All similarities, and/or likeness to The Twilight Saga, including Midnight Sun, are the sole property of Stephenie Meyer. This includes characters, story lines, and dialogue, or direct quotes. All musical references, or quotes, are the direct property of the Musician and/or Author(s) that created them. I do NOT profit in any way, and all creative rights to the characters/lyrics belong to their original
creator(s). However, this FanFic is ALL MINE (Lilith617: March 2010)
BIG THANK YOU to my beta-extraordinaire ShamelesslyObsessed, for taking the time to make this PERTY!
Also, BIG thank you to queenxochitl, and Moochini for pre-reading and sharing your thoughts.
This story is a TWIST on the original. It will be OOC canon, with major deviations.
This is NOT the Twilight you are used to...be prepared ;)
WARNING this story is rated M because it is just that, MATURE.
If you find obscene language, and sexual situations offensive DO NOT read on.
DISCLAIMER: THE BELLA IN THIS STORY IS NOT THE BELLA YOU ARE USED TO. THIS STORY IS OOC FOR A REASON...KEEP THAT IN MIND WHEN READING. IF ITS NOT YOUR SORT OF THING THEN CLICK ON THAT LITTLE 'X' IN THE UPPER RIGHT HAND CORNER. For those of YOU that are interested. I'd like to formerly introduce you to Cursella =)
"Did you think it's cool to walk right up
To take my life and fuck it up
Well did you?
I HATE YOU
I've slept so long without you
It's tearing me apart, too
How'd it get this far,
Playing games with this old heart?
I've killed a million petty souls,
But I couldn't kill you.
I've slept so long without you.
I see Hell in your eyes
Taken in by surprise
Touching you makes me feel alive
Touching you makes me die inside…"
Slept So Long: Jay Gordon
1. First Sight
If there were such a place, this was it.
Even if I wanted to, I could not escape the mundane, tedium that was Forks High. Especially not today.
Today the monotony was ever present; erupt with the surge of voices, both internal and external. Each one on repeat, saying or picturing the new addition to our shit hole of a school.
I had seen him through the majority of the female population's thoughts. An ordinary human male. One that had already been married off, involved in a threesome, and spanked- to name a few. These were the asinine thoughts plaguing the weak-minded folk here in good old Forks, Washington.
Most of these voices I ignored, basically out of boredom, but today no matter what I did the voices rang in my head like a siren call- not allowing me any reprieve.
I stared, consumed with the grooved indentation my black lacquered nail had been carving in the wooden desk below me, completely unaware of my actions. I quickly looked around, making sure that no one had seen my doing.
As always, everyone was oblivious. Not one daring to look in my direction as I watched them pile in the door, rushing to their seats before the final bell rang. Jessica Stanley, or Skank-ley, as I preferred to call her, along with her dimwit friend Lauren Mallory, took their seats in front of me. Talking about…what else?
"Have you seen him, the new guy?" Lauren asked Jessica, flinging her corn-silk, blonde hair over her shoulder, awaiting Jessica's nasally reply. A tidal wave of pungency flew in my direction and I quickly held my breath, dropping my head and allowing the thickness and the smell of strawberries that wafted from my hair to curtain some of the obnoxious blow. The rotten combination of Lauren's perfume, mixed with the undesirable scent of her blood, made me want to regurgitate the elk blood that still sat laden in my stomach.
I moaned in protest, keeping my head hidden as the bell rang, leaving me no other option but to endure the torment I was being dealt. Reluctantly, I opted to hold my breath- something I rarely did in school for fear of looking inhuman- and tried to relax; settling in for what would probably be the longest hour of my existence.
"Hello, Jess. I'm talking to you." Lauren waved what was supposed to be a perfectly manicured hand before Skank-ley's face, finally gaining her attention.
"Oh, yeah. The new guy…he is totally fuck-able, what's his name again?" Jessica asked, not surprising me in the least with her reference. Of course she thought he was 'fuck-able'. In fact, that was all she was thinking and had been thinking.
This poor human was merely a sheep amongst wolves and he didn't even know it.
