Disclaimer: Don't own Smallville/Supernatural.

VERY short.

Written for my LiveJournal Paranormal25 150 Prompt Table. Prompt of the day #112: Marian Apparition

Warning: Pure crack. Not Meant to Be Blasphemous.

"You can't seriously expect me to believe this." Chloe Sullivan announced, sitting in bed, wearing pajamas, hair utterly messed up, looking at the woman levitating in the air with a halo of light around her flowing hair and sparkles glistening on her skin. Chloe had been sleeping happily, just having come home from a late night of research over the freak of the week, and when she'd finally been able to fall into a fitful sleep she'd been awoken by the sound of singing and bright glowing women..or...err...woman.

"I understand how this must be hard for you to understand, my child." The woman announced with a serene smile. "That is why I wished to come here and grant you the news myself. Gabriel wished to do so once again as he had in the past, but he left me with so many questions when he'd appeared to me so long ago that I thought it better that I relay the message to you myself."

"You...You're not getting..." Chloe ran a hand over her head. "Look, uh, Holy Mother..." she couldn't believe she was having this conversation. "I can't be pregnant, okay? I mean, I haven't been with anyone since that time with that guy, Jimmy Olsen, when I was a trainee in the DP." She made a face. "I just graduated from high school---just escaped that freak who had us in that high school-is-forever thing. I---I haven't been with a guy for months." She leaned forwards. "I can't be pregnant."

"Yes, well, I was a virgin when Gabriel told me about my son." The Holy Mother reminded with a raised eyebrow. "If they could make a virgin pregnant, why do you believe that you, who have had sexual experience, can't have the holy touch upon you as well?"

Chloe opened her mouth.

And then she closed it.

The Virgin had a point.

"But why me?" Chloe leaned forwards. "Let's just say that, for one minute, I believe you, that I'm carrying the next Messiah."

Mary nodded.

"Why in the world would I be picked?" The blonde's voice cracked with emotion. "There's nothing special about me! The only thing that differentiates me with other girls is the fact that I have no sense of self-preservation! That can not be a trait you would look for in the mother of the next Holy Child!"

"On the contrary, your experiences will give you must to teach the child when he is to arrive." Mary Mother Of God replied with a soft tut. "You and the father will be the ones to teach him, to train him, to help him fulfill his destiny this time."

"This time?" Chloe narrowed her eyes, before they widened once more. "Father?!?" She looked up at the ceiling in near despair before returning her gaze to the Holy Mother, voice a whisper. "You mean God?"

"No!" Mary laughed softly. "No, no, child, he is not like my son, fear not!" She lowered herself a little more and sat on the edge of the bed. "My child, this is my fault, I have not explained the situation as best as I could. Maybe Gabriel should have been the one to come." She sighed. "But this child, he was alive before, but he sacrificed himself and his destiny to save his brother. He sent his own soul to be tormented in the fiery pits of hell to give life to his brother, and heaven, heaven couldn't abide it. We needed to find a way to snatch him out of the pits of hell and give him life once more so that he may fulfill his destiny." She reached over and placed a loving hand on the girl's flat stomach. "We had to wait, he had to prove himself unbreakable in the pits, and when the time of probation had passed and hell could not corrupt his soul, we were able to reach for him and drag him out of the fires, to pull him from perdition."

Chloe placed her hand on her own stomach when the Virgin removed her hand.

"While he was in probation in the pit, we searched for the maiden who could serve as his mother and protector, who could strengthen him and prepare him for his life ahead, for his mission, and we could find no more worthy than you, Chloe Ann Sullivan. Just as you nurtured and prepared your friend, Clark Kent, you will do the same for your child." The Holy Mother smiled. "And as for the father of the child, we needed male DNA to join with yours to create a life-form in which to inject the soul."

That sounded so clinical.

"And what better DNA than that of the brother whose soul he damned himself to save?"

Chloe's eyes widened. "Wait. So his brother is his father?"

"What other father would be better to protect the child and teach him the ways of the hunter?" The Virgin asked, standing. "And Gabriel was sent to him in a dream, just as he was sent to my Joseph when it was our turn to raise the savior of the world. He shall come searching for you, and you must join together and raise this child as one." The Holy Mother sighed. "He did not have a family the last time, but in this life, he shall. And he shall inherit the special gifts you and his father have, both light and darkness, so that he can better understand both and battle."

"Gifts?" Chloe frowned. "I don't have any gifts."

The Holy Mother just gave her a secretive smile that did nothing to soothe her. "Rest now, Little Mother, you must think of the child."

Chloe laid down, silent, hand on her stomach.

How in the world was she going to explain this to her father?

The Holy Mother began to fade away.

"Wait!" Chloe reached out for her. "What do I call him?"

The Holy Mother smiled. "Dean."

And then she disappeared.

When I saw the prompt I was stumped. What in the *world* could I write with that prompt. And suddenly, this finally came to mind, so I had to write it before it disappeared. Not meant to offend anyone. Just fun. Not really planning on continuing the story.