disclaimer

I, Kagura Fuujinnomai do not own Bankotsu, Jakotsu, Suzaku, Hiten or any of the other characters associated with the Inuyasha series.

I get nothing from writing my Fanfics.

I am simply a fangirl who wishes to share her passion with the rest of the world.

- sincerely,

Kagura Fuujinnomai


(AN. This was a challenge fic. What's the challenge? Write something that makes even ME squick!!

As such, I must now give you fair warning that this story is not for the faint of heart!
It is designed to be thought-provoking and true to life, not flowery, rainbow-colored romance.

That aside:

For clarification purposes: Though each is a different genre, this does take place in the same universe as my other work. The setting is sometime after the one called "Aisuru" yet 4 years before the one called "Not For All The World" so if you like this piece and find yourself wanting more, please see my other works!

As always, please Read, Review, and most importantly, Enjoy. )

Chapter One: Dominance



'Another day, another splitting headache.'

"Oh Ban-Chan are you sure you don't want me to get you something while I'm out? I hate to see you looking like you're hurt! Maybe some pocky?"

Bankotsu held the cold press to his forehead, waving off his mother's worry yet again.
"I'm fine Mama, go on and do your shopping. Don't worry about me."

"Alright I'll be back soon!"
Mama gave him a quick peck on the cheek before ducking out of the house. She didn't notice the way Bankotsu growled at her fleeting backside. 'How old does she think I am?! Five?!' Here he was, a teenager, taller than her, and she was still treating him like a baby!

"It's not like I've never had my ass handed to me before…" He grumbled this as he wandered off to the bathroom and peered into the mirror. The damage looked minimal to Bankotsu, but based on the looks he'd gotten, very startling to everyone else. There was a large purple bruise right in the center of his forehead, courtesy of Hiten Raiyuki. The two best friends had literally butted heads all afternoon and Bankotsu had lost spectacularly. How? Well Bankotsu couldn't really remember… 'It was fun though'.

He was addicted to that kind of rushing adrenaline and excitement! When he collided with any of the other football players, he could knock them right off their feet. Challenging others to contests of strength gave him a rush like nothing else! On the football field Bankotsu was no longer human, but a wild, bloodthirsty ram. He could bowl anyone out of his way; crush anyone who dared oppose him! 'Everyone that is, except Raiyuki Hiten…'

Bankotsu still remembered the very first time he'd met Raiyuki. They'd attended the same school for years but he'd never noticed him until the two were paired up during practice. The coach got a real kick out of pitting the newest recruits up against his star player just to see how long they could remain standing. Bankotsu liked this arrangement. It saved him the trouble of going out of his way to find new opponents.

On that not so special Saturday morning, Bankotsu was running a little bit late to practice.
When he arrived on the field the other members of the team greeted him cheerfully; jeering and joking on his tardiness.

"What took you, IchiBan?"
"Busy with your girlfriend again?"

"Maybe!" Bankotsu laughed, exchanging various handshakes and nods with each of them as he made his way toward the locker room. He was forced to stop short however, as the coach stood right in front of the door. "Good morning Ichiban!" The overly-zealous coach greeted, slapping him heartily on the back. If Bankotsu had been wearing his uniform that slap would have landed directly on the large blue number one that belonged on his back. "You don't need to change into your uniform! Got a special treat for my star player today!"

He led Bankotsu back onto the field and the other boys gathered around. The excitement spread instantly. They'd seen this many times before. "Fresh meat?" many of them guessed, sounding hopeful. "Poor guy."
"Bankotsu's gonna cream 'im"
"Yeah, as usual."

"Stand right here," the coach instructed, and Bankotsu did so, laughing along with his friends as the coach turned to go fetch him his newest opponent. "I feel bad for this guy already."
"Haze time," the others shrugged.

The coach returned after only a moment, grinning broadly as he led the guy he introduced as "Raiyuki Hiten, everyone!" The others greeted their newcomer; some jeered and some actually laughed out loud, but Bankotsu only stared. "What the fuck! He looks just like Ichiban!"
"Twins for sure!"
"Weird…"

They were right. This Raiyuki guy looked very much like Bankotsu himself. His long black hair was twisted up in a braid and his pale lips were curled up into an infectious, cocky grin.
"Nice to meet you."

Well that was the understatement of the century. Formalities were such a waste of time.
Bankotsu could already tell this Raiyuki would prove to be a worthy opponent. It wasn't hard to guess how much power he had in those thick, tanned arms. He knew a fellow ram when he saw one... 'Perfect.' Were those chocolate cat-eyes sizing him up too?

"Now Raiyuki-san," The coach interrupted their staring match to give Hiten instruction,
"Try your best to knock Bankotsu off his feet. Impress him and you can join the team."

