My first fic! I saw a request on Glee Kink Meme for a Purt fic involving the phrase "Did you just call me princess?! You do realize that I have a f*cking penis, right?!", so I thought I'd give it a whirl. I apologise for any Britishisms, I've done my best with the Americanisation. If anyone want to beta to Americanise it, please let me know. :-)

Disclaimer: Glee is clearly not mine. If it was, Mark Salling would not be allowed clothes and Chris Colfer would get all the solos.


The first time Puck handed Kurt a slushee, he was confused. He was far more used to receiving a slushee facial from that particular footballer. But as the days went by it a kind of routine established itself - the dumpster dives (which had ceased shortly after Puck joined Glee) were replaced by a slushee handed over every day. Kurt realised that his butt may shortly resemble a slushee if he kept drinking them, but drank them nonetheless. Part of him was just keen to avoid the pummelling he was worried might come his way if he rejected Puck's offered hand of friendship, but part of him enjoyed the fact that Puck took time out of his day to do something nice for him.

He noticed after a few weeks that Puck would discreetly watch him slurp the icy drink - this puzzled him at first, but, like everything, he got used to it.

A few weeks later still, he decided to put on a bit of a show - not just drinking the slushee, but licking the straw, swirling it in his mouth, and then draining the cup. The brainfreeze was totally worth the look on Puck's face, who rapidly turned and heading towards the boy's bathroom.

The next day Puck brought two slushees; one for Kurt, one for himself. As they sat at opposite ends of the cafeteria, kurt watched as Puck silently attempted to outdo each Kurt's previous performance.

Kurt assumed it was just some macho jock "make the queer kid uncomfortable" thing. So he gave it back as good he got, resolutely attempting to give his slushee straw the best blowjob it had ever received.

Kurt finished his drink, but as he left the cafeteria, he felt a strong hand grab his wrist and pull him towards the janitor's closet. He yielded, unsurprised to see Puck towing him along. He was bundled into the closet, and the door closed behind him.

Assuming he was about to be berated for his obvious homosexuality, he looked up.

The mohawked boy's nose was about an inch from his own.

"Hummel, what the fuck are you doing to me? You strut about this place like you own it, swaying your hips like you doing the fucking macerena. Do you even know how horny you make me?"

Kurt was struck dumb. Noah Puckermann, the school stud, wanted him? After years of slushee facials and dumpster dives, that was the last thing expected. And to his surpise, he was more than a little turned on. This guy could have any girl he wanted, and he wanted Kurt Hummel.

"Hummel? For fuck's sake, say something." The angry gleam in Puck's eyes had gone, to be replaced by (as far as Kurt could tell in the dark) a look of worry.

He didn't know what made him do it, perhaps that moment of Puck's self-doubt had given him the nerve - Kurt grabbed the other boy by the back of his mohawk, and pulled his lips down to meet his own.

After a moment of panic, Kurt felt the taller boy return the kiss. Hands moved everywhere as they explored each other's bodies. Kurt could feel Puck's hardness press against him, as his own erection began to grow.

Puck began to move his kissed down Kurt's neck and along his collar bone, murmuring barely audibily as he did so. Kurt caught one word, though. He placed his hands on Puck's shoulders and shoved him firmly against the wall.

"Did you just call me princess?! You do realize that I have a fucking penis, right?!"

Puck's response was to chuckle and slide his hand inside Kurt's briefs and do a brief physical exam.

"Oh yes, sweetheart. And I plan on being fairly initmate with it very soon."

His fingers closed around Kurt's cock. He deftly undid the skinny jeans covering it, pushing them and boxers to the floor as he knelt down in front of the smaller boy.

Kurt's mind was in turmoil. What had started out a kiss had turned into being jerked off in a closet. At school! Then he felt the footballer's mouth close about his cock, and all thoughts went out the window.