Random plot bunny. Expect OOCness and strange things.
T! M! N! T! Does not belong to me! *shakes pompoms*
Raphael eyed the door in front of him suspiciously, squeezing the piece of paper in his hands tightly. He had woken up that morning and had discovered a piece of paper on his bedside table. It had been from his brother Donatello, saying that he wanted Raph to come to this part of the sewer. It hadn't said why, but he hadn't seen how it could hurt to go and see why his brother wanted him.
Raph opened the door and walked in. As soon as his tail was in front of the door, it slammed shut. He blinked, turning his head to face it, before being slammed into the ground by something.
He grumbled and saw Angel sitting on him. Surprised, he exclaimed, "Angel? What are ya doin'?"
"Excellent Angel, you may leave," Don said from the other side of the room.
She giggled and slipped out. Raph's eyes didn't register her movement or her departure. All his eyes could stare at were the other people in the room, who were sitting on hard wooden chairs. In front of them were clean sandy desks. He blinked, trying to understand what was happening.
Behind the first desk was none other than Shredder. He was wiggling in his seat, trying to break free of the metal ropes restraining him. Tied down by similar ropes was Agent Bishop; however he was not trying to break free. He was unusually still, looking strangely calm. Next to him was Karai, whose eyes were nearly closed and shooting daggers at a seemingly unaware Don. Behind them were Casey and Leatherhead, who weren't tied down. Casey was looking furious but the mutant crocodile was more bewildered than angry.
Don got out his bo staff and pointed at an empty desk. "Take your seat, Raphael."
Raph went to his seat quickly. If Shredder and Bishop could be tied up, then he had the feeling he could be as well. He found being not strapped down more preferable.
He sat down on one of the chairs. Don beamed at everyone and clapped his hands. "Excellent. You're all here. Now, I bet you're all wondering why you're here."
"Damn right." Casey punched the air.
"You have been invited to this Anger Management Class, and I will be your teacher."
Bishop laughed hollowly. "Invited indeed."
Don glared at him. "Put your hand up if you have something to say. Anyway, you chose to come."
Bishop glowered at him. "I can't."
Don remembered that he, Karai and Shredder were bound down by ropes. He untied them and said warningly, "The door's locked and if you leave your seat knockout gas will be released."
He returned to the front of the room. Bishop put his hand up.
"I didn't choose to come."
"You chose to follow that trail of alien technology though. Now," Don clapped his hands and gestured towards them, "you are all very different individuals, however you all share at least one similar trait. Your anger. Everyone has it but frankly, you guys have trouble controlling it and it's hurting innocent people. I plan on helping you control it." He noticed Leatherhead waving his hand in the air. "Yes Leatherhead?"
He lowered his hand. "Sorry. I just wanted to say something. It's not very often that I appear in a fanfiction."
"I will destroy this fanfiction!" bellowed Shredder. He head butted his desk and broke it into two pieces.
Don rolled his eyes. "You can't destroy this fanfiction. As long as it has some form of plot it will continue to exist."
"Then I will destroy the plot!" declared Shredder, trying to kick Bishop, who happened to be sitting next to him. Bishop grabbed his chair and hopped away slightly, so he was safely out of Shredder's reach.
"This is exactly what I mean!" Don told them. "You can't control yourselves."
"I am controlling myself," Leatherhead piped up. "I am so controlled I did not need to be tied down."
"No one cares," Karai spat.
Leatherhead's eyes changed and he got to his feet. He picked up Casey and held him above his head, shaking violently.
"Hey, I didn't do anythin' to you!" said Casey. "Ya should be shaking Ms Emotionless Lady!"
"Do not speak to my daughter like that!" roared Shredder, stamping on the pieces of desk so that there were now four of them. "You're the one who is going out with a redheaded lump of lard, mortal!"
Don banged his bo staff on the ground, startling everyone. He narrowed his eyes and studied each of them closely. "We won't get anything done if you keep this up. Leatherhead, put Casey down please."
Leatherhead's eyes returned to normal and he put the man down. Shamefaced, he sat down and buried his face in his hands. Casey picked up his desk and put it next to Raph's. The friends high-fived each other.
"ANYWAY," said Don loudly, going over to the blackboard at the back of the room. "We will start on…" He began writing on it with chalk, the sound of them rubbing against each other making everyone else flinch. "… What makes us angry. Let's start with John. What makes you angry?"
Don turned around and gave him an annoyed look. "Could you be a little more specific?"
"The imbecile with the piece of chalk in his hands."
Don started to write that down. He paused when he got to the word 'the' before rubbing it out and just putting 'mutant turtles'. There was an unrestrained wave of laughter.
Everyone put their hands up.
"I am not one of the options."
Everyone put down their hands.
Don rubbed his temples. "How about… Raphael! You've been awfully quiet. What annoys you?"
Raph decided to answer properly so he could look smarter than Bishop. "Mikey, usually. And… uh… Shredder and Bishop. Hun gets on my nerves too… and Karai… and Leo… and Casey…" He went on to name everyone he knew.
Don wrote down what he said. Shredder, Karai, Bishop and Casey cried out in rage. The vigilante was the first one to put words in his mouth. "Hey, that ain't-"
Don put his hands on his ears and hummed softly. Casey narrowed his eyes and raised his hand. The turtle smiled and pointed at him. "Yes, Casey?"
"How come ya can put our names on the board but not yers?" he asked, Shredder and Bishop nodding in agreement.
"Because I'm the teacher," said Don simply. "Leatherhead, what makes you angry?"
"Nothing," announced Leatherhead proudly. "Does this mean I can go home now?"