"Sounds easy enough," that cocky grin replied.

"That's what they all said."
"Yeah."
"Right before Bankotsu sent em to the hospital."
"Crying like bitches."

"That's enough boys!" The coach ushered Bankotsu and Hiten away from their mouthy audience and the two stood facing each other. Already their eyes locked, ready and waiting, just like their bodies that positively itched to meet. It was impossible to tell who initiated and who reacted. The two collided like crashing thunder; teeth bared and horns gnashing.
A tackling attempt quickly grew into a deadlocked wrestling match. Neither could force the other from his feet. Hiten's cocky grin suited his powerfully unyielding spirit and Bankotsu couldn't help but mimic it, even as he realized he'd finally met his match.

"Harder!"
Hiten obeyed, growling as he forced their heads together. Heat, pain, and fierce ambition clashed; numbed, and at the same time savored. The two panted, grunted, and forced their bodies together countless times, but neither could dominate the other. How long had they remained like that, locked in each other's unyielding embrace? Neither could tell. Time was lost, swallowed by ferocity; determination.

But finally, in the end they hit the ground at the exact same time. Hiten collapsed right on top of Bankotsu; utterly exhausted. With the cold grass on his back and that sweaty, heated forehead pinned up against his own, Bankotsu panted in perfect unison with his newfound match. "Never- I've never met anyone that could-" His lungs hurt too much to finish. His entire body ached…

"Does that mean," Hiten panted, "you're impressed?"

"Yeah…"

That cocky grin shown just as confident as ever and those cat-like eyes sparkled just as cheerfully. 'Amazing.' That's all Bankotsu's shocked mind could comprehend. He immediately wanted to spar again; to feel that powerful body against his own until he couldn't handle it anymore. Time flew. Many times he won the game and many times he lost, and their relationship strengthened all the while. Raiyuki Hiten; the most impressive, addictive man he'd ever met…

"Daydreaming again?"

Bankotsu snapped out of his memory, whipping around to face the sneering Jakotsu who'd seemingly appeared from nowhere. "Aisuru?! How'd you get in my house?"

"I have my waysss" the older male hissed, sounding just like the slippery serpent he was.
Jakotsu slid right into the bathroom and attached himself to his secret lover.
"Missed you today." he whispered, flicking his tongue out to tease his stunned partner.
He just barely tasted the salt on that delectable neck. Bankotsu had obviously only just returned from football practice. His scent was husky, gently accentuated by a touch of sweat. Just one lick made Jakotsu more hungry for him; ravenous. He sank his fangs into that irresistible neck and shoved Bankotsu up against the wall.

'Everyone's always trying to make me their bitch.' Bankotsu couldn't help but think this. Jakotsu was so persistent, just like Hiten. Each played the same game, trying to force him to his knees, and Bankotsu loved them too much to refuse. With Jakotsu in particular, there was no denying him what he wanted. Those smooth fingers slid right up under his shirt and lifted it off over his head before immediately tugging his pants out of the way. With their heated skin pressed together, Bankotsu allowed himself to be kissed by those hungry red lips, noting the fact that Jakotsu had already kicked the door closed. "Let'sss fuck," his serpent hissed, flicking his tongue out, and tracing wet kisses further down until they met the object of his desire.

Jakotsu stood on his knees, running his smooth, heated tongue out over the tender, loose flesh, amused by the way his lover's excitement made itself known. Bankotsu nearly growled in frustration as that tantalizing heat teased him. "Mama might come back soon…" he offered this warning, but at the same time slid his fingers into Jakotsu's hair and yanked him closer.
"Put it in your mouth."

Jakotsu shook his head, teasing his tongue along the entire length of his partner's earnestly swelling erection. "That's not what I came here for…"

"Fucking stubborn-" Bankotsu growled as he shoved his cross-dressing lover away, but Jakotsu was not fazed. He merely stood and turned around, accepting the challenge. Those painted red nails touched his toes as he bent forward in those heels and presented his lover with the succulent swell of his hips; shameless and provocative. That tight red dress rode up easily as he backed up; teasing, tempting. "I saw you at practice today," he purred, "wrestling with that other boy… Ooh, it makes me so hot seeing you fight like that…"

"We weren't fighting," Bankotsu had said this without thinking. He was preoccupied with thoroughly wetting his fingers. Thinking of anything else while Jakotsu was bent over like this was very difficult. "It's just a game we like to play."

