A/N: I actually scribbled this down like two years ago, and I just re-discovered it within the depths of my computer. Anyways, I thought it was funny, so I figured some people out there might like it too :) Enjoy!
A loud, discontented sigh made Carlisle Cullen look up from where he was reading on the living room couch one particularly rainy Sunday afternoon. His youngest adopted son was standing by the window, staring out at the dismal landscape with his hands in his pockets.
"What's wrong, Edward?" Carlisle asked.
The young vampire in question turned around with a shrug. "Nothing, really," he answered. "Just very, very bored."
Edward nodded. "She's spending the day with Jacob." A grimace passed over his marble features. "She'd better take a good long shower when she gets back tonight."
Carlisle chuckled. "Well, what are the others doing? Maybe they can provide some distractions."
"Jasper went hunting for a snack, and Alice and Rosalie went shopping in Port Angeles. I don't think I'd quite fit in at Banana Republic." He wrinkled his nose to further express his distaste for the feminine activity.
"What about Emmett?"
The younger Cullen grimaced again, something Carlisle thought he was getting quite good at. "He's fooling around on YouTube. Potter-Puppet-something."
"Well, that sounds amusing."
Edward gave a sarcastic nod, his dark eyebrows shooting up. "Pea-brained is what it is. I have the stupid theme song playing over and over in my head thanks to my knucklehead of a brother."
"I heard that!" a rumbling shout came from the floor above. "C'mon, little bro! This is funny stuff!"
Edward rolled his eyes, his shoulders slumping as he disappeared upstairs. The voice that greeted him as he entered Emmett's room was falsely nasal. "Hmm…what is that mysterious ticking noise?"
"So what exactly is this garbage you resign yourself to?" Edward asked, crossing his arms over his chest and standing behind his brother to watch over his shoulder.
"Har har," Emmett replied, pausing the video. "It's a spoof on Harry Potter. Didn't you read that last year?"
"The books were crap to begin with, I can only imagine how painful the take-offs are."
"Quit whining and just watch the damn thing."
"So that's it?" Edward asked a minute later, not letting the video finish before he restarted his griping. "You watch cartoon puppets of idiotic fictional characters sing a horrendously out-of-tune song using only their names?"
"Oh, have a sense of humor, would you?" Emmett scolded.
"Hey, guys! I found the source of the ticking! It's a pipe bomb!"
A cartoon explosion lit up the screen, and Emmett laughed.
"Give me a break," Edward muttered. "I cannot believe that you're stupid enough to enjoy this!"
Emmett rolled his eyes. "If you don't want to watch it, then don't watch it," he advised. "Go find something else to do."
Edward didn't move. "Who's that supposed to be?"
"I like him."
Emmett made a face. "Why?"
"Well, he killed all the rest of them, didn't he?" Edward explained, heading for the door. "Now, please, for Christ's sake stop watching that so that I don't have to hear it constantly."