A/N: Happy Cullentines Day to all my loyal readers. Your love and support has encouraged me to come back to writing. I took each and every one of your messages to heart. I really do love you all. To my Twitter girls that keep me going, I'd like to say a huge thank you. If you're not one of my tweep-hearts, what are you waiting for? I'm not for the faint of heart, but I'm fun. It feels so good to be back. I am in the process of moving my stories to The Writer's Coffeeshop too. The link will be on my page soon. As you all know, there is a group of fucktards getting great stories pulled off of this site. I will stay, but am ready at the other site in case I get pulled.

This fic will be fluffier than my usual. Yes, there is loads of angst, cuz that's life, but there are two adorable kids, lots of laughs, and great friends in this fic. Each chapter will have an EPOV and a BPOV. Chapter names will be inspired by the quote that I post at the top. There will be lemons, bad language, cuddling, mild violence, and general cuteness as well as yummy treats. After this chapter, there wll be a recipe for something that Bella or one of the others makes in a chapter bcuz we could all use some cooking tips.

I feel like it's my first day of school. I'm all giddy. I'd like to thank my TrueLove/Beta/Pimp/Friend buffygal1987. She's in a whole other league. I love her long and hard. I'd also like to thank Robsenfan who keeps me up on Twilight news and is a whiz at Photoshop. Her Robsten pics inspire me. I also want to give a shout out to my Twitter sweethearts/cheerleaders. Edwardbabymama, Pearl421, and Giumacarini. Yeah, you're all probably thinking I'm like a rapper giving out shout outs, but these peeps hold me down.

Recs: (All are in my favorites for the lazy bitches, LOL)-Go read, love, and REVIEW

"Dick for Hire" by flplmtrees95-Private Investigators E&B, plus hot sex. Sold!

"Daniel Gale:Cumming to America" by danielgaleh00rs-He's my babydaddy. I have pics of our kid if you want to see. Oh and he gets lots of boners, LOL

"Gloaming" by readingmama-She's just all kinds of awesome. I bow down to her originality

"The Good and the Bad" by chartwilightmom-I heart her big and covet her RL hubby. He's seriously hot. Oh and her Prudeward is awesome too.

"School of Seduction" by chelletwi83-Lots of rich kids, teacherward, and drama. I will post her TWC link on my Profile soon, or you can go look for yourself.

"Storm Warning" by Little-BellS2-You should have your ass kicked if you're missing Assward and the mystery. Better than a fucking game of Clue.

I'm done for now. I love you all so much. You encourage me to pursue my passion. Fuck the haterz. Twifanfic will never be broken.

Yes, I'm still writing my other fics. Mobward and Fedward should be up sometime later today. Leave me reviews and love. I will shoot you all with an arrow and lick you, or I'll just let Robward do it.

CHAPTER 1: Life as the Onion

Life is like an onion; you peel off one layer at a time and sometimes you weep.

Carl Sandburg

"Push, Bella!" Tanya screamed in her annoying as hell Southern accent. I knew how to have a goddamn baby. I'd had two other ones before this.

I gave her my best 'fuck you bitch' look and continued to push. Either this kid was going to be born at full size or I was fucking rusty. I didn't remember having this much trouble pushing out my sweet girl, Charlotte.

My baby girl was only four years old, but I could already tell that she was a whole hell of a lot smarter than me. Just the other day, she'd told me that boys were icky and that she loved school. That was enough to warm any mother's heart.

I wish I had been that smart then. Hell, I wish I was that smart now. Maybe then I wouldn't be a newly single wife having a baby on the same day that my husband ran out on me.

Husband was really a loose word for what that motherfucker was, though. All he ever did was poach off of me, get us evicted several times, and cheat on my ass. Yet, like a complete dumbass, I stayed with him. I fooled myself into believing that I loved the asshole.

His name was Felix. The name should have been my first sign that complete fuckery was about to ensue. I mean, Felix, like in the old Felix the Cat cartoons. My husband was just as sneaky as that damn cat. He also had nine goddamn lives, and they were all used to fuck up mine.

I couldn't even remember how many times we'd been chased out of town by some lowlife gangster or gambler that he owed money to. He had cost me several a decent job, and because of him, my job history was spotty.

I was going to leave him when I found out that I was pregnant with Charlotte. Ther was no way in hell I was bringing my baby girl into our shit. By some stroke of luck, Felix managed to talk me into staying with hm.

He spouted those bullshit lines that promised changes and an end to bullshit. As all men do, he kept his promises for a few weeks. After that, he was back to his same old fuckery. Charlotte was only a few months old, and I didn't want to work outside of the home, so I stayed. We were in Minneapolis then. My husband, and again that term is used loosely, decided that he was going to become a card shark. The only problem was that he sucked at gambling. He managed to blow away both his and my small savings in a matter of months.

