Disclaimer: SM owned everything Twilight-related. I owned nothing.
Reposted chapter :) As I said, I wrote this for another site but I moved on from that. Fan Fiction is fun :)
Thank you to my amazing beta Izzzyy. Love you Iz :)
"Spaghetti with meatballs? Something is not right."
Completely ignoring his comment, Bella Swan continued grating cheese over her pasta. "Want some?"
"Maybe later," her roommate, Edward Cullen, replied, sitting on one of the four kitchen stools attached to the breakfast bar. "Heidi demanded a five-course meal, which she enjoyed with gusto, and no amount of dancing and sex can digest it off completely."
"She has that much of an appetite and yet looks that gorgeous? Sheer talent," Bella concluded with a pensive sigh then started eating. "Of course, no calorie would dare touch her. Some people are lucky that way. Luck. Hah. Where's luck when you needed it, anyway? Or do only perfect people have it? Friggin' favoritism."
Edward merely gave her a look. The kind of look that asked 'what the hell is going on with you?' yet Bella chose to ignore it. The last thing she wanted to do right then was to remember Eric. And what he was doing inside his apartment when she arrived. It didn't take a genius to know what the groaning and moaning meant. Especially when punctuated with a woman's screams of 'Oh Yesssss! More! Deeper! Yesssss Eric!' But she stupidly decided to open the door using the key he'd given her a month before, hoping against hope to see something completely different, like Eric watching porn where the actor just happened to have the same name. But when she walked in, that hope vanished. Eric, in all his naked glory, was mounted over someone like a dog in heat, undoubtedly getting it on with a familiar-looking blonde on the carpeted floor of his living room. His eyes were closed and he was grunting so loudly he did not even hear her come in. And Bella just stood there clutching her chest in disbelief. It felt like everything suddenly appeared in slow motion. Even Eric's thrusting could have been funny if her heart hadn't been breaking. She lost whatever voice she had and couldn't even manage a yelp of protest.
God, she was such a loser.
"No you're not."
Bella glanced at Edward and realized that she'd actually said that aloud. To her housemate, who had never − not even once − experienced that sort of thing. Women gravitated towards him like moths to a flame. Tall, leanly muscular and movie-star gorgeous, Edward would always be the quintessential hunk. One look at the man's unexplainable-but-definitely-chick-magnet bronze hair, or his piercing green eyes fringed with unbelievably long and thick eyelashes, and the female species all over the planet would go nuts. He could literally have anyone he wanted, and right then the chosen one was a French-American goddess, known to most as supermodel Heidi Bradley. Her bikini-clad body had been on numerous billboards and magazine covers for everyone to see and her hand-me-downs sold for thousands of dollars on E-bay.
Besides their complementing perfect looks, the couple apparently enjoyed a fantastic sex life as well. The model bragged about it in FHM, calling Edward her very own Energizer Bunny.
Bella snorted at the thought. Of course. Favoritism, remember? The perfect ones would often be the lucky ones in everything and anything. Like being famous, eating too much without gaining any weight, having a fabulous sex life...yada, yada, yada. I'm so bitter. God!
Jessica, her researcher/friend, endlessly teased Bella about having an "Energizer Bunny" for a roommate. Of course, beneath the teasing, Jessica was just plain envious. As expected, her researcher was into Edward too. So much so that Jess would insist on dropping by her place almost daily and would stay until the wee hours of the morning, hoping Bella would ask her to sleep over which would never happen. Unbeknownst to her researcher, Bella and Edward had a couple of Housemate Agreements – and Rule Number One was No Sleep Overs Of Any Kind. Translation: No lover, family or friends were allowed to spend the night. Simply put, kindly have sex in your lover's house, not here. If either of them had a relative coming, they booked him/her/them a hotel. If a friend was in crisis, they were to be supportive somewhere else.
The agreement may have sounded cold, but it worked. The house was their sacred place, and it would always remain that way. It's not like their arrangement wasn't unusual enough as it was. A man and a woman not romantically involved but living in one house, up to this day, remained a constant curiosity among their respective peers; the male dominated group of Edward's friends, mostly people from the bar and a couple of sports pals he remained in contact with, and Bella's writer and publisher friends. An ex-NFL Quarterback turned bar-owner and a children's book author sharing a house would often be questioned. Add the gender and personality differences and it was quite mind-boggling, but they did get along – better than everybody expected.
Who would have thought that a random ad she published three years ago would bring someone like Edward? Bella had lived alone after her parents moved to Florida and sold their family home. The Swans were originally from Forks, Washington, but when her Dad retired from being the town's Chief of Police and opted to live in a warmer climate, for his arthritis he jokingly told her, they decided to move to Jacksonville, where Renee's only brother Phil and his family lived. They didn't leave her high and dry, though. They ensured that their only child was settled comfortably by buying her a two-bedroom apartment in Seattle as a graduation gift.
The purchase didn't even make a dent in her mother's inheritance. The Dwyer twins (as her Dad fondly called her Mom and Uncle Phil) decided to sell the chain of convenience stores that they inherited from their own parents and split the money. Then they all went vacationing in Europe. Bella fondly smiled recalling how much fun that was. She suddenly missed Alice, her cousin who was in Paris working as a designer for Louis Vuitton. Life was more fun with Alice around.
