But like I said, we should think of a way to get my sister together with Drew. Then, maybe she'll stop talking about him all the time.
Or that'll make her talk about him more, Misty pointed out. Ash felt himself nod his head before he realized that neither of them could see him.
Misty has a point, he quickly typed out.
Nah, she'll just be spending time with him instead. And if she's with him, she won't be bothering me just to talk about him.
Before Ash could respond, another bold notification interrupted their conversation:
Ladiesman44 has logged on.
'Brock's alive!' Ash thought before smiling and messaging that.
Haha, came Brock's response. Yes, I'm alive. May never found me. So…what'd I miss?
We're trying to think of a way to hook May and Drew up, Misty informed him.
Really? Ash couldn't tell if Brock's message had actual surprise laced in it or not.
Do you think I could come over to your gym? We could plan there! Max suddenly asked. Ash was halfway through pondering why Max would ask him (since he didn't have a gym) when he realized the question was meant for Brock. Not him.
Sure! Misty, you want to come too?
As much as I want to, I'm going shopping with Dawn and May. Sorry!
No, that's fine. Max and I will come up with something!
'Hey!' Ash thought, staring at the screen. 'What about me?'
He was halfway through typing the question when three notifications appeared on his computer screen:
Smartypants81 has logged off.
Ladiesman44 has logged off.
Princess_Of_The_Sea has logged off.
'Well how do you like that?' Ash shook his head. He was about to log off as well, but another thought struck him. Just for fun, he quickly typed out, I'm all alone…there's no one here beside me…
It was his own private joke with the air.
A short enough distance away, Tracey Sketchit sat at one of the desks in Professor Oak's laboratory, happily humming to himself while he searched his email for the link to the chat Ash had set up. He'd been waiting all day to communicate with his friends (his work for Professor Oak had left him quite busy of late with not much time for socialization).
But now, thanks to Ash's chatroom, he would get the chance to talk to all his friends without having to track them down during the little free time he had (not that he minded his work, though).
His excitement built as he found Ash's email and quickly located the chat. He smiled in delight as the bold notification appeared across his screen:
I_Love_To_Sketch has logged on.
Yes! That was his username! He was officially online and ready to talk to his friends!
Okay everyone! I made it! He typed out quickly, eagerly waiting to see who would respond first.
A few minutes passed. Not a single response.
He blinked and added a second message. Guys?
A couple more minutes dragged on before his attention was finally brought to the small box in the corner, notifying him that no one else was online. His smile hit the floor with a short 'plop!'
Sighing, he canceled the chat.
I_Love_To_Sketch has logged off.
Stay tuned! Will Brock and Max successfully find a way to hook Drew and May up? Will May, Misty, and Dawn have fun shopping? And where is Dawn? Why didn't she show up at the chat room? And will poor Tracey get to talk to anyone?
To be continued...
Wow…I feel like this way is even MORE mean to Tracey…poor guy…
Anyhoo! So, this is what I'm trying for now. To be honest, I'm not sure I really like it. It was difficult to write and probably even more so to follow…though I'm not exactly sure. I don't know if it's because I focused on writing the entire thing from Ash's perspective or just how it worked out…
But, let me know what you guys think and any comments, suggestions, or concerns. I think I'm gonna try to write from a narrative perspective next time and not so much focus on one certain character. We'll see if that one goes any better.
Again, let me know what you think and I'll either continue it in this form (which is hopefully more acceptable) or I'll find some other website to post the story to.
Thank you in advance to everyone who has ever cared about this story. It really does mean a lot to me when I read your reviews and know you're backing me up. ^_^
But before I get too sappy, sayōnara...for now! Cookies and Apples for everyone! (But I'm keeping the Peanut Butter! XD)