When a local well-know Gangster threatened to hurt me and Charlotte, Felix got us out of there. Nine years of marriage and that was the only time that he'd ever put me first. I could have cared less if the thug hurt Felix at that point, but I would be damned if he touched a hair on my baby girl's head.

We ended up moving back here, to Phoenix, where we started. It was hot as hell and there were scorpions in the summer, but we had a house, and the neighborhood was kid- friendly and safe.

Felix had even somehow managed to get a job at All State as an insurance salesman. For the first time, I had money to go grocery shopping and treat my baby girl to nice things. I was never one for fancy shoes or clothes, but I figured that Charlotte should have the best. I thought everything was finally looking up for my little family. Boy was I wrong.

Things started going downhill when Charlotte was two. I got pregnant. Felix was not happy. He accused me of cheating until he found out it was going to be a boy. Then, he puffed out his chest and strutted around the city handing out cigars. It always hurt me that he pretty much ignored his daughter, but I was in no position to leave him.

Well, long story short, I lost the baby. He was stillborn. I cried for months and fell into a deep depression. The only thing that kept me going was my baby girl. She was my light in those dark days.

Felix blamed me, saying that I didn't take care of myself and blah, blah, blah. As if I didn't feel guilty enough. The doctors assured us both that I had done nothing wrong. The baby had been deprived of oxygen too long. It couldn't have been helped. To this very day, I still blame myself.

Felix and I began to fight all the time. He turned to alcohol to ease his pain. We fought verbally and sometimes physically. Felix was always careful not to hit me. Instead, he'd grab my arms or shove me against a wall. We both knew that one hit from his meaty fists would leave me with permanent damage.

My 'husband' was six foot-seven and pretty much all muscle. I, on the other hand, was only five-three and all curves. He'd had the nerve to call me a fat ass more than once. I would get in his face, and the shit would hit the fan.

I knew that our arguments were not good for Charlotte. I would always put her in her room and turn up her lullaby's before we started, but more than once, she'd snuck downstairs to make sure we were okay. I felt like a horrible mother.

"You have to push, Ms. Swan," the doctor between my legs commanded me.

Up until then, I had almost forgotten about the seven pound person making its way through my small vaginal opening. Thanks a fucking lot, doc, I thought bitterly. I pushed for everyone's sake and was rewarded with lots of 'very goods' by all involved. I felt like a prize cow.

Tanya kissed my forehead, causing me to regret my earlier yelling. We'd met when I started waitressing at a local truck stop greasy spoon. Felix had cut off all money, except for the necessities, so I went to work so that I could provide more for my baby girl.

At first I thought Tanya was going to be a bitch. Her aunt was the owner of the diner and I just knew that she was going to hate me. Boy was I surprised on that first day when she took a rude customer off of my hands. We'd been besties every since.

She was my total opposite. She was tall, strawberry blonde, and thin. I was short, curvy, and had dark hair and eyes. Many a male customer had tried to talk T into some after work sex, but she declined. She was a picky girl.

One month, my life was going even worse than usual. Tanya saw me crying out back behind the diner and asked me what was wrong. I told her about how Felix had taken my bank card and used it. That meant, I didn't have enough money for Charlotte's daycare.

T had called him every foul name in the book. She then gave me the lecture about how I could do soooo much better. She offered to pay for the daycare herself, but I declined. I was a trainwreck, but I didn't take handouts.

Tanya ended up asking her Aunt to let me bring Charlotte to work. They even set up a small room for my baby girl in the back. I loved having her close to me. Being a mother, was the only worthwhile thing I'd ever with my life.

When I found out I was pregnant again, I was shocked. Felix and I rarely had sex anymore and even then, I'd been careful, but apparently not careful enough. He took the news with an air of indifference. I didn't see him again until two weeks later.

This pregnancy had been difficult. Me and the baby were both healthy, but Felix constantly made fun of me and put me down. Plus, I was tired all the damn time and still had to take care of my baby girl.

I consoled my pain by believing that even though my 'husband' was absent and surly, at least he paid the mortgage and other bills. Or at least I thought he did. It turned out that 'hubby' was using loans, some in my name, and credit cards to supply our way of life. He'd quit the insurance company two months after we came here.

I never had a clue until a Repo man came to pick up my car at work. If it hadn't been for Tanya lending me one of her older cars, Char and I wouldn't have been able to go anywhere. Not that Felix gave a fuck.

