"A Very Sexy Un-Birthday Contest"
Title: Revenge Cake
Author(s): restlessxpen
Disclaimer: I don't own these characters, but I have an amazing time with them. All characters and related material belong to Stephenie Meyer
To view other entries for this contest, please visit http://www (dot) fanfiction (dot) net/community/A_Very_Sexy_Un-Birthday_Contest/78947/

Author Notes: This is an entry for the Very Sexy Un-bday contest. You should know what to expect. :P Take a look. Tell me what you think.

"It's a surprise," Emily said. "It'll be at our house tonight around eight o'clock."

I didn't think that Sam was really the type for surprise birthday parties, but turning thirty had to come with some sort of recognition, right? After the thrills of turning twenty-one, a guy needed a party or two to keep his spirits up as he climbed toward gray hairs and arthritis. Maybe it would lighten up what seemed like Sam's permanently bleak outlook.

I doubted it.


"Yeah, yeah, I'm here," I told the mouth of the telephone, scratching the stubble that had grown on my face overnight.

I nudged a pile of clothes over, watching them as they unrolled on the floor, deciding that they were all probably too dirty to wear tonight. I'd have to do the laundry to find anything party-worthy, but there was something that concerned me more than the proper attire needed to ring in your friend's thirtieth birthday.

"Who all is invited?" I asked.

Emily drew in a breath, hesitant. I felt the same apprehension as I turned toward my window. I poked a finger into the blinds, bending one downward to peek outside. Emily's call had stirred me from sleep, and I was irritated to find that it was still early morning. The sun was barely beginning to climb above the trees.

Aside from patrol duty, I'd spent a long night negotiating a renewed treaty with the Cullen's. Their Volturi friends had been coming annoyingly close lately, and, though Carlisle had reassured me that he had the situation under control, I didn't trust them. The meeting had been exhausting. It was hard to make a new treaty when the first one had been so thoroughly obliterated that it seemed laughable to attempt another.

They'd bitten a human, they'd changed a human, and they hadn't made any apologies.

I released the blind and listened to it snap shut, trying not to think of Bella. All of these years, and it was still hard to deal with her. Vampire or not, married to Edward Cullen or not, things hadn't changed as drastically for me as they had for her. My feelings still existed, though I was becoming better and better at hiding them.

Sooner or later, I was sure that I was bound to forget them. There were really weak moments when I wished, like a coward, to finally find my imprint so that I could block Bella out completely, but I was beginning to think that I didn't have an imprint.

Wouldn't that be my luck?

"Well," Emily said, "I invited Paul and Embry, Quil and Seth, a few other guys from La Push and... Leah."

I sat down on the edge of my bed, pinching the bridge of my nose and closing my eyes. Inviting Leah to Sam's birthday party wasn't the smartest thing in the world, but, the problem was, not inviting Leah to Sam's birthday party was probably an even worse idea.

Leah's bitterness toward Sam hadn't faded any more than my feelings for Bella had. Years had passed since he'd first imprinted on Emily, but Leah held to that moment of betrayal like a moth clings to a street light, bumping and bouncing against it with blind determination. It hurt and it was dangerous, but she just couldn't let go. Keeping her at a modest distance from Sam—especially from Sam and Emily together—was the best thing that anyone could do.

However, excluding Leah from Sam's birthday party would have added insult to injury. Though she, in all likelihood, really didn't want to be there to begin with, she'd be even more pissed if she didn't have that chance to be there and sulk and glare.

"Was that a bad idea?" Emily asked, anxious.

"No, no, I don't think so. It'll be fine, Em," I assured her. "I'll see you tonight."

This was definitely a bad idea.

I smirked. Happy birthday, Sam. Aren't you in for a big one?


Hostility was heavy in the far corner of Sam's living room. Leah lurked there like a phantom, her face shifting in and out of the shadows where the lamplight didn't reach as she turned her head from side to side, watching Sam's birthday party guests with unbridled disdain. I didn't think that she hated any of them in particular, but I imagined that each one of them was taking on Sam's face as they moved past, though Sam himself was warily keeping to the opposite side of the room in a small crowd that kept him from her view.

