Title: A Beautiful Day for Dirty Thoughts
Oh crack fanfiction, how I love thee. I should be working on my more serious fic but I can't help it. I keep getting distracted by other fics. I just got his idea and had to do it before I forgot. I hoped it would be longer but eh, beggars can't be choosers. I was desperate so I got what I got, haha.
It was quiet. Too quiet. Shuichi had been home for hours and he hadn't said a word. Eiri kept looking over to the door out of the corner of his eye, still typing as he looked there and back. There wasn't even the sound of pawing on the door, or whining, or crying, or drunk singing. It was complete silence. Eventually he stared at his computer screen and realized all that was there was gibberish. He sighed and erased it all. He then go tup and went over to the door, knowing if he didn't figure out what was going on he wouldn't get any work done. "Oi, brat, wh-.....what the hell is this?" Eiri was shocked at what he saw. He was face to face with Shuichi dressed as a girl(again) with a huge picnic basket by his side.
"We're going on a picnic in the park! No wonder you need glasses, you're always staring at that screen all day!" he pointed accusingly at his lover. Eiri turned around and promptly went to go back into his office, suddenly regretting ever coming out of his lair. "Noooo Yukiiii!!! I made all this for you!!!" Shuichi whined, pawing at his back.
"I'm definitely not coming if you're dressed like that," he went to close the door, but Shuichi stuck his hand in it before he could. Eiri sighed and opened the door again. Shuichi whimpered and put the hand in his mouth, looking like he could cry. He sighed, too tired to fight him, "Fine, but you have to change."
"Hooray!!!!!! Yuki and I are going on a date!!!!!" Shuichi ran off. Had he just been guilt tripped into going with him? He wasn't sure but he knew he didn't like it. It was then he decided to write a few more lines while Shuichi was changing, he had a deadline after all. He went to make his way back into his lair when Shuichi came flying out, grabbing him.
"Noooo! You said we'd go to the park!!!" he cried.
"That I did, let's go then. But if you keep whining I'll change my mind," he went to get his keys.
"My lips are sealed!" he picked up the basket and they headed out. Once they arrived Shuichi put out a blanket and started laying out food. It was more like a ten course meal than picnic food. There was anything you could imagine laid out on the blanket and there was barely enough space for them Eiri already felt full just looking at all the food.
"Did you make all this?" he asked, trying to hide his astonishment.
"Yup! All by myself~" Shuichi gushed proudly.
"It looks good..."
"REALLY YUKI?! YOU THINK SO?!" Shuichi was so excited that he'd gotten a compliment from his lover. Unfortunately that was when Eiri realized how tired he really was even after caving to the silly idea, since that was meant to stay in his mind. "Here have some of this..and this..and this and this..and this!!!" he started dishing stuff onto a plate. Eiri knew he wouldn't even be able to eat half of it, however. He only ate about a quarter of the food Shuichi served him. "You look tired...we should get some ice cream!!!" Shuichi exclaimed. Before Eiri could protest he had already raced off to the ice-cream cart and even came back in record time. He came back with two cones. The pink one he assumed was for Shuichi, but he wondered what the flavour of the beige one was.
"What is it?" he took it from Shuichi, nodding in thanks.
"Coffee~ Since you like coffee so much!" he exclaimed. Well, at least he payed attention to his likes. He stared at his cone, not quite sure how to eat it. He hadn't had an ice-cream cone in years, he couldn't even remember the last time he had. It felt strange now. He looked over to Shuichi, who was devouring his. He was not in the way you'd think though. He licked around the bottom, and up and down. He sucked the top and then licked it's tip once again. Eiri couldn't stop looking away. It reminded him of something but he couldn't figure out what. "Mmmm...~" Shuichi almost moaned happily. Oh, yea, now he remembered what it reminded him of.
"Are you sure you want to do that..?" he asked him, looking away to hide his reddening face.
"Huh?" he looked over as he finished his cone, "Do what?"
"Nevermind..." he started to have his ice-cream quietly before his friend came out to play. When he looked over again, Shuichi was licking the salt off a large pretzel stick. He put it in and out, in and out, in and out, and in and out of his mouth, occasionally licking it outside of his mouth. Was he doing this on purpose? Eiri decided this was all just one big scheme for sex, and it was working. His friend was going to come out to play really soon if Shuichi didn't cut it out.
"Cut it out...!" Eiri finally had enough.
Shuichi pouted, the pretzel stick hanging out of his mouth, "Cut what out?"
"That!" Shuichi tilted his head to the side. "You're doing...things..." Shuichi blinked. "Naughty...things..."
"I got cwums on my shirt, iz dat nawty?" he looked down at himself. When he looked back up, his lover was right in his face. He almost swallowed the stick whole, shocked, "Uki?" Eiri leaned in and bit off half the stick, and Shuichi knew that look in his eyes anywhere. Before he knew it he was on the ground, pinned down by the blonde.
"H..Hey!! Yuki!! Cut that out!! Stop that!! People will see!! What if the paparazzi finds us?! Or worse some pervs videotape it and put it online on some porn site you have to use your credit card to 'see more' for!!!!! Yuki?! YUUUUKIIIIIIII!!!!!!!"