Don't Look

"Promise me you won't." "What...?" "Don't look. We won't fall for long."


".....It wont be too long. Keep your eyes closed."
His soothing voice whispers confusing advice in my ears. I'm still not sure I know where we are, but I trust him. I trust him with it all. I feel his arms move up and down as he picks his strong, booted feet up the stairwell. I feel my hair fall down from it's tie. It sways across my neck and tickles me, but he picks it up and tucks it in between his and my own arm. I have an urge to open my eyes, but that voice floats back through my thoats.

"Don't look. We won't fall for long."

He caresses my head, and I hear a little 'shhh'. I relax.

I'm not sure what he means, because he'd always been an indirect type. It was something I liked about him, the mysteriousness of it. Why his hair....'levitated' the way it did. His alchemy rippling through the air. The static warmth I felt when he used the magical equivalent exchange of it. The inner monologues I felt radiating from him. His insecurities, though they were few. His swollen ego. Our history together.
They were all the things I craved for more of, cherished with all my heart.

I'm not one to usually give myself over to a person. An obvious safety is over my heart in that aspect. I'm not unattractive......I just prefer they left me alone. I only have eyes for the man carrying me up the stairs. The long flight of stairs. And then I don't feel us ascending anymore. We're walking forward, and I feel the wind rush past me ears.

".....where are we?"

Again I hear a 'shhh', but it's shaky, as if he's crying. That's not right, he doesn't cry. At least not in public, And I've only seen him cry limited times. Not for very long, either. He's just too proud to cry in front of someone. I used to think all men were. Hell, I almost though I did, too. The wind whips my hair into my mouth, and I taste something salty and wet that gets trailed across my cheek as he sweeps it away. It seems as if it's going to rain, and I know that's difficult for him. He hates rain.

"....tell me where we're at."

I say again, and he kisses my head, pulling stray hairs into his sticky mouth that he wont bother pulling off. I reach up for his face, lean back and to my left, and say in a more worried voice,

"Where are we?"

He places a finger to my lips, and I nod. I know what he means. Our lips meet silently with my hair fluttering in the sudden calm around us, as it falls back down and moves slightly. I shudder at the tickle on my neck. I connect my arms across his shoulder, meeting almost directly under his right ear. His body jerks with the contact, and he breaks the kiss. I don't break my gripped hands, though, and I feel tears slide off of his face and land on my blouse. I wonder how he can hold me with one hand while he lets out liquid sorrow and I become more saddened.

"Don't cry."

I tell him, reaching back up to brush his hair out of his face, forcing myself still to keep my eyes closed, though tears threaten to leak out of my eyes too. I feel my hand become wet and cup his hot cheek.

"What are we doing? Please tell me where we are?"
"I'll love you forever."
".......... Where are we?"
"Promise me you won't."
"What...?"
"Don't look. We won't fall for long."

Though he seems to be talking in riddle, it clicks. I'm not sure why it didn't before, but now it's like lighting a lantern. I don't know why we need to jump. He had such a great future planned past his dreams, past those things he'd worked so hard for.

"Why?"
"..........Too much. It's all too much. Please be quiet, please keep your eyes closed.....Just, please....Don't look. We won't fall for long......"

It confuses me why he'd want me to die with him, but I don't argue. I trust him. I trust him with it all.
And then he steps off the edge. I don't know when he got so close to the edge, I hadn't felt his steps since the stairs. It's almost....peaceful. I remember he's there, and I reach up to kiss him, realizing he's lied. We'll fall forever. I know the alchemist belief, or lack thereof. If he's right, all we have to look forward to is hitting the pavement, and then darkness.

"This is a lot longer than not long...."

I mumble, releasing our lips. I realize it's really only been maybe two seconds since he stepped off, though so many thoughts have flown through my head since he did, it seems like years. Much longer than we've been alive, But I suppose being alive is just one long fall toward death.

I remember my high school sex ed class, the entire room erupting with laughter when my teacher told us 'Life is just one big STD, and the fatality rate is 100%'. I had laughed along. I use the little time I know I have to take in all of him. Everything I've seen. Everything I haven't. I know he's thinking the same thing, how we'd never gotten farther than our kisses. We'd only had the four since he'd told me to shut my eyes what seemed like years ago.

The impact happens in slow motion. his foot hits first. Obviously he hadn't thought this through, since if you bend your knees you can survive(barely) quite a few stories. Though he did not go spread eagle and had me along, so I know it wont save us. I don't mind the pain I know he'll cause us before we go unconscious and never see each other again. I trust him, after all. The smack of flesh on pavement seems so distant, as if it were a dream. We bounce apart almost comically, and I realize my head is throbbing violently.

I feel my body collide with blacktop a second time, little rocks grinding into my skin. My eyes were forced open long ago. I wanted to know where he'd found such a tall building...... Then I realize the tower on the edge of Central was taller than even Central HQ.

"You're...such an.....idiot...."

I mumble, crawling toward him. Everything is getting so distant, and the red stickiness running down my throat and all over creation is bothering me. He attempts a weak smile, and I give him one back. I manage to get into his arms and kiss him bloodily one last time before the both of us slip into unconsciousness with his arms around me and mine pressed to his chest.
"Hey. Don't look. We won't fall for long" He manages to say in one fluid sentence.
Then?
Then it's all gone.
And I'm happy, because he's standing there with me for the rest of eternity.


Your choices for 'I'?:Winry or Riza....or Ed, though if you twist a character, it could be anyone.
And 'Him'?:Roy or Ed, but same thing as with 'I.
I needed to write something mysterious, and I've wanted to do a suicide fic FOREVER. So I came up with this. Hope you enjoyed. ^^ (I always imagined Roy and Riza, even if she'd be a little OOC in this particular fic, just letting him give up.... But they're whoever you'd like them to be. ^^)