"I failed her Padme!" Anakin held his head in his hands. He sat on the bed in Padme's apartment, his wife sat beside him.
"You can't blame yourself for this Anakin. It's not your fault." Just as Anakin was about to rant at the top of his lungs on how it was his fault, and how he could have done better, she whispered, "But I miss her, too." That stopped Anakin cold.
I've been so selfish, in this entire time since I heard of Ahsoka's death, I've only thought of my pain. Not Padme's, she and Ahsoka were close… "I'm so sorry Padme." He murmured back. The Chosen One took a deep breath; "I only wish…" he trailed off.
"I know." His wife took a deep breath and laid her head on her spouse's shoulder, "If only this, if only that. But if you're going to blame yourself, then I'm joining in." At first Anakin assumed his wife was talking about blaming him, but then she started, "If only I'd convinced everyone that the War was a bad idea. If only I hadn't moved for a vote of no confidence in Valorum, because then Ahsoka wouldn't have come to the attention of Palpatine, and would never have been assigned to that mission." Padme shut her eyes tight as tears welled in them. "It's not right Anakin, she shouldn't have died. Dooku shouldn't have been there, why was he there Anakin, why?" she heaved a sob. He stroked her fine hair.
"I don't know, but I wish I knew."
Anakin held the blue and red blades at Count Dooku's throat, he could sense the irony the Count felt through the Force. Was this how Ahsoka died? He wondered.
"Kill him Anakin, kill him." The Chancellor urged.
"I shouldn't, it's not the Jedi way." He hesitated, he could almost hear Ahsoka's voice begging him not to, What would she say if she were here to see this? But that only reminded him that she wasn't here to see this, that she was dead, by this man's hand. "It's a pity Count, that you killed the one person who could have saved you." Anakin snarled. As Ahsoka's almost-voice vanished, he took off the Count's head.
Anakin woke, in a cold sweat and shaking, gasping for air. He was in his quarters on the Resolute. A small knock on his door that he recognized—through the Force—as his new Padawan brought him back to the present. "You okay Snips?" he asked sitting up and pulling on his robe. He opened the door to see his wide eyed Padawan, whose nightclothes were the exact same thing as her day ones.
"Am I okay?! Am I okay?! What do you mean am I okay?!" she demanded, "I thought you were dead or dying in there!!" she whisper-shouted. "Either you shout in your sleep, or you were just attacked by a bantha!" she stomped her foot angrily.
"I did?" Anakin rubbed his forehead, Ahsoka nodded vigorously. He heard footsteps down the hall—Rex.
"Sir, sorry sir." Rex replied in a crisp shout-whisper.
"What are you sorry for Rex? I'm the one who was shouting." Anakin wrinkled his brow, more than a bit confused.
"I forgot to warn the Commander and give her earplugs sir." The young Jedi knight froze,
"You mean I've done that before?" he questioned.
"Almost every night sir, you can hear it throughout the whole ship sir." Anakin's face turned red.
"Mind if I ask, why I was never told this before?"
"Uh, well sir, we didn't think it was necessary to tell you before." Rex shrugged, and Ahsoka giggled.
"Well Master, this should be interesting." Snips giggled again, then smiled, a bit sadly, "Don't worry Master, you couldn't understand anything you said."
"Uh, thanks Ahsoka." Anakin rubbed his forehead, "Now get some sleep, I'll just be meditating."
"Sure Master." Snips skipped away, and Rex followed, as the two got further away, he could hear, "So earplugs huh? Let's go get'im! Or I won't ever get a good night's sleep again…"
It was her words, "Let's go get'im!" that brought the dream flooding back, he'd had it before, starting the night he'd become a knight. He could never remember the name of the Sith Lord, he really only remembered that his Padawan died by Dooku's hand, and that he hadn't been there. But now he remembered something a bit more potent—he remembered why he hadn't wanted a Padawan.