It had been her cousin's fault that she'd gotten a male housemate in the first place. Alice volunteered to place the ad for her when she told her how lonely living alone could be, especially now with Charlie and Renee living in another state. She'd gotten used to sharing a room with someone back in college. To actually own a big house with just her, well, it drove Bella nuts. Imagine her surprise when a week later Edward came knocking on her door asking to talk to her boyfriend Izzy Swan.
Whatever evil thought that prompted Alice to write her name as Izzy instead of Bella on that ad had brought her Edward Cullen. Admittedly Bella hadn't thought about the possibility of having a male roomie, but there was something about the ex-NFL player that made her feel at ease. Maybe it was Edward's way of looking directly into her eyes when they talked. It could also be because her Dad, who was an excellent judge of character, was a huge fan of the injured NFL player. Whatever the exact reason was, she immediately liked him. The no-malice, totally platonic kind of like.
He was apologetic when she told him she was Izzy and she was the one looking for a housemate. Edward told her that if she was willing to accept a male roomie, and if it wouldn't cause her any awkwardness or discomfort, he would really like to push through renting. He was willing to accommodate any conditions on her part. Apparently his about-to-open bar was just a block away from her apartment and the second floor of the building he bought, which he originally planned on renovating to be his home, became a much-needed stock and supply room instead. His dwindling funds ruled out buying a place of his own, and he would die before asking for help from his parents. Oh-kay. Touchy subject, moving on.
She told him she'd think about it. Also known as seeking advice from Alice and her parents.
Alice said: "Hell yeah! Live a little, Bella."
Renee asked if he was as handsome in person as he appeared to be on TV. Go Mom. Way to prioritize your concerns.
Charlie was more practical, at least after gushing over Edward for a full minute: "I'll call in a favor and run a background check on him, and then I'll get back to you, sweetie."
Sheesh. But she was always a Daddy's girl, so she waited. And when he assured her that Edward had not murdered, raped or molested anybody, she got her answer. It didn't hurt that nobody else came to see the house. So Edward moved in a week later, and they'd been living together ever since.
Perfection and loser, together under one roof.
Bella sighed. "I am."
"You are not a loser, Bella," Edward insisted, reaching over her plate to pick up a meatball and take a small bite of it. He made an appreciative sound as he chewed. Bella's spaghetti with meatballs was out of this world.
Pushing her plate towards Edward, the brunette pleadingly groaned. "Please ignore me."
"Meaning you don't want to talk about it, huh?"
She watched him eat for a full minute before answering."I'd most likely blab about it non-stop for days anyway, being the over-analytic psycho that I am, but not now. It still hurts too much."
Edward wisely shut his mouth. Three years of living together let him know the woman beside him really well, and the way to handle an upset Bella was to give her some "quiet time." He gave Bella's plate his undivided attention for a while, ignoring his still-full stomach's protests. When everything was all gobbled up, he straightened and unceremoniously reached out to give the all-too-silent woman beside him a hug.
Quiet time was over.
Bella, as if on cue, burst into tears. Edward patiently listened as she cried her eyes out and haltingly talked about Eric Yorkie. Eric was her two-timing boyfriend whom she caught doing it with his next door neighbor. Out of respect for her, he kept his opinion of Eric to himself, but he did think Bella could do better than a dull accountant who sniffed weirdly and "resembled that funny guy in Ally McBeal," to quote Bella's quirky researcher, Jessica. Contrary to how she saw herself, Bella was very pretty. The long, naturally wavy dark-brown hair and chocolate-brown eyes, plus her alabaster skin, were a deadly combination. One could get lost in those tresses and eyes. And Bella had a perfect complexion; Heidi had told him weeks ago, after meeting Bella for the first time, that she could model for Neutrogena. Some of his male friends actually wanted to date her, but aside from the obvious fact that she was taken, Edward wouldn't have any of it. He knew those men well − so well that he was keeping Bella as far away from them as possible.
"You know, I have a theory about why Eric cheated on me."
Looking down at Bella's tear-stained face, Edward mentally braced himself for what was to come. His housemate did indeed have a tendency to dwell too much on subjects that needn't be taken seriously. In his opinion, Eric had actually done Bella a favor. Then again, that was his opinion and he was thinking like a man. To a woman in love, getting cheated on was like a million slaps in the face.
"And what is that?" He regretted the question the minute the first word emerged from his mouth. Do not encourage her to expound on that, you idiot!
"It has everything to do with my unbroken hymen," Bella replied with a loud sniff before moving out of his embrace.
God, no. Not this stuff. He was the last person that Bella should be talking to when it comes to this!
Edward tried to recall every single female friend of hers that he could call but failed. The quirky Jessica fleetingly crossed his mind but he immediately nixed it. Most likely she'd tell Bella to sleep around and to hell with Eric. The latter part was a good enough suggestion but to have random sex just to prove a point to a cheating boyfriend was not. Her cousin Alice came to Edward's mind but again Alice often complained about Bella's single-mindedness with her commitment to Eric. So there was a high chance she too would advise Bella to take the revenge sex route. He cleared his throat uneasily. It was during these situations he wished he had siblings.
