Author's Notes: Greetings, everyone! I'm back with a chapter devoted to my latest Anonymous reviewer, a cheerful fellow known as the Only Sane Person Left.
First off, I would like to reply to the viewer who was so kind enough to inspire me to write this!
Here was their first review (Four in total, all with the same thing, really), the funniest review(s) I'd ever read :D
Let me just say, this chapter made me sick.
I wanted to throw up all over my desk after reading this terrible piece of garbage. You need help, whoever you are. Not only was this bad, but you made various sexual references in other chapters that were not necessary and plainly uncalled for.
What the hell is wrong with you? Did you stop to think about the minds you may have scarred? The memories of Yoshi that are now permanently scarred with this shit? And of course, being the sick, twisted writer you are, you couldn't keep such a mind-scarring incident in one chapter, could you? No, you just had to make various references to this garbage in several later chapters.
What the hell persuaded you to write this? Do you have some sick obsession with taking video game characters and screwing them up? This is not the kind of thing that should ever be written. It shouldn't even be thought of. You even thinking of this, along with writing it on the internet, shows how much of a sick, twisted, messed up individual you really are. Every time you referenced this garbage, my anger rose immensely. I am now REALLY pissed off! You obviously have no compassion for people who might read this and be severely traumatized by this shit you've written!
I could go on and on until the word limit expires, but I feel I've made my point. I don't ever want to read another story from you ever again. Goodbye, and good riddance, you bastard storyteller!
Well, technically, I changed this a bit to make it look better, added some paragraphs and such. But you see the point.
So, my retort:
Well, let me just say, your review is the funniest review I have ever received (Oh wait, I already mentioned this part). Thanks, man. Or woman. Or alien. Or whatever you are, I don't know :D
I'm glad you think I need help; It's sweet that you care. But I'm fine; doing great at the education, helping out the family, writing some stuff. It's all good. And the sexual references? Just some light-hearted childish fun. Nowadays, nastier subjects, like rape, end up as jokes, so I'd consider this pretty tame, by some standards.
The minds I scarred? Oh, c'mon! It's a simple parody story written by some guy you don't know. You honestly cannot take fan-fiction seriously! As far as I'm aware, the only people who take fan-fiction seriously are, well, obsessive fans who can't take even the smallest of jokes against their beloved little characters. I mean, Meta Knight is my absolute favourite, yet I had him getting blown up an Internet Meme. And I think Fox is epic, a great character, yet look what happened to him! It's just a silly parody; nothing to get worked up about.
And you ask why I could have thought of Yoshi turning carnivorous? He's a dinosaur who eats things. Simple as. Have you seen the live-action series: "There will be Brawl?" (You can find it on YouTube) That was based on the fact that Kirby eats people and wears their skin or hats. And references are good for continuity, which is a stable aspect of any kind of writing.
What persuaded me to write this? At first, it was just Peach scaring Ganondorf. People liked it, people enjoyed the random, so I went on, and let my mind see exactly what it could pop up with. Imagination is great when writing any kind of story. And the obsession to screw up characters? Please. I couldn't screw them up. Only Nintendo can screw their characters up. Or porn sites, but let's avoid that for sanity's sake 0_0
Some people would agree with you that I am messed-up, sick-minded, but hey, that would be assuming I actually cared what others think of me. What I think of me is the most important thing, and I think I'm pretty happy :)
And, harsh as it sounds, I do have no compassion to those who get traumatised by this. Let's face it, however is traumatised is either an obsessed fan or a little kid on the wrong rating, which teaches them a lesson about straying from set boundaries. Believe you me, I've seen much, much worse on this site then anything this fic could offer. And I'm still scar-free and cheerful, right?
Good riddance? Yeah, real smooth thing to say, when you come crawling back for three more reviews right after that. Way to go there, pal. You just made an oxymoron.
Listen, I respect that you appreciate the characters, and I completely admire your willingness to stand up to me with an anonymous account which could easily be removed or ignored. Listen, why not get an account, message me, and we can chat, alright? I think you might have some good things to say, if it weren't for all the blatantly pointless insults.
With regards, Soundwave 0107
Well, less of a retort and more of "Let's-discuss-this-calmly" suggestion.
Of course, I can't reply to an Anonymous viewer (That makes you think: Can't handle a reply) so I whipped up a chapter instead. A great way of getting attention, right? LOL. Anyway, the Sane Person might not get an account as I suggested, either 'cause they can't stand the fact I would be able to reply (:P), or because they consider me as not worth it. But the latter would be stupid since the first review they gave ended with a good riddance, but then: WOW! THREE MORE REVIEWS! :D
Either way, if you're reading this, Sane Person, you might as well get an account while you're hanging around on fan-fic, if only to chat with me or write a lil' one-shot of something or other. Personally, I'd enjoy a talk with you :)
And be honest with yourself: I could have written much, much worse. There's always a bigger fish.
So, not much a chapter and more of a reply disguised as a chapter XD
But I'll pop in a fight scene between Ganondorf and Sonic for you lot :)
Today's match was at Battlefield. One-stock, no items. And combatants were the fast hedgehog and the evil warlock, Sonic and Ganondorf respectively. The crowd was waiting with bated breath, especially Link, Zelda and Toon Link, whom were interested to see how the King of Evil would fare against the blue spike-trap.
Master Hand's voice rang out, as a blue blur suddenly appeared on the stage, upon the right platform, revealing itself to be a grinning and waving Sonic the Hedgehog, earning many cheers: "3! 2!-"
A dark portal suddenly opened upon the left platform, and out stepped Ganondorf, whom grunted as his own fans hollered for him, and the warlock faced off against Sonic.
"-1! GO!" Master Hand declared, and the battle was on.
Sonic moved incredibly fast. In a quick spin, he'd leapt onto the top platform, then unleashed a Spring Jump, leaping high into the air, and lunged down in a powerful kick that Ganondorf barely managed to dodge by leaping backwards.
Sonic moved down to the bottom floor, dashed forward and kicked out at the warlock, but Ganondorf had already grabbed the edge and avoided the attack. And before Sonic could knock Ganondorf off the edge, the King of Evil threw an arm up, grabbed a lanky blue leg, and chucked Sonic off Battlefield, before leaping up into the air.
The hedgehog growled with annoyance, before jumping off of thin air to get back to Battlefield. But Ganondorf was already in position; the warlock had jumped back, to be airborne above Sonic, and now slammed his thick legs downward in a massive meteor smash that hit the hedgehog-
And sent him plummeting to his defeat.
The crowd stared and gaped, before it burst into massive cheers (except the Sonic fans) as the record for the fastest Brawl ever was set: 6:66 seconds.
Link and Zelda exchanged a surprised, but impressed glance as Ganondorf went to the middle of Battlefield and crossed his arms, laughing evilly in triumph, earning even more cheers from his fans.
"Wow. That was quick." Zelda noted with a small giggle.
"Yeah..." Link replied, shaking his head slightly. Thank the Goddesses Ganondorf had never done that during their fights in Hyrule...
Author's Notes: LOL, Sonic got pwned XD