"Like, Liet, isn't my new dress so totally swish?!"
"GET THE HELL OFF OF ME, YOU BLOODY GIT!!"
"Doitsu, can we have pasta for lunch~? Ve~~"
It was a typical World Conference—France had decided to take residence on England's lap (despite protests from the Englishman), Poland was swooning over his new dress, and Italy was… well, being Italy. Everyone was acting rather normal… except for America. The normally boisterous nation seemed quiet… almost serious.
"Guys?" He said quietly, a frown crossing his pale features. "Guys, we shouldn't really fight. After all, we're all essentially the same, deep down."
Everyone gaped at the young nation. This display of maturity was rare, coming from America. It was Cuba who voiced the sentence that had echoed through everyone's mind.
"What the hell, America?" He eloquently inquired.
America sighed and opened his mouth. Amazingly, he began to sing.
"Everyone's a hero in their own way," he sang solemnly, his eyes brimming with sincerity. "Everyone's got villains they must face." He turned to cast a glare at Russia, who quietly kol'd. "They're not as cool as mine—but folks, you know it's fine to know your plaaaaaaaace!"
England blinked. Had Alfred finally snapped?
"Everyone's a hero in their own way," America continued. "In their own (not that heroic) way. So I thank my girlfriend, North Korea." America paused, winking at North Korea (a male who was turning a scary shade of red at this point), and chuckled. "Yeah, we totally had sex!"
North Korea made a choking sound in the back of his throat. England turned red. His little Alfred—practically his son, had… and with North Korea….
France sighed in rapture. "Ah, so cute~"
America continued, gesturing to North Korea, "He taught me there's so many different muscles I can flex! There are the deltoids of compassion, and the abs of being kind! It's not enough to bash in heads, you've got to bash in miiiiiinds~! Everyone's a hero in their own way~!"
America pointed at Holland, Estonia, and Belarus in turn.
"You, and you, (and mostly me~) and you~!"
Russia seemed amused.
Israel was taking notes.
"I'M THE WORLD'S NEW SHERIFF, AND I'M BASHING IN THE SLUMS. A HERO DOESN'T CARE IF YOU'RE A BUNCH OF SCARY ALCOHOLIC BUMS—EVERYBODY!!" America sang, his voice climbing with excitement.
And then, the most amazing thing happened.
Finland, Poland, and France stood up and began singing backup in a perfect three-part harmony.
England began swearing off drinking for good.
"Everyone's a hero in their own way!"
"We're heroes, too~" sang Poland, Finland, and France.
"Everyone can blaze a hero's trail!" America grinned, his ego swelling.
"We're just like you~!" The trio sang, even more excited.
"Don't worry if it's hard!! If you're not a frigging 'tard, you will prevail~~!"
England slammed his head against the desk.
America's voice began climbing again, signaling the climax of the song.
"Everyone's a hero in their own way! Everyone's a hero in their—"
Suddenly, Russia picked up his pipe and threw it at America. It hit his head, and he passed out cold. A few minutes of awkward silence followed, until Sweden turned to Finland, slightly disgruntled.
"…wh'n d'd y' l'rn h'w t' s'ng?"
Well, this was complete and utter crack. I warned you, though. I don't own Everyone's a Hero from Dr. Horrible's Sing-a-Long Blog (I'm sorry to say that I butchered the song). I don't own Axis Powers Hetalia. I don't own Israel, who is my friend Reaper-Lawliet's. I do own North Korea, and I only paired him with Al due to a...request, I guess. XDDDD
Those who review get lots of love. C: