Coming to Terms

This is the third part of a trilogy the first one is "I'm Sorry!" the Second one is "Almost at Peace".

In this story Leia makes a choice. If you consider the EU canon than the end of this is AU.

So much has happened in the past few days: I killed Jabba the Hutt, we rescued Han, I learned that not only was Anakin Skywalker still alive but that he had turned to the Dark Side and I knew him as Darth Vader but that I was his daughter and Luke's twin, met his long lost padawan believed dead, learned that my mother was Padmé Amidala born Padmé Naberrie who was a Galactic Senator during the last days of the Republic who died supposedly pregnant and that they were married.

On top of all of this I think that Ani died during the battle.

When Luke told me the truth I felt as if a door had opened in my mind and I started to have flash backs to when Ani became distant. The truth was that he never left he just blocked the memory of certain conversations.

Wait, if my mother was Padmé Amidala then that means that I befriended my own cousin!

Luke says that he's going to comm them after first light on Naboo. I agree that they have a right to know the truth after it was purposely hidden from them.

I wonder what it would have been like to grow up on Naboo with a real family and not a family that was like distant relatives that would visit and bring you gifts from worlds all over the galaxy and then expect you then have respect for them because the were your family.

I guess I can forgive Bail for being distant but I rarely called him 'father' let along 'daddy'. He'll always be the loving and caring uncle that I will never forget. Ever though I just received word that I am no longer a member of the House of Organa.

I am very grateful to no longer be a princess. I am free to take up the name Skywalker, which I am going to do. I foresee that some like Mon Mothma will have a hard time with this. But I was in truth a Ward. I'd go insane if I had to take on the duties of the Royal House. Besides there are others that are by birth member of the Royal House that will be better suited at governing the survivors of Alderaan then I ever could, I cause diplomatic incidents wherever I go.

I am still getting used to the idea that my father, Anakin Skywalker, turned to the Dark Side. All I can ask is: why?

I wish Padmé answer my calls, she usually has wonderful insight on things. For that matter I wish I knew if Ani was dead or alive then I'd ask him for his opinion.

So many people would think that I'd be climbing the walls about being the daughter of one of the most feared beings in the galaxy. The truth is I haven't thought too hard on the Vader part, I'd go insane with anger towards him for what he did and trying to explain everything away.

How did he torture me? I have no memories of being injured but I remember vaguely being in pain.

"You look like you could use some answers." I jerk out of my thoughts at the sound of Ahsoka's voice. "What was my father like?" She smiles fondly. "I have never met anyone quite like him before or since. He would blame himself for things he had no control of, if men died because we had not anticipated the Separatists correctly than he'd mentally beat himself up."

I didn't quite expect this but it feels right.

"I used to think that the Jedi Council was his worst critic but I learned that Skyguy was his own worst critic."

For some reason her description reminds me of Ani: so self critical, he blamed himself for not teaching me how to control my emotions.

"But he cared very deeply about people and had a driving desire to help everyone, he could become angry quickly but his mood would shift to joy even faster."

"What type of relationship did you have?" I ask because I remember stories that older officers told about Jedi Padawans and how their Masters usually kept them on tight leashes. "He was like the big brother I didn't realize that I wanted and needed and in turn he treated me like a beloved little sister."

"Do you think that he would have wanted me?" I ask. "He pointed you and Luke out at the celebration down on the planet and he was very proud of you, your best bet is to ask him yourself."

I feel a hopeful smile form on my face.

"Is it true that you insulted Tarkin to his face?" she asks. "Yes, I did." I respond. She smiles, "Your father would have been proud of you insulting your enemies to their faces."

I don't he was very pleased when I insulted him in orbit of Tatooine.

Luke thinks we should wait just a bit before we tell her that Anakin had turned to the Dark Side. I hope that she understands when we tell her. Maybe if we're lucky father will tell her himself.

She stands. "I must get back to the surface and retrieve my children."

I watch her leave before I head to my quarters on the ship to do something and then sleep.

I stare at my reflection and prepare myself for what I am about to do. But I know in my heart it will help me heal.

If my father had problems with forgiving himself and I know where what happened to him and Ani held onto his guilt because he didn't feel that he deserved forgiveness than I need to let go of my guilt.

I wake in the early morning hours to hear someone rapping at my door.

I groan. I haven't gotten a descent night's sleep in days and someone is now waking me at 0330 hours?! I hope that this is important.

I open the door.

"I'm sorry I must have the wrong room the officer says when I open the door.

"Who are you looking for than?" I ask, annoyed but curious. "Um, Leia Or-" "You have found her." I cut him off.

He gapes in shock at me.

"Your presence is requested in the Briefing Room." He hurries away to either inform others of the meeting or to head someplace else.

I feel a pleased smile form.

I wonder how Mon Mothma and the others invited to the meeting will react to my new haircut and that I will be leaving politics to become a Jedi Knight and that there is nothing they can do to stop me.

Yes I am going to become a Jedi. It is what I was born to be.

The strangest thing is I want to get to know father as Anakin Skywalker and have him proud that I have chosen to follow his first path as a Jedi.

I hope that I do everyone proud.

In case you are wondering Leia's hair style is the same one that Anakin had in RotS.