AN : ok this isn't my best but i was just really trying to get back to writing. I usually write something out of a flash and this time i forced it and that may be why i don't like it as much as most of the things i write, so please tell me what you think of it! I just thought i would do this pairing caus it's my favorite and there's not nearly enough fic about it!
I seriously can't breath.
I often thought you took my breath away, but not in that way.
My back is bleeding i think,
I can feel the blood dripping on my skin.
You're not killing me.
But you could be for all i care.
This is too intense, too real.
See, all my life has been in a zombie blurry state. Like everyone around me was gliding around and i stood, static, there. It was like i never really was awake at all.
I wondered why, i did all the things awake people did. I dated cute girls, i went to parties with friends, at the end, i still felt like i wasn't like them. Like i was in a coma, waiting for my real life to begin. At the end, i did what everyone expected me to do, i got into wrestling. Like my daddy, my grand-daddy. I didn't hate it, no, when i wrestle is probably the time when i felt the most close to awake. I went throught the normal road, with maybe a little more facility then others since i had my family name working in my favor. I ended up somehow in the locker rooms of the WWE before i could even had time to realise it. They stuck me with Triple H, wich i didn't hated, he just...left me indifferent. No, i really didn't care that much for Hunter. Its when he introduced me to his best friend that something happened. I remember thinking how bright his eyes were, how alive he seemed when he talked and moved. I was automatically fascinated with Shawn Michaels. I always liked him as a wrestler, watching Raw as a kid, but that was different. Then i recalled his own personnal story. The struggle i went throught. And I thought, maybe, if i was very lucky, he was asleep too. And had found a way to wake up somehow.
Since that time, i was addicted. Everywhere he went, i wanted to be there. Everything he said i wanted to hear. I was really intimidated by him so i wouldn't really talk to him, but i observed him from afar, trying to pinpoint what made him so alive.
I think i finally figured it out tonight. It took years but i understand now. I think i understood the moment i opened my room's door and saw him standing there.
-Shawn? What the hell are you doing here?
- This have lasted long enough, let me in.
I took a step back to let him in and closed the door behind him.
-What are you talking about Shawn?
-What is it , Randy?
-What is what?
-What is it that makes you so attracted to me?
-What the... I'm not attracted to you Shawn , really.
Me, attracted to a guy? Come on, I mean yeah he's beautiful, but that doesn't mean i want him, i'm just fascinated with his way to be. The way he smile and how he brings his hair back when he laughs and how he take in the pain when he wrestle, how he seems to glisten when he comes out of the ring, sweaty and breathless...oh god, i really sound like i want him.
-Really? Not attracted at all?
-Honestly I... I dunno. I mean, yeah something draws me to you i won't lie, but its the way you seem so lively all the time you...
My hand stroked my face. I was lost.
-I just... i feel so out of it, like i'm not really even there, you know? And you have such a presence you're like...Too real, you just are so alive.
He had a sad smile and put his hand on my shoulder.
-Randy... Do you really think i'm happy?
-Happy I'm not sure. But you're alive.
-I'm alive caus i got it, cause i understood... Are you sure its a step you want to take. Cause i know why you feel like that Randy. But are you really ready to find out?
-I don't understand.
-Do you want to wake up?
Then he just leaned in and kissed me. I stood there, frozen, not sure of what had just pulled away, but i still had the feeling of his soft lips burning against mine.
I was about to slap him, scream or anything in the same line when i stopped for a second and realise my heart was beating faster than it never had before. I was blood rushing trought my face making it red, but i felt it rushing throught my whole body. My mind was racing and i just wanted too feel it more and more, until i consume totally.
So here i am now, pinned under him, the scratches he did on my back aching, my brain pulsing, the weirdess half smile stuck on my face. Because i finally found out how it felt to be alive.
And i think liveliness is something i'm gonna get addicted to really quickly.