A/N: Hey people! Siyui-no-Akatsuki here with her newest story… Please Shoot Me Now! ^claps^ Here to do the disclaimer is Kimbley, the star of this show!!

Kimbley: 'Bout damn time I get a story. Siyui doesn't own Fullmetal Alchemist, or me, or Colonel Fire-Ass, or… Anybody else that you recognize. She does, surprisingly, own Arashi Timberlan, the Rainstorm Alchemist, and Rikky Timberlan, her brother. Capiché?

Siyui: Thank you Kimbley!! You did a good job ^claps^.

Kimbley: Don't patronize me.

Siyui: BTW, this story is set in the mangaverse! coughSoKImbleyDoesn'tDieAsSooncough

Kimbley: What did you say?

Siyui: On with the story!!

______________

Chapter One: The Bomb-Happy Idiot (Someone forgot his medication!)

______________

Arashi Timberlan

Tick… Tick… Tick… That idiot, he's going to wake me up any minute now… Tick… Tick… Tick… Any second, now… Five… Four… Three… Two… One… Crap.

"WAKE THE HELL UP, ARASHI!!!!!" Cue fall out of bed.

I rubbed my sore butt, glaring at my waker. "Why, Rikky?" I asked my grinning twenty-year-old brother. He shrugged.

"You needed to be waked up. It's 7:32." I gasped.

"WHAT?! HOLY CRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAP!!!" I pushed him out my room, locking the door. "I need to get dressed for work!!!"

"Yeesh… and no 'thank you'?" I heard him mutter outside my door, stalking off to his emo corner… I kid, kid… He has no emo corner… He has an emo square. 50% less emoness.

Anyway…

I opened my closet, pulling out my uniform, a t-shirt that had 'When Life Gives You Lemons, Make Grape Juice,' and my special pair of blue boots imported from Xing with giant black dragons, and walked down stairs whistling.

THIS IS A FREAKIN' LINE!!! DON'T LIKE IT?! DEAL WIT IT!!!! YOSH!!!_____________________________

I grabbed a poptart, just about to go out the door, but I faced the couch, a grimace on my face. I looked at my lazy brother, who was flopped on the couch.

"Rikky, you lazy bum, don't you have some place to be?" I put my hands on my hips and had a look of mock thought on my face. "Say… Oh, I dunno, a job?" He shrugged.

"I'll get up eventually."

"Lazy bum…" I muttered. He looked up at me from his spot on the couch.

"At least I'm not a dog of the military." He closed his eyes and sighed dramatically. "Man, I'm the only person in this family who doesn't bark…" I rolled my eyes and opened the door.

"Second Lieutenant counts as 'dog of the military', idiot."

"Not in some countries."

I rolled my eyes. "See ya, you bum…" I walked out the door, closing it behind me.

THIS IS A FREAKIN' LINE!!! DON'T LIKE IT?! DEAL WIT IT!!!! YOSH!!!_____________________________

I walked down the hall, dodging all the people, most of them wearing military uniforms, with my ninja-like swiftness.

"Ow! Watch where you're going, chick." Er, nevermind about the ninja-like swiftness thing… I sighed, going to his office. He's going to annoy the living crap out of me if I'm late… I looked at my watch and sighed. Good. Now, let's just hope he doesn't give me some weird mission…

I continued down the hall, looking at the names on each door as I pass them… I open the door I want and grimace as soon as I enter it.

"What's with that face? You don't hate me that much, do you?" I scowled.

"No, I hate you more than that, Roy." He put a look of mock hurt on his face.

"You're so mean, Ara-chan…" I rolled my eyes. No wonder my brother and him get along…

"Lord knows why you're Colonel…" I muttered under my breath. He leaned back in his chair, putting his hands behind his head. "And why I'm only a Lieutenant Colonel…"

"Okay Arashi, your first assignment is—"

"I'm not doing your damn paperwork, Mustang."

"Why do you think that was what I was going to ask?"

"Because it's what you always ask." He sighed, defeated.

"Fine. Anyway, King Bradley wants you in his office, Arashi." I huffed.

"I didn't do anything!" I said, crossing my arms. "Not this time, anyway…" Roy grinned.

"Arashi's in trouble! Arashi's in trouble!" He sing-songed as I glared at him.

"Roy, if you don't shut your mouth I will shut it for you. With a chainsaw." He cringed.

"Ow, harsh." I narrowed my eyes at him, walking towards the door.

"Goodbye." I said, walking out the door, "And good riddance…"

"I heard that, Arashi."

THIS IS A FREAKIN' LINE!!! DON'T LIKE IT?! DEAL WIT IT!!!! YOSH!!!_____________________________

I opened the door hesitantly, stepping inside the office with one foot. "Um… Hello?"

