I do not own these characters. They are owned Stephenie Meyer....lucky bitch! This is my first attempt at writing anything. So, I really would like just positive feedback. Remember, if do not have anything nice to say, then don't say anything at all. My thoughts exactly.

Shit! I am a complete moron. I had a made promise to myself that I was going to talk to him and I totally chickened out.


Yeah, my name is Edward Cullen. I am 20 years old and I am junior at the University of Washington. I am studying to become a music teacher. Also, I have just recently come out. Yup, I am gay. I think that I always knew, but fear is what kept me from saying anything. Then one day, I just woke up and I had this feeling that I cannot keep going on living a lie. So I told my twin sister, Rosalie, she really wasn't surprised because I never had a girlfriend. Then I told my parents, Carlisle and Esme, and that was a very hard day in the Cullen household. My mother would not stop crying for several days after I told them, but once that ended, our relationship has gotten better. But dad on the other hand was a complete shock. He told me that he was proud of me for being to true to myself and to them. Once everything was done, I felt like I could finally breathe. So I am now out, but I do not flaunt it.

Now, we come to my problem at hand, me being a pussy and not talking to my very hot classmate, Jasper Hale. I've had a crush on Jasper since the beginning of the semester. He is just so damn gorgeous and smart. He has bright blonde curly hair and ice blue eyes. He is about 6'3 and the body of a god. I just want to……lick him.

I always do the coward's way out of this situation. Every time I get close to him, I immediately start to blush and my mouth goes dry. It is fucking humiliating!

Plus, I am not even sure that he is gay. I cannot just go up to him. ARGH! See what I mean? This is what I do every fucking time. I just talk my way out of it. I think part of the reason is that I never have done any type dating before. Isn't that sad, a 20 year old male that is a virgin, but even worse has never been on a date? Part of the reason for the no date thing was that I always didn't look the way that I do now.

Back in high school and in the beginning of college, I was overweight, had huge glasses, and not the best skin. So after my first of college, I started watching what I ate and got a gym membership. I lost about 80 pounds and I started gaining the muscle. Then I got contacts and luckily with watching what I ate my face cleared.

So I guess I still feel like I am the big, fat kid. My best friends, Bella and Emmett, tell me that I look handsome and sexy, but it is just so weird to hear after hearing that you fat and obese for most of your life. They keep encouraging me to go for Jasper and that I am worth it.

I really need to listen to them! I am worth it! You can't keep jacking off to the image of Jasper fucking you for the rest of your life!!!

I am going to do it. The next time I see Jasper Hale, I am going to talk to him.

I think this just as Jasper is walking by.

Okay, maybe not today, but definitely tomorrow.