Conversation Duck


Written by Yum@
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"So, was your day?"

"Oh, great. Nothing like having a boulder on your lap to really get the day started. Here I am with my legs pined under half of this goddamn planet, talking to you in the dark here! I'm having a great day!"

"Sorry. You asked me to get a conversation going, Jack."

"I asked you to keep talking, Daniel. The least you could do is make it interesting."

"I'm really tired, Jack."

"Its called shock, Daniel. That's why I told you to keep talking- Daniel? Daniel!"

"Wha-? I'm awake, Jack."

"Look, do you want me to get up and shake you around so you'll stay awake?"

"Um, that would be interesting to see, Jack…Being that you are trapped under that pile of rubble."

"Smart mouth. Just you wait until Carter and Teal'c gets us out of this goddamn shaft. I'm going to tie you to that land rover from now on. Maybe that will keep you from running around without watching where you were going."

"I didn't think this cave was going to cave in on us, Jack."

"No, you didn't think...No, wait. That didn't come out right."

"No, I'm sorry. I should have waited."

"Well, I'll be damn."


"You're actually agreeing with me. You must be a lot more hurt than you told me. I thought I was the big bad military guy. You never agree with me."

"That's not true, Jack. And I'm okay really…ouch- just can't go anywhere right now."

"Well, it shouldn't be too long now. I hear Teal'c up there. He's getting us out and Carter headed back to the Stargate for reinforcements. So just stay awake and we'll be out of here in no time."



"So what do you want to talk about?"

"Let's see…Hey! How about those Yankees!"


"You know. World Series? Yankees? Baseball? Big bat, little ball? Oh for crying out loud! Don't tell me you never heard of baseball! Don't they let you nerds out for fresh air once in a while when you were in school?"

"Oh! The Yankees! I know. Yeah, sure."

"…You have no idea what I'm talking about do you?"

"No. I do. Of course I…okay, no, I don't know what you're talking about, Jack."

"I knew it! Teal'c isn't the alien here. You are!"

"Very funny, Jack."

"I always thought I was, Danny."

"Do you have to joke about everything?"

"Do you have to be serious about everything?"


"Daniel? Helloooooo! Anyone out there? Open those eyes, Danny boy!"

"I'm awake. I'm awake."

"Don't scare me like that again. Do that again and I'm coming over there and beat you silly. Just stay awake and annoy me like you usually do with your culture babble."

"It's not babble, Jack. We can't just run into every planet, shoot everything that moves and then leave."

"That's not what we always do. In between, some native chick falls madly in love with you and follow you around. Then we get into shit, find out that the babe is the chief's chick, promise to marry you off to her and run like hell back to the Stargate."

"Very funny, Jack. That does not happen."

"Oh yeah. What happened at the last planet then?"

"She wasn't in love with me, just… grateful that we saved her life from that…dog thingie."

"I thought you said it was a canine ere- canine er-"

"Canine erectus, Jack."

"Yeah. Dogface was a canine erectus. What did that mean?"

"Um…dog thingie."

"No shit?"

"No, really, sort of."

"You're not pulling my leg, are you?"

"No, because if I did that right now, it would probably hurt, Jack."

"Ha ha. How's your arm and your head?"

"Broken. Bloody. How's your legs?"

"Like I got rocks on top of them."



"You do have rocks on top of them, Jack."

"I was trying to be funny, Daniel."

"You always do."


"Try to be funny."

"Well…would you rather I bemoan about how we're all going to die, wring my hands and weep in the dark?"


"Well, just let me keep on being funny, okay, Danny boy?"

"Um, okay…Jack?"

"What is it?"

"Am I annoying?"

"Oh boy, don't tempt me."

"Huh? Never mind, I guess that answers my question."

"What? No! You're not annoying, Daniel."

"But you just said-"

"I say a lot of things. You don't take me seriously on everything I say now, do you?"

"Actually…I do."

"…Well. I'm telling you don't take me seriously on this."

"So I shouldn't take you seriously on that?"

"Damn straight."

"So if I'm not suppose to take you seriously on that, then when you said that I wasn't annoying, I shouldn't take you seriously on that either. Therefore, what you said before that I was annoying was true."

"Huh? What? What? No, I meant…what I mean to say was..Goddamn it!"

"Gotcha. Heh heh. Got you going there, Jack."

"Oh ha ha. Very funny, Daniel."

"I'm trying, Jack."

"Carter did say my humor was contagious, didn't she?"


"What is it now, Daniel?"

"Are we going to die?"

"You're taking me too seriously again, Danny."


"S'all right."

"I don't want to die yet, Jack."

"You're not going to die."

"I mean, I want to find her. Sha'uri."

"I know, Daniel. I know."

"No matter how hard it takes. I want to find her and if anything happens to me then…. Then I can die. It'll be all right then, because at least I know she's okay."



"It's not all right then, Daniel. You hear me? You're going to find her and live a long boring life. You hear me?"

"I hear you…It's just that- sometimes I can hear her. In my dreams, she's begging me to help her, but then sometimes it seems like I can't sense her anywhere in the universe. That I'm alone."

"You're not alone, Daniel."

"I know."

"Do you? Really?"

"I do. Really. I do."

"I told you, Daniel. A long time ago. We're going to find her."

"Yeah, I know…. Thanks, Jack."


"O'Neill! Are you and Daniel Jackson all right?"

"Hey, it's Teal'c! Jack and I are fine, Teal'c! Well, actually we're injured, but we're fine!"

"Sir? I got SG-4 here, sir. They're going to dig you out."

"Oh no, Carter. Take your time! Danny and I are bonding here! So Danny is bleeding to death here and I got rocks on top of me! It's okay! We're having a ball!"


"It's okay, Sam. I'm okay so far. Jack's just being funny because he doesn't want to wring his hands and bemoan in the dark!"

"Ooooookay. We're going as fast as we can, sir!"

"Very funny, Daniel."

"Learned from the best, Jack."

"Well…might as well keep talking. It might be a while."

"I thought you said it shouldn't be too long now, Jack."

"Oh, now you don't take me seriously?"

"Okay, okay."

"We're getting out of here, Daniel."

"I know, Jack."

"And you are going to find Sha'uri, Danny."

"I know. I know. It's just that sometimes it's hard to believe. That's all."

"Well, believe me, Daniel…. We'll find her."

"I believe you, Jack."

"Well then, let's talk about something else then. Okay?"

"Um, okay. So…how was your day?"

"Ehhh. Okay, I guess. Could be better."

© 1998 The characters mentioned in this story are the property of Showtime and Gekko Film Corp. The Stargate, SG-I, the Goa'uld and all other characters who have appeared in the series STARGATE SG-1 together with the names, titles and backstory are the sole copyright property of MGM-UA Worldwide Television, Gekko Film Corp, Glassner/Wright Double Secret Productions and Stargate SG-I Prod. Ltd. Partnership. This fanfic is not intended as an infringement upon those rights and solely meant for entertainment. All other characters, the story idea and the story itself are the sole property of the author.

This is for Janet, who always threaten to come over here and beat me silly for handing in my stories late...and does!

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