Ok, second story for the new Alice in Wonderland movie. ^.^ This is a humor fic. It AU and OC. Which means Alternate Universe (or Underland in this case) and Out of Character. Please, please don't flame me for it, I'm just super bad at writing in Lewis Carrol's style and I am very bad at writing Mad people never mind the Mad Hatter.


It was morning. A beautiful bright morning in Underland as Hatter rolled over the sunlight hitting his eyes gently making him stir in his sleep over top of his husband. He knew he would be getting up any second now to the sound of screaming and crying of his children. But for now, he was nice and comfy. Snuggled up on top of his husband. His head resting over his husband's heart. Hatter sighed and slowly opened his eyes. He might as well get up, before his children started screaming for food and jumping up and down on top of him.

"Baby?" Hatter lifted his head and smiled as he looked up at his lover grinning as he scooted up and kissed Stayne lovingly on his lips. "Morning, Sweetie. Sleep well?" He asked gently rubbing up and down Hatter's back.

"Yep, It helped that you left completely and utterly exhausted after-" Hatter didn't get to finish his sentence, because at that moment their sons came running in and jumping up on the bed, making Stayne bark out as they landed on top of them. "Tweedle Dee! Tweedle Dum!" He fussed grabbing the closest one while Stayne grabbed for the other.

"Boys, what are you doing?" Stayne asked sternly making the boys stop their jumping in slight fear.

"We weren't doing nothing bad." Tweedle Dee said softly.

"And even if we was, we wasn't so there's no reason to fuss." Tweedle Dum argued nudging his brother slightly both grinning broadly.

"Mmhm, Boys, go sit in the kitchen. Your mother and I will be out in a moment." Stayne ordered making both boys yelp and run out of the room. Both boys were quite afraid of their father, not in a bad way. After all, fear is after all a good thing in small doses.

"Stayne. Do we really have to have children, darling? I mean, come on. Can't we just ship them off to the queen, make them into chef assistants or something?" He asked desperately clinging tightly to Stayne. "Not that I don't love them, it's just I'd liked to have one morning, just one where we have morning sex and cuddling without interruptions."

"Baby, I know that." Stayne said with a chuckle kissing the top of Hatter's forehead with a smile. "I know you love them, and I know you miss morning sex, but maybe once they're teens we can start banging all through the day and night." He offered grinning as he kissed all over Hatter's face and began to sit up.

"We can say we're taking a shower, leave the door open, and maybe when we're done they'll be gone." He whined snuggling into Stayne's chest his fingers making slow pleasant circles that made Stayne seriously consider Hatter's request.

"Come on, baby. Let's make breakfast for our sweet little babies and ship them off to see one of their friends so we can act like rabbits." Stayne said with a grin as he slid out of the bed kissing his sweet husband lightly on the nose.

Hatter huffed and pouted with a little whine as he watched Stayne step away and go into the bathroom. Hatter pouted for only another moment, before he got up and went outside to find both boys playing with action figures at the table.

"Boys, no fighting." He said offhandedly as he went to grab some cereal from the cabinet and a couple of bowls. He sighed and set them to the side before grabbing a frying pand and getting out some eggs and milk. Maybe he could make pancakes for the boys, surely he had some flour around somewhere? Twenty minutes later, two near fires, and a singed lock of hair later Stayne came out and took over cooking some pancakes.

"So, boys. What plans do you have for today?" Hatter asked as he began to fill both bowls with cereal.

"Yes!" Tweedle Dee sang out happily.

"We're going to play with Cheshire Cat, today!" Tweedle Dum continued grinning.

"Oh, really, boys?" Stayne asked with a knowing grin towards Hatter. "That sounds like fun." He said as he began to serve up the pancakes. "How many pancakes do you guys want?" Stayne asked over his shoulder winking at Hatter.

"Five!" Tweedle Dee yelled grinning.

"Seven." Tweedle Dum said with a giggle.

Stayne laughed and quickly served the boys their separate amount of pancakes and quickly turned to kiss Hatter on the cheek. "Baby, you're spilling the milk." After a high-pitched squeak from Hatter all four sat down to eat together.

The rest of breakfast passed in relative peace save for the occasional spilled food and broken dish. Afterwards Hatter dressed the boys and took them out to go see Cheshire.

Stayne heard the door shut and in that split second he managed to strip down to nothing and stood leaning against the table to wait for Hatter's return. It only took Hatter 15 minutes to drop off the kids, but to Stayne standing there in his birthday suit with a wilting hard-on straining to stay hard it felt like an eternity. Not that it wasn't worth it when Hatter came in and lit up like a habus flower.

"Hey, Sweetie." Stayne said grinning broadly at Hatter. "Wanna take a ride on your very own train?" Stayne asked waggling his eyebrows.

"Yes, yes I do!" Hatter squealed with delight quickly tackling Stayne and kissing him sloppily. Both men fell back onto the table. It would have been sparked a wild, passionate, love making marathon to last until whenever Hatter couldn't even move again. It would have been. If the table hadn't broken underneath them and wound up with Stayne holding his back in pain while Hatter whined and pouted. It was so cute.