I knew that I should have been stronger in life. I should never have gotten on the back of Felix's bike. I should have never let him talk me into getting married at eighteen. And I sure as shit should have never used my meager college savings to send him to auto mechanics school, which he dropped out of in three weeks.

So, yeah, I'd made a lot of huge mistakes in life, but it wasn't over yet. I still had good health, a few friends, and my babies. It may not have been the life I dreamed for myself, but it was mine.

I gave one final hard push and was rewarded with my the sound of crying. My precious baby was alive and well. Tanya held my hand tight as I weeped tears of pure joy.

The OBGYN turned to me and smiled. I could have sworn that her eyes were a little misty. "Ms. Swan, you are now the mother of a bouncing baby boy. He is perfectly healthy and weighs in at 8 pounds and five ounces."

Eight fucking pounds! No wonder I looked like a house the last few months. Charlotte had only been five pounds at birth.

The doctor placed my bundle in my arms, and just like that, I was in love yet again.

He had my brown eyes and his dad's sandy brown hair. "Hello, baby Peter, I'm your Mama. I promise to keep you safe forever. You have a big sister that is dying to meet you."

I beckoned T to come closer. She had a look of complete awe on her face. I looked down at my son. "This is your Aunt T. You better do what she says because she's second in command."

Tanya wiped some stray tears from her eyes. "Hello, Peter sweetheart. Don't listen to your mommy. You already have me wrapped around your tiny little fingers."

I smiled softly as she cooed and nuzzled my baby boy. His dad should have been the one doing that, but he was off in Vegas gambling all our money away. I hated his fucking guts. He could hurt me all he wanted to, but these were his kids. I didn't make them alone.

When they came to take my baby boy away, I asked T to call Felix and let him know that he had a son. Surprisingly, he answered. He was all proud papa, like he'd done shit, and promised to come home and make it up to me. I was so exhausted that I just agreed with whatever he said.

Tanya was a saint for keeping her mouth shut after the phone call. One word from her on how pathetic I was, and I was liable to cry for days. We chatted for a while until I started to feel sleepy. I asked Tanya to put the TV on. There was breaking news.

A blonde, neatly coiffed reporter was standing in front of a police station in what looked like California.

"We, at channel five, have just gotten word that famed bestselling author and Hollywood screenwriter, Edward Cullen, has been arrested and charged with involuntary manslaughter stemming from an overnight traffic incident that killed a family of four. His wife, model and actress, Kate Cullen, is also among the dead. We will continue to keep you updated as the details come in."

The camera switched to a picture of a gorgeous bronze-haired man and a beautiful blonde taking their wedding vows. I, like most Americans, had heard of Edward and Kate Cullen. They were regulars in the entertainment news. Their fights were as legendary as their work.

Tanya shook her had and looked over at me. "See, Bella, someone is having a far shittier life than you. I'm going to head out so you can get some rest. I'll bring Charlotte by in the morning so she can meet her baby brother. Call me or Aunt Carmen if you need anything," she said, flipping the light off and kissing me on the cheek.

I closed my eyes and before I knew it, I was in a deep sleep.


"You've had enough, Kate," I said, taking the bag of cocaine from my wife.

She slapped my hand away and went for it again. I let her because I was so fucking tired of all our bullshit. If she wanted to kill herself then she could be my guest. She'd probably get a kick out of being one of the Hollywood elite to die young. She had once told me that it was the new 'it' thing to do.

She rubbed my cock and made a sour face. "You're no fun anymore, Edward. You just want to get high alone lately. We used to have so much fun."

I grabbed the coke from her, put some on her compact, and snorted up two lines. She clapped her hands and kissed me on the cheek. Yeah, we were fucked up. This could actually be construed as a tame night for us.

We took turns going back and forth, finishing off the coke. It was pure and that was shit that was hard to come by nowadays. Kate licked up the last remnants as I went to get our coats. We were in a private room of Lushaholics, L.A.'s newest night club. It was the place to be seen and get high.

I was pretty fucked up and seeing double by this point. I'd finished off a whole bottle of gin by myself and Kate was just as bad. I'd watched her smoke a rock earlier. She usually didn't do crack, but she had been in a rush, and it was all that was available.

To most people, we were known as Hollywood royalty. We looked good, graced magazines, got our movies made, and had an endless supply of money. We also fought like two caged animals, so the paparazzi were fond of following us around.

I went back to our private room, tipped the guy who came to clean up our mess, and put Kate in the car. She was singing a song from her new musical that opened up on Broadway next month. I had chosen to stay in L.A. while she would be in New York. We needed the time apart.

