Here it is, the last outtake. I promised the Fandom Gives Back team Edward's version of everything we'd seen up to that point, and when the auction took place last year, chapter 8 had just been posted. It grew into even more than I'd expected. I thought I'd do snippets here and there, and as you all have seen, ended up pretty much rewriting the chapters. So here we are, over 25,000 words later. I know quite a few have asked about the rest of the story, but at this time I have no plans to continue. This story, if you count those initial planning stages, has been in my head for two years. Who knows, maybe once I've stepped away and taken a break I might find the motivation, but I'm not making any promises.

But thank you to the team for your generous donation and giving me the opportunity to share details that I never thought I'd ever get to share unless someone peeked at my notes or sat me down to pick my brain.

And I've said it a hundred times already, but thank you to Natty for getting this story off the ground and sticking with me, holding my hand, and pushing me to make it better. I don't want to think about what this would've looked like if I hadn't had you. We need a much bigger title than beta for what you did.

EPOV Chapter 8

The week that followed Felix's appearance, Edward struggled more than he ever thought he would as he tried to pick apart the details. Outwardly, he realized that this didn't make much of a difference over how everyone perceived him, something he found to be a huge benefit. Jasper was the one person privy to his inner torment but had fortunately kept commentary to a minimum.

On the rare occasions he had to escort Bella around campus, he was at a loss for words. He wanted to engage her, ask her questions with the hope that the answers would help him parse out the truth, but he had no idea where to begin. He still couldn't bring himself to trust her, and given the way they began, he knew that she had to feel the same about him.

So, instead, he kept to himself and wordlessly walked her to and from class.

Felix had kept his distance, though he was always around. He kept his thoughts guarded, and the little he allowed to slip proved useless to Edward.

By the end of the week, he was glad for the respite he'd been given when Emmett volunteered to take over guard duty all afternoon. Edward had spent a productive morning on the phone with their attorney, finalizing a contract for use of one of Emmett's new inventions.

As much as he hated to make the call, it was unavoidable, and after trying to think of any way around it, he sucked it up and called Emmett.

"Hey, you need to go downtown and sign that contract before five," he said after Emmett answered.

"Shit, five?" Emmett asked, sounding hesitant. "Can you—"

"Yeah, I'll be right over," Edward interrupted.

And so he found himself pacing outside of Bella's advisor's office twenty minutes later waiting for her to finish so they could head home.

When she finally appeared, she looked surprised then nervous as she offered an uncertain, "Hi."

"Um, Emmett had to run to a meeting." He wasn't sure why he felt the need to explain himself, why he almost felt bad to have caught her off guard. "So are you done here? Or do you still have more to do on campus?"

"No, I'm done here. We can leave unless there's something you need to do."

He shook his head, realizing too late that she hadn't seen him, and started walking. When they stepped outside, his stride faltered when he realized she wasn't moving. When he turned, she had her eyes closed, head thrown back to face the sun. It was such an unguarded moment that he couldn't help but take the opportunity to study her. The fleeting thought of all the ways things could have been different under other circumstances passed through his mind.

When she opened her eyes to see him watching her, she blushed and ducked her head, embarrassed. "Sorry. I didn't realize how much I took sunshine for granted when I lived in Florida."

"It's okay," he said, laughing lightly.

The mood between them had lightened considerably by that small interaction, and Edward thought he'd finally found the opportunity to carry on a legitimate conversation, to finally figure her out. As soon as he'd persuaded himself to take that step, reality came crashing down by the appearance of Felix hovering nearby.

It wasn't so much Felix's thoughts, but his presence that bothered Edward.

He noticed the change in Felix's casual demeanor first. He's been slouched back on a bench with a textbook open on his lap, but his eyes widened and he sat a little straighter a split second before his carefully guarded mind slipped.

"What in the hell is she doing?" he thought then quickly glanced around to see who might've noticed the exchange.

