While You Fall Apart
by Ahiru Arima

Rating: K+

Summary: After Suzaku goes missing for the day, Gino comes looking for him...to find something he didn't expect.

Warnings: implied relationship between two boys. Nothing graphic, in fact, you kinda have to squint to see it.

Spoilers: Code Geass (if you haven't seen the ending of season one, I suggest you don't read this)

Pairings: GinoXSuzaku, SuzakuXEuphie, implied LelouchXSuzaku

A/N: o3o Have a late-night submission. Sorry I haven't been around!

Disclaimer: I don't own these guys. If I did, I'd be fucking riiiiich~ The song lyrics inside are from Miku Hatsune's Last Night, Good Night. I don't own those, either.

Suyasuya yume wo miteru Right next to me, you're dreaming peacefully
Kimino yokogao I can feel your breath on me

The blond dared a glance over at the sleeping brunette, moving a hand to brush back his bangs. Suzaku looked so venerable and gentle like that, curled around his blankets, cheeks still stained with tears. It was hard to see the other male like this, when he was usually so strong. Usually so serious and calculating and almost downright cold.

But he realized, now, that it was all a mask. It was just the little Japanese boy's way of keeping everyone out of his already-broken heart. Thinking back to how this all happened, Gino was a little surprised. Surprised that Suzaku had trusted him so much that he'd allowed him to see this.

That the Knight of Seven had let himself fall to pieces in the company of another.

And to think...it all started because Gino was up to his usual antics.

Kizurazu koboreta namida These tears, they fall
Hoho wo tsutau And I don't even realize...all this pain, I've tried to hide...

"Heeeey! Suzaku!!"

The blond pounded on Suzaku's door, calling for him stupidly. Suzaku had been locked in that room aaaaall day! Seriously, how boring! They had work to do...and stuff.


Still, there was no answer. Peeking under the door proved that the lights were out, but jiggling the handle proved the door was locked. Was the other asleep already? Or maybe he was up to something...dirty?

"C'mon, Suzaku! Can your right hand really be more interesting than I am?! If you need someone to fufill your sexual needs, why don't you just ask me to do it~"

There was stirring from behind the door. Whoo! He'd gotten his attention.

"I mean, it's not like the other Knights of the Round don't do it, why not you and me? Let's hook up. I LOOOOVEEEE YOOOOUUUUU MYYY DEAAA--" the click of the door unlocking.

"If I let you in..." a voice asked, soft and a little shaken from behind the still closed door, "...will you stop saying stupid things so loudly outside my door?"

"Sure will." Gino responded, smiling proudly to himself.

He didn't even stop to think about what kind of personal suffering he might be interrupting.

Setsuna no tokimeki wo I've been keeping this feeling inside
Konomuneni kakusitetano These last words of love will beat into your heart

The door swung open, and Gino stepped in as Suzaku was already headed back to his bed. The brunette sat on it, back turned to Gino, and spoke.

"So what is it that you need so badly that you'd create such a scene outside my door? Could it really not wait until tomorrow?"

"Tomorrow? Where have you been all day, Suzaku?" The tall blond closed the door and walked over to Suzaku, wrapping an arm around his shoulder and hooking his hand under his chin, giving him a slight noogie. "I've been worried about you all daaaaay and—huh?"

There was a moistness on Gino's hand, trailed down Suzaku's cheeks to drip from his chin. Slightly warm, and very small and very...tear-like...was Suzaku...


"Suzaku...are you okay?" Gino's voice went more serious as he sat on the edge of Suzaku's bed, keeping that arm around him but making no efforts to turn the smaller male around.

"I'm fine!" Suzaku insisted, although his voice was cracking. Each word sounded so...forced. He clung to his non-caring, stone-faced nature. But his mask was shattering, slowly but surely. "Can you just tell me what you came for and get out of my room?!...please?"

"Suzaku I just came to see how you were...doing..." his eyebrows knotted and he wrapped his other arm around his friend, holding him from behind. "What happened?"

"Are you really that stupid?!" Suzaku asked, throwing Gino's arms off of himself and standing up from the bed. "If you just came here to harass me, do me a favor and get out of my room!" As the Knight of Seven stormed into the small kitchen-area of the room, something fell to the floor. Something that had been on the bed, probably clutched in his trembling hands not but a few moments ago.

A quill.

And that's when Gino figured it out.

Last night, good night Last night, good night
Last night, good night Last night, good night

Gino picked it up as he stood, crossing the floor to the kitchen.

"I'm sorry, Suzaku...I forgot..." He held it out to his friend, an apologetic look crossing his face.

"How could you forget?" he muttered darkly, taking back the small feathered object, rolling it over in his hands. "It's all over the news. Replaying the footage. Memories of a dark past. Have you heard what they..." he choked, and then continued in a whisper, "...have you heard what they call her?"

Gino didn't say it, he just looked down. It was hard to see Suzaku like this, exposed and broken. It was sad, really. The smaller male was usually so strong. Unshakable. And yet here he was, about to burst into tears again. He could hear it in his voice.