"Come in." I walked in, closing the door behind me. King Bradley was signing some paperwork, not even looking up. "Yes?"

I rubbed the back of my head. "Um, I'm Arashi Timberlan…" He looked up with a smile on his face.

"Ah. 'The Rainstorm Alchemist'. So I take it Roy delivered my message?" I nodded.

"Yes. You wanted to see me, sir?" I said, putting my hands behind my back. He nodded.

"I have your new mission." I sighed, relieved. "You are to report to Central Prison." I furrowed my eyebrows in confusion.

"What?" I blurted out. The smile from his face faded.

"One of the people kept there needs to be watched. Many people have tried, but…"

"But, what?"

"But, they've all been killed." I stifled a gasp.

"So you think I can do it?" I said, raising my eyebrow. "Sir, I think you have the wrong girl—"

"That's it, there."

"What?"

"All the people who've been his watcher have been guys." I tilted my head in confusion.

"Hmm?"

"We think that he won't kill a young lady." He said, "Plus, your alchemy rivals his."

"How so?" He smiled again.

"His name is 'Zolf J. Kimbley'." My eyes widened.

"He's…"

"The Crimson Alchemist." I nodded.

"Made a living by blowing stuff up…" I said, trailing off. I straightened up, saluting. "When do you want me to report, sir?"

"As soon as possible." He handed me a folder. "Everything is in there." I nodded.

(Kimbley: Where the heck am I?! Siyui: Geez, be patient. Kimbley: I'm not afraid to blow you up… Siyui: I wanna see you TRY! ^runs away^)

"So, what was it about? What did you do? Are you going to be executed?" Roy asked, the paperwork on his desk untouched. I glared at him.

"I have a new mission."

"And it is…?"

"I have to babysit a criminal from the Central Prison." Roy leaned up in his seat, clearly interested.

"Who?" I sighed, sitting in a chair.

"Zolf J. Kimbley." I said, closing my eyes. I waited for Roy's random reaction, and then opened my eyes. I started at his sudden serious face.

"What's wrong?" He walked over to me, putting his hands on my shoulders.

"Arashi, decline the mission." I stared at him.

"What— why?"

"Because Kimbley is dangerous."

"I know that Roy." I got up, brushing myself off. "I'm a State Alchemist, Lieutenant Colonel. I can take care of myself." Roy glared at me, uncrossing his arms.

"He's killed State Alchemist before, Arashi!" He yelled at me, slamming his hands on his desk, "And he won't be afraid to kill you!"

I narrowed my eyes at him. "I told you that I know that already!" I yelled back, but my voice softened. "I'll be okay, got it?" Roy sat down in his chair, closing his eyes.

"I can't change your mind, can I?" I shook my head. He sighed, rubbing his forehead with his hand.

"Well, okay then… but let me tell you this," he started, reaching into his pocket and putting on his gloves, "If Kimbley even scratches you, he will be toast. Very burnt toast…" I sighed, smiling.

"Geez, why are you so protective all of a sudden?" Roy stood up, a tiny bit of mischief dancing in his coal-black eyes.

"Because…" Is it just me, or did the lights just dim…? "If you get hurt, there will be one less girl to wear a miniskirt in the Military!" Of course there was some inside meaning…

"Weirdo… You and my brother are defiantly related…" Roy grinned proudly, taking it as a complement.

"Oh! That reminded me! How is Rikky doing?" I sighed.

"He's getting lazier and more annoying every day…"

"I'm right here, Ara-baka." I whipped my head around to a scowling Rikky. I turned back to Roy.

"You knew he was there…"

"Yup." I rolled my eyes and looked at Rikky.

"Those were terms of endearment." Rikky tilted his head towards me.

"Well, here's a term of endearment: Idiot."

THIRD PERSON NOW!

"Bum."

"Nerd."

"Perv."

"Stupid."

"Sock Monkey." Did this fight just take a weird turn…? Roy thought.

"Awkward Squirrel."

"Crap Hippopotamus."

"Gauche Moose."

"What does 'gauche' even mean?"

"It means 'lacking grace or tact in social situations.'"

"And you call me the nerd…"

"Shut it, Fartcake."

"Lord of the Nerd-Stupid Bums." Roy rolled his eyes. Did they forget I was here…?

"Pootnoose."

"Merpy."

(Hello. This is Kimbley. At this rate, I'll never be in the story.)(Hi. This is Siyui. KIMBLEY SHUT UP!! GET OUT!)

FIRST PERSON AGAIN! (Damn straight.) (Kimbley, I told you to LEAVE!!) (Fine…)

"State your name and rank, please." The gate guard asked as I walked up to the front desk of the Central Prison.