Watching it unravel through Felix's mind while looking back at Bella who was still waving with a goofy grin plastered on her face, Edward began to panic.

"You don't know me, you don't know me…fuck, just act like you don't know me," Felix chanted, and it seemed that all of Edward's suspicions had been confirmed. "Shit. We got lucky on Monday. Nobody noticed, they didn't put it together. How in the fuck am I going to sit here and watch you every day if people start to notice?"

Knowing better than to get into it here, he urged her forward with a hand at the small of her back. As soon as they were far enough away from others, he hissed, "What was that about?"

"What?" Bella asked. "Waving?"

He took offense to her feigned confusion and rolled his eyes as he ripped the driver's side door open and slid in. "Yes. Waving."

"I was tired of him making me feel like a zoo animal all week… I wanted him to feel just as uncomfortable. Let him know that I'm watching him, too."

He glanced over at her, his expression disbelieving.

"What?"

He shook his head. "Nothing."

She turned in her seat to face him. "No, that wasn't nothing. I'm not an idiot. You clearly have more to say." Knowing it wouldn't work but hoping today would be the exception, he tried to slip past her shield to get a peek at her thoughts which only served to annoy her. "And stop doing that."

"Then stop blocking me!" he yelled.

"You know I don't know how," she yelled back.

"No, I don't know that." He kept his eyes on the road, unable to look at her.

"What the hell are you talking about? Did we not already establish that I have no clue how I'm doing it?"

He'd driven so fast they made it back to the house in record time. After pulling up to the gate and entering all of the security information, he finally allowed the accusations he'd kept bottled up to spill out. "You say you have no clue, but it's pretty convenient, don't you think? That so far you've been able to master everything we've thrown at you… but this, this you somehow can't figure out. The one thing that we'd all find most useful you can't seem to do."

She was eerily silent, and when she finally spoke, the quiet tone didn't hide any of her anger. "Everything you guys have had me do has been a variation of something I've already done. This is like nothing I've ever experienced before. I've never had someone trying to get into my head… I've never had someone try to manipulate my emotions. I have absolutely no basis of comparison here and am starting from scratch. So stop treating me like I'm one of them."

He wavered for a bit, not sure if he should say what he wanted to, but in the heat of the moment all he wanted to do was hurt her. "For all I know, you are."

He heard her gasp in shock, her eyes turning glassy, as she fumbled with the door handle and walked into the house on unsteady legs. Knowing he'd taken it too far, he let his head drop onto the steering wheel.

Feeling claustrophobic, he got out of the car and slammed the door behind him then did the same to hers since she'd left it wide open after racing off toward the house.

In the living room he braced himself, but quickly realized that the way Alice was draped over Jasper as the two whispered to each other she had been too preoccupied to have seen what had just transpired.

"Where's Bella?" she asked.

"Um, I think she's upstairs," he answered, doing everything he could to avoid looking at her.

He chanced a quick glance out of the corner of his eye to see Alice watching him in confusion, her mind trying to figure out what she'd missed. But instead of hounding him for answers, she took off for Bella's room.

As soon as she was out of range, Jasper sat forward on the couch. "What's going on?"

Edward didn't answer, just shook his head as he stared at a spot on the floor in front of him. He could hear Jasper trying to make sense of his emotions, but he wasn't ready to talk.

The clock seemed to be against him. Emmett and Rosalie pulled up in front of the house just as Alice flew down the steps.

"I can't believe you," she yelled before she'd even stepped foot in the room. "Why in the hell would you say something like that?"

"Because it's the truth!" With everyone closing in on him, turning this into a major display, he felt the pressure building. Coupled with the anger that was growing, though he wasn't quite sure who it was directed to at this point, he snapped, letting defensiveness win. "We can't be sure about anybody. It's not my fault she took it personally."

"How else was I supposed to take it?" Bella asked, having appeared in the room a few seconds behind Alice.