"A hot, sweaty, delicious game," The mischievous cross dresser teased. "I demand you play with me too." Bankotsu scoffed, roughly shoving his fingers inside of his infuriating partner.
"Oh, yes!" Jakotsu was so loud. His bright red dress and those noises only spurred Bankotsu on more. Those gasping, shuddering breaths meant pain and pleasure rolled into one; exactly what he wanted. This conniving temptress wasn't even wearing anything under that dress…

He backed up so those fingers slid completely inside, but then refused when Bankotsu made to replace them with his tortured manhood. "Want me?" Jakotsu teased, standing to block his lover's next advance. Now it was Bankotsu's turn to hiss. "Yes…"
"Badly?"
"Yes, yes!"
"Then lay down."
"You lay down," was Bankotsu's immediate retort.
But Jakotsu only giggled as he turned, caught hold of Bankotsu's long, braided hair and yanked him away from the wall. The two kissed automatically; fiercely, passionately and wrestled for dominance all the while. In his mind Bankotsu was right back on the football field, with his throbbing headache, denying those powerful tan arms. 'Dominance.' It had never caused him frustration until he'd met someone who could match his strength. Jakotsu was no more stubborn than usual but suddenly Bankotsu desperately wanted to pin him down and forcibly reclaim his dominance. "Aisuru," he growled, practically begging in his frustration, "just let me-"
"No." Jakotsu snapped. This snake would neither be forced nor charmed.

"Fuckin'- fine." Bankotsu panted. He dragged his victorious lover to the ground and Jakotsu wasted no time in settling on top of him. The red dress rode up further as Jakotsu sank lower, allowing Bankotsu to sheathe himself completely in that tight, delicious heat. "Oh, yes…" Apparently this cross dresser had taken many riding lessons. He threw his beautiful head back and moved those hips with perfect, trained finesse. The friction only encouraged him. The cold tile beneath his palms was ignored, just like those restricting red heels. Those delicious hips crashed against Bankotsu's as his lover did all the work for him. Intense erotic humiliation melted into smoldering pleasure as Bankotsu moved his hips to Jakotsu's rhythm. Being dominated had never felt so amazing. "Hahh, oh, Aisuru…" His eyes slid closed as the pressure doubled and the sound of their moans danced along with their sweat-kissed, intimately entwined bodies. Their hips crashed again and again. Bankotsu yanked his lover closer, practically biting the lips that moaned his name as liquid ecstasy spilled out onto their stomachs. Dark blue eyes slid open to lock with stormy grey as Bankotsu joined his lover in climax; pumping his own pleasure into that flawless body.

The two of them panted in nearly perfect unison as they made to catch their breath. Smooth, cherry lips claimed Bankotsu's once again, swallowing his moan as Jakotsu moved to break the intimate connection of their exhausted bodies. "No, no," Bankotsu couldn't help but whisper. Why was there never any time to just lie still and enjoy the afterglow of their lovemaking?
"I have to go," Jakotsu apologized, even as his lover wrapped his arms around him.

Bankotsu kissed him, trying to stave off the miserable loneliness that was already starting to settle into his heart. "I love you, I love you…" He mumbled between each kiss, practically begging his lover to stay, even though he knew it was foolish. Their relationship was wrought with frustration and pain, just because they were both so infuriatingly male. "It's not fair…"

"Someday it will be," those cherry lips promised, trying to kiss away his troubles. "When we're older, we can be together…"

"Do you swear?"

"Of course my love." Jakotsu stood then, quickly straightening out the kinks in his dress and fixing his tousled hair in the mirror. Bankotsu took his example, kicking his pants off as he stood as well and made quick work of the cleanup. "I'll take a shower too," he decided, pulling his lover back to himself to offer a goodbye kiss. "Will I see you tomorrow?"

"Doubt it."

"Aisuru…."

"You quit worrying about that!" Jakotsu insisted, "go wash up already! Bad enough you almost got cum on my dress!"

"So vulgar," Bankotsu sighed, kissing him long and hard. "But oh, I love you so."

"I love you too babe." The cross dresser murmured, trying to break free of Bankotsu's controlling hold. Finally he succeeded and made to leave, but the moment he opened the door he startled backward, right back into Bankotsu. "Mama!?"

The blackheaded woman was frozen on the spot, with a face that almost perfectly mimicked her son's shock. Her hand hung in the air, as if she had been just about to knock on the door.
"I think she heard us…" Jakotsu whispered, ignoring his lover's sarcastic retort of "No, you think?!"

Eventually Mama regained her ability to move, though she was still unable to form a coherent sentence. "Bankotsu, y- You and, and together with… him?!" Her voice was little more than a disbelieving whisper.

Bankotsu's cheeks burned pink as he held his partner in place, practically hiding behind Jakotsu. "Mama please don't freak out…"

"He's a man! A cross-dressing, freak of a man!"

Jakotsu fired up at once, turning almost as red as his dress, "Excuse me?!"

