Note- This takes place before season five starts.
"You think that's bad, Will? Five weeks? You don't wanna know how long I've gone without. Fifteen damn dry months its been for me and counting."
Reid told Derek "That isn't that long really."
"Sure, kid, and hell isn't that hot really."
Penelope Garcia could not, for the life of her, get the conversation she overhead out of her head. She happened to be walking through JJ's house, when her friend was having a cook-out, and passed the living room where Reid and Morgan were playing some kind of video game with Will.
JJ hated when the guys went inside to do that but Will was a video game fanatic. She'd always have to shoo them back outside, into the heat and humidity, because she insisted that bar-be-cues and pool parties actually needed to take place near the grill and pool.
All Penelope had been trying to do was go to the bathroom when she heard that bit of conversation. To say it floored her was an understatement.
Derek Morgan was going without sex. Why? Did he have a medical problem? An emotional one? What was wrong with her man?
She never liked thinking about him having sex with other women- her fantasies of him were reserved for her and him getting it on in the most kinkiest and bendy ways- but she always knew he had a fair amount of sexual encounters. Sure it wasn't as much as his reputation made it seem like. He worked far too often for that and he turned down too many women- all the women who worked in their building and the other law enforcement professionals he met on cases.
He could be having ten times more sex if he put his mind to it.
But she figured he did more than all right. Maybe a couple of partners a month. Add that up for a year and multiply that by the five years she had known him and .....whoa, nellie....now that was a lot of sexual partners.
Even hearing him say he went fifteen months now without fucking didn't make her think he had done that same thing in the past. She knew better. He didn't take home chicks from the bar and shake their hand at the door.
So what had changed?
Penelope went back outside and sat in a patio chair. She racked her brain. What happened fifteen months ago? Or what was going on in these months that might have affected his libido?
She was seriously concerned for him. Though she didn't want to push him into meaningless affairs she was just so used to thinking of him as a sex God....so why was he acting like a born again virgin?
Penelope was mulling over what could be going on with Derek when the man himself, along with Reid and Will, came sauntering outside. To say he looked good would be putting it mildly.
He had on board shorts and a sleeveless t-shirt. All those muscles were out and proud. Penelope would love to lick the bead of sweat that was traveling down his neck right off him. If she was his woman he'd never go without again.
Pulling off his sunglasses and hooking them in his shirt his gaze settled on her. A teasing, sexy smile curved his lips as he made his way closer until he was right on top of her. She could smell the spicy, masculine scent of him as he leaned down to plant a smacking kiss on her forehead.
"Mmm, baby girl, you gonna finally show me what's under that sorang?"
"What makes you think there's anything?"
"Hush, woman, there are little ears around here."
She chuckled. "If you're so worried about that, baby cakes, then you shouldn't ask mama a question you don't wanna know the answer to."
He crouched next to her. She was wearing a straw hat because she was so pale. But still she knew he worried about her burning. He was doing that thing he always did when he studied her, all over her, to see if she was getting too red. Every time, no matter what, he said what he said next "Time to re-apply."
"Stop playing tan police. Some of us are trying to get a little color on our skin."
"Where's the bottle?"
JJ interrupted "If you two start another one of your keep away with that damn sunscreen so help me. You almost knocked the grill into the kiddie pool last time."
Penelope told Derek "You heard her. Back off. House rules."
He made a face at her and went to hunt down the sunscreen. Five minutes later he came back with a bottle he got from Henry's diaper bag.
Penelope complained "That stuff is for babies!"
"You're acting like a baby so it fits perfect." He held it out. "Put it on or I put in on you. What's it gonna be?"
Reid chimed in, from where he was sitting with his feet dangling in the water, "Oh, he's using the stern voice to try and intimidate you into compliance. Don't believe him. He never follows through on his threats. Call his bluff."
Derek asked him "Who side are you on, kid?"
Rossi, who had brought a female friend with him, answered "Remember he grew up in Vegas. He knows how to read a poker face. Not that you got a good one anyway."
Derek shook his head at that and looked at Penelope again. "See what you've got started. All because you're so hard headed, woman."
She titled her face up at him. "You want this cute little button nose protected from the sun's rays then you're gonna have to do it yourself, Hot Stuff, and that goes double for any other parts you want safe. I guess you gotta make a choice: pride or my health?"
Hotch, who was tossing a ball with Jack, called out "Never argue with a woman. Even when you win you lose."
Derek squirted some sunscreen on his hand. "Getting up close and personal with this sexy Goddess ain't losing anything."
Emily coughed and taunted him "Except face!"
He threw her a fake mad look and then he gently rubbed some sunscreen on Penelope's nose. "Okay, now that you had your fun do your arms and legs."
"Woman, you're trying me and you know what happens when you get me mad."
Jack called out "Aunt Pen gets spankings!"
All the adult's mouths hung open and Aaron blushed deeply before telling his son "Remind me to not let you around Aunt Pen when Uncle Derek is in the room again until you're 21."
"Why, Daddy? Uncle Derek won't spank me. Just Aunt Pen."
Derek pointed at Penelope. "You happy now, baby girl? Look what you put in that kid's head."
"Me? Who is the spanker and who is the spankee?"
Hotch called out "Enough! I'm about to turn the hose on you two. Garcia, put on that sunscreen and that is an order from your boss man."
"Yes, sir." She took the bottle and glared playfully at Derek. She whispered "This isn't over."