I promise I will be updating my other stories soon! But I have also decided to begin doing a bunch of little one shots starting with this one. =] I hope you enjoy it!
"You are, and always have been, my dream."
— Nicholas Sparks (The Notebook)
I sat down on my couch and began going through the box that I had recently pulled out my old box of memories from high school. As I sifted through the memories, I came across an old photograph of Lilly and I. We were at the beach, I was in my bikini and Lilly was wearing her wetsuit. She was smiling wide, with one arm holding up her surfboard while the other one was wrapped around me. I remembered that day. I remembered that feeling of having her wrapped around me. Looking at the photo, I smiled, and realized a few things about that time in my life.
I was sixteen.
Lilly had just turned seventeen.
I ran track.
Lilly had a motorcycle.
I was in love.
But it wasn't enough to keep us together. I often wonder if I was more in love with that motorcycle than with Lilly. She would let me ride on the back and we would go flying. Anywhere and everywhere. I loved the feeling of going fast, feeling that at anytime we could just lift off from the ground and fly away from the world. From our parents. From school. From all the hard things in the life of a teenager.
I also often wonder if Lilly ever loved me. She let me go so easily. She hardly put up a fight after I walked away from her after graduation. But then again, I didn't fight for her either. We fought over something stupid, like we always did. I guess I just figured that we would make up the next day like we always did. But by the end of the week, I had left for Europe with my family for our annual vacation and I had seen no sign of Lilly. I can't even remember the reason I expected her to come and apologize to me, but I did. She didn't. I don't know where she was when I got back to Malibu. She wasn't there and I had to leave to go to college in New York. I haven't seen her since.
Our plan had been to go to college in New York together. For that first year, I expected her to show up on campus at anytime looking for me. She never did.
Back then, I was hurting and selfish. I know I should have been the one to apologize. I should have been the one to go after her. But I didn't. And now I wonder if she's all right. Then I wonder if she ever loved me and maybe she had been glad to get rid of me after that last breakup. After all, with me gone, she had her motorcycle all to herself again.
My best friend since high school, Joannie, sometimes tells me that she sees Lilly around Malibu when she goes to visit her mother. So I know she's out there somewhere in the world. I hold on to these scraps of information.
I still wonder what could have been. And I wonder if she does too.
I sighed as I traced our faces in the photograph. We were been so young back then. Maybe too young to be in love…