"She was...too gentle for the harsh world she was born into." Suzaku said, softly, placing the small object on the counter, closing his eyes. He was shaking, and tears had started over his cheeks once more. "Why can't anyone just understand that...? Why did it have to be her? Of all the...why..."


He wasn't really great with words, and words of comfort were probably his worst suit. So he settled for wrapping his arms around the smaller Knight of the Round.

Funny. He expected Suzaku to pull away.

Kono yoru kimi no te This night, I'll hold you in my arms.
Nigitte nemuruyo So tight that I'll drift off to sleep

But instead, Suzaku sunk into his grasp. He clung to Gino, sobbing as he did so. Tears poured from his face and stained the taller male's clothing, wet and sad. And Suzaku slunk to the floor, holding onto Gino's knees. Crying so loud that it was a wonder he didn't scream.

Gino fell to his knees and held Suzaku close, allowing his friend to press his face to his shoulder, stroking down his hair, not caring in the least that the two of them were on the floor and that his clothes were getting wet and out of sorts.

"Come here, Suzaku..." he said, softly, and hooked an arm under Suzaku's legs, the other hooking under his shoulders so he could carry him to the bed and lay him down. "...you're alright."

Oyasumi Goodnight, my love

Suzaku curled under the blankets, tears still in those big green eyes.

The face of a truly broken man.

How Gino wished he could put him back together...how he wanted to hold Suzaku and tell him it was alright, and not be lying. Even if it wasn't all a lie...some of it had to be. Because it wasn't alright. It would never be alright again for Suzaku, would it? No matter how much Gino wanted to make it alright. It never could be alright. Not again.

He pulled the blankets more snugly to Suzaku and turned. Knowing him, he'd want to suffer alone. He wouldn't want Gino there.

"I'm sorry I bothered you, Suzaku." he said, softly, heading away from the other's bed and towards the door.

Sutekina? asa wo mou ichido Wouldn't it be wonderful
Kimito sugosetanara To spend another morning with you?

But suddenly there was a hand around his wrist.

"Please don't leave me."

The voice sounded so...pleading. So desperate. And Gino simply couldn't tell him no, couldn't turn down that hurt tone. He turned back around and sat on the edge of the bed, stroking Suzaku's hair.

"Alright." he responded softly.

Chiisana sonna kibou sae Even if it's only a mere hope
Omou dake no kiseki A miracle that is only in my head

"I loved her more than words can say." he confessed into the other's arms. Hours had been spent like this, Gino holding Suzaku close to his chest. Suzaku crying. Hours. "And what's worse...I loved him...I loved...I..."

Gino didn't ask anymore, half of what came from Suzaku's mouth didn't make sense. He just held him and rocked him and tried to make him feel better. He wanted nothing more than to make him feel better.

"And I...I can't handle it. Because everytime I fall in love I...something...I...I love you so much and yet..."

Gino blinked. Did Suzaku just say...?


Big, green eyes stared into blue ones, broken and full of tears. "Please...Gino I'm sorry...I don't mean to love you but...something horrible will happen to you for sure and I..."

Nanimo tsutaenai mama But I cannot bring myself to confess anything
Sayonara wa ienaiyo ...nor can I bring myself to say goodbye

"Suzaku...you idiot. It's not like you're cursed. Bad things don't happen to people just because you love them." he tightened his grip on Suzaku, his heart pounding no matter how much he wished it would slow.

Suzaku...loved him? He had thought there was no way. Thought it wasn't possible.

And yet he was confessing it.

Last night, good night Last night, good night
Last night, good night Last night, good night

"But I am cursed! Everyone I've ever loved is...they're all...and you. There's no point, it's doomed to failure anyway. You're you and...and...you could never...."

Kono koe karetemo Even if this voice fades
Kienai MERODII This melody will not fade

"Could never what?"

Last night, good night Last night, good night
Last night, good night Last night, good night

"Could never...return the feeling..."

Itsukawa mukaeru and when I think that the end

"You loveable idiot..." Gino said, softly, giving Suzaku a small kiss on the head. "I...I do return the feeling."

"You...you...you do?"

Gino pulled away and smiled at him, bright as he could.

"Of course."

Saigowo omouyo Will be coming soon

Fears qualmed, Suzaku had relaxed into Gino's grasp. He was clinging to the blond like he was an industrial sized teddy, holding onto him softly.

Each breath was quiet, he was slowly slipping into slumber.

And as he slept, he whispered:

Happy birthday, Euphie.

Yozora ni negau no This night I pray
Tokiwa no egao wo To see your smile forever

Gino settled back down next to the sleeping Suzaku, wrapping his arms around him once more.

Even if he was only a temporary fix to Suzaku's pain, even if he was in love with someone who had twice given their heart and had it twice broken...

He would not stop loving Suzaku. And he would try. Try with all his being...

Try to mend his lover's broken heart.

Oyasumi Good night, my love