Hatter sniffled rather loudly as he helped Stayne to the bedroom. Stayne on the other hand just sat there grinning. Hatter huffed as he slid in next to Stayne on the bed and snuggled into his chest with a frown.

"Why is it, whenever we do have time to have sex, something goes wrong and we do not do it? Why can't we just have sex on tables or in the bathroom anymore? Are we doomed to having boring normal sex from here until we die?" Hatter whined as he looked up pouting at Stayne.

"Now, come on, baby." Stayne said with a chuckle as he gently stroked his dear husband's bright orange curls. "You know for a fact just last night we had wild hot monkey sex." He pointed out.

"Yes, in the bed. As usual." He whined pouting as he kissed gently at Stayne's chest. "Not that it wasn't good, but honey, when was the last time you and I had sex under a mushroom in the Pantad woods?" Hatter asked whining as he kissed Stayne's chin gently.

"About nine months before the twins were born." Stayne answered smiling broadly as he kissed Hatter on his nose. "You should know that. After all, you said it was the worst idea you and I had ever had. You also called me the biggest asshole in the world, but I figured that was the labor pains." He teased gently stroking Hatter's face gently.

"Well, yes, but honey bear…" Hatter started to whine as he pouted at Stayne. "How's your back?" He asked suddenly remembering Stayne was the one who hit the floor.

"Aw, Hatter baby, you haven't called me honey bear since we had the twins." Stayne cooed scooting to lean back into the headboard. "And my back is just a little sore. I just need to rest my back for a little while. A day at most." He comforted gently. "Of course that doesn't mean we can't have sex." Stayne pointed out trying to cheer his poor sweet husband up.

"Yes, I know, as long as we do it on the bed. Or at least somewhere soft and comfy, like always." He pouted. Not at all comforted by Stayne's placating.

"Yes, but in my state I can only do a few positions. And Missionary is not included." Stayne said with a grin as Hatter's eyes lit up.

"Re-really?" He asked climbing to straddle Stayne's legs with a grin. "You mean, I could still hop on the Stayne train?!" He asked rubbing his hands up and down Stayne's chest.

"Yes, so what you have to ask yourself is…Do you still want to go for a ride on this particular train?" Stayne asked smiling as he began to undo the Hatter's shirt. Why did the man insist on having so many buttons on one shirt?

"YES!" Hatter squealed excitedly kissing Stayne's face all over. "Stayne, I love you!" He continued as he nuzzled into Stayne happily. "But," He said softly trailing off as he looked up at Stayne. "Won't it hurt your back?" He asked nervously.

"Not if you do everything." Stayne stated grinning as he pushed Hatter's shirt off his shoulders and started trying to undo Hatter's pants with a grin. Hatter didn't take much longer to climb up onto Stayne and began to happily pump Stayne's erection. "Oh, baby…" He growled softly letting out a little moan.

"Let's use the cherry lube!" Hatter said swiftly leaning over to reach for the lube. After a moment he pulled out a bottle of glittery red lube. "At least it's yummy." He chimed happily as he popped the cap open and dumped some of it into his hand.

"It's cherry flavored?" Stayne asked slightly confused. Hatter nodded excitedly as he turned the bottle upside down on to Stayne's member and began to slowly spread the lube out evenly along his member. "Unh, it's cold." He said softly letting his head lean back as Hatter lifted his hips up and began to try and line up Stayne's member with his entrance.

"Well, it'll just make you appreciate my ass even more." He said smiling with as he careful lowered himself down onto Stayne's erection. He let out barely perceptible moan as he felt himself filled once more. Last night had been wonderful and wild, but nothing compared to afternoon sex. Hatter began to move himself slowly up and down along Stayne's erection making his lover moan as well. Stayne sat back and watched Hatter move along his member.

Nothing was more beautiful to Stayne than watching Hatter writhe in pleasure atop him. Hatter took all of him in over and over again his body flushed and his face pinked. His anal muscles were clamped down hard around his member and Hatter's own cock was purpling and hard yearning for attention.

Stayne smiled as he reached out a hand to slowly began to pump Hatter's erection slowly up and down, his grip loosening and tightening. Hatter groaned again and began to move even faster apparently having found his spot. Stayne groaned softly and began to speed up his pumping making Hatter groan even loader and arch forward into his touch. Stayne let out another soft smooth moan feeling his cock twitch in anticaption. Hatter bucked faster and harder moving up and down faster harder, probably wasn't going to leave marks, but was going to impede walking for a while.

And then Hatter came. His sperm shooting out and landing on Stayne, his anal muscles clamping down on Stayne's cock and triggering his own orgasm. They fell asleep after only a moment of cuddling. But for them it didn't matter. They lived happily ever after. Raising Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum, and trying to steal moments to have crazy young sex again, but it usually ended with seemingly boring, but still good sex. All in all, they never had sex under a mushroom again, but they never stopped being happy together.


Ok, so in the new movie there's a scene where Hatter is holding Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum's hands and he just looked so motherly so I had to write this. Ta-da~! This is the second Alice in Wonderland fic I've written since the new movie. Please leave a review~!