"His name is Edward Masen. He's the new Police Chiefs son. Apparently, he just moved here from Phoenix. Though it sure doesn't look like it. He's pale as shit," Lauren said leaning into Jessica, whispering into her ear, "He could probably pass for a Cullen," she snickered, nodding towards my direction. I had all I could not to rip her throat out where she sat. In addition, as if that wasn't enough, I now had a name to go with the nauseating vision's Skank-ley's mind was currently assaulting me with.
A part of me, though extremely small, was starting to feel bad for this newcomer. He had already fucked Skank-ley in every orifice imaginable and the poor guy didn't even get to enjoy it. Just like Skank-ley- that selfish whore was known to reap all the benefits in her conquests.
Thankfully, Mr. Varner brought the class to attention, but that still didn't stop the onslaught coming from the sleazebag twins, it merely intensified them as they succumbed to their fantasies mentally.
Their thoughts were like a stabbing migraine. The more they sat in silence, the more vile imagery spewed my way. I tried in vain to clear my head of their incessant voices, reciting the alphabet in every language I had known, followed with the first two chapters of Wuthering Heights. But even that couldn't quiet their internal squabbling. By the time I had begun Shakespeare's Othello, I became amazed at just how well there attention to the detail of this newcomer had been, especially given the fact that they didn't have a functioning brain cell between them.
"Give me a fucking break," I mumbled under my breath, massaging my temples as visuals of this Edward hit me now from every angle. I had seen his face, his ass. What appeared to be reddish-brown hair? A lean, tall stature…
There was nothing special about him; he was mediocre at the least. Just a normal, human, seventeen-year-old, boy. I couldn't understand what the big fucking deal was.
The ache in my head grew exponentially as the repetitive expectations of the poor schmuck continued to ooze from these mindless drones. It seemed the whole fucking school was wetting their pants for this walking piece of decaying flesh, even the guys!
"Mr. Varner?" I raised my hand, head down as I felt the whole class shift their sorry asses to see the pale, mute girl finally speak. I clenched my teeth, trying to block out the trivial thoughts surrounding me,
"Yes, Miss Cullen?" Mr. Varner's lean figure went from lax to rigid within seconds. I looked up at him hoping to further his discomfort as he backed himself against the blackboard, showing him a sliver of a smile.
...What is wrong with this girl? Why is it that she needs to look at me as if I am something to eat?
I laughed silently, feeding off his obvious fear.
"May I be excused, sir? I am not feeling…quite myself."
...Pssh. When does she ever?
A lone male thought entered my head, and I quickly looked around to see just whom would dare test me, before looking back at Mr. Varner. Unbeknownst to me, he had been dismissing me, rudely, with his hand.
I left the classroom in a hurry. My head down, humming the piece I had been working on earlier this morning on my piano. I quickly strode through the hallway, walking towards the parking lot. My car, my safe haven, already in my line of sight through the open doorway. I took an unneeded deep breath as I exited the building, pausing for a second as I heard my name.
"That my dear friend is Bella Cullen. But, I'll tell you now, so you avoid heartbreak. Don't even waste your time, bro. She doesn't date. Apparently none of the guys here are good-looking enough for her. But, damn, what I wouldn't give…"
His revolting oily face, with pubescent pimples, flickered behind my clenched eyelids. I turned around to see whom exactly he was word vomiting on but luckily missed them as they rounded the corner behind me, heading towards the Cafeteria.
With the loud offensive ding of the bell, signaling that class had ended, I continued toward my car stopping midway before turning back towards the school- contemplating on joining my siblings for our usual prop lunch, and maybe to further eavesdrop on Newton's thoughts...even if repulsive. I was slightly curious as to who he had been talking shit to. No doubt this Edward person. Might as well enjoy some entertainment, right? See what the supposed 'fuck-able' Edward had to say in return?
I thought better of the idea as I got closer to the Cafeteria building.
…Edward Masen. Oh. My. God…
…Look at his eyes, they're gorgeous. Maybe I should say Hi…
…I wonder if he has a girlfriend.
"Ugh! Forget it." I threw my hands up in disgust, and for the second time today began the walk back to the parking lot.
