"You don't think we're too old to be doing this?"
I look at Edward in the mirror and roll my eyes with a sigh. "Edward, we're going to a club, not streaking across a football field." It's been about a month since he's been back from the clinic, and we thought we'd go out with Em, Alice, Rose, and Jasper – without the children – for a change. Lily and Aiden are going to be sleeping over my dad's house, so we will have the house to ourselves.
Edward comes to stand behind me and smirks down at me through the mirror. "Well, could you at least wear a longer dress?"
"Nope," I say, popping the 'p' as I continue straightening my hair.
His face falls. "Bella…I can see everything. I can see your fucking pussy right now," he all but growls.
I'm not going to fight about this. "One, no you can't, because I'm wearing underwear. And two, the only reason you can see up the dress is because I'm sitting on the ground with my legs open."
"You're wearing a fucking thong. That's barely underwear. You're not going out, let alone to a club, dressed like that."
I rais an eyebrow and smirk at him through the mirror. "You don't mind my thongs any other time."
"You're right. I don't mind them when they're for me. But your ass is gonna be hanging out of this dress. Change. Now."
"You are not going to tell me what I am and am not going to wear." You'd think after this many years, he would understand that.
He kneels down next to me, facing the mirror. He turns his head to look at me, and my heart sinks when I see the sad look in his eyes, his brows furrowed. "Bella, please," he whispers. "You know how I feel about…" He lets out a long sigh and looks down at his lap, collecting his thoughts. Though he's gotten better at it, he still has trouble expressing his feelings at times. He looks back up at me after a few seconds. "You know how I feel when other guys make passes at you. Or…look at you."
Of course I know how he feels. If not for the many times he's told me, I know because I feel the same way when other women look at him. I straighten the last strands of my hair and turn off the straightener before turning to him, smirking when he takes a quick peek up my dress before looking at me. "Edward, even if they do look, it means nothing. They may want me, but you have me." Same goes for him. Hypocrite. Ugh, shut up.
"I'm not trying to get another guy or something."
He closes his eyes and turns his head away, and I immediately wish I hadn't said that. But I've told him so many times – when I dress a certain way, it's not about him or about other guys.
"I know." He turns back and his eyes bore into mine, like green grass in brown soil. "That makes me feel worse."
"You dress this way for attention…"
I nod, and immediately I know where he's going with this. He's brought this up twice before, but the last time he mentioned it was years ago. "Edward –"
"Do I not give you enough attention? I try. I try to give you everything I have. Everything I feel inside."
"You do. Trust me, you give me more than I can ask for. I would never doubt your love for me. How could I? You do everything for me, for our kids, without a second thought." I don't know how many times I've told him this, but I will gladly remind him for the rest of your lives.
"Of course. You three are my world," he says, and I see a small smile playing on his lips. "But you know you don't need to do anything to get a man's attention. He would have to blind not to love you. Or deaf."
"Deaf?" I raise an eyebrow in question.
"If he doesn't fall in love with your looks, he'd fall in love with your personality."
I melt at the loving look in his eyes. My baby. I reach forward to hug him and he wraps his arms around me, surrounding me with the warmth of his body.
"I'm sorry. I'm not trying to control you. Wear whatever makes you happy."
I kiss his neck before sitting back on my heels. "Do you have any clue how much I love you?"
"Um…I may have an idea," he teases. I scrambled to my feet with a laugh and made my way over to the closet. "You're changing?" Edward asks, surprised.
"I love you."
"I love you, too," I smile at him. "Which is why I'm changing." If it still makes him feel that way about himself when I dress a certain way, then I'll change. If it's that important to him, it's important to me.
"Still gonna wear something sexy?"
"Yes," I giggle.
"Are there restrooms at this place?"
"I'm sure there are. There has to be." I look at him quizzically. Restrooms? Why?
"Good. Keep the thong on," he smirks.
"Edward!" My mouth drops open, though really, I'm not surprised at what he's implying.
He shrugs and turns to answer the door downstairs. Must be Emmett. "It's a place we haven't been to before, which means it's a place we've never had sex in before." He winks at me as he turns to go down the stairs, and my insides feel like jelly.
