Nostalgia

by Jet Set Yoyo

Disclaimer: I don't own Andrew, Alice or anything else. I'm working on it though.

Summary: A songfic about Hatter, what he does and how he feels after Alice goes through the looking glass.

Song: Vanilla Twilight by Owl City

I just found this song and it made me think of Hatter as I listened to it for the fourth time in a half hour so I came up with a fic for it. My first songfic ever. (YAY!)


The stars lean down to kiss you
And I lie awake and miss you
Pour me a heavy dose of atmosphere

A frazzle-haired man lay outside his demolished tea shop. It had been weeks since Alice was whisked from his side and shoved back through the Looking Glass along with all the other oysters and yet he was thinking about the days they spent together; it was only a few but it had seemed to last a lifetime. He gave an audible sigh as he rested his hands behind his head and stared up at the stars for what felt like the millionth night in a row.

'Cause I'll doze off safe and soundly
But I'll miss your arms around me
I'd send a postcard to you dear
'Cause I wish you were here.

Everything they'd been through… from the moment Ratty had brought her into his shop to the moment he'd come rushing to save her in the Casino and then finally when she was ushered into the looking glass. She had already said the last few days was more than enough of Wonderland for a lifetime and her words echoed in his ears; he knew she wouldn't be coming to see him any time soon.

But why would she? His inner demons whispered to him in the darkness. She was happy to leave with Jack after he'd risked his life for her all those times, she was also more than happy to jump through the looking glass and not even look back. She didn't need him, if anything Jack would be a better fit for her. As for himself, he was nothing. He was a conman and there was nothing he could possibly give her. But Jack, Jack could give her everything she ever wanted and more, and what's more is that she already liked him. Hatter sighed again, the stars seemed to laugh at him with their twinkling bliss.

I'll watch the night turn light blue
But it's not the same without you
Because it takes two to whisper quietly.

His mind wandered again to their short-lived memories together. This time settling on their night's stay at one senile old Knight's manor. Though they argued, he'd give anything to be back in that moment again; to spend the night with her. He closed his eyes and turned his head to the side, realizing the horizon was beginning to lighten.

"I suppose there'll be no sleep tonight either," he mumbled, sitting up and moving to lean against the outer wall of his shop. His eyes hurt and he squeezed them shut, the dark bags under his eyes proved enough the man had hardly slept a wink since she'd left.

The silence isn't so bad
Till I look at my hand and feel sad
'Cause the spaces between my fingers
Are right where yours fit perfectly

Looking down at his lap he focused on his hands. Hands that had held her more times than he could count, hands that did everything they could to help her. His eyes stung for a moment as he felt a heavy weight in his chest. He wanted to hold her again, that last good-bye hug wasn't enough for him. He didn't even get a proper good-bye; too busy muddling up his words and avoiding the ones he really wanted to say.

"I mean, pizza? Really? What could I possibly have been thinking?" He said, mentally kicking himself.

I'll find repose in new ways
Though I haven't slept in two days
'Cause cold nostalgia chills me to the bone
But drenched in vanilla twilight
I'll sit on the front porch all night
Waist-deep in thought because when I think of you
I don't feel so alone.

These feelings were like nothing he'd ever experienced before and he had loved every moment of them while she was here. But now she was gone and the heavy feeling in his chest had sucked every happy thought out of him, he sat there remembering each once happy memory and wincing every time. They were too painful now, past memories of something he'd never have.

The sky was getting lighter by the minute around him and a white-ish light peeked over the horizon as the sky streaked itself brilliant shades of blues, yellows, pinks and purples. He let himself fall deeper into his memories, especially to the one where he'd first met her. She was soaked to the bone in that pretty blue dress of hers as Ratty brought her in. The moment he laid eyes on her he knew she was special, it just took him longer to find out how.

As many times as I blink
I'll think of you tonight
I'll think of you tonight

Somehow, without him knowing, hot tears had begun to fall down his cheeks; by the time he'd realized it, it was too late to stop them. He brought a hand up to his face and pressed it hard against his eyes as he cried even harder, tears soaking his sleeve. He just couldn't live without her, they'd known each other only a couple of days but already he'd become more attached to her than he had to anyone else.

When violet eyes get brighter
And heavy wings grow lighter
I'll taste the sky and feel alive again
And I'll forget the world that I knew
But I swear I won't forget you

After nearly an hour, the sun had peeked over the horizon and his wet eyes glistened in the new light. He'd finally willed himself to stop lamenting. People would be waking now, but he honestly didn't care if they saw him like this; Alice was all that mattered. Shakily he got to his feet and began to walk with no idea where his feet were taking him, too lost in his own thoughts. When he snapped out of his reverie and looked up, he found himself standing in the very hall where Alice had been snatched away from him.

He hadn't a clue how long he stood there staring at the contraption, as if any moment it would spit his Alice back out into his arms and all would be well. He shook his head, she wasn't coming back; she'd already said she wasn't and he believed it.

Oh, if my voice could reach back through the past
I'd whisper in your ear,
Oh darling

"I wish you were here." He whispered as another tear slid down his cheek.


Reviews? I love review! I'll send you Hatter plushies! :3