Title: Never Say Never
Spoilers: Up through 03x15 - The Large Hadron Collision, just to be safe
Rating/Warnings: R
Word Count: 1515
Disclaimer: I don't own the characters of The Big Bang Theory. I am just borrowing them for my own enjoyment.
Notes/Summary: Originally from comment_fic, but updated. Prompt: sex, drugs, rock 'n' roll. Request: Big Bang Theory, Penny/Sheldon, "Never have I ever..." Setting wise, somewhere in Season 3 and Penny is unattached.

Never having done comment_fic before, I was a little confused about the "rules". I didn't know if I was supposed to work in sex, drugs, and rock 'n' roll. The requester said only the request really needed to be addressed, but I went ahead and tried to do all three. :)


"Sheldon," Penny admonishes. "Come on. Live a little."

"Penny, that saying is preposterous, one can neither live 'a little' nor live 'a lot'. We simply live."

She glares which, of course, has no effect.

"I'll drive you to the comic book store whenever you want for two weeks."

He perks up, then eyes her suspiciously. "But I don't drink, Penny."

She rolls her eyes. "This is just pretend, Sheldon. You can drink virgin Cuba Libres."

She surreptitiously puts a hand behind her back and crosses her fingers.

"Sheldon, please? It'll be fun, I promise."

"I highly doubt it," he grumbles.


He gives her a sidelong glance. "A month."

She blinks. "Deal."

She springs up from the couch and sprints to the kitchen to mix up their drinks, all the while explaining the rules of the drinking game "Never have I ever." And if she accidentally whores up his virgin diet Cuba Libre just that little bit...

"Here you go," she says, handing him his glass.

"I still don't understand why you want to engage in this inane activity, Penny. The whole point, as you've described it, is to become inebriated."

"The other point, Sheldon, is to learn about other people."

"This seems like an inefficient way to get to know someone," he complains.

"It's way more fun than just chatting. I'll start," she smiles sweetly.

Penny purses her lips and looks up at the ceiling, thinking.

"Never have I ever...written a paper about string theory."

"Penny. It's what I *do*. I hardly think that's fair or in any way informative."

"Drink up, moonpie."

Sheldon glares at her but obliges. "I believe I also lose a point and am now at 9."

"See? I knew you'd get the hang of it, Sheldon! Your turn."

He ponders for a moment. "Never have I ever...slipped in the shower due to the ill-advised lack of adhesive whimsical ducks or other similarly themed items whose sole purpose is to prevent slipping in the shower."

She blinks. "Sheldon, that's way too specific."

"You never said it was prohibited."

Penny opens her mouth to speak and then realizes she can't win this one. "Fine." She takes a big gulp of her drink. "Now I'm at 9, too."

She retorts with, "Never have I ever missed sleeping due to being stuck on a physics problem."

He counters with, "Never have I ever sung, loudly and horribly off key, Def Leppard in the shower."

8 and 8.

It takes a few rounds of not-so-interesting "nevers", and a couple refills, before the alcohol kicks in. At least for Sheldon.

"Never have I ever slept with Leonard Hofstadter," he says. "Well, that's not strictly true. Let me rephrase. Never have I ever engaged in coitus with Leonard Hofstadter."

"Wait, what?" Penny asks. "Back up. You've slept with Leonard?"

"Technically speaking, yes."

"When was this?"

Sheldon hedges. "I was sworn never to speak of it."

"Oh, come on, Sheldon! You can't leave a girl hanging like that!" she scoots closer on the couch.

"I will only say it was during our wasted Arctic expedition," he bites out.

"You're still mad about that, aren't you?"

He says nothing, which speaks volumes.

"Oh, honey," she says and places a hand on his knee. He doesn't flinch.

"Your turn."

"What?" she asks. "Oh. Um, I guess I'm down to 5."

She takes another drink and starts to feel buzzed. For some unknown reason, the term "big ol' five" echoes in her brain. She tries to shake it off.

"Umm. Never have I ever betrayed a friend's dream."

He looks at her, a small frown on his face. "Penny, I can't say I've done that."

"I know," she shrugs. "I just...wanted you to know."

He stares at her for a long moment. "I see." And he takes a drink anyway.