...Bella, did you see the new guy? I groaned, as a familiar mental voice alerted me. Reflex action. I turned facing my sister, Alice. Her arm tightly wrapped around her mate, Jasper. She was wearing her ever present grin, her lithe frame practically tip toeing on air, as Jasper's lips held a firm line-fighting to maintain normalcy as well as his instinctual hunger.
I sighed. He was suffering, still finding Carlisle's diet hard to live by. Not that I didn't want to rip the jugular from some of these assholes throats myself and savor a real meal...I just couldn't, out of respect for my family, specifically Carlisle.
I stopped, eyeing Alice dejectedly, a snarl escaping my lips as they made there way to the center of the parking lot where I stood. "Please, not you too?" I asked pained, trying to avoid staring at Jasper for too long, something I had been doing more often as of late. I blame it solely on the fact that I still am the only vampire in my coven without a mate. I have needs. Needs that are difficult to meet…by myself. And with the shortage of male vampires in the area and all, what is a girl to do?
I know, who would have guessed, right?
Believe me when I say I have even gone as far as thinking of going the whole succubus route. I had even gotten as far as strategizing. Going to remote towns, far from Forks, scouring for men, my soon to be prey. Believe me, I have, unbeknownst to Carlisle of course.
However, right as I am about to go for it...I stop. I just don't trust myself with human men, not in a sexual way. And besides, I have never had a human, no less a human male, intrigue me enough for me to even think of fucking him.
The same cant be said for Tanya, Kate, and Irina- three of my distant relatives. They take pride in their catch, maintaining control at all times. They find human men irresistible, leaving them insatiable. They thrive on the hunt and bask in their rewards.
"Whatever do you mean?" Alice asked, pulling me from my stupor. Her voice always had an airiness and playful quality to it, her sarcasm not lost on me though.
Alice knew full well the shit I had to deal with on a daily basis; having to listen to the pathetic excuse of humanity that walked these halls. Now add in this new development, and I was literally drowning in shit.
It was torture, and not the good kind.
The fact was: I hated high school.
No matter how many times I repeated it. I still fucking hated it.
I hated the teachers, the students. I even hated the damn mascot.
But, what I hated the most, more than anything? Was being able to hear everyone's goddamn thoughts...
All. The. Time.
It was like being stabbed with an ice pike, repeatedly. It was like a song you just couldn't get out of your head. It was never ending…and, today was the absolute worst.
Today I was a hairs breadth away form hopping a plane to Italy, and going before the Volturi. Maybe if I provoke them, somehow, they may just rip my fucking head off and then finally I'd have some peace and fucking quiet.
"Screw you, Alice," I spat as I began walking away. I could feel Jasper trying to send calming waves in my direction but to no avail. I spun around on my heels, scratching the asphalt below, scowling at the honey blond man snickering before me.
"You empathic fuck! Why don't you send something more enjoyable my way, hmm?" I muttered under my breath, knowing both Alice and Jasper heard me. "Like lust. How 'bout that? Then you and I can play rodeo, and you can be my steer," I cooed, pointing my index finger at him before yelling with the worst fake southern drawl possible. "Yee-ha, Motherfucker." I began to make an imaginary lasso, throwing it at a now smirking Jasper, pretending to reel him in.
"Bella, please. So…I take it you're not going to lunch then, are you?" Alice scowled, swallowing hard as she ignored my continued blatant disrespect. "Come on, aren't you the least bit curious?"
"Nope, now fuck off," I sneered, giving her my middle finger, as I turned back towards my car keeping my finger high up in the air until I opened the driver side door to enter.
Once inside my comfort zone, I let the soft leather consume me. Turning on the new stereo that Emmet, my darling brother so kindly installed for me over the weekend, I slipped my Debussy CD in the slot, turning the volume knob to full blast. I sat, engrossed in the composition surrounding my senses for the better part of the hour before turning it off, basking in the silence that followed.
I was a distance away from the school, not close enough to hear the unwelcome buzzing. But, of course, just like my life, I could never catch a break.
As the first bell rang, I dragged myself from my warm confines, making my way back to the building. Two more classes and I could escape this hellhole.