"Wait, wait, wait!" Bankotsu just barely caught his infuriated lover, "we can talk about this like calm, rational adu-"

"You are not an adult!"

"Yes he is!"

"You shut up! Get away from my son!"

"Mama just-"

"No! Ban-Chan you're fifteen; You're a child, he's an adult! This is not even legal!"

"It's only a three year difference!" Jakotsu pointed out, but this only made her more upset.

"Don't. You. Even. Talk. To. me." She forced each word out, looking like she might seriously want to hurt him. "Keep your pedophile, male parts away from my son and out of my house!"

"Mama how can you say that?! He didn't do anything to you!"

"Ban-Chan be quiet!"

"Quit calling me that! I am not a kid!"

"Enough! Your poor father would die of shame! Have you even seen yourself, Bankotsu?! This is just- disgusting!"

Bankotsu choked on his next retort, enervated by those words. "Disgusting…" he echoed, meeting those furious blue eyes with his hurt, matching ones. Just a moment ago he'd thought that his inability to be with Jakotsu was the most painful thing he'd ever feel, but the newly born miserable shame far outweighed that… "I know it's disgusting."
Never had he seen or heard his mother act like that. There was something about homosexuality. Something that turned men into monsters and mothers into enemies…
"It's not like I wanted to be this way…"

For a while no one spoke, not even Jakotsu, who had at some point turned to face Bankotsu.
Those onyx eyes shown with loving concern. They were everything he treasured, yet everything he just could not have. He bowed his head, refusing to let the heated shame flow from his already miserable eyes. "But I can't help it. I love Jakotsu…"

This confession seemed to reduce his mother's anger, at least to allow for more calm speech.
"Kujaku-san," she began, addressing Jakotsu formally by his last name, "I need to talk to my son. If you leave my house, right now, I will not call the police." She then turned her back to them, allowing Bankotsu privacy, since he was still naked.

Jakotsu held that beautiful, miserable face in his hands. He hadn't seriously considered it before, but their age difference really was a bit startling. When Bankotsu looked so sad like this, he seemed even smaller; younger. At the moment he was on the verge of tears, overcome by the intense shame of his own 'disgusting' emotions. "It's okay," Jakotsu whispered, nuzzling his affection into the crook of his young lover's neck. "I have to leave, but I will still be with you, understand?" He held Bankotsu's hand up and pressed it against his chest so those shaking fingers could feel the beat of his heart. "Feel that?"

Bankotsu nodded, letting a little sniffle betray his forcedly calm composure.

"It means I love you." His precious Aisuru promised, speaking just loud enough for his mother to hear. "Even if we never touch again, I will only love you more. Day by day, year by year..."

He made to leave, but Bankotsu caught him once more. Their last kiss was wet with the salt of his tears; the bitter regret of the only thing he could never change. To think he had been so frustrated by the desire for masculine dominance. Now all he could think of was how badly he wished he had been born female. He would have made that sacrifice, just for the sake of this; the only feeling that made life itself worth the effort.

"I love you, I love you- wait… Please-"

Jakotsu pried those insistent hands off, trying not to look at the misery in those intense blue eyes. "When you're eighteen, we can make this work."

"No, no wait."

"Bankotsu…" The younger male startled, he hadn't heard Jakotsu call him by name for years.
"We can not be together."

"Don't say that!"

"I have to…"

Immediately those fingers closed around one of Jakotsu's thin, feminine wrists. So tightly that it hurt. "You don't mean that," Bankotsu insisted, trying to yank him back into the room. "Call me at least! Text me! We can still-"

"No, my love." One by one Jakotsu pried each finger from his bruising wrist, holding three of them up to those puffy red eyes. "Three years. And then you can hear my voice again."

"No, no…" His entire body shook with disbelief. Bankotsu thought he might puke. "Aisuru-"

"Don't call me that."

Those words sank like knives into his heart. It hurt so badly he couldn't move. Then the knives twisted, moving along with the thin, beautiful body that slid from his own. "Three years."
Those red lips promised that one last thing, and then Jakotsu turned around, true to his word, and walked out of his life, for Bankotsu's own good.

Before he knew it, Jakotsu was out of that house, walking down the street, and gazing listlessly at the sky as he thought of those wet blue eyes. Maybe his younger companion had been more muscle-bound, but Jakotsu was stronger inside. Walking away was the only option, so he would do it, despite the pain. He could do anything in fact, for the sake of the only one he'd ever loved… 'My poor Aisuru…'

'I know it's disgusting.'

Secretly, in his own heart, he too felt shame like that. If only he had been born truly female, like these tight, form fitting clothes. 'A piece of filth, Yes…' but at least then society would not hate him so completely. He'd only have to hate himself…

"Three more years…"