When we got in the car, Kate took out a bottle of painkillers and down half of them.

"Slow the fuck down, Kate!" I yelled.

She giggled and handed me a pill. I shook my hand. "Suit yourself," she said, opening some water.

I was pretty worried about Kate's heavy drug use as of late, but being an addict myself, I was in no position to go all holier than thou on her.

When we got to a traffic light, Kate grabbed my hand and put it on her belly. "Can you feel it, Edward. I'm pregnant."

I swerved the Ferrari so fast that I almost killed us. "What the hell are you talking about, Kate?" This could not be happening.

She reached into her bag and pulled out a picture. Looking closely, I saw that it was a sonogram. A baby?

"You're going to be a daddy," she sang loudly.

This was serious. We both had sex with other people, but I was pretty sure that Kate would know who the father of her child was. I stared at the picture. I was in no condition to be a father. Who was going to give the kids the old 'say no to drugs' speech? Definitely not me and Kate.

Suddenly, I was pissed off that she knew that she was pregnant and had sat and snorted almost a whole fucking bag of coke. Did she want to kill our child? I may not have been thrilled with the prospect of being a father, but I took care of my responsibilities.

I glanced over at her. She did look fuller. "Kate, your ass is going to rehab first thing in the morning. Forget New York. You can do Broadway later."

She threw her water bottle at my head. Did I mention I was still driving? Yeah, that's pretty much our relationship.

I was too fucked up to drive, so I pulled over to a nearby park in a gated community. One of my producer friends lived nearby so the on duty guard knew us. He smiled as he let us into the neighborhood.

Since we were in the suburbs, I figured we'd be safe. Hell, fucking cops were still out patrolling. Just one more perk of being filthy-ass rich.

I reached into my jacket pocket and pulled out a joint. I had taken so many fucking drugs that smoking weed was the equivalent of a cigarette for me. Kate immediately reached her hand out, asking for a hit. I shook my head no and continued to smoke.

Eventually, she got tired of pouting and put on her music. We were both high as a kite. I watched as her tiny dress slipped down, exposing her nipple. My cock didn't even flinch. Kate was considered one of the most beautiful women in the world, but to me she was just my bitchy wife.

I made sure I smoked all of my joint, so that Kate wouldn't take it. Then, I passed out.

When I woke up, my nightmare began. An ambulance worker pulled me from the vehicle. I looked down at myself, noticing that there was blood everywhere. It was then that I took in the scene. At that moment, I actually wished for blindness.

My car was smashed against a minivan that was smashed against a tree. Immediately, I knew that there were kids involved. I could see the Winnie the Pooh window thing from where I stood.

I was numb as the EMT checked me over and declared me fine except for some nasty bruises and cracked ribs. Something wasn't right. How in the hell had we gotten into an accident?

I asked where Kate was and the EMT went to get someone. He came back with two police officers. They were looking at me like two cats with a defenseless juicy mouse. I winced and stood up to my full height.

Douchebag number one glared at me. "Mr. Cullen, I am Officer Reed and this," he nodded to the other guy, "is Officer Moore. Do you remember what happened?"

I shook my head. "I, uh, had too much to drink. My wife, Kate, and I passed out in our car in the park. What the fuck is going on here? Where is Kate?"

The officers exchanged a look that let me know they thought I was bulshitting them. "Mr. Cullen, we are going to have to ask you to come down to the station with us," Douchebag number two said, grabbing my arm.

I shrugged him off. "I'm not going any goddamn place until you motherfucking pigs tell me where my wife is!" Several people on the scene turned to stare.

Douchebag one pulled out his handcuffs. "Edward Cullen, you are under arrest for DUI, DWI, and involuntary manslaughter…" Manslaughter? That meant that someone was dead.

I turned away from the cops and vomited all over my expensive leather shoes. "Who…who died?" I whispered.

Douchebag one rocked back on his heels and scowled at me. "It's your wife, Kate... She's gone. You also killed an innocent family of four. I hope that goddamn high was worth it, because you will be paying for this for a long time to come."

I didn't put up a fight as the Officers handcuffed me, because really, what the fuck did I have to live for anymore? For the first time since I was a boy, I felt like weeping-hard and for a long fucking time.

My wife and unborn child were dead, and I'd killed them.

Drama! Where in the hell is the fluff, Bianca? I know, it's coming. Hold your horses. The story will skip forward next chapter. The majority of it will be set in Forks and Port Angeles. Leave me love. Also tell me what we should nickname this Edward. I hope you like the new fic. I promise lots of fluff. Peter and Charlotte are going to be totes cute. Reviews get you Cullentine Day rubdowns from your favorite Edward.