A/N: This is just a random idea I thought of, like, a month ago. I never got around to actually writing it, but here it is! Kronos' minions teaching him about overused PJO plots with examples. Just watch, he will be the best fanfiction writer ever! Once he learns how to at least spell his own name.
Kronos sat at his computer with that sadistic grin on his face. Tartarus was treating him quite well these days, actually. There's a hot tub, a club, dance parties, laser light shows, Internet connection...yeah. Tartarus is awesome. Kronos even managed to kidnap his minions from the last war he had. Even the ones who didn't even die yet. He kept them tied up in his basement.
"Nakurma!" he shouted from his desk. "I request another berry smoothie! I don't want any lumps in it this time!"
Ethan hurried out of the closet with a berry smoothie and placed it in front of the Titan Lord. Curious, he looked over Kronos' shoulder to see what he was typing. It was no surprise to Ethan that Kronos was writing yet another fanfiction. It was all he did these days! Ethan skimmed quickly over the writing and scoffed when he was done. Kronos whirled around and covered up the computer screen with his body.
"What?" Kronos said, sounding outraged.
"No offense, but your writing sucks," Ethan pointed out.
It was true. Kronos was a die-hard Percabeth fan. Ninety percent of his stories were about that pairing. The other ten percent was about other cliches most fangirls wrote about. All his writing sucked, though. Bad grammar, out of character, cliched, writing was all he had.
"What are you talking about? I am so famous on this website," Kronos retorted.
"The highest amount of reviews you have is three. And they're all flames," Ethan said and Kronos looked ashamed. "Look, the other minions and I will help you. Let's look at your first story." Ethan clicked on the first link and after reading it, starting laughing again.
"What's wrong with it?" Kronos asked. "It's just a Nico/OC story. Those are the best!"
"Here, just read it," Ethan said.
Dark, Complicated Love
Translated to better looking grammar so people can actually understand what's going on by Ethan Nakurma
One day, Nico di Angelo went to a new boarding school. He was very negative about it, but Nico was on a mission. There was a half-blood girl who went to this school and it was his job to bring her to Camp Half Blood. Luckily, they shared all their classes together! Nico even sat next to her. What a coincidence! Weird how things work that way.
Her name was Castilia Alyssa Beautiful, or more commonly referred to as Cassy. She had long flowing, midnight black hair and the most brilliant blue eyes the world has ever seen. She wore Abercrombie and Fitch jeans and sweater. Her shoes were black high-heels with a three inch heel. She also had a diamond studded cami underneath her sweater.
Cassy and Nico instantly became friends. It was as if they were meant for each other.
"You need to come with me to Camp! You're a demigod!" Nico exclaimed to her in the middle of math class. The teacher and other students didn't notice because they were just there as background and they weren't very important.
"I always knew I was special!" Cassy shirked happily and followed Nico out of the school. They both rode away to camp on Nico's magical unicorn of lurve.
-Hours of Pointless Talking Later-
"Nico! I just found out who my godly parent is!" Cassy shouted and gave Nico a big hug. He blushed because he tends to do that a lot.
"That's great! Who?" Nico asked in a totally out of character happy way.
"It's [insert either the goddess Artemis or Nyx. Or the god Apollo here]!" she screamed excitedly.
"OMG!!!!111!" Nico and Cassy began to sequel together.
"I have to tell you something," Nico said and the mood suddenly got all angsty. "I love you."
Cassy gasped and blushed. She loved Nico from the moment she first saw him and knew he was the one.
"I love you, too," she said.
"Guuuurrlll, let's make out!" Nico said, in a voice that made him sound like he was from the "hood".
-Twenty Chapter of Pointless Romance and Making out Later-
"Ready for round two?" Nico asked and they resumed making out.
Kronos stared at his story with disbelief that he would ever think to make something like this. It was down right horrible. His eyes were going to throw up now after he read what he created.
"We can still make this a parody, though. You'll get thousands of reviews then," Ethan said and pushed Kronos out of the chair. He started to type away, pausing occasionally to change some things. Kronos hovered over his shoulder and watched in amazement.
Ethan saved the document and moved over so Kronos could read the new and improved story.
"Nico, I have something to tell you," Cassy said.
"What, my love?" Nico asked.
"My parent is really Poseidon. Percy is my brother," she said and Nico just shrugged.
"Who cares?" he asked.
"No one, I just felt like pointing it out," she responded and Percy poofed out of no where.
He looked like he meant business.
"I don't want a freaking sister!" Percy yelled.
Cassy gasped like she always did when something dramatic happened and fell over dead. Nico ran over and scooped up her body.
"Nooooooooo!!!!!!" Nico shouted towards the sky. "She was your sister!"
"Meh," Percy said.
"She was so nice and everyone loved her!" Nico pointed out.
"Meh," Percy said again.
"She was my soul mate!" Nico cried.
"I said, MEH!" Percy finalized and poofed away.
Have no fear. Nico soon got over the death of Cassy and took up the hobby of basket weaving for the elderly. Percy went out every night to party like an animal at clubs. Annabeth learned how to tie her shoes. Grover farted. And Luke won America's Next Top Model. All was as it should be. No one ever did remember Cassy...whatever the heck her name was because she really wasn't all that important.
The End for Real This Time.
A/N: How was it? I already have a one-shot making fun of Nico/OC stories, but I thought it would be appropriate to start off with this cliche because most people don't like it. Well, most people don't like overused cliches with this pairing. I don't think all cliches are bad, just as long as they're well written and have an original twist to them.
Tell me what you thought, and if you want, you can tell me any overused cliche you want me to include. I'll do all suggestions along with the list I already have of unoriginal plots.
Hope you enjoyed and thanks for reading! Next chapter will be up soon.