Now with 10-percent less fail and 10-percent less promiscuous-ness! :D
"So, Nina. Tell me about your family."
"Um... Okay. I guess fair is fair." Nina shrugged, playing with the ends of her hair. "Well, as you might have guessed, Knit Knots is my uncle."
"No." Kitty whispered dramatically. "I had no idea that the reason why you called Knit Knocks 'Uncle Knit Knots' was because he was your uncle!" Kitty and Nina looked and eachother in a dramatic silence before they both burst out laughing.
"You're to much, Kitty." Nina giggled. She sighed, composing herself. "Well, I'm related to Knit Knots on my mother's side. They come from a long line of what may be the closest thing to royalty..."
"What? No way! You're like a Princess or something, Nina?" Kitty gasped.
"Don't be silly! We're like royalty, but not actually royal or anything! But anyway, we come from a small country in Eastern Europe called Borovia- the world's most boring country in the entire world! Anyway, when my mother turned 16, she ran away to the United States because she wanted excitement- not boredom- to rule her adult life. She wanted to be promiscuous and dance with boys who wanted to dance with her, too!"
"If that's your mothers idea of being promiscuous, then I'm glad that she left Borovia!" Kitty snickered.
"That's awful! How would you feel if I talked about your mother like that, Katherine?" Nina exclaimed. Kitty fake-yawned.
"What else is new, Nina? Have you meet my cousin Lily? I'm the black sheep in the family- actually going into a legal industry!"
"Oh. Okay. ...Well, anyway, my mother was pretty much on an all-expenses paid trip to the different US cities, and when she got to Hawaii..."
Scene: Hawaii shore, sunset. "Nina's mom" (To be further mentioned as NM) is wearing a tropical bikini with a sarong. Her hair is blowing in the wind. "Nina's dad" (To be further mentioned as ND) is wearing board shorts and holding a surfboard. He is ridiculously ripped and dripping wet.
You can see the camera crew in the background.
"And... action!" The director yelled.
"Oh, NM, you are the most beautiful woman that I have ever seen in my entire life!"
"And you are the most handsome man that I have ever laid eyes upon..." NM exclaimed, her voice a high falsetto. She made like she was going to swoon, but ND caught her. "But, our love can not be!"
"Why do you say such things, my love?" ND sighed as NM pushed herself away from him. "Has this cheesy and cliche love scene set to a very outdated 80's power ballad meant nothing to you? At all?"
"I love you so much, ND, but..." She swooned again. "I have been betrothed since birth."
"What? Don't be silly, my love! Only Princesses and Princes ever get betrothed! Unless..."
"Yes! That is right, my love!" NM struck a dramatic pose. "For you see, I am the Princess of a small country in Eastern Europe called Borovia! I have had my fun, but... I know that any day now, my family will fetch me back to Borovia where I will be married to this Prince that I do not know, let alone love. And then, we shall become King and Queen of Borovia and have Borovian princesses and princes and..."
"My love, I shall not let this fate become you! I shall kidnap you and force you to marry me! We will have already set forth the bonds of love by the time that your family has discovered the news!"
"I did not know that such a fast marriage was possible! In Borovia, a marriage ceremony takes at least fourteen days to complete! And that's the shortest version ever! Not to mention the most boring wedding ceremony ever!"
"In fact, I know of a place where we can have a five minute ceremony!" ND exclaimed.
"Where is that, ND?" NM whispered, her voice hitched up another three octaves in her wonder.
"Las Vegas, my love." ND struck a dramatic pose and NM swooned again, but, since ND was posing so dramatically, he couldn't catch her and she fell to the sand.
End Movie vision
"Shut up, Nina. That didn't happen." Kitty sighed, pushing Nina's thought bubble away.
"Fine. Here's what really happened."
"Nina's Mom, will you marry me?" ND asked, getting down on one knee at a luau.
"Oh my god! Yes!" NM exclaimed, her hand covering her mouth in complete shock. ND stood and NM jumped into his arms.
"Congratulations, NM and ND! Now, a special Hawaiian hula dance, just for the happy couple!" A giant Hawaiian man exclaimed and the hula dancers started to dance.
End Real Flashback
"Then, nine months after the wedding, I was born!" Nina concluded with a smile on her face.
"Promiscuous, indeed!" Kitty snickered behind her hand.
"Shut up, because now you have to tell me what promiscuous means in your family, Kitty!"
"Oh. Can't I just tell you about this one time at band camp...?" Kitty tried to bargain.
"Nope. Family history."
"But, what about the rest of your history? Why are you living in Louisiana?"
"Okay. Fine. But then you have to tell me!" Nina sighed. "Uncle Knit Knots was chosen as the family representative to come to America and start the first American Branch of the Official Boring Company."
"Why is no one surprised that there is an official company?" Kitty sighed.
"Well, I was just fresh out of high school and looking for work, so my mom wrote to Knit Knots and asked him if he could find an opening for me at his new office."
"I'll bet that you had to fight off alot of other potential employees for that spot, Nina." Kitty laughed, rolling her eyes.
"Oh yeah!" Nina rolled her eyes and laughed right along with Kitty. "Well, Uncle Knit Knots wrote back right away saying that he could use a hand, so he paid for my plane ticket to Louisiana and I started working right away. It was really boring until I meet the Movers, but, that's a story for another time, because you've promised me a story!"
"Okay. Here it goes. Well, my mother beep-beep-beep-beep with a tennis net beep-beep-beep-beep-beep-beep-beep-beep far away where the neighbors couldn't hear Uncle Larry beep-beep-beep-beep toothpaste beep-beep-beep-beep Kentucky Fried Chicken beep-beep-beep-beep-beep-beep-beep-beep with the entire 'Lord of the Rings' book collection (signed by JRR Tolkin himself) and then they beep-beeped happily ever after! The end!"
Nina's jaw was an inch from the floor.
"With a tennis net? How is that even possible?"
"Maybe someday I'll tell you." Kitty replied with a wink and both girls started laughing again. "Now, tell me about the time that you meet the Tooth Fairy..."