"Are you kidding me?" Emmett's voice rang out above the others, sounding angrier than Edward had ever heard him. "One hour. That's all I needed was one hour, and you somehow managed to fuck it all up."

"I didn't—" Edward's words were cut off by Emmett pointing at him, eyes narrowed in warning.

"Don't."

"No, I think we need to have this out." It was Rosalie this time, and judging by her thoughts, Edward could tell she was relieved to finally have this opportunity. "We're putting our asses on the line for you, so I think you need to take a good hard look at this from our perspective."

He watched as Bella closed in on Rosalie, wondering how things had spiraled out of control so quickly.

"And how in the hell do you expect me to do that? You people dole out information in these tiny pieces that barely make sense. You tell me nothing of value—just the bare minimum if you tell me anything at all. So how am I supposed to look at it from your perspective when I don't know what your perspective is?

"What about my perspective? I'm expected to give up everything I know, I'm told just enough to keep me on edge wondering what it is that you're obviously withholding, and all the while I'm supposed to trust you implicitly and follow your directions because you've lived it already."

Edward's heart sped up, nervous at what was coming his way when she turned to glare at him. "So excuse me if I take it personally when I'm deliberately left in the dark and then told that I'm suspect… that I can't be trusted."

"That's not what I said," Edward said, not bothering to hide the irritation in his voice.

"It's exactly what you implied. You accused me of blocking you on purpose and insinuated it could be because I was working with them already."

Emmett groaned and sighed. "Christ, Edward… I thought you were past this conspiracy theory bullshit. Nothing has even remotely hinted at that being the case here."

He was just about to speak, to lay out all of the reasons why he had a right to be suspicious, when Rosalie spoke. "You know that we can't be too careful. So what if a few feelings get hurt? We have to keep ourselves safe."

"I seem to recall that it wasn't too long ago that we were making room for you in our group, Rosalie," Alice said.

"That was different."

"Why?" Alice asked with a laugh. "Because it was you? I honestly don't see a difference here from my perspective."

"It was different because they were different. They hadn't been so aggressive then… they hadn't come so close to any of us."

The situation was getting out of hand, and Edward hated knowing that he was the one who started it. It was bad enough that there was dissention in the group before, but he'd never anticipated that they would all turn on each other like this.

"Which is exactly why we needed to intervene," Jasper said as he stepped between Alice and Rosalie, holding his hands up to keep them apart. "Think about it, Rosalie. How would you feel in her place right now, not knowing anything about all of this and having no support system to deal with it?"

"No, she only wants to think about how it affects her, isn't that right? What kind of attention will it bring to you? What if they come after you? Lord knows all we've heard from the start is how it affects you. The only reason that you've gone along with anything so far is because you were outnumbered."

Even with Jasper acting as a human wall, the two girls continued to move closer to each other.

"Well somebody sure as hell has to think about the repercussions, because you were too busy flitting around trying to find your new best friend to remember that there was actual danger if we got involved."

"That's bullshit and you know it. There was 'actual danger' if we didn't get involved. Do you really think it would have been better to let her fend for herself? To let the Volturi manipulate her or force her to do their bidding? You said it yourself, they've come close... can you imagine what they could do with her working for them? You've seen what she's capable of… would you really prefer to work against her?"

Edward took an involuntary step backward when Alice turned to him with rage in her eyes. "And you! I know you've been through some terrible things, but you're way over the line. I thought you said you believed that she was truly uninformed in all of this? Monday, you said that Felix honestly had no clue who she was, and you just told me this morning that nothing you've heard him think all week has indicated that she's had any prior contact with the Volturi, so why would you throw that in her face the first opportunity you had?"

"Alice, you're not left completely in the dark like I am. Your ability still works on her, so don't criticize me for getting frustrated."

"Enough!" Bella yelled, startling him and silencing the room. "Just… enough."

