A/N: Wolfgirl was my very first attempt at fan fiction. So, take that as you will. It's very, very far from perfect, but it's a sweet story and writing it taught me so much. So regardless of the bits which make me cringe I love it. I hope you do, too.
Chapter 1 – Nessie's POV
I lay back on my bed, trying again to block my thoughts. I knew my parents were... busy, so this was the only real time I had to practice. I'd used up so much energy on it in the past few days, I felt totally exhausted, but one thought kept me going; one that Dad could not ever be allowed to hear. I let it swim around my mind for a second, too good to keep locked away. Jake, crouching next to his motorcycle, his cheek smudged with black grease, his hair pulled back into a messy tie, shirt tucked into the back pocket of his cut offs. His stomach clenched, his bottom lip drawn between his teeth as he tried to figure out what was wrong...
Oh, this was very far from working, and the realisation of the uselessness of it all made my eyes prick with tears. Nothing was going to change how I felt, this creeping obsession had been growing and growing for months... like an addiction. Sick. The best I could do was work out how to hide it for as long as I could. Maybe in one more birthday's time he'd find me... cute? Although who was I kidding... a half vampire – his instinctive enemy. And then there was my more pressing issue... how to hide all this from Edward. Eugh. I briefly considered running away, or drugging Dad, or joining a convent, then giggled at the ridiculousness of my ideas. At least the thought of me in a habit was lightening my mood...
'What's so funny?' Jake said, and I nearly fell off the bed in shock. He came rushing over from the window he'd jumped in through. 'Oh, Ness, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to startle you!'
I tried to assuage his guilt. 'I'm ok, Jake, I was just concentrating, that's all.'
'Trying to conjugate Latin verbs again? Or, let's see, learning Catalan as well as Spanish?'
I swung at him half-heartedly. 'Not this time. I was trying to keep my Dad out.'
'Well, if you'd just tell him you're madly in love with me then it'd be fine, I'm sure he'd come around in three hundred years, tops.'
He was joking, but my heart was in my throat. I swallowed, trying to force the feeling back down, along with the sense of hopelessness. So me loving Jake was a joke, then? Obviously. I tried to save my pride and punched him in the stomach lightly.
'Don't be a douche. Oh, wait, I'm sorry, I know it's hard for you not to. I know I need to be more understanding.'
Jake stuck his tongue out at me, and grinned. 'Let's go out.'
'Oh god I need to get away from here for a few hours. I swear if I try any harder to keep him away from my thoughts I'll start sweating with the effort. Where are we going?'
His forehead creased in thought and he bit his lip again, just like that day in the garage... My stomach tightened. 'Where'd you want to go? We could run down to the beach? I totally bought a six pack earlier in town and I could bring my stereo?'
''kay.' I grinned widely as I flitted about my room, stuffing CDs, matches and a sweater into my backpack and slinging it onto my shoulder. Jacob's height and build was very helpful in our teenage efforts at debauchery. The store clerks were probably too afraid to ask him for money, let alone ID. I chuckled.
'I was just imagining you growling at the poor cashiers as they handed you the beers while peeing themselves.'
'Actually, I was very polite. Honestly, listen to you and you'd think I was a delinquent!'
'That's a very long word.'
'Nessie Cullen. You are skating on very thin ice. One more comment like that and I'll be keeping my PBR and my Journey all to myself!'
He lifted his nose in the air, and pretended to turn on his heel and leave. I caught his waist and before I knew it we were standing so close, with my arms around him, next to my bed. My stomach twisted again. This had to stop, if only to try and maintain whatever was left of my dignity or my heart. I pulled back abruptly, desperate not to put myself in the face of more rejection, but I couldn't bring myself to detach my hands from his hips.
He lifted my chin up with his fingers and I saw confusion in his dark brown eyes at my sudden movement away. My thumbs slid down the taut lines running diagonally in from his hipbones and I gritted my teeth. I had two options. Either I was going to shove him to the wall then and there and kiss him so hard he'd forget his last name... or I had to get out of there. I looked him straight in the eye. 'Race ya?' I'd taken off before he could even catch his breath.