"You smug freak," Bishop sneered. "I should have dissected you when I had the chance."
Leatherhead's eyes changed. "I take back my previous statement. He makes me mad."
"Karai, what makes you angry?" asked Don quickly, trying to avoid the fight he could see beginning.
"Leonardo." Karai curled her lip. "He fills with me with conflicting emotions and they are confusing. Confusement angers me because you cannot just destroy it."
"Confusement's not a word!" snarled Bishop.
"She can make up words if she wants!" Shredder told him furiously. "I bought the English language three months ago. I will add that word to it."
"Okay, you all seem to get annoyed at living creatures… mostly people. I'm going to help you retain your outbursts and fits." Don frowned, scratching his chin. Could you even buy the English language? He wasn't sure. He didn't think you could, but Shredder was pretty rich. He decided to change the subject before he suffered even more confusement. "Now that we know what makes you angry, we are going to figure out what it is about them that infuriates you. Karai said that she gets angry at Leo because he makes her feel confused. How does he confuse you?"
Karai averted her gaze, irritated and reddening slightly. "The title of this is 'Anger Management'. It is not 'The Exploration of Karai and her Feelings'."
"He confuses her because he is evil!" declared Shredder. "He can see how pure and innocent my daughter is so he tricks her with silly things like honour and anti-Orokuness."
"That's not a word either!" Bishop snapped.
"One more remark and I will ban you from speaking my language!" Shredder said, stamping his feet. "You will have to learn another one! Like… like Russian!"
"Everyone!" Don banged his bo staff on the ground. "We'll be here all day if you keep interrupting like that. No one can talk unless they put up their hand. Okay, John, tell me how we make you angry."
"You are inhuman and you are scum," muttered Bishop. "You aren't any better than the aliens… oh yes… I will make sure that each and every one of you suffers, just like you made me… The things you did to me…"
"Lol," said Casey, putting his hand up. "Emo."
"Casey! What did I say?" scolded Don sternly.
"I put my arm up!" he argued.
"That's true," concurred Shredder, only backing him up because it meant that he could disagree with Don and Bishop.
Don stared at him, gulping slightly. It was creepy hearing Shredder side with one of them, 'them' being the utrom's enemies. He shook his head and pointed at Casey. "If you have so much to say, say it. Why do you become angry?"
Casey exhaled, putting his hands behind his head and leaning back in his chair. "People look at me funny… or they say somethin' stupid about me. It's things like that."
"Why do you resort to violence?"
Karai put her hand up. Don pointed at her reluctantly.
"What stops him from doing so? Why must he adjust his ways of living because it does not suit you?"
Don sighed. "It's not just me. We live in a society where violence is frowned at. If you can't adapt to your surroundings, you'll get seriously harmed unless you go and live on a small island as a hermit. Now Raphael, why does Mikey make you angry?"
"'Cos he likes to," replied Raph. "Gets a kick out of it."
"I meant what about him annoys you?"
"He plays all these pranks on me and calls me stupid things like 'Raphie' and 'Riff-Raph' and 'Debbie'," he explained, not noticing that Casey was noting down what he was saying in a notebook. "He doesn't leave me alone and he bugs me and makes fun of me all the time. Of course I'm angry. He keeps makin' me angry."
"He annoys everyone but you don't see Leo riding around on a motorbike, running over pigeons."
"I only did that twice."
"My point is that you can just use words to sort things out. We live in a place where violence is- Leatherhead?"
"The humans condemn us, so why must we live by their rules when they do not wish for us to live with them?" he asked, lowering his hand. He knew the answer, but he wanted to see how Don answered it.
He coughed. "Well… the humans don't just put up these laws and expectations to make people's existences miserable. Some things are morally wrong, no matter who you are."
"I have an objection!" shouted Shredder.
Don chose to ignore him, even when he put up his hand. Suddenly, a red dot appeared on the turtle's head. He looked up at his forehead and narrowed his eyes. "Whoever is using a laser pen; please put it away before I confiscate it."
Shredder's eyes dimmed.
"Okay Shredder, what objection have you got to make?"
"You are turning this into a 'How to Behave like a Good Guy' lesson," he moaned. "You cannot convert us. I do not want to join your religion and neither does Karai. Right?"
"Right," Karai agreed half-heartedly.
"This isn't a religion," Don told him slowly, like he was talking to an idiot... or because he was. "Controlling your temper does not change your religion."
"Good," said Casey, "'cos I wanna stay a Buddhist."
Don opened his mouth to say something, before choosing to keep quiet. He shrugged his shoulders and dragged a box into the middle of the room, which had been sitting unnoticed in the corner. "It seems that you are unable to listen to me. Perhaps if we put this all into a real-life situation you will learn something."
"What's in the box?" asked Raph, pointing at it.
"Hand please." Raph stuck up his hand, but Don didn't acknowledge him and continued talking. "In this box are the two most annoying things ever. We will see who lasts the longest without losing it. Whoever wins gets to tell me to do one thing, and I will obey their command."
Leatherhead furrowed his brow. "You don't think this is a bit risky, do you? I mean, Agent Bishop and Shredder could make you-"
"You forgot me," sniffed Karai.
"Yo! Me too," piped up Casey.
Raph banged his desk with his fist to draw Leatherhead's attention to him.
"If it makes them learn how to contain their anger then it's worth it," Don told them. "Okay guys…"
"And girl," interrupted Karai.
"He can't help it if ya don't look like a girl," said Raph.
Karai was about to scream when she saw Don's face. She cleared her throat and smiled sweetly at her teacher. "I am ready, Mister Hamato Sir."
"Thank you." Don beamed at her. "Good luck."
He opened the box.