She turned and left the room, failing to hide the oncoming breakdown. That was only the first piece to fall. His anger morphed into guilt so quickly that he couldn't pinpoint the precise moment the shift had occurred. Before he could beat himself up too badly over his actions, Alice stepped into his line of sight forcing him to look at her. Her mind replayed the scene earlier with Felix, the outsider's view bringing an entirely new perspective to the situation. While his attention had been focused on Felix, Alice's omniscience showed a frustrated Bella intent on annoying Felix for once. It was clear in Alice's thoughts that although she'd had the vision earlier in the day, it had stopped short of showing her what would transpire immediately following.

Her chin quivered and her eyes were glassy, and as much as her thoughts hurt him to hear, they didn't compare to the actual words she spoke.

"I've never been so ashamed of you."

He didn't respond—he couldn't—and even if words came to him, he knew she wouldn't listen. She held his gaze just long enough to make her point clear before she ran upstairs after Bella. Jasper didn't say anything, just shook his head in disapproval before he too headed to the second floor.

He could hear Emmett and Rosalie arguing, having somehow slipped out of the room without his notice. Though neither of them had taken a shot at him, they didn't need to. The knowledge that he was ultimately responsible for their fight was enough.

He fell heavily onto the couch, dropping his head into his hands as the day replayed in his mind. After the fallout it was easy to see where he'd been wrong, but worse was recalling the moments he knew that he'd behaved abhorrently but pushed forward anyway.

Morbid curiosity made him listen in on the conversation above through Alice and Jasper's thoughts. As he watched Bella fall apart, completely broken, and knowing it was all because of him, his stomach twisted in shame and regret. He'd convinced himself that he was justified in his actions, that he had a right to be defensive, but now that he was ready to be honest he saw himself as he really was—a bully. He'd been verbally and emotionally abusive toward her time and again, even after his suspicions had been proven unfounded.

"That's why I need to go," he heard Bella say and was gripped with panic at losing the opportunity to make things right.

"Wait—no!" Alice yelled, and Edward's heart broke at the desperation with which she tried to hang onto Bella to keep her from packing.

"This isn't working out, Alice. I already felt like a burden coming here… and to have that confirmed? You can't really expect me to stay."

It was as if someone was twisting a knife in his chest, but he knew he didn't deserve any kind of reprieve. He'd earned every ounce of what was coming back to him.

He continued to eavesdrop on the conversation, silently thanking Jasper for convincing Bella to stay the night. He knew he needed to apologize, and he had no idea how she would take it, but at least Jasper had bought him some time.

When Jasper offered her the bag of items he'd bought to help Bella work on her power, Edward allowed his mind to disconnect from the discussion going on in her room and instead focused on how to word his apology. Everything sounded so trite and insincere; he had no idea how he was going to convince her that he really was sorry.

A little while later Jasper entered the room and took a seat in the chair by the couch. He didn't say anything, but Edward could feel him staring, and the longer the silence stretched, the heavier the air in the room felt.

"What?" Edward said when he couldn't stand it any longer.

Jasper shrugged. "I didn't say anything."

"But you want to. I can tell by the way you're analyzing me."

Instead of responding, Jasper smirked and shrugged, not saying a word.

"I fucked up, I know."

"Oh I'm not going to argue you on that," Jasper said with a humorless laugh.

"I'm going to fix it."

"Good luck with that."

He picked his head up and glared at Jasper. "You don't think I can?"

Jasper laughed, clearly enjoying Edward's discomfort. "I didn't say that. But it's going to take a lot of work, and given your track record as of late, well…"

"Well, what?" Edward's aggravation was growing but after seeing how easily things spiraled when he let his temper get the best of him, in addition to a need to not prove Jasper right, he tried to keep it under control.

"Look, I get it," Jasper said. "We're all worried about what's going to happen to us, because it's inevitable that one day they'll be back with an even bigger plan. But you let it control you. You're a completely different person than you were a couple years ago, and not in a good way."