I could see Alice, alone. A knowing smile on her face as she walked across the quad to her next class.
...You should have come to lunch, Bella. This Edward is quite delectable to look at...
"So I've heard, " I mumbled as a low growl rose up my chest. I picked up my pace, separating myself further from my pixie of a sister and what appeared to be her jumbled thoughts, until I heard them go silent.
Without hesitation, I twirled around to see my sister dead where she stoo, her face void of all emotion as she stared off into space, eyes glazed over.
I ran to her side as fast as was humanly possible, gripping her small upper arms once I reached her.
"Alice, I'm sorry. I was only kidding about Jasper earlier. You know that, right? "
I had been kidding, hadn't I?
Suddenly my stomach knotted. Had I made a decision to betray my sister and sleep with her mate? Oh, god. I could never.
I bit my nails nervously, a human trait that had never left me, chipping away the black polish from its exterior. It was only a few minutes that Alice was "out" before she came to, but it had felt like an eternity.
"Bella?" she asked, looking at me inquisitively, "I think…I think you should go home. You're having a bad day today anyway, it's only fair."
Confused, I glared at her trying to comprehend what she was saying.
"Go home? Alice, you know I can't do that. With all the days we miss already, and Carlisle-"
"No, Bella. You're not understanding," she said through clenched teeth as students passing by watched our odd display. "Something is going to happen, Bella. I saw it. But it's…it's blurry," she looked around the quad; most of the students were in the buildings, heading to their designated classes.
"Our lives are about to change, Bella. Irrevocably. Your's the most," her words trailed off into a whisper, a whisper that only I could hear. I stood there dumbfounded as she began to walk away.
"What the fuck does that mean, Alice?" I all but yelled as she shrugged, returning to her normal exuberant self.
I bit my lip nervously, again another human trait that failed to leave me. I stood, alone, in the center of the quad frustrated with what Alice had said. I followed her with my eyes as she disappeared into the building leaving me with nothing more than another one of her vague predictions.
I adored my sister, with every bit of my being but sometimes her visions could be so ambiguous. Like the one time-
"Excuse me, Miss Cullen. Shouldn't you be getting to class?" I whipped my head around to find an unwavering Mr. Berty staring back at me. His arms wrapped across his chest, a huge grin on his face. I watched in disgust as he licked his lips wantonly.
"Yes, Mr. Berty," I hissed through gritted teeth, as his thoughts lingered on seeing my naked flesh beneath his pendulous abdomen.
I swallowed back the venom that had accumulated in my throat, gagging at the rancid hallucinations he was having. I quickly turned on my heel, heading back to building four, which I should have already been in, reciting the alphabets all over again.
A, Be, Se, De…
Biology was always an interesting class for me, I actually looked forward to watching a spastic Mr. Banner stumble over his words, not that I helped with that in any way. As usual, Mr. Banner was fishing through a stack of unorganized papers on his desk. And as usual, he was unable to find the sheet of paper that contained the lecture notes for the day. I slowly breezed by him, allowing my scent to linger over him like a mist, distracting him for more than a few seconds. When I sat in my seat, I looked up to see that I had accomplished my goal indeed. Mr. Banner had been dazzled. I loved doing that shit to him.
I watched the bustle of students entering as Mr. Banner shook off the remnants of my spell. Cringing when Mr. All-American himself, Mike Newton, eyed me immediately upon entering. He took his seat beside oil slick haired, Eric Yorkie and within seconds their conversation was about none other than…who else?
Can this day get any worse?
Stupid question, of course it can. Because right at that moment the man in question entered the room, trickling in with the remainder of the tardy students.
…Great, even Bella finds something interesting in him…isn't it enough that half the girls in the school are swooning over him, now my Bella has to, too?
Fiercely, I looked at Newton who caught my glare and immediately lowered his head. I turned my attention back to the ill-famed human before me, trying to ascertain exactly what was so special about him.
I watched him hand Mr. Banner his schedule and laughed as Mr. Banner failed to locate his pen. He was standing off to Mr. Banner's side, his head slightly bowed as he watched Mr. Banner dubiously.