"Oh, my God. Your dad is such a hottie."
Hehehe…I've still got it.
"Ew! He's, like, old."
"So? Still a total babe."
I frown as I hear the conversation Lily is having with her friends. I make my way downstairs quickly, because frankly, I feel guilty overhearing the conversations she has with her friends.
"What's wrong?" Bella asks as she turns around from her place at the kitchen counter. I walk up to her and wrap my arms around her waist as she wraps her arms around mine.
"Our daughter just told Grace and Emily that I'm old." I know full well that I'm pouting, but I don't care. "I don't want to be old."
"Aw, baby, you're not old," Bella cajoles me as if I'm a child, and it makes me laugh.
"You don't count! You're forty."
She puts her hands on her hips and feigns anger. "And what is that supposed to mean?"
"You're old." She slaps my arm playfully and I rub it theatrically. "Ow!" I hold her arms by her sides and lean down to give her a chaste kiss. "Well, at least her friends think I'm hot."
"Edward! They're seventeen!" she scolds.
"So? A compliment is a compliment." I look down at her body. Still in pajamas. "Shouldn't you be getting ready to take Aiden to his hockey game?"
"Oops," she mutters, eyes wide. "I can't believe I forgot. I have a meeting scheduled with the hospital board today."
"Oookay. No problem." I walk over to the stairs and call for Lily.
I hear her walking out of her room. Her long brown hair bounces as she comes down the stairs. "Yeah?"
"Can you take Aiden to his game? I have to go into work. You'll have to pick up Ally and Jordan on the way." Aiden was on the same team as Alice and Jasper's daughter and Emmett and Rosalie's daughter. They got along pretty well for the most part, so they played well together.
"Ugh!" Lily rolls her eyes. "What about mom?"
"She has to go into work, too. And change the tone of your voice." I knew it was futile to tell her to change her tone. She'd be back at it two minutes later. It used to irk me to no end, but Bella said it was a part of adolescence.
"But we're going to Grace's house!"
"Grace, could you come down here, please?" I call upstairs. Grace comes down immediately, wide-eyed. She looks scared and I laugh internally. Does she think I'm going to yell at her? Of course I never would.
"Yes, Mr. Cullen?"
"Would it be alright if Lily came over in about thirty minutes? She has to bring Aiden to his game."
I smile at both of them, then look at Lil. "Problem solved."
"Ughhh, I hate you!" Lily turns and stomps up the stairs. Grace follows her.
I tell myself that she doesn't mean it. She hates me one minute and loves me the next. Bella says that's a part of adolescence as well, and when it comes to this stuff, I listen to Bella. Partly because she's a great therapist, and mostly because she just makes me feel a whole lot better.
A few minutes later, Aiden comes downstairs with his duffel bag full of hockey gear, and I wonder briefly if he'll ever realize the Devils are garbage and become a Rangers fan. Maybe I should tell Lily to try and convert him. But then…Bella would murder me.
The kids leave quickly, but not before kissing Bella and me goodbye and telling us they love us.
…And those kisses and "love you" are what I live for.
"You feeling okay?" Bella asks from behind me.
I turn to her with a smile. "Perfect."
"Good," she mirrors my smile.
I know she's asking about my cravings. That's usually what she means if she asks me out of the blue. Though it happens very rarely, I'll admit that I still crave the drug once in a while. But I just take it one day at a time. I would never even think of doing it again. I can't. It's been thirteen years. I've come too far to go back to that.
My life is too amazing for me to ruin it, and my family means too much for me to leave them or hurt them in any way. Of course Bella and I still argue about stupid things, but that's us, and I like it that way. I love it that way.
I take two steps toward Bella and cradle her face as I lean down to kiss her.
She looks up at me when I pull back. "What was that for?"
I shrug. "Just 'cause."
"I love you," she whispers.
"I love you, too. Always."
That's it! Thank you all so much for reading my story. (: Hopefully I'll start my next story soon, but you guys know it takes me forever to write a chapter. (Sorry about that. I'll try to be better next time.)