"Eric, obviously, was in need of a more intimate relationship with a woman. And Lauren Mallory lived conveniently close and was willing to give it to him. So he cheated," Bella continued, looking at nothing in particular, too engrossed with her thoughts to notice how uneasy the man beside her was. "Why would he stay loyal to a girlfriend whose idea of passion was a tongueless kiss when he could bang his next door neighbor whenever?"
Edward cringed a little hearing too much information about a subject that he preferred to not know at all. He couldn't even imagine Bella and Eric kissing. "Um, Bella...I don−"
"He did try to touch me you know. Under my blouse one time while we were watching a movie but I got so nervous I actually slapped his wandering hand away," the woman interrupted. "Of course if I didn't have this friggin hymen I would've gladly let him grope me. Perhaps even inside my bra."
Edward wanted to cover his ears and hum loudly like a child who refused to listen. "Are you by any chance drunk?"
Bella finally turned to give him a look. "No! I don't drink, remember, because I'm allergic to liquor of any kind."
Right. Damn. "What exactly is your point? That your hymen is the reason why Eric cheated?"
"Yes!" the brunette vehemently agreed, "Because it's the vagina's conscience!"
Edward wished he was drunk. "Bella I'm not the right−"
"On the contrary, you are the perfect person to talk about this," Bella interrupted once again, holding both of his hands to most likely trap him into listening to her talk about her fucking hymen. It was either that, or she somehow sensed his plan to cover his ears and hum loudly.
"You see, Edward, between you and I, you're the one with the most experience. Duh, heartbroken virgin in the room." She managed to roll her eyes at him before continuing her crazy rant, "And you will never lie to me so answer this: Let's say you meet two different women in your bar, both gorgeous, both sexy, both willing to have sex with you. But the catch is one of them is a virgin. Who will you choose to bed?"
"If a great fuck is just what I'm looking for, I'd choose the non-virgin. But if I'm looking for a possible hook-up that can turn into a relationship, I'd still choose the non-virgin."
"Figures." Bella nodded. "That's exactly my point, Edward! Eric obviously had the relationship thing going with me, but a great f...er, sexual partner I'm not. So he strayed. I couldn't give him the physical side that he was craving because I still have my hymen intact. And the hymen urged me to do the right thing, however outdated it may sound, and that was to have it broken during my wedding night. Not only did my hymen guard my virginity, it also served as the conscience that nagged me to do the right thing."
Over thinking was never good.
"Hate to ruin your hymen theory, Bella, but I think the reason why you couldn't do it with Eric was because you didn't really love him."
"Of course I love him!" She paused for a minute then made a face. "Loved him I mean."
"Right, that's why you couldn't even French kiss the man." Not that he could blame Bella for it. No woman in her right mind would French kiss Eric. He sighed.
"Basically you're just not ready yet for physical intimacy. Just accept it."
Bella let go of his hands. "It's my hymen, Edward. I tell you; once it's broken everything will fall into place. Even French kissing will feel right."
"So follow your hymen and go marry someone and get rid of it," he told her exasperated with the topic.
"No, I won't marry ASAP. What a ridiculous thought! Have you been listening at all? The boyfriend cheated on me, I'm completely heartbroken and I'm gonna do something about it," Bella exclaimed with a determined nod then straightened. "I'll just bid adieu to my hymen."
Edward gave her a look as if she'd grown two heads or something. "What?"
"I'll lose my virginity and live unafraid from now on. With a broken hymen, I'd be free to enjoy my sexuality to the fullest. No more holding back, no more slapping of wandering hands... and yes, a date filled with lots and lots of French kissing too."
Now why would that bother him? It shouldn't, really. She was twenty-four years old, for fuck's sake. She could do whatever she wanted. And if French kissing every minute or fucking senseless whoever she fancied was the lesson she learned from a failed relationship, then so be it.
So be it.
Bella needn't look too hard for willing partners, though; within his group of friends alone they would certainly jump for a chance to fuck her senseless. Edward frowned a little then scowled at the thought. Bella's too wholesome, too pure to sleep around. She couldn't even say the word "fuck" for God's sake!
"And you will help me Edward."
Over his dead body. There's no way in hell he'd help Bella look for Mister Hymen Breaker, Deflowerer Extraordinaire. Much less for future fuck buddies. "Leave me out of this."
Bella took a deep breath. "No. I need you Edward."
"No you don't."
The brunette nodded. "Yes, I do."
Edward scowled at her. "You want that hymen broken then you do the searching. I won't look for you Bella!"
"There's no need to look. I know the perfect man to break it for me."
If possible, Edward's scowl turned fiercer. "Then tell him yourself. Don't pull me into this."
"I'm about to. But he's still too busy being negative about it to listen."
A full second passed before the entire meaning of what Bella said registered in his mind. And when it did, he gaped at her in shock.
The virgin smiled at him.
"I want you to break my hymen, Edward. I want you to be my first."
I am the honored Hymen Breaker.
I am the Deflowerer Extraordinaire.