"Sheldon, you weren't supposed to drink."

He looks down at his glass, speaks to it, "It seemed appropriate. You said the other part of the game was to learn about each other."

She leaves it alone. "Okay."

He's still quiet, but she is loathe to disturb him. "Never have I ever," he begins, "been bullied by less than a dozen individuals, some related to me, during my formative years."

She tears up immediately. She knows he hadn't had the easiest life, growing up, but to hear him speak of it somehow makes it worse.


He's not looking at her, twisting his glass in his hands.

"I can't claim that, but..." She takes a big drink, puts her glass down, and leans over and hugs him.


"Just go with it, Sheldon."



She keeps her arms wrapped around him, her head on his shoulder. She expects him to fight her or fidget, but, after he sets his own drink down, he just sits there and lets her hug him. He's warm and comforting and she finds she doesn't want to let him go. The silence stretches on and they both ponder their latest revelations.

"Penny, this isn't really fun anymore, is it?"

"No, Sheldon, not really. I'm sorry."

They're quiet for several more moments and she's utterly surprised when she feels one of his arms lay across her back.


"Yes, Sheldon?"

"I don't think those virgin diet Cuba Libres were very virgin."

She giggles softly and tightens her arms around his neck. "No, they weren't, Sheldon. I'm sorry. Again."

"It's still your turn," Sheldon says, voice quiet. She smiles as she feels it reverberate through his body.

Penny looks up at him and is surprised he's so close. Her eyes roam across his face and she thinks, not for the first time, that Sheldon is actually pretty cute. He's looking at her with curiosity in his eyes and hers keep drifting to his lips, which seem to be pouting ever so slightly.

She leans against him more and his other hand lands on her hip so she doesn't fall over.

"Never have I ever wanted to kiss you more than I want to right now."

His eyes widen, but he doesn't move away.

She waits, but says nothing.


She looks at him in earnest, smiling hopefully.

"If circumstances were different..."

Her smile falters and she starts to pull away. She stops when his arms tighten around her.

"If circumstances were different, my reply would be to take a drink. But at the moment, I can't deny--"

She crushes her lips against his and silences him. She expects him to push back but is pleasantly surprised when, after only a brief pause, he's kissing her back. Really kissing her back. Really well. He is amazingly adept at kissing and she gasps in his mouth when she feels his tongue run across her lower lip. She may be the big ol' five but he's not being particularly shy at the moment. She'd chalk it up to the not-so-virgin Cuba Libres if her brain was functioning. Since it wasn't, she didn't really care.

Sheldon is nothing if not completely thorough and extremely observant. The way his tongue caresses her as they kiss makes Penny's toes curl and her body flush with heat. The way his hands roam across her body, loving and tender, sensual without seeming lewd, arouses her beyond belief. She thinks she could spend a lifetime kissing and touching him and not get tired of it because, you see, Sheldon is also an insanely fast learner. He's figured out just how to touch and kiss her, just how much pressure to use when and where such that she always wants more. He's figured out, in just a few short minutes, what nearly all of her past boyfriends never figured out, or took way too long to figure out. She's practically shaking with need as they pull apart a million years later.

She's straddling his lap by then, an arm under his shirts. He's hard, under her, and his hands are firmly on her ass, holding her close, moving slowly against her.

"Never," she gasps, "have I ever wanted to get you out of these stupid shirts--"

He's kissing her neck then and she loses her train of thought.

"What was I saying?"

He makes a noise like a grunt and she gives up on it, choosing, instead, to pull his shirts off. And then his pants.

The game is clearly abandoned, but they can't seem to stop the words from coming out of their mouths every moment their lips aren't on each other.

"Never have I ever thought your skin would be so soft," he groans as his hand slips between her thighs, stroking the skin before moving up and under her panties.

"Never have I ever wanted you in--oh..."

An eternity later, they lay in a tangle of arms and legs on her too small couch. He's curled around her, his frame too long, and she's trying desperately to get her breath to slow lest her heart beat right out of her chest.

"Never have I ever had sex that great," she manages.

"Hmm," Sheldon ponders. "While I agree with the sentiment, I'm confused. Should I drink to that or not?"