I didn't blame him. Standing on one side of Embry, who was talking to Sam excitedly about something I hadn't been paying enough attention to, I had glanced over my shoulder when the heat on the back of my neck became unbearable, and had found that it was thanks to Leah, who had been glaring so determinedly through me toward where Sam stood on the other side of me that I'd physically felt her anger.

I'd lifted a brow at her, but she'd merely scowled at me and had turned her attention to Seth—the only one brave enough to approach his sister. As beautiful as she was, she was unapproachable with that look on her face, that sort of rigidness in her posture. I'd seen plenty of the other men from La Push—Emily's guests outside of the wolf pack—stealing glances at her only to hurry away in fear. Leah's silky black hair, full lips, and slender, but ample, build wasn't enough to hide the fact that she was obviously a hellcat who wasn't above ripping a man's heart out.

Even Seth didn't last long. Even his still youthful enthusiasm couldn't crack his sister's shell. I watched the smile he'd approached her with wilt into a frown as, whatever he said to her, was answered with what was bound to be a snide remark that flattened any of Seth's compassion for his sister.

"I just wanted to tell you all thank you for coming!"

I looked around at Emily as she began speaking. Despite the scars on her face, Emily had an aura that drew people in. Everyone grew quiet, turning their focus to her where she stood just in the doorway, having emerged fresh from the kitchen. She gave a small smile to the eyes turned toward her.

"We wanted you all to know how much you mean to Sam and I for sharing this day with us."

I didn't have to look to see that the one that snorted at this was Leah. I made a face, feeling her presence in the corner of the room like a heavy storm cloud in an otherwise clear sky. Even I knew when it was the right time to be an asshole and when it was the wrong time. I gave Emily credit for ignoring it.

She continued, "You all are welcome to any of the food and drink here, but I wanted you to know that we'll be moving outside soon for the bonfire before the cake."

Her smile widened, pushing up toward her eyes, and then she left her small spotlight and went to Sam, who had lifted a hand toward her. She tucked herself underneath his arm, and I glanced around again in time to see Leah practically turning red.

Shit. Looked like I was going to have to handle the she wolf.

What the hell was I thinking?

I crossed the room toward the corner that everyone had been making a wide berth to avoid. Leah watched me approach, and I frowned right back at her as she frowned at me. I took a drink of the punch in the plastic cup I'd been carrying, wishing that it had been spiked. Being slightly intoxicated wasn't a bad thing when you had to deal with a headache like Leah.

"Come on. Let's talk."

I spoke low, taking her elbow in my free hand. I expected her to resist, and she did for a second, until she heard the soft sound of Emily's laughter from where she stood in the group, nestled under Sam's arm. That got Leah moving.

I led her to the kitchen, and I was glad to find that no one else was there. Just us, the cake, and a bottle of champagne that was still unopened. I saw Leah scowl at the cake with it's scrawled blue letters that read, "HAPPY BIRTHDAY, SAM!"

She stood with her hip wedged against the end of the counter, arms folded, her chin tilted in a challenging angle. Her eyes lingered on the cake. I was rethinking my decision to bring her anywhere near anything with Sam's name on it, but as long as the only thing she planned to do was give it the stink eye, I could deal with it.

"Was that necessary?"

"What do you think?"

I sighed. "Leah, it's been years. You've got to let it go."

She looked up at me. I wished that she had kept staring at the cake instead. Her mouth was contorted so thoroughly that I wondered how it wasn't locked in a permanent grimace. I had gone through my own bouts of self-loathing and bitterness, but, looking at Leah, my darker emotions felt inferior. The pain was all in her eyes, in the purse of her lips, and the defensiveness of the arms folded across her chest.

"Oh really, Black? You want to teach me how? You did such an amazing job with Bella."

It was a low-blow that I should have expected. Leah wasn't above playing dirty, but I winced anyway, feeling the cold slap of her sarcasm against my face. Having seen Bella only the night before made things worse. Her face was still an open wound. Each time I had to see her, it took days for the injury to heal.

Maybe Leah was right. Maybe I was a hypocrite, but I didn't go to Bella's house and glare from the shadows in a corner, laughing at everything Edward said, despite how much I might have wanted to.

"Kiss my ass, Leah. At least I don't look like a pathetic ass every time I see her and Edward together."

