word count: 355
Of Pirates and Plunder
Mary's head jerked up suddenly from the pages of her book. "Oh, Ange! Let me show you what I found today!"
Throwing the covers back, she scampered excitedly from the bedroom, returning in a few moments holding a large triangular pirate hat with a white feather in it and a fake sword.
Angela eyed the hat sceptically. "Where on Earth did you get that?"
"I got it from Jake; he was cleaning out his cellar."
"What was he doing with a pirate hat?"
"How do I know?" Mary shrugged carelessly. "You're missing the point entirely here, Ange!"
"...The point being?"
"The point being it's mine now." She tipped the hat onto her head, brandishing her plastic sword. "What do you think, Ange? We could have a little fun."
Angela thought she knew where this was headed. "What kind of fun?" she asked with suspicion.
"How about somethin' along the lines of, 'Arr, I'm a filthy nasty pirate who has sailed the Seven Seas lookin' for a pretty young wench like you. How'd ya like to come aboard me ship and partake in grand and exciting pirating adventures?"
"Somehow 'filthy nasty pirate' isn't really appealing."
"Don't be mockin' the pirate, Lassie. The pirate has a short temper 'n' he don't take kindly to insults about his personal hygiene."
Angela rolled her eyes. "Sorry, Pirate. What do you want me to call you, 'Captain Longsword'?"
"Jus' 'Captain' will do fine, Lassie. Though the sword is very long, if ye be catchin' my meaning."
This earned another eye roll.
Climbing onto the bed, Mary crawled up to Angela and leaned in close to her. "Yarr, Captain Longsword is going to plunder you and capture yer treasure. Prepare yerself to be plundered! Surrender yer booty, Matey!"
"Please never use the word 'booty' ever again."
"Arr, but plunderin' booty is what a pirate does best, Lassie!"
"Mary, this is ridiculous."
"Arr, what was that, Scallywag? I can't be understandin' yer landlubber dialect."
"Yarr, this is stupid," Angela drawled sarcastically.
Mary dropped her accent, sitting back and crossing her arms. "You're no fun, Ange, have I ever told you that?"