"Arashi Timberlan. Lieutenant Colonel, State Alchemist." I held up my watch for emphasis. The guard nodded quickly, letting me through the gates.

I walked through the lobby. Why do they have such a nice lobby for a prison? Are they inviting people to get arrested?

"You're Arashi Timberlan, correct?" I turned to the soft voice. It was a guy, taller than me by a few inches, and he had dark chestnut-brown hair, and light teal eyes.

"Yes." I nodded, smiling.

"Well, we've been waiting for you, Arashi-san." He held out his hand for me to shake. "You can call me Travis." I shook his hand, and then we started walking.

"So you're actually going to watch over the psycho, Kimbley?" I nodded as we started walking down a row of cells. The prisoners were shouting random things, which I chose to ignore.

"Well, good luck. You're going to need it." He said as he led me down a flight of stairs. "What made you take thins job?" I looked at him, and then smiled.

"I dunno. I guess I just wanted some kind of adventure…" I said. We walked in silence until we reached a heavy-locked door, where Travis stopped.

"Sorry Arashi-san, but this is as far as I go." He handed me the keys as he turned around. "I would never go in there. Oh, and a person will be here at 1:00pm to deliver you guys lunch. You may, of course, come up stairs to eat if you wish." I nodded, smiling.

"Thank you."

"Good luck." Was the last thing he said before leaving me alone in the semi-darkness.

"Well, here goes a whole lot of nothing…" I turned the keys and slowly opened the door.

I walked down the very long hall, my eyes slowly adjusting to the darkness. I didn't say any thing as I walked, trying to stay aware of my surroundings. I gave up on that idea…

"Hello? Anybody there…?" I finally uttered.

"The military decided to send a girl down here this time? How pathetic…" I heard a smooth, velvety voice say from down the hall. I looked ahead to see a giant see-through glass wall. All I could really make out was a man sitting in the corner of the dark room. Don't get me wrong, the hallway was lit, just the room wasn't.

"What's your name, chick?" I sat down in the chair a few feet away from the person's (who I guessed was Kimbley) cell. "You're the new guard, right?"

"Yes, and I'm not going to answer the name question, Crimson." I deadpanned, looking at his outline.

"No need to be mean, chick." He got up then stepped into the light so I could finally see him. He had long, shiny black hair (he's in jail and his hair looks better than mine…) that fell everywhere around his face and glinting golden eyes that seemed to shine. He was wearing prison clothes, but I could still see how truly fit he was for a prisoner. Add this altogether and you get… one handsome criminal in a see-through glass box. A veryhandsome criminal in a see-through glass box… Why are all the bad guys hot nowadays? Wait; did I really just think that?! Crap…

He must have noticed me staring (damn) because he smirked. "Like what you see? 'Cause I like what I see, chick." I huffed, glad that it was dark so he could barley see me blush.

"My name's not 'chick', Crimson." I said harshly. He shrugged.

"You didn't tell me your name, so what else am I suppose to call you? I can't call ya 'little girl'…" His eyes drifted downward from my face to my chest as he slowly started to grin. I don't care how handsome he is… I scowled.

"Eyes up here, Crimson." I said, pointing at my face. He grinned, crossing his arms.

"You should take it as a complement, cutie."

"Yeah, that's worse than 'chick.'" He sat down, looking at me the whole time.

"What?" I asked.

"You know, you're the only person who wasn't scared stiff when they saw me." I shrugged, smiling for the first time since I came down there.

"No offense, but you're not as scary as you think you are, Crimson." He raised an eyebrow.

"Oh, really?" I nodded, grinning now.

"You're behind a giant four-inch thick wall of Plexiglas. No one's getting in," I pointed at him. "And you're not getting out." It was silent then, for about ten minutes.

"I'm going to enjoy you being my new guard." I raised an eyebrow at his random remark.

"Hmm? Why?" I asked curiously.

"Because," he said, leaning in to the glass so I could see his whole face. "You're kinda cute, ya know?" He sat down in his chair and grinned coughhotlycough at me. "I'll finally have something to look at other than a wall." I scoffed, leaning back in my chair and crossing my legs.

"Flattery will get you nowhere, Crimson." I said.

"Oh? So you don't believe me?" I shook my head.

"Not really." He sighed, putting his hands behind his head.

"Aren't you going to get my lunch, babe?" I grimaced.

"Do not call me 'babe', Crimson." He grinned.

"Do not call me 'Crimson', babe." I glared at him.

"Fine. My name is Arashi Timberlan. Happy?"

"Sounds familiar…"he said, but then he grinned. "See. Now was that so hard?" I rolled my eyes.

"Yes. I almost died from that. I think I might cry. Erk." Saying I was surprised by what he did next would be an understatement.