Fighting fire with fire with Leah wasn't the right choice. I knew that. I knew it better than just about anyone, but damn it if I wasn't going to do it anyway. If she was going to hit my Bella buttons, I was going to bruise her pride. There was too much of it anyway. It was crowding the room with us, and it was pissing me off.

The stress that lingered from last night didn't feel like being goaded right now.

"What?" she snarled. "I don't—I'm not—You asshole! I'm pathetic? You're the one that chased Bella around like a pathetic fucking puppy! At least I kept my dignity!"

Dignity? HA! That's what she wanted to call sulking in a corner? Annoyance turned into anger, bubbling red in my vision. She looked so damned smug and self-righteous with her chin tilted like that, her eyes sparking with embers of fire.


"Jake? Leah? We're all heading outside now. Come on!" Seth called.

"We'll be there in a second!" Leah hissed.

"Oh? You want to go out there and make a fool of yourself again?" I snapped.

"Fuck you!"

"Ah—okay," Seth spoke hesitantly, stopping just short of coming into the kitchen as he overheard us. "We'll be outside. See you guys out there."

He was smart to flee the scene. I was about to kick his sister's ass, and I didn't think he'd want to be around to see that fight. It was about time for someone to knock sense back into her dense skull. Telling me that I was pathetic! What a crock!

"You realize that everyone out there knows that you're still obsessed with him, right? They used to feel sorry for you. Now we all think you should suck it up."

Leah stood straight, dropping her arms to her sides. I watched her hands curl up into fists, and I wondered if she would initiate the fight. If she wanted to be that stupid, I welcomed it. One good wolf fight would definitely cleanse my system of some very pent up anger. I felt slightly sorry that we were about to destroy Sam and Emily's kitchen, but I thought they might both thank me afterward.

"You idiot! Everyone knows that you cry yourself to sleep at night for Bella, like some pitiful child. All you've done for years is mope about her marrying that leech, and she's a leech now too, and you still want to fuck her!" Leah snarled, waving a hand dramatically at me, thrusting a finger in my face. "Do you even still know how to use your dick, Black? Or did it wilt like a little crumpled flower from ill-use?"

I didn't mean to be the first to do it, but I shoved Leah backward, forcing her into the counter that surely dug painfully into her hip. I saw her wince, but she covered it quickly, baring her teeth in a snarl as she shoved back against me.

"What the hell would you know, Leah? Have you ever even been with anyone else?"

"I know plenty!" Leah shot back, and then, she did something that shut me up, clamping her hand over my jeans so that she cupped my dick. "Yup! Just what I thought! Completely unimpressive!"

The fact that my dick was in Leah's already agitated hand was frightening, but she'd already pissed me off enough that I was still seeing red, and I was still stoked for a fight, though there was definitely a weird angle on this now with Leah groping my jeans.

"Unimpressive?" I scoffed. "An erection requires attraction, Clearwater."

Leah's mouth opened, a quiet smacking sound of disbelief. I wanted to laugh a really loud victory laugh for having hit the insult on the head. Maybe if you looked too hard you'd miss it, but I hadn't. Leah was vain. When Sam had left her, she had not only had her feelings hurt, but her ego as well. Maybe the others had tuned out her incessant prattling about Sam after the initial months after the breakup, but I'd caught those underlying egotistical remarks she had made to herself when she thought no one was looking.

"How could he choose her?" I had heard her think on more than one occasion. "I'm much more attractive than she is. Look at us, Sam! What the hell are you thinking?"

I saw the same thing turning the cogs of her brain right then, the disbelief that maybe I really wasn't attracted to her, the realization that she had just assumed that most of the guys in the pack—if not all—had been attracted to her if they still weren't. It was satisfying, but only so much as something can be when an angry girl has your dick in her grip.

Like a small act of mercy, Leah removed her hand, and lifted it, instead, to wrap a hand around my collar and yank my face down to hers.

"Coming from a guy that thinks bloodsuckers are sexy, I'm hard-pressed to be offended, you moron," she growled.

I could see the heat in her eyes much more clearly from this level. They were like little dark, scorching balls of fire, daring me to tempt her to lay me out, like she thought that she could actually take me. Her lips were still parted. I could see little squares of her teeth. I could feel the heat of her breath. From this proximity, I might have even faintly heard the gathering blood in her body, pumping a little quicker than usual. I wondered if she was angry enough to phase.