"I think I have a good reason for—" Edward started but was cut off by Jasper holding a hand up in the air.

"I never said you didn't have your reasons. I'm just saying you allowed it to turn you into someone none of us recognizes. When she came into the picture"—Jasper pointed at the ceiling to make sure Edward knew he was talking about Bella—"you got a hundred times worse. The fact that you're attracted to her hasn't helped at all. I've never seen someone take such personal offense to the idea that he finds a girl pretty."

Edward shifted uncomfortably. Although he knew that Jasper had read those emotions from him multiple times, having it verbalized was even more embarrassing. "Yeah, well, you felt the same thing from her," he mumbled, his only defense being that he wasn't alone in those feelings.

"When's the last time you picked that out of my head?" Jasper kept his thoughts carefully guarded following his question.

"What do you mean?" Edward asked, not sure what he was getting at and somehow knowing he was being set up.

Jasper was smug and spoke slowly. "When was the last time I got a reading from her emotions that she was attracted to you?"

Edward still didn't answer, and an awkward stretch ensued where he refused to give the wrong answer and hoped Jasper would just get to the point.

"That first day?" Jasper said. "Ever hear it from my mind after that?"

"I wasn't really paying close enough attention to mark it down on a calendar," Edward said, falling back on sarcasm.

Jasper ignored him and continued. "Because she hasn't felt that since. I haven't picked up the slightest hint of it. See, the thing about most girls, if you act like an asshole it doesn't matter how good looking you are, all they see is the asshole."

He wasn't sure why that information was such a punch to the gut, but it was. And after a pat on the shoulder, Jasper left him to his thoughts.

He spent the rest of the evening vacillating between feeling hopeless and determined. He hadn't realized how late it was until Alice opened his bedroom door, not waiting for him to answer it after a quick double knock. She still looked angry when she handed him an unopened bottle of water.

"Be outside her door at midnight with that and a colossal apology."

"Thanks," he said, his voice cracking from lack of use.

She nodded and left just as quickly as she'd arrived, and Edward spent the next hour watching the clock. At 11:50 he crept out of his room and waited outside of hers. He sat on the ground, leaning against the wall directly across from her door and closed his eyes while he waited, trying to imagine how this might go. When he heard the snick of her door opening he was almost afraid to look at her, not knowing how she'd react to his presence.

When he finally did, she looked wary, not angry as he'd expected though he knew she had every right to be. He held the bottle of water out to her, a small peace offering.

When her brow furrowed in confusion, he simply said, "Alice."

"Thanks," she whispered. She took a drink, but he could see her growing unease. She was understandably uncomfortable around him, and just when he thought she was about to retreat, he said, "I have a hard time trusting people."

He was glad that she didn't try to speak; he needed to get everything out at once. "I know that you aren't with them, and that you've never done anything to indicate that you're even considering it… it's just hard to remember that sometimes." He paused, and trying to infuse his words with as much sincerity as he could, he looked her in the eye and said, "I'm sorry."

"Why did you get so angry?"

"I saw you wave to Felix out of the corner of my eye and heard him questioning why you would draw purposely draw attention… why you would publicly show that you knew each other. I misunderstood the situation."

"I didn't—" she started but he cut her off. He was shocked that she was actually letting him speak, and he was ready to take full responsibility. He didn't want her to feel like she needed to defend herself.

"I know. Like I said, it's hard to remember that not everyone is out to get us. It was the first time I'd seen anything remotely suspicious, and I didn't bother to think it through. It wasn't until I saw it replayed through Alice's vision that I realized that you were being truthful about trying to make him uncomfortable, and that I had misinterpreted his thoughts. I assumed that he meant why would you acknowledge it in front of me, but was actually referring to the other students. We have to keep a low profile when it comes to our abilities, and if he isn't careful, people will notice him sitting in the same places day after day. And if they do, and you acknowledge him like that, they'll notice you. He saw that as you taking a huge risk, drawing attention to yourself."