He bowed like a gentleman, grinning the whole time at me. "Well, I'm sorry I made you suffer, Arashi-san." I stifled a laugh. I shouldn't be friendly with him, he's a criminal…

(HA! I am in the story! I pwn…)(Geez, go somewhere else, idiot.)(This is my story, Siyui-baka.) (FAIL!!!)

I heard a knock on the door. "Lunch!" I got up from my chair and walked down the hall, yawning. I could feel Kimbley looking at me the whole time as I walked towards the door.

"Any logical reason you're staring at my backside, Kimbley?" I heard him laugh.

"Oh? When did you start calling me by my name?" I didn't respond, because I reached the door and opened it.

"Arashi Timberlan, your food is here" The guy wheeled in a metal cart with two plates of food.

"Thank you." I said, smiling at the guy, who looked like he was just about to pee in his pants. Poor guy…

After he left, I pushed the cart back down the hall. "I got the food you whined for, Crimson." I heard him scoff.

"I didn't 'whine' for it." I grinned, stopping the cart and smiling at him.

"I quote: 'Aren't you going to get me luuuuuunch?'" Kimbley scowled, crossing his arms.

"I didn't say it like that, babe." It was my turn to scowl.

"I told you not to call me 'babe', Crimson."

"I told you not to call me 'Crimson."

"Touché…" I mumbled. He grinned.

"What was that?" I grimaced at him.

"Do you want your food or not?" He grew silent, sitting back in his seat. I smiled, but then it faded when I looked around.

"Okay…Er…"

"You put the food in that thing." Kimbley said matter-of-factly, pointing to a metal slot. I scoffed, turning my face away from him.

"I knew that!" I said, picking up one of the trays and walking to the slot.

"Could you please stop staring at me?" I said, scowling at him. He grinned, shrugging.

"You should take it as a complement when a guy won't stop staring at you, babe." My scowl deepened as I put his tray down.

"Okay, two things." I held up two fingers, "One, don't call me 'babe'. My name's Arashi. Two, I do not take staring at my butt as a complement, you pervert." He shrugged again, crossing his arms.

"Babe," he said, just to get me angry, "I can't help it. All the people who come down here are guys… Then, all of a sudden, a girl comes down here. What am I to do but stare at her?" I sighed, giving up. I picked the tray back up and put it in the slot, sliding it through the glass.

"Just eat the damn food, okay?" I said sourly. Kimbley looked taken aback.

"Geez, sweetheart, no need to be testy."

"Seriously, 'babe' was better than 'sweetheart'…"

"See, I knew you liked it." I sighed, rubbing my eyes.

"That's not what I meant, idiot."

(Ha! I'm amazing, aren't I?)(No, you suck.)(If I suck so much, then why do I have my own story?)(It's Arashi's story.)

THIRD PERSON NOW!!! (I still own.)(Do you want me to change the main character to Roy?)(I'll shut up.)

Arashi closed the book she was reading, and yawned.

"Sleepy?" She turned to Kimbley who was grinning.

"Naw, whaddaya think?" It was silent again and Arashi closed her eyes.

"Are you an alchemist?" Kimbley asked randomly. Arashi lazily turned to him, confusion etched on her face.

"What makes you ask that question?" he crossed his arms, looking at her.

"They had to have had some reason for choosing you, right?" She sighed.

"Yes, I-I'm a State Alchemist." She said, looking at the floor. She stuttered… Kimbley thought, supporting his chin with his fist.

"What's your codename, then?" He asked, noting how her eyes widened slightly. Arashi looked at the ceiling. He couldn't possibly remember, could he? He's been in jail… Better safe than sorry…

"It's none of your business, Crimson." He grinned at her.

"Aw, you can tell me." Arashi sighed. Would he seriously remember?

"The Rainstorm Alchemist." Kimbley thought for a second then grinned.

"I knew you looked familiar! I should have put it together!" Dammit… Damn it all… "Arashi Timberlan…" He grinned, his eyes glinting in the light. "Or, if you prefer, 'The Angel of Amestris.'"

A/N: How did ya like it? Can any of you guys guess what Drama/Horror movie this is based loosly on? If you can, you get brownie points~!

Kimbley: Review, dammit!

Siyui: ^sighs^ Geeze, Kimbley, be nice.

Kimbley: Please review, dammit!

Siyui: ^shakes head^ Stop trying time… Now.

Preview:

Chapter Two: The Angel of Amestris

She sighed, slapping her hands together and slamming them onto the ground. "Well, here goes!"

A giant ice box appeared around the 150 people. Arashi limped up to it, a grim expression on her face.

"Ashikarazu. I really don't want to do this… but I have to." She placed her hands firmly on the box.

"Please, forgive me." Spikes fell down in the ice prison. Her eyes widened, as she fell to her knew as the box around the dead men crumbled.