This is my first attempt at fanfic. Usually I am sucked into reading them, but at the moment none of my stories have been updated! Hope you like it:)

Thanks to my beta, secretobsession7, for cleaning up my mess;)

~Chapter 1~Agent 00hot~


Are you frigging kidding me? Why didn't anyone tell me he was this hot? All these months I heard about Edward Cullen, the one who had moved on to the F.B.I., and not once did these morons mention that their old friend was a total hottie. I was trying to play this cool, but I couldn't help but sneak glances at this green-eyed God with the best hair I had ever seen.

I was so happy the guys at work had convinced me to go out with them tonight. I was usually content to sit home and read...I know, boring...but I had a really shitty week at work and needed to vent with my co-workers. After all, I was only twenty-four. I guess it wouldn't kill me to hang out with other people once in a very great while.

Snapping me right out of my reverie, was the most velvety voice that said, "Hey beautiful girl, what would you like to drink?"

And wait, did he just call plain ole me beautiful girl? I am plain jane Bella Swan, maybe he had gotten a few drinks for himself first!

"I'll take a vodka cran with a lime please." Shit, shit, shit, my voice raised higher than normal at the end of my sentence, which typically attracts small dogs and makes me sound like an old lady. Okay, I seriously need to gain some composure if I want to have even a little bit of a good time tonight. I came out to blow off steam, not get even more stressed out.

"Hey Bella, tell Edward about the time you took out that parolee in the lobby for showing up late."

Just then I could have killed Mike Newton. The fucker always found a way to put me in the spotlight. I HATE the spotlight! All I could do was mumble and turn bright red. I couldn't even begin to figure out how to muster a response, when thank the Lord, Jessica called to me from across the bar. I have never been so happy to hear Jessica Stanley call my name in my entire life. I excused myself and practically ran, more like fast walked, over to where she was sitting.

Jessica and I went to high school together. Though we weren't particularly close, we were friendly when we saw each other.

"Hey Jess," I said, rather excitedly. "How's it going?"

"Things are pretty good, Bella. I just landed a pretty good gig as an office manger at Black, and Clearwater. The pay is okay, I get to work downtown, and hopefully I'll get to meet a hot lawyer."

"Good for you, Jess. That is like the biggest law firm in Seattle."

"Well, it didn't hurt that my dad knew someone, who knew someone, well you get the picture. I nailed the interview, and they offered me the job. Um, Bella, there is a very hot guy with fucked up hair trying to get your attention."

As I turned to look, Edward was in-fact staring at me, holding a pink drink in his hand, and yes, his hair was indeed fucked up.


When Emmett called me to go out I almost choked on my Red Bull. Since that pussy whipped bastard never made it out, I was definitely going to join him for a few beers. Tanya was out of town visiting her parents, so I had a hall pass too. Let's face it, I really didn't give two shits what she would have said anyways.

We had been together for a little more than a year. Things were definitely on the downward spiral, but I was used to the constant piece of ass, and was scared shitless to just end it. Tanya was cool enough to hang out with, I just couldn't imagine us going any further. I also couldn't imagine telling her she had to move out of my condo. Not that I ever actually asked her to move in, but that's another story.

Emmett had just gotten a job as a parole officer for the State of Washington. I used to work there until I got my current job at the F.B.I. almost six months ago. It figured that just when my good friend was about to start the job, I got a new one.

We were meeting at an outdoor bar in downtown Seattle. It was surprisingly nice out and not fucking raining, so the whole city was probably going to be there. I didn't love crowds, but I did love Emmett like a brother.

I picked out my new True Religion jeans with a green Affliction t-shirt that brought out the color of my eyes. I am not going to lie, I am one vain motherfucker. Did I mention that the shirt shows off the bottom of my tat? I threw on my doc martens, ran my fingers through my ever unruly hair, and was on my way. I jumped on my Harley and proceeded to make my way downtown. Yes, I have a Harley in a city where it rains most of the time, but the times it is nice out make it so worth it. I love my Road King almost as much as I love my Volvo. It may not make sense, but it is what it is.

I rode up to The Volturi, and paid the guy at the door twenty bucks to keep an eye on my bike. I flashed my badge, and he let me in without having to wait in the line that wrapped around the building. I spotted Emmett at the bar and made my way over to him. We did the awkward guy hug thing and he handed me a beer.

"Hey Em, you're looking good!" He looked lean and less sloppy than the last time I had seen him. "The eight weeks at P.O. School really helped your lazy ass!"

"So you are The Edward Cullen?" came a loud annoying voice from behind me. "Hey, dude, Emmett has been going on and on about you since the day we met. I almost thought you two were lovers!"

This obnoxious fucker was named Mike Newton, and he was giggling at his lame attempt at a joke.

"Mr. F.B.I., too good to stick with us state workers. What do you make like $65,000? Big deal. I'll get there some day."

Didn't this douche bag know when to shut the hell up? And for his information, I was making way more than that.

Emmett could see that old Mikey poo was getting under my skin, so he proceeded to introduce me to a dude named Jasper. Apparently, that's not such an odd name in Texas where he was from. I was happy to see Ben and Tyler, who I knew from when I worked there, and was relieved to see that they were rolling their eyes at Newton. I looked behind Mikey and noticed a petite girl stuck sort of behind him. He was acting like such a jackass, he didn't even realize she was trying to get out from behind him. I figured it must be his girlfriend, and she must be used to it by now.

Emmett looked over to where I was staring and took a deep breath. " Newton, move out of the fucking way. I'm sure Bella is over being crushed behind you."

He moved out of her way, and was more than happy to assist her in moving in front of him. For some reason she looked disgusted to have him touching her. She swatted his hand away from her, and if looks could kill, he would have been one dead bastard.

She had great hair; curly, brown, and long. I couldn't see the rest of her since she was using it to shield her face.

"Edward, this is Bella. She works with us," Emmett said, nonchalantly.

As she looked up I noticed her cheeks were flushed pink, she was chewing on her bottom lip, and she had the most beautiful brown eyes I had ever seen. She sort of nodded hello and seemed super nervous and fidgety. I guess being in close proximity to Newton could do that to a girl. It was my turn to buy a round, so I ordered the guys beers and looked over to Bella.

"Hey beautiful girl, what would you like to drink?"

W.T.F.! I am Edward Cullen, a trained F.B. fucking I. investigator. Beautiful girl? I felt like I was in college trying to be smooth in order to get laid. She answered me in what started out to be a normalish girl voice, and ended up with a high pitched squeak. I could not imagine this girl being a parole officer. A kindergarten teacher maybe, but a P.O.?

Newton then started talking about her taking someone down, and she looked horrified. Just then a girl with funny teeth and big tits called to her from across the bar. She did an awkward shuffle run-walk thing and went over to talk to her. I felt uncomfortable for Bella and wanted to kick the shit out of Newton because of it. All I could do was run my hands through my hair repeatedly, and try to relax.

The drinks came, and I was stuck holding onto the pink thing in a fancy glass, trying not to look like a total homo in my $300 jeans. I wasn't sure if I should bring it over to her or not. I made eye contact with the girl she was talking to and pointed to beautiful...err...Bella. She turned around, and like a magnet, our eyes locked and remained that way.

Let me know what you think so far! I'm maxandmo on Twitter.