I had not seen his face yet, but then again, I wasn't paying much attention. What I could see, or chose to see from his profile was that his jaw was much defined, full of at least a days worth of stubble. His lips pouted as he shifted uncomfortably from foot to foot. His already taut jaw tightening, clenching more as his impatience grew.
Finally, Mr. Banner found his pen, signing the small sheet of white paper before handing it back to Edward. He was thinking of where to place him, glancing around the room until his eyes inadvertently stopped on the empty stool beside me.
I sighed heavily, moving the empty stool that sat next to me as far away as possible-without pushing it completely into the aisle. When I looked back up, Mr. Wonderful was facing forward, gazing in my direction. His face alight with the prospect of sitting next to the girl with the milky complexion, I'm sure.
I could hear each person's thought in the room. Each one centered on the pale boy before them, their thoughts spewing like bile. Curious, I tried to zero in on his internal voice, but was met with silence. I easily heard him speaking with Mr. Banner, his tone smooth, masculine. I used what I heard and tried to pinpoint his thoughts more clearly, placing the external voice with the internal.
That's strange. I thought, mildly disappointed, as I pulled my lower lip between my teeth, somewhat frustrated. I peered towards the front of the classroom where Edward was still speaking to Mr. Banner. They were both laughing, talking about insignificant bullshit.
It was then, as I began to completely scrutinize him, that I really saw him. Skank-ley and Ho-Bag's memories didn't do the human boy any justice at all. His hair was bronze, a coppery brown with red highlights. Each strand unusually spiked and pointing in disarray. He was definitely tall, with broader shoulders than originally thought. He was no Emmett, but could definitely hold his own. His nose ended at a point, and he wore a partial smile on his face...a smirk.
I watched, awed of the human boy that had gotten my total attention, as he began to walk towards our table, stopping momentarily to talk to Newton as he did.
Without warning a feeling of need erupted within my stomach, setting of a slow building fire to course throughout my being.
Hello, Edward 'fuck-able'Masen…
Within seconds, my body began to feel like a furnace. My mouth salivated uncontrollably as a scent like no other filled the moist cavities of my nostrils. I closed my eyes, taking a long drag of the air through my nose. My eyes rolling before I opened them once more, roaming the small space to see exactly what it was that had me in such a tizzy. My body instinctively moved towards the aisle where Edward still stood talking with Newton. I was practically off my stool, my body alive with current. I tried to focus as Edward walked into the flow of heated air a vent was blowing in my direction.
It was him.
I gasped, unneeded, as his scent hit me like a wrecking ball, knocking me through loop after loop. There were no words to describe exactly what his scent was doing to me, none at all.
In that instant, I had lost all shred of what little humanity I held.
In that instant, the only thing that mattered was the sweet syrup that lined his veins and would soon coat my throat.
I was a predator, and he my prey.
I didn't care about the pathetic humans surrounding us. They were already collateral damage. I wouldn't even bother with their blood. A simple snap of their weak necks would suffice.
No, I just wanted his blood.
All. Of. It.
And, I wanted it NOW.
His thoughts meant absolutely nothing to me now as I envisioned my lips parted on the base of his neck, drinking from him, taking his essence into me while my hand gripped tightly in his obvious sex-hair.
His smell was eliciting more than just a hunger to feed, but a raw emotion, nothing I'd ever felt before. His scent was seductive. Pulling me in, consuming me completely.
Fucking human Incubus. Is that shit even possible?
If I had known that someone, with blood so sweet, with a scent so decadent, existed…I would have searched for him long ago.
My mouth was arid, even with the abundance of venom coating it. I tried to hold my breath as he took the stool beside me.
Yes, come sit next to the monster. I thought, licking his scent from my lips. I could just imagine the taste of him once I drank from…
A look of concern etched his brows. That face, saving him a few moments longer, as he moved a little closer to where I sat. Scratching the metal legs of the stool against the linoleum of the floor as he did so. I had to turn away, keeping one hand covering my mouth, as the other gripped the underside of the lab table before us.
I chanced a breath and his scent swirled around me, nearly causing me to leap from my stool. I gripped the underside of the table harder, splintering the wood, leaving indentations of my fingertips in the aftermath.