"Bella's not the only girl I've ever found attractive. You remember Wendy?"

Leah squinted, as if trying to recall, and then she laughed. "Wendy Lucane? The outsider?"

Wendy had moved into the reservation in grade school days. She'd long since gone back to where ever she'd come from, and she was only a faint impression in my mind, but she was the first one to crop up for use in my current argument.

"Yeah. She was hot as hell too," I told her. "Sorry you don't make the cut."

I felt hot. Warmth was spreading from my mouth to the back of my skull, down my throat, and through my body. It took me a few confused seconds to realize that this was because Leah had given one hard, fateful jerk of my collar, and she'd brought my lips down against hers.

Holy shit.

Even realizing this, I couldn't quite understand it. How was I suddenly kissing Leah? Why were her lips on mine, hot and seeking and hungry? Why did her tongue sneak past my lips to caress my own, dancing languidly until I couldn't help but to respond.

I'd thought, for a long time now, that my sex drive had been murdered for good. I thought that, after Bella married Edward, I'd never know the meaning of lust again, that all my semen would just dry up and blow away like dust, and that there would never be little Jacob Black's running around anywhere, but as Leah—the object of much scorn in my life—came alive against me, I started thinking about how much I really did want to exercise my more primitive feelings of desire again.

Leah was slender, but toned and still shapely. I put my hands against her for the first time, feeling her stomach before sliding up to feel her perky little breasts that fit right into my hands. The nipples were already taut, and I rubbed them roughly with my thumbs, feeling them right through her bra.

She groaned as I did this, and it did all sorts of things to the equipment in my pants that I had actually, privately, felt might have been broken.

Holy shit, I thought again. No way. No way I'm groping Leah. No way I'm kissing her, thinking of fucking her. What the hell had happened to the world?

I pressed against her, and she bumped into the counter again, jarring just a sliver of sense into my brain. It was enough to force me to realize that we were in Sam's kitchen, in Sam's house, right next to Sam's birthday cake, but it wasn't enough to make me give a damn.

Leah tilted her head, her tongue sliding deeper into my mouth. I felt her silky hair brush my face, and then I knew that this was not enough. Somewhere between negotiations with vampires and telling Leah that she was a pathetic waste, I had been beaten about the head and come to the crazy conclusion that I might have actually really been attracted to Leah all of this time.

Ha. Yeah. Okay.

But it would explain why I was currently redirecting my hands to travel up underneath the material of her shirt, around to her back, where I could unclasp her bra, because that's what I was doing. As Leah kissed me brainless, I unhooked her bra and had full control of her breasts, which I took hungrily into my hands again.

Somewhere outside, gathered around a blazing bonfire, were our friends and her old lover, but I didn't give a shit. How long had it been since I'd had sex? Real, dirty, sweaty, hungry sex?

"Well, look at that, Jake, looks like it works after all."

I'd gone stiff, and it was now pressing heavily into the inside of Leah's thigh. She pulled away from my mouth, glancing down in between us with gloating satisfaction. I had half a notion that this had all been some stupid test to prove that she could turn me on, but it was about to be a lot more than some game.

"Better check," I said, practically growling. "Better check to make sure it actually works."

Leah looked up at me, her face registering surprise. "What?"

She gave a sexy little gasp as I reached for her pants. It was about then that I realized she was wearing a skirt. Why the fuck hadn't I noticed that before? Oh yeah, because I hadn't been attracted to her until about five seconds ago when she'd fucking kissed me. Well, smart thinking on her part for her little skirt. It was about to make things a lot easier.

I lifted her skirt. I pulled her panties down, and I plunged my fingers in—two of them, to the knuckles, straight to her warm, wet core. Leah let out another gasp, but this one was ragged. Her hand pawed blindly for my forearm where she took hold as if to steady herself.

"Jacob," she panted.

And I could hear all her unspoken questions.

Are we really doing this? What about Sam and everyone outside? I thought you weren't fucking attracted to me? Holy shit, how did we get here?

But she didn't seem to care either, because she was already working my pants down and off. Her hand slid up and down my length once, but she was anxious, and, really, so was I. I was thrilled to see that everything still worked, and I was ready to put it to the real test. The big one.

