I don't own anything related to Harry Potter. This popped into my head, and I thought it was funny. I really adore Roxanne and Fred. Read and review!
"Well, why don't we just cut your hair and see!" Fred stared at his sister with a sardonic smile.
"It's not my problem that you look like me," Roxanne retorted.
"I'm older. You look like me." Fred shook his head quickly. "We look nothing alike!"
"Yes. Your head is the size of a troll's bottom!"
"And you're tall enough for Jamison to climb!" Fred chuckled. Jamison was their Uncle Charlie's one year old son.
"You… you're tall!"
"I'm a guy, Roxie, chicks dig tall guys. You're a girl. It's intimidating." Fred cocked his head to the side.
"Words stolen, no doubt, from the horrid mouths of those disgusting Scmander twins. I know Lorcan said that. I'll punch him in his pretty head when I see him!" Roxanne's hand turned into a fist.
"Come on, Roxie. I just want to prove that we look nothing alike. Your hair will grow back in a few months."
"Roxie!" Fred threw his hands in the air in frustration.
"Mum is very proud of my hair, Freddie. Even Aunt Audrey compliment me on it and said she wished Lucy had hair like mine."
Fred chuckled and leaned back against the counter. "Sure she did."
"She did last week when we played hide and seek. I was in the closet and heard her tell mum that!" Roxanne smirked.
"Was that the day I convinced Al to hide in the chimney?" Fred burst into laughter and leaned on the counter when his sister nodded. "That kid is so daft."
"I'm not cutting my hair."
"Roxanne, you're fifteen years old. I'm sixteen. No one has ever asked us out and no one ever will because they'd think we'd trick them."
His sister pouted and flopped down on the floor with her arms crossed over her chest and her legs folded underneath her. "Speak for yourself, Red. I'm waiting for someone."
"If he's the same height as you with light brown skin, curly brown hair and green eyes and sharing the same name as his father, which happens to be Dean Thomas, you can forget it. I heard he's gay."
"Lies. Lorcan told you that."
"How do you know if Lorcan told me or not?" Fred raised an eyebrow.
"Because Lorcan is an idiot!"
"I look nice with my hair cut like this. We can just cut yours like this then you can get it styled. I just… I do not look like a girl!" Fred covered his face with his hands. He inhaled deeply and rolled his eyes towards the ceiling. What would it take?
Roxanne handed him a handful of thick, ginger colored hair and motioned towards the mirror. "You owe me a year's worth of chores." She ran her fingers through her shoulder length hair and nodded to her brother. "We'll wear our heavy coats. Rub on a bit of lip balm. I refuse to let my lips crack because of some silly experiment."
"Deal." Fred took the white tube from his sister.
Roxanne smiled at her brother adoringly as she buttoned her jacket. "You do realize that Lorcan fancies me."
Fred laughed and shook his head. "Right."
"Haven't you noticed that he follows me around. He follows me to the portrait hole often. You've seen him there."
"He was waiting for me."
"My dear, idiot brother, did you not notice that I was going in each time you met him out there?"
Fred frowned. "That little--"
"Exactly. So I've proven you wrong on one account, now I will prove you wrong on this. When I do, you will do my chores for six months. The other six months are for me cutting my hair."
"Deal. How do I prove you wrong?"
"First, run your fingers through the front of your hair. We're going to the store in Hogsmeade. Mum and dad are there today."
Fred sighed and followed his sister out the house. They walked in silence and got on the bus with smile son their faces. Several boys their age waved at the both of them. Roxanne smirked and turned to face the front of the bus. One of the boys sat down beside Fred, who wore a green scarf identical to Roxanne's around his neck.
"Hello, ladies. I've never seen a pair of twins with such beautiful skin and red hair." The boy flashed them a dazzling white smile and tossed his blond hair over his shoulder.
Fred opened his mouth to say something, but Roxanne elbowed him in the side. She smiled at him widely. "I'm already in a relationship and my poor sister here is deaf. Sorry."
"It's cool. It was nice to meet you." He tramped back to his group of friends.
Fred narrowed his eyes at them and spoke with his mouth leaning towards the scarf. "I ought to go punch them."
"No, you won't. You can't keep fighting muggles." Roxanne pulled him out of his seat.
Fred felt his throat tightening as he the got closer to the black door he knew would lead them to Hogsmeade. He stared at his sister's head and said, "I give. You win."
Roxanne looked at him over her shoulder. "Doesn't matter. We have to meet mum and dad for lunch."
He ran to catch up with her as they continued on their way. He ignored the glances several shady looking wizards in the place gave them as they passed through. "Why didn't they tell me instead of you?"
"I'm more reliable." Roxanne turned to him as she twisted the doorknob on the plain brown door and smiled. They appeared in an alley.
"I'm reliable." Fred nodded when his sister rolled her eyes. They walked past several shops before he saw their joke shop looming in the distance. He swallowed.
"I had to cut my hair and trick you into coming here or we never would have come." Roxanne looped her arm through his and sped up. She pushed opened the door to the shop.
Her mother was first to look up. She dropped the glass ball she happened to be carrying and covered her mouth with her hands. Her dark gaze darted from one expressionless face to the other. Her hands slammed down on the counter and she leaned forward. "George!"
Their father appeared in the back doorway with a black glove on his left hand. He disappeared into the room and was in the process of removing his apron when he happened to look up and see his son and daughter. He looked at Angelina and blinked. "What's going… on?"
Roxanne reached into her pocket and produced a folded piece of parchment, which Fred took and handed to their mother. Angelina opened the parchment and read it. She handed it to George and turned back to the two of them with one of her "no nonsense" expressions. Fred was very thankful for the scarf or his mother would have seen him gulp and instantly known which one he was. Their father laughed.
"That's pretty smart, but we can easily tell you apart." George nodded and leaned towards the counter. He smiled when Fred lifted and eyebrow. "Roxanne, you handed your mother the letter."
Angelina shook her head. "George, Roxanne is the one that had the letter in her pocket."
"I am a twin, Angel, Fred and I used to do this to mum all the time. Roxanne handed you the letter." George said matter-of-factly.
"Let me see your hands," said Angelina thoughtfully. Both of them shrugged and held out their hands towards their mother. She looked convinced. "Right. You're on two weeks punishment for cutting your hair." She was staring Fred straight in the eyes when she squinted and burst into laughter.
George's eyebrows rose. "What?"
"This is Fred, George." Angelina pointed to their son. "This is Roxanne. Fred has three freckles on his nose."
Fred brushed his finger over his nose and diverted his eyes.
Roxanne shoved her brother. "You're such a git. She was just testing you. I still win."
"You win not going anywhere two weeks." Their mother smiled at both of them. She turned to her husband and followed him into the back room. "I can't believe they did that again. It's been eight years since the last time. They should have just been twins."