I've been scanning the Metroid fanfiction lately. And while most of it is pretty good, I can't help feeling that some of it makes Samus and the other characters seem OOC. I really have nothing against such stories. In fact I have high respect for any one of those authors. I am in no way flaming them. But as a Metroid fan myself I can't help but feel an irritating twitch when Samus is overly girly or Admiral Dane is a total douchebag. That's just not the way I see them. Again, this is my own opinion. I don't mean anything harsh by it.
All this did was inspire me to write a fanfic of my own to suit my own tastes. So here it is, my first Metroid story. Yay.
It will eventually become a romance between Rundas and Samus. With a twist.
Please tell me what you think.
The dirt crunched silently beneath her feet. The air was still and dry around the crumbling structures. Massive golems half freed from boulders stared down at her with lifeless eyes. Torches lighted with ancient fire flickered gently. Plants that sprouted poison leaves dotted the ground before her. "So this is the Bryyonian Cliffside," she murmured to the aged landscape.
Within the first door the huntress was not surprised to find a native frozen against the wall. A quick scan with her visor yielded unexpected results. "The Reptilicus is still alive…"
Having no reason or way to free it she moved on only to find a substantial ice bridge before her. It had not yet begun to thaw. As she stepped closer a shifting shadow caught her eye. Looking up she found another native watching her from its perch closely. But as soon as their gazes met the creature scurried away. Her eyes narrowed slightly. She would have to be cautious. The locals knew she was here.
The terrain resembled that of the ruins of her Chozo brethren. Beautiful buildings sculpted from stone and metal. Yet they seemed hollow and unused. Something grim had happened on this planet long before the Leviathan's impact, that much was certain. And while she was curious, the history of the planet was irrelevant. She had come for only reason. To reestablish contact with a fellow bounty hunter.
"I know you're here." Her voice came out little louder that a whisper. The hot desert air sent to her a chilling reminder of his presence.
The more she scanned the more uneasy she became. The ice that had come from him was becoming abnormal as she moved further into the ruins. Traces of Phazon laced within the rime slowly revealed themselves to her scanner. With it she noted that the force with which the Reptilicus were being disposed of was becoming overly harsh. This was not his way. He may be known for his arrogance, but she knew that he was a noble soul.
With the revival of the downed G.F.S. Theseus and a quick transmission from the Aurora Unit her thoughts were cleared. She knew her mission and was prepared to accomplish anything her allies requested of her. But when Samus Aran stepped out of the wreckage she caught sight of something that shook her to her core. It was Rundas. The Phyrigisian that had saved her life on more that one occasion. Staring at her from the edge of a cliff top. They locked eyes for a few fleeting seconds and then he ran from her on a pathway of fresh frost.
"Rundas…," she breathed. Quickly she ran forward, but he followed a course that she could not pursue. She did not let confusion shake her determination. The next area was Bryyo Fire. There she would get her answers.
Slow and dangerously fuel gel flowed endlessly around her. The heat felt as familiar as the Caverns of Magmoor. Yet twice as deadly. Could he really be here in this place of fire? His spacecraft roosted not to far from her own wordlessly gave her a response.
"The engine is still warm…he knew I would come here." Taking her hand from her visor and placing it on her cannon, Samus tensed for the battle ahead. But even the instincts of a veteran hunter could not prepare her for the emotional reunion she was gradually heading toward.
By the time she reached the room where the ceiling oozed with gel her thoughts were somewhat jumbled. Back at the place with the giant pump she had seen him once again. Looking down at her with only a faint spark of acknowledgement. And once more he had not spoken a word to her. The cold gaze that he gave her had frozen her voice. She had not been able to form any sort of sentence. Why did he only stare at her from a distance? If he had wanted he could have attacked her at anytime. The ice that speckled that area was mixed with enough Phazon to be deadly on impact. He could have made contact with her if he had so desired. Yet he had just looked at her. Silent as winter.
So distracted was she by her thoughts about the Phyrigisian that she was quickly overwhelmed by the sudden onslaught of Space Pirates. They came suddenly and forcefully. Throwing grenades that caused the level of Phazon in her body to swell to dangerous levels.
After dispatching the first wave Samus cursed to herself. More of them were coming. "Damn it. Why does there seem to be no end to you?," she spat callously. The pirates responded by growling roughly as they advanced.
Suddenly as a blizzard, pillars of frigidness covered the area. Sending the wretched creatures scuttling like cockroaches. Samus was surprised, but relieved. For the source of the helpful frost was none other that the one who she had been looking for.
"Rundas." She gave a calmed, small smile as she turned to see him emerge from the ice. "I knew you would show up eventually." Out of habit she gave him a quick scan before continuing. Nothing seemed to be out of order.
"I though you might have lost your wits, with the way you were avoiding me. But now I see. You were planning on ambushing the pirates from the start so you didn't want to make your presence too obvious."
She let her body relax slightly. "You sure had me fooled for a second." She spoke with a slight smirk. The Phyrigisian showed no real emotion. Instead he kept his attention fixed on the huntress. Samus hesitated. He was acting strange again.
"Rundas, what's the matter?" She took a single step forward. But that was all it took. The big alien lunged at her, attempting to freeze her within his grasp. Skillfully she evaded him by a hairs width.
Eyes wide with shock, the huntress shouted, "What are you doing?!" He only retorted with grunts and growls like a feral animal. Feeling irate she scanned his body once more.
"Corrupted…," Samus whispered sadly. She straightened herself, arm cannon steady. "I'm sorry. I was too late to prevent this." Methodically she raised her arm, aiming it at the PED system attached to his armor. Sensing the coming blast, Rundas covered himself in a shell of thick ice.
In her eyes burned a passion hotter that the flames of any sun. "But I won't be too late to save you."
As I said, this is my first Metroid story so bear with me as I find my rhythm. I promise to make the story more emotional later on. This is a romance after all.
Too much detail, not enough dialog, too little/much story? Let me know.