I cupped her ass and lifted her onto me. She slid right down, and I slid right up inside of her, like it was perfect, like it was meant to be. She gave a husky groan of pure delight, and I greedily caught one of her nipples in my mouth, sucking, biting. Her shirt and bra were still pushed up her chest where I had greedily shoved them aside earlier. She had the best looking skin, all smooth and bronze, and I wanted to caress all of it. I wanted to taste it.

"Jacob," she said my name again as I pumped into her. "Jacob, the counter's digging into my ass. It fucking hurts."

"Shit," I cursed. "Sorry."

Oops. I pulled out of her, to my deepest regret, slow and carefully, feeling every part of her pull at me to keep me in, to keep me sunk right into her deepest, warmest center. Her fingers dug into my shoulders as she slid down onto her own two feet.

We were both breathing heavily, looking at each other with wide-eyed, hungry disbelief. Neither of us were done. I didn't have to ask. I took her by the arm, but she was already turning around, bending over the counter top as I took her from behind in long, hard strokes. I felt the movement jar her. I could hear the quick catches of her breath.

"Harder, Jacob."

It was hard to hold back. Harder and faster was the way that I wanted it too, but I wasn't positive I could last if I caved to that temptation. It had been a long time since I'd had sex with anyone, since the rebound girl I'd taken home from a bar after Bella's wedding, and I didn't want to let this go too quick after discovering how hot Leah really was.

"Harder," she growled again.

Yes, ma'am.

I took her hips in my hands, drew out, and then forced myself back in, driving her onto her tip-toes as I sunk into her, tearing like fire and ecstasy into her depths so that she cried out loud, and I groaned with her, straining over the top of her to kiss her back, to bite her shoulder. I reached around her, holding the counter so that I could really drive into her, and it was then that I realized that I'd forced her right into Sam's cake.

It covered her chest and nipples and the top of her stomach. It no longer said, "HAPPY BIRTHDAY, SAM!" but, instead, said, "HA IRTHDAY!"


She laughed, almost maniacal. "Don't fucking stop, Black. I don't give a shit."

There was now something incredibly sexy about cake. Especially birthday cake. I couldn't really remember how far away my own birthday was at the moment, but I knew that, next time it came around, I definitely wanted Leah's firm breasts planted in it.

One hand on the counter, one hand massaging the cake and icing on her right nipple—squeezing, pinching, pulling—I pounded into her. I rode her. I took her like I had never taken anyone, and felt sole proprietorship, like she was actually mine.

I wondered where Sam's name went. I wondered if it was stuck to her breasts or her stomach, and then I thought that it really didn't matter.

I pressed my mouth against her hair, right over her ear.

"When I'm done, I'm going to lick all of this off of you," I warned her.

I felt her shudder, tightening around me, and that was what I needed. That was the icing on my cake. I filled her and filled her. I rocked with her as I came inside of her, and I felt her tightening around me still further, as if she sensed my climax and was responding with one of her own. I wasn't done. I wanted it to go on forever.

"Leah? Jacob?"

Oh. Shit.

Both of us froze. Leah was still in the cake, bent over the counter, and I was still behind her, one hand on her breast, and the other still on the counter. We were both facing toward the kitchen door when Sam walked through.

I saw the shock all over his face as he realized—pretty quickly—what was going on. I didn't think there was any way not to know. It was pretty fucking obvious considering that my pants were around my ankles, and that Leah was all but completely naked and covered in his birthday cake. I felt the heat rise to my face from lust and guilt and satisfaction, but also from mortification and disbelief with myself.

Had I actually just fucked my friend's ex right on top of his birthday cake? Was I really here, right now, with my dick still inside of Leah?

Why couldn't I really regret it?

I felt like I should apologize, that I should at least say something to break this crunching silence, but I really wasn't sure what there was that I could say considering that I was still pretty confused myself and was coming down from a sexual high that was pretty mind-blowing.

"What the—What the hell is going on?" Sam stammered.

And then Leah laughed. She laughed long and loud, and I could feel each of those laughs tear through her as if I was laughing myself. She laughed until there were tears in her eyes.

After she was done, she said just about the only thing that there was left to say.

"That's right!" She snarled, making me feel her satisfaction. "We just fucked on your birthday cake. Happy birthday, you son of a bitch!"

It wasn't a birthday party anymore.

It was Leah's revenge.