Title: The Mojito Reaction
Author: g_girl143 / gwendy
Spoilers: A LOT! All of Season 3 to be safe, even un-aired episodes 17-19
Disclaimer: I do not own the characters or the series and am not making any money out of this despite putting my sweat and blood into it. So save me the lawsuits and just allow a beggar to indulge in fantasies. Thank you.
A/N: I'm going back to writing episode-like fanfics, and this is a possible ending for Season 3. However, I HONESTLY DO NOT WANT THINGS TO HAPPEN THIS WAY…but with the way the show's going, I figured this is a possibility. Plus, it'll classically sitcom-my. This has been done a few times in fanfic fandom, so it's really nothing new, but I hope you enjoy it nonetheless.
FYI Think of this as maybe the last few minutes of the episode.
P.S. Forgive me. I haven't written anything substantial since "The Cooper Libido Experiment" so I'm extremely rusty.
"Oh, balls!" Penny growled when she heard the triple knocks with alternate calls for her name. She set down the bottle of Mojito Tequila and glared at the closed door, wishing she had laser heat vision so she could blow a hole through Sheldon Cooper's head. "Leave me alone, Sheldon."
"Much as I would gladly do so, Penny, social protocol unfortunately dictates that I not leave you alone."
"God, this day can't get any worse." Penny downed one more shot before dragging herself to the door and opening it with force. As always, Sheldon was standing in the doorway in his usual comic book shirt and thermals, his face scrunching when she swayed a bit closer. "What?"
"You've been drinking."
"Nice observation, Dr. Cooper."
"What do you think?"
Sheldon glared at her, and she glared back. She'd gotten as far as half a minute before her head began to loll, forcing her to lean against the open door. "What do you want, Sheldon?"
"I'm here to offer you emotional support," Sheldon said as-a-matter-of-factly. "I told you once that your fight with Leonard should in no way affect our friendship, and neither should the ugly end of your relationship with him…which, as I've told both of you countless times, was inevitable."
Penny groaned. "If you came here to cheer me up, you're doing a helluva job at it. And yes, that was sarcasm," she quickly added when Sheldon tried to speak. "Now could you please leave me alone?"
"I'm afraid I can't do that." Sheldon harrumphed, and presented a brown paper bag. Penny didn't have to look in to know it was the same brand of chocolate ice cream he had bought her when she and Leonard had THE fight. "I bought you ice cream. In times of stress, it's preferable to consume this as opposed to alcohol, which is a depressant and will leave you feeling more miserable afterwards."
Penny quietly took the paper bag with one hand and stared at Sheldon with furrowed brows. He was swinging with the balls of his feet, obviously waiting for the moment she would let him enter. She could almost hear him saying something about food offerings as invitations to come in and chat.
Penny punished him with about a minute of silence before speaking again. "Sheldon, you got me ice cream last time to get me to join your bowling team. What are you getting from this now?"
Sheldon's expression registered annoyance. "I admit, I did have ulterior motives at that time, but for your information, it was also coupled with a most sincere offer of a shoulder to cry on. I've been given to understand that it's a best friend's obligation to do so especially in times of adversity, though like last time, I will offer mine only in a metaphorical sense."
"If that's the case, why didn't you go with Leonard and the guys in Vegas?"
"Penny, I would've thought it was obvious to you by now." Sheldon released an irritated sigh. "You're my best friend. Not Leonard. He hasn't been my best friend since…since the arctic incident."
Penny blinked and stared at Sheldon. No one had mentioned Leonard's betrayal after he'd come back from Texas with Sheldon, though Penny knew Sheldon would never have forgotten something like that. What surprised her though, was his sudden declaration of her new status in his social circle, though the more she thought about what had happened in the last several months, the more she realized it made sense.
She stepped back and gestured for him to come in. He did so with a look of derision at her unkempt apartment, and she closed the door before tossing the brown paper bag on an arm chair (much to Sheldon's obvious dismay) and flopping back down on her sofa. "Drink with me."
"Oh, Penny, you know what happened the last time you got me drunk," Sheldon reminded heatedly, his ears turning pink. Penny grinned when she saw it, and began filling a shot glass.
"Don't worry." She filled the shot glass to the brim and handed it to him. "If you're gonna start mooning people tonight, I'll be the only one to see it."
"That's hardly any comfort. And no, I'm not going to drink." Sheldon shook his head, and pointed to the paper bag on the arm chair. "As I've told you before, we have a better alternative in ice cream. Why, I can state a number of benefits with sweets as a way to alleviate stress—"
"Sheldon, I want to be miserable and as my best friend, it is your duty to be miserable with me." Penny thrust the glass in Sheldon's hand. When he still refused to take it, she said, "If you're not gonna drink, you're going to have to offer your shoulder for me to cry on. Literally. I have a whole reservoir of tears and snot just waiting to be soaked in that Red Lantern shirt of yours."
Sheldon sat beside her and downed a shot.
Las Vegas, Nevada…
"Hey, Raj. Where's Howard?"
"Still in his room, hand-cuffing himself to the bed post so he won't be tempted to go out with us and party." Raj shrugged and straightened his collar. He and Leonard wore practically the same thing they did the last time they went to Vegas, only this time, it was Leonard in need of renormalization. "You got to give it to him for trying to support you while staying loyal to Bernadette."
"Yeah, well, handcuffs and bedposts aren't going to help him much in that department," Leonard muttered, and then sighed. "I wonder what Penny's doing right now."
"She's probably alone in her apartment, drowning her sorrows in alcohol," Raj answered, and gave Leonard a pat in the back as they headed for the hotel elevators. "After all, you are quite a catch."
"Yeah. I guess I am, aren't I?" Leonard grinned. "Thanks Raj. That was a bit weird with your eyebrow waggle, but I appreciate it."
