A/N: Another future-fic where Chuck and Blair aren't together. Yay. I go through phases. But like I've said before, I don't believe in angst because Chair breaks my heart. Anyway, its not an angsty ending, but its not exactly happy either. But it is Chuck and Blair which is all I promise. The first chapter may seen really contrived, which I suppose it is because its a plot device.
Summary: The problem is that she knows they can hurt each other so much and that she just doesn't care. She wants to clash teeth with him. So as their hips fit so perfectly together and she throws her head back with ecstasy and he really does howl for her like he promised.
Disclaimer: Only the characters don't belong to me or I would force them together forever.
I always did like Blair Waldorf. It wasn't anything dangerous because whenever I would look at her or Serena would give me this weird look, I felt like she belonged to someone. Someone that was unnameable by anyone. Blair Waldorf was real when she wasn't pretending and said what she thought when she didn't care what you thought.
So she said things like that to me a lot. She would grin that grin that would make anyone nervous but me. I guess that's why we connected. I felt like we understood what the other was about. But when she walked in that day, I knew it was all over. I knew I was done for good.
"Hey," I said as she closed the door behind her. She had that plastic face on that gave me the impression that she didn't want me to know what she was thinking.
Or maybe she was really an ice cold bitch. And I still knew she was hiding something.
"Don't take it personally," she said as an answer.
"Why would I?"
"Because you're leaving."
"Why would I do that?" I asked, feeling defensiveness rise in my chest. I didn't want to leave but I knew that my time had come and gone. Like Dan Humphrey, like Aaron Rose, like Carter Baizen, like Tripp Vanderbilt.
"Can I ask you a question?" Blair asked in a way that let me know I didn't have a choice.
"Fine," I answered blankly.
"Do you really think you can be good for her?"
I sighed. There really was no right answer to this.
"You'll try," she said admittedly. "You like her well enough, I think. But it won't be enough. You can't be true to her forever."
"Are you saying that I'm going to cheat on her?" he asked, annoyed at the accusation.
"Maybe not cheating specifically," Blair said. "But you're not meant for her. And let's face it. You're a dog. And dogs aren't meant for girls like Serena Van der Woodsen."
"Thanks," I said dryly.
"Well, I'd hate to be a hypocrite," Blair admitted. "Being in love with a dog myself, I can't say too much about it. But I deserve my fate. Serena doesn't. She needs Nate right now."
I couldn't honestly believe what I was hearing. Blair Cornelia Waldorf. Society Princess of the Upper East Side was in love with someone like me. Obviously not someone exactly like me. That wouldn't make sense.
"You?" I asked skeptically.
"Me," she sighed. "I know. Hard to believe."
"Andy isn't a dog," I answered. "He's the nicest person I've ever met in my life."
"I never said I was talking about my boyfriend," Blair replied with a flash of her eyes.
"Then... who?" I couldn't help but ask.
"It doesn't matter," she said, smiling tightly. "Because no matter what, it's something that can never be. I've done too many bad things in my life to earn love with someone like that."
And then I knew who it was. It was the way he looked at her when she refused to look at him. It was in his hot gazes and the models on his arm all the time. It was so obvious that everyone else had to know. I just didn't.
And it wasn't like I was coming back.
"Does Serena always send you to clean up her dirty work?" I asked.
"Serena doesn't now I'm here," Blair answered. "She deserves better. She deserves someone who will treat her right."
"And you don't?" I asked.
"Whether I deserve it or not," she said, "I'm not going to get it."
"I hope it works out for you, Blair," I said as I walked out of the Upper East Side forever.
She's alone in her room at night when it happens. Her door swings open as he saunters suavely into her presence, smelling strongly of scotch, but surprisingly nothing like the perfume his whores masquerading as models wear.
Are you lost? she asks, unaware of what else to do.
She knows instantly who has betrayed her and if she hadn't already run him out of town, she would do it again but with an extra side of humiliation.
I am right where I need to be, he says articulately, like he always had the gift for, even in his inebriated states.
I would have to strongly disagree with that, she says easily, knowing however that every struggle she has against him in nights likes these are futile. He always wins in the end. He always wins her in the end.
Really? he smirks and she knows that the traitor gave him information that he never should have had. That's not what he said.
Serena's with Nate now, she reminds him. He doesn't care. He never did. He only ever cared about her.
I have been waiting for this night, he says, cornering her on the bed.
The night where I kick you out once and for all?
Never going to happen, he says. You love me too much.
You drink too much, she informs him.
He doesn't care.
His hands press on her bed on either side of her and she's already gone when he whispers, I am going to howl for you tonight, with a well placed lick behind her ear. And you're going to howl for me.
She wishes they could love each other like normal people are supposed to. She wishes she could trust him but that's not even the problem. She could train herself to trust him again. The problem was that she didn't want to wait to train herself. She wanted to throw herself headlong into his howls even when she knows his canines will snap at her heels if she places one toe out of line. And she'll snap right back at him.
The problem is that she knows they can hurt each other so much and that she just doesn't care. She wants to clash teeth with him.
So as their hips fit so perfectly together and she throws her head back with ecstasy and he really does howl for her like he promised as she rakes her nails down his back, she can't give him what he wants.
She can't marry him like he wants her to.
She's not ready yet. She knows that he's it for her. She knows as she's said so many times before that she's his one and only and they are meant to be. Inevitable, as he likes to put it.
But she's not ready yet.
He grabs her wrist as she attempts to roll away from him, taking the opportunity as he is exhausted with exertion.
You think this is the end, he says. It's not.
You'll be mine one day, he tells her. Officially.
Maybe, she says. But today is not that day.
We're getting closer, he smirks. Just you wait.
I don't understand your fixation, she says. You have plenty of other call girls.
Because you're it, he says simply. And you're not a call girl.
You could spare yourself.
So could you, he says. But you won't.
I wish I could give you what you want, she answers honestly.
You will, lover, he promises. One day you will.