The Summer of Our Discontent

Chapter 1

"Max, wake up. Max, wake up. MAAAAAAAAAXXX, WAKE UP DANG IT!!!!!!!!"

I bolted upright, momentarily forgetting we were at my mom's house. Nudge was standing above my bed, smiling like a maniac.

Uh-oh.

I groaned. "What could possibly be this important Nudge?"

Her smile turned evil. Then her face started to melt away, showing slitted nostrils and a baldhead with pulsing veins.

Voldemort? I shrieked and started scrambling out of my covers. She/He started advancing on me. I got to the door, but when I opened it I saw a sight that made me freeze with shock and horror so absolute that even Voldemort seemed to fade away.

It was Fang.

In a dress.

I started sobbing, "Fang! What have they done to you?" He just patted my head.

"It's okay Max, you'll understand soon enough."

Meanwhile, Voldemort grabbed my arms and threw me against the wall. I shook my head to clear away the black spots. But when I looked up I wasn't in my room anymore. All around me there were people in grass skirts and horribly bright flower prints. It burned my eyes.

"GET AWAY FROM ME!!!!!!! NOOOOOOO, THE PETALS ARE TOO BRIGHT!!!!!"

I writhed in pain on the cobblestone ground. Then the colors started to fade away until I was somewhere else.

I felt saltwater being sprayed on me and saw that I was standing on an old fishing boat. I saw the back of a familiar guy.

"IGGY! Thank god you're here! I'm so lost, what's happening?"

Iggy turned around, grinning his cheeks off. He was missing a front tooth and wearing an old-fashioned sailor uniform.

"Aye mate, ye won't be lost for long, were headed right toward that there's x-marks the spot!"

Oh, great. Was EVERYONE crazy here?

I didn't have time to consider this because suddenly a huge, and I mean huge, mass rose out of the water. I opened my mouth in alarm.

"Hey, Iggy, that's a really big-"

The whales massive jaws clamped around the dinky boat, including me. I was swallowed up into blackness.

"Max, wake up. Max, wake up. MAAAAAAAAAXXX, WAKE UP DANG IT!!!!!!!!"

How was this familiar? Oh, yeah. I launched myself out of bed to the other side of the room, grabbing a nearby lava lamp and pointing it at Nudge.

"STAY AWAY FROM ME VOLDY!!!! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO FANG?!!?!?!"

"Max, I'm right here."

Fang? He was standing by the door, looking uneasy. And, praise the lord, he was wearing pants.

"FANG!! YOU'RE NOT IN A DRESS!!!" I ran over and hugged him. He looked at me like I had lost it.

"Why did you just call Nudge 'Voldy'?" Iggy snickered. The whole flock, mom and Ella were in my room.

"IGGY!!! YOU'RE NOT IRISH!!!"

"I'm…sorry? Max what's wrong with you?"

"I don't know. What happened that you saw?"

Nudge piped up, still looking a little scared. "Well, Fang was up and he heard you screaming so we all came down here and it looked like you were having a bad dream cause you were saying stuff about what could possibly this important and Voldemort and dresses and Fang and grass skirts and flowers that were to bright and a boat and a whale. Then you woke up." And no, I didn't forget punctuation; Nudge just never stops to take a breath.

I turned red.

"Oh, er, let's just pretend this never happened… aaand, go back to sleep."

They all sighed and filed out. I heard Iggy snicker, "Fang, maybe we should get someone to monitor you and make sure you don't start trying on dresses." Then something sounding distinctly like a shoe beaning someone in the head.

"Just as long as you don't start wearing green waistcoats and stealing peoples gold."