She was quiet again, and he knew that she was digesting his words, trying to decide what to do with his apology and excuses.

"Why did you wait out here?"

"Stay," he said, pleading. Not only to give himself a better opportunity to make amends, but because it would make his sister happy. And maybe, he thought, without the distraction of making her prove herself, they might actually make some headway in deciding what to do about the Volturi. "Don't leave in the morning. We can all start over fresh, learn from our mistakes. At least think about it."

He could tell that she was on the verge of crying again, and in order to change the subject while proving that he meant everything he was saying, he offered information knowing that she would understand that if he didn't trust her, he'd have kept personal details guarded.

"I don't remember ever really hiding what I am," he said. "I mean, obviously, in public I do… but I've never had to hide it at home. Alice and I aren't the first in our family, so it was 'normal' for us. Expected, almost."

"So, your parents?" He could tell she wasn't comfortable carrying on a conversation with him, but he hoped that if he pushed ahead that might change.

"Grandparents. Grandmothers, more specifically. From both sides. Pre-cognitive and telepathic, surprise surprise. My parents hated it when they were kids. They finally got out on their own just to go through it all again with us."

Bella laughed. "I bet they're enjoying the privacy now."

It was a risk, asking her questions so soon, but he wanted to try to make this an exchange. "Is it true? Nobody knows about you? You've never told anybody?"

"I guess we come from entirely different backgrounds. As far as I know, I'm the only person in my family… even as a kid I knew it was something that would make people feel uneasy, so I kept it hidden. I'm still not used to using my power or even talking about it with you guys. It makes me feel so exposed."

"There aren't even any rumors or stories about your great-grandparents? Aunts or uncles? Cousins?" he asked.

"None that I've ever heard," Bella said. "I'm the only child of only children and just had one living grandparent growing up. If there are rumors or stories, there weren't really many people left to pass them down, I guess."

A few seconds of quiet fell over them again until Edward said, "Did Alice tell you that our dad is a geneticist?" He waited for Bella to shake her head before he continued. "His theory is that it's the product of some recessive gene, but so far he has no proof. It's a risky thing to research… it's not exactly the kind of information you'd want falling into the wrong hands."

They continued to talk; Edward felt encouraged when Bella began to ask questions. It was just a small sign that she was more comfortable, but it was more than he could've hoped for.

She asked about the others, how they all managed to come together, and he gladly shared. When talk crept up on what had happened with Jane, he tensed. He wanted to be open with her, but he wasn't ready to talk about this yet so he offered her an abrupt explanation of how they'd been infiltrated.

When discussions stalled again and the late hour began to take its toll, Bella stood up. He watched her reach for her door and hesitate before she said, "You know… I don't trust you either."

"You think we may be the bad guys?" he asked. The thought hadn't occurred to him that might question their motives.

She shook her head, but wouldn't look at him. "I don't understand you. I never know what will set you off."

Again the guilt spiked when he realized she was talking about not trusting him personally.

"Another mistake for me to learn from, I guess."

Without a word, she slipped inside her room. He waited a few moments, not ready to leave this bubble where things felt optimistic and promising, before turning to head back to his own room where he'd spend the rest of the night figuring out how to repair everything he'd broken in such a short time.

Thanks again to all of you readers who found time for this story when there are thousands to choose from. I have a couple things I am or want to work on if you want to keep an eye open. The first is something I've already started to write, it'll be a short story called "Cuffs and Kilts." I've been promising this story to the Muselets for over a year now... it's time to finally do something about it. Anyone who happened to be following me on Twitter last May when I found out my hotel was overrun by hundreds of kilt-wearing cops might find it familiar. My random tweets turned into a running commentary by other ladies who kept adding, "And if this was a fic this is the point where Bella would..." This one will only be a few chapters long, then I'll dive into the expansion of "Home Ice Advantage" just in time for hockey season, hopefully.