"What's wrong with a little encouraging eyebrow waggle?"
"Seriously, Raj. Stop it."
"Fine," Raj threw his hands up in the air before reaching for the elevator button. "You should be thankful I'm here instead of Sheldon."
"Huh." Leonard let out a breath as he and Raj entered the elevator. "I wonder what he's doing."
"Why wonder about him? We all know the man's routines and schedules. He can't function outside of it. He's probably alone in your apartment right now, annoying Siam Palace with demands of reducing his usual orders."
Penny's apartment remained in the same unchanged state of chaos. Magazines were left open on tables and counters, even on the floor. Unwashed bowls piled up on the sink while full and empty cereal boxes remained haphazardly arranged atop the refrigerator, which was festooned with pictures and magnets.
With closer inspection, however, come a few notable changes. The brown paper bag, which still sat on the arm chair, had since had its structural integrity compromised by the condensation of the now melted ice cream within it. A bottle of Mojito Tequila stood empty on the coffee table beside two shot glasses and several slices of chewed up lemon lime. Along the floor leading to the bedroom were Penny's discarded clothes, and along side it, a neatly folded t-shirt, long-sleeved thermals, pants, and socks, which were properly tucked into a pair of shoes parked neatly at the bottom of the bed.
And on the bed, lay Penny and Sheldon, their hair disheveled, their skin damp, their wide eyes on the ceiling, their hands curled into fists on the blanket drawn up to their heaving chests.
"Wow," Sheldon croaked.
"Yeah." Penny nodded. "Wow."
Sheldon swallowed. "So…that's what it's like."
"Yeah." Penny nodded again, still unable to catch her breath, still unable to believe what just happened. And still unable to look at Sheldon. The shock was that great. "Next time you tell me you're IQ is beyond today's standards, I'm gonna believe you."
"But it is beyond today's standards," Sheldon argued without looking at her, though his breathless tone made Penny let the comment pass. "And I suppose my knowledge has increased after…after this."
Penny responded with a nervous laugh and tightened her fingers on the blanket when Sheldon shifted ever so slightly.
"You know…" Sheldon licked his lips. "I promised my mother I would save myself for marriage." A pause. "She is going to kill me."
A/N: I hope you guys enjoyed that. I actually wrote this after being inspired with the latest spoiler pics for the March 22nd episode found here. I've always wanted to do this but hadn't found the time or the right inspiration, but now that I did, I'm gonna leave you all with one more bonus fanfic: A FANMADE TAPING REPORT OF THIS DREAM EPISODE!!! HAHAHA!!!
BONUS: Fanmade Fanfic Taping report
TAPING REPORT! OMFG SPOILERS!!! UNBELIEVABLE SPOILERS!!!
Big Bang Theory Season 3 Finale
Episode 25: The Mojito Reaction
OMG YOU GUYS! OMG! You are NOT going to believe this! I'm still flailing too much to give you a detailed report on everything that happened in this episode! I can't even think back if it was funny or not because what happened in the end was EPIC BEYOND EPIC PROPORTIONS!!!
Anyhoo, Penny and Leonard call it quits and Leonard's off to Vegas with Raj and Howard for a little renormalization. Sheldon of course, stays behind and away from the "Sodom and Gomorrah" of the United States as he says it. The episode's mostly about Howard trying to stay faithful to Bernadette with all the temptations in Vegas, which he succeeds in by the way. For Howard/Bernadette fans, great news coz Bernadette followed to Vegas AND they're dropping hints of Elvis Presley impersonators and rings!
But back to Sheldon and Penny. As usual, Penny ends up drinking, and this is after she got into a phone conversation with her mom and sister (not gonna tell you the actors who'll play them, teehee evil me!). Sheldon drops by, offers to give moral support to Penny and then tells her, at last, that SHE IS HIS BEST FRIEND, NOT LEONARD!!! Leonard hasn't been his best friend since the arctic thing! Penny let him in and forces him to drink Mojito or Golden Tequila with her. She says since he's her best friend, he basically has to be miserable with her, or she'll wipe her snot on his shirt or something. I can't recall because OMG SHELDON DRANK IT! Granted he was forced, but he drank it!
And you know what alcohol does to Sheldon.
Cut to, Leonard and Raj have this conversation. Leonard wonders what Penny is doing, and Raj tells him she's probably binge drinking or something. Then Leonard suddenly wonders about Sheldon. Raj said something but again I can't remember, because the next, the final epic scene…just totally BLEW MY MIND AWAY!!!
We see Penny's apartment, still in disarray. Penny and Sheldon are nowhere to be found but then there's the empty bottle on the coffee table, some lime slices, and get this…
SHELDON'S CLOTHES, FOLDED NEATLY ON THE FLOOR LEADING TO PENNY'S BEDROOM…
AND PENNY AND SHELDON IN BED TOGETHER!!!!
You heard me right. You're not dreaming! SHELDON AND PENNY HAD SEX!!!
The crowd went wild, I tell you! There was a lotta laughter, cheers and gasps, but the cheers really we're just so loud! It was even louder than from the Stan Lee episode!
If you're hoping to see some action, you're gonna be disappointed because Sheldon and Penny already done the deed (But that's what matters, right?) They talk a bit, with Penny hinting she found it mind blowing while Sheldon…well, I've spoiled you guys enough. I'll leave you all eagerly anticipating Sheldon's punch line and it was a real gut buster!
WHEW! I think I need to put on a straight jacket. I've been flailing nonstop since coming home from the report. BUT OMG PENNY AND SHELDON FINALLY HOOKED UP!
OMG! IS IT SEASON 4 YET?!
PS: You might wanna check this out too: http : // g_girl143 . livejournal . com / 10081 . html (just remove the spaces in between)