I knew what I had to do, as he stole glances of me through his periphery.
I had to kill him. And the rest of the students in the class.
I began plotting as Mr. Banner began his lecture, apparently finding the notes in question. I decided I would kill Edward last. Get rid of the collateral damage first. Besides, I wanted to do more than just drink from him. I wanted to feel him inside of me. I wanted to make his body quake from my touch, and not just from fear, but also from lust. I wanted to make him scream my name before I sank my teeth into his sweet, sweet, flesh.
Yes, the witnesses had to go first.
I decided I would begin with blocking the door. Yes, of course, I couldn't have anyone escape now could I? Then maybe, I would start with the right side of the room, in the back of course. Yes, then the left. By that time there would be utter chaos, of that I was fucking certain. But, I could snap four, maybe five necks before that really happened. And how many were in here again? Oh yes, twenty.
Fuck, my throat was on fire…
I stopped my scheming, just for a moment, when the incessant vibration of my cell phone interrupted not just me.
"Are you going to get that?" The fucker asked sarcastically, looking at me with revulsion.
That's right, baby. Hate. Me.
Not only was I an inch away from taking his pathetic human life, but now I had the sweet mint of his breath fanning over my skin, absorbing into my pores.
I dared not look at him, I dared not…
His eyes were piercing. Emerald stones encased by long, thick lashes glaring back at me. I moaned slightly, fire burning through my empty veins, my mewl causing him to gasp, dazzling the fucker for all he was worth.
Quickly, I grabbed my phone, opening the text that had been waiting- it was from Alice.
Please, Bella. Get out of there. Don't do this to Carlisle. I am waiting outside.
For one short second, I could see clearly. Seeing past the human beside me, and the helpless victims surrounding me. I could see two faces. The first being myself, or who I used to be. A red-eyed monster with a long list of rationalized, justified murders under my belt.
The other face was Carlisle's.
In a moment, everything that I had done, all the years spent with my creator, my father...would be non-existent. My eyes would glow red once more, as they should.
Even after all I had done, all the bullshit I had put my family through…Carlisle forgave me. And I knew that as fucked as it was, he would forgive me for what I was about to do now.
Alice was right. My life was about to change. But didn't I have say? Wasn't this not my twisted fucking existence, for me to decide my own fate?
I thought for a moment, with my breath still held tight. I looked to the boy beside me. His body hunched, head resting in the palm of his left hand, the other writing notes. I observed with a watering mouth the rapid pulsation just below the transparent flesh of his neck. I wanted so bad to just taste…
What the fuck was I thinking?
I couldn't kill these people. I couldn't kill Mr. Fuck-able.
No, I would not allow him to win
With my body wound tighter than my piano's wires, I looked away, focusing my attention on the rain that fell upon the window. When I looked to him again he was sitting upright, his face tautly stern as he held the bridge of his nose in clear frustration.
I needed to get out of here, sooner then later. Without a second thought, I raised my hand, interrupting Mr. Banners lecture. He along with the rest of the class looked at me confused.
"Mr. Banner, I don't feel very well. May I be dismissed?"
Mr. Banner's thoughts quickly turned to concern as he thought silently about the darkened circles surrounding my eyes. He shook his head, "sure, Bella. Feel better."
I rose from my seat feeling utterly defeated and ashamed, holding my breath as I made my way to the door, not stopping once to look back at the creature that had just brought a whirlwind of fuckery into my life.
And as I walked outside into the onslaught of rain, my sister leaning against my car waiting for me, I could not help but feel an all-consuming hatred wash over me with every drop.
Why me, why now?
Out of all the places, why here?
For one thing, I was sure: I fucking hated Edward Masen.
But, I would not let him ruin me. I also would not allow this monstrosity of a sickness control me either. I would not disappoint my family. I would not disappoint Carlisle.
Not now, not ever.
Please let me know what you think, as I am not a mind reader like some =) Depending on the response depends on the future of this story.
Also, please stop by queenxochitl profile, whom I have just began beta-ing for. Check out her first FanFic, "Tomb Robber" Its different and exciting...hurry and go, link is on my profile...hit that little green button first!