Okay, so I have three little brothers right. I mean talk about a full house. And today they decided to watch this one iCarly episode that has been bugging me to go Twilight. It seriously screams "Re-Write Me! Re-Write Me!" and it's insane. So of course, as I'm doing those annoying dishes that stack up, I hear that iCarly theme song and it's the episode and I go "NOT AGAIN!"

But, unlike the last gazillion times, I've decided to oblige. So here we go, random one-shot here. Leah POV.


"I don't care how much money the pack needs, I'd rather dance at a strip club!" I snapped at them.

Embry and Quil started laughing.

"Lee-lee, it is one pageant." Jacob pleaded.

"Don't call me that, Black." I growled.

"Please?" Seth gave me his stupid puppy dog eyes.


"Why not?" Quil asked.

"Because even if I do win, which is highly doubtful considering I am a six foot tall twenty year-old, I don't feel like making a fool of myself."

"You used to!" Seth whined.

"When I was seven!" I looked at him like he was insane.

"And you'd say strippers don't make fools of themselves?" Embry raised an eyebrow.

"I didn't say it in those words."

"Well, it doesn't matter what you say, Alice and Rosalie are already preparing. Alice has three outfits and Rosalie has called make-up." Jacob told me.

"I will not play Barbie for Pixie Dust and Blondie." I glared at him.


Well, I guess I'm playing Barbie for Pixie Dust and Blondie. Who knew these guys were that strong? I mean, okay, I'm not the heaviest wolf, nor am I the strongest, but managing to drag me in wolf form to the Mansion on the Hill is quite an accomplishment.

"So, the pageant starts at seven, you need to be signed in by six-thirty. We'll get going now so we have an hour before the sign-ins are due and we should be fine." Alice hopped and checked over everything she and Rosalie had already packed. I groaned.

"I don't want to do this. Can't one of you two do it for me? Rosalie? Rosalie will definitely win, I mean look at her!"

"I was kicked out." She frowned.

"Well, so was I, when I was seven." I shot back.

Alice made a face.

"You guys were kicked out? For what?"

Rosalie said "pulling a gun" at the same time I said "punching a judge."

She laughed.


"I thought only my 'artists' were allowed back here." I commented as I looked in the mirror to see Jacob and Seth standing behind me.

"They are, but I gave the guard $500 and called it even." Alice shrugged, "I'd have given him more, but he was drinking so I figured he'd waste it anyways."

"Alice, just because someone is drinking doesn't mean they're going to waste money on alcohol." Rosalie sighed, "It just means they feel like drinking at the time."

"I've always wondered. If a vampire was to drink the blood of an intoxicated human, would they get drunk?" Seth asked Alice and people turned to stare. (A/N- I got that from my best friend)

"Don't know, go ask one." Alice snapped. Everyone looked away.

A familiar face strode towards me.

"Vionca." I wrinkled my nose in distaste, "I didn't even know she did these anymore." I was quiet enough that only Alice and Rosalie would have heard me.

"Leah, it's great to see you again! You are still doing pageants?"

"Nope, it's a onetime deal. Alice and Rosalie begged me to come." I glared at her. I don't think she noticed.

"Well, do well!" She walked away.

"Don't tell me what to—" Rosalie slapped a hand in front of my mouth.

"Damn, I hoped I didn't ruin your lipstick!" She got started fixing my make-up.

"I'll go sign you in." Alice skipped away.


"I'm Leah Clearwater and I," Enjoy annoying the shit out of people? "Work to save the Olympic wolf." I turned and walked off to where Alice and Rosalie were cracking up. The audience clapped behind me.

"You put the thing in danger, you don't save it!" Rosalie rolled her eyes, still smiling.

"Yes, well. Unless I was about to say 'and I protect my people from vampires' I really don't think I do much charity work."

"Come on! We have to get you ready for the question!" Alice pulled me back towards the dressing area.


Okay, you've gone over ever possible question, Leah. Calm down.

"What is your standpoint on teen drinking?" The idiot asked me.

"I believe that teens should spend their money, not on alcohol, but they should donate their money to help end world hunger." I glanced at where Alice and Rosalie stood.

Alice mouthed "for the children."

"For the children."

Everyone clapped, the judges looked impressed.

"Happy?" I snapped at Jacob when I got back to my station.

He grinned.

"Out, out! She has to change for the talent competition." Alice pushed he and Seth away.

"Oh…yeah…talent…what am I doing for that?"

Rosalie and Alice looked at each other, then back at me.

"Turn into a giant dog." We all said together and burst out laughing. I was actually getting used to these two.

I can't believe I just thought that.

"Can you sing?" Alice asked.

"Does howling count?"


"A little…"

"Play an instrument?" Rosalie hoped.

"I used to play the piano…"

"Well, let's try it!" Alice smiled, skipping away. When she returned a few moments later, she had a keyboard.


"You have a great voice, just sing the song!" Alice pushed me onto the stage where the keyboard sat. I sat down and turned it on to the piano setting.

I played the intro.

Alice and Rosalie nodded.

The first verse was coming up, don't miss the cue…

"Making my way downtown," NAILED IT! "Walking fast faces pass and I'm homebound."

I finished the version of the song we had thrown together and hurried off.

"You were great!" Rosalie patted my back.


"Where were you guys? You were supposed to pick me up from vampire manor two hours ago. I had to run home myself!" I snapped, looking at Quil and Embry wearing the weirdest headbands with cards stuck to the top. Jacob and Seth were running patrol.

"We were busy. We've invested five hours in this game and we aren't giving up until we guess what we are." Embry shot back, deep in concentration.

"You're cheese." I pointed at Embry, "And you're a big toe. OUT OF MY HOUSE!" I walked down the hall and slammed my bedroom door shut.

3rd Person POV

"DAMN! NOW WE HAVE TO START OVER!" Quil yelled and he and Embry picked up another card each.

"Am I a squirrel?"




Yep, completely random and inspired by that annoying TV show.

Yeah, the last two sentences were completely memorized by me, but that's what I do. I naturally memorize lines, whether from books, movies, TV shows, songs, or plays. It's a habit. Watch it once and I have at least one thing down pat. That's the side-effect for acting lessons as a 4 y/o I suppose.

That and fantastic lying ability.