As soon as Japan became engrossed in America talking Hong Kong slipped the battered remains of the crushed cell phone out of the Japanese man's pocket. Pulling out a screwdriver with made in China written on the side (a joke Korea would often make while pointing at Hong Kong) he carefully undid the screws on the unbroken cell's case.
After carefully switching the insides of the two phones and replacing the screws on the unbroken case, he slipped the new phone which was now indistinguishable from the one he had broken. Hong Kong, of course, kept the unused pieces, slipping them back into his pocket. With a new frame he could sell it for a profit on the internet.
Finally, having that task accomplished Hong Kong returned to pretending to pay attention to the meeting while he searched for Korea amongst the assembled nations, finally finding him.
He was sitting next to Poland and Lithuania again.
Slumping in his chair with an irritated huff (barely audible of course) Hong Kong pulled out the binoculars, turning them over in his hand distractedly. His situation was becoming increasingly frustrating.
Hong Kong was beginning to suspect that Korea was doing this to purposefully irritate him. But in the end, he couldn't do anything truly substantial to alleviate the problem.
After all, if slapping the other nation in the face with a large Tuna didn't inform Korea of his displeasure little else could.
Becoming bored with looking at the binoculars, Hong Kong pulled the schedule of the meeting back out (he could idly hear Austria leafing through some papers as though looking for something) and flipped it open.
As he scanned the pages with an absolute lack of attention he vaguely heard America spout something about heroes or some nonsense.
All at once, he recalled the conversation with Germany and he swiftly turned to the page on the schedule where he had seen Canada's name. Just as he recalled, Canada was to speak directly after America.
Now paying full attention to the boisterous American, Hong Kong came to the realization that it was indeed America's time to speak instead of him just jumping up to the podium overriding anyone who was supposed to take the stand as he was oft to do. There were exceptions to this rule of course but more often than not they were few and far between. Evidence to America actually belonging up there included the fact that England was letting him speak and also that America was busy cramming food into his bottomless stomach, which must have been lined with grease by now, instead of fighting someone off.
He wondered if the grease helped with digestion.
Hong Kong slowly nodded to himself in understanding of the situation he was now presented with. He didn't need Korea to bring up Canada; the meeting would provide him the opportunity itself.
Pulling his sleeve up and glancing at his watch, Hong Kong checked the time with the schedule. About three minutes before it would be Canada's turn to speak. Now the only question that remained was who to spy on first?
France? No, if he wanted anything other than the perverse he should wait until the promiscuous nation has had a chance to eye Canada, regardless of how much it irritated him.
England? His opinion was most likely of the paternal kind so not many concerns there.
America? Hong Kong was pretty sure he already knew where the America's interests lay.
Prussia? Hmm, he would do. Hong Kong had become rather suspicious of the albino of late with his appearing at Canada's house at odd hours of the day demanding pancakes which the blonde would eventually make after some grumbling depending on the hour, much to the silverette's delight.
Hong Kong had been present for a few of these occasions and was quite honestly confused, a state he greatly disliked. The cause of his confusion was exactly what Prussia wanted. One minute he would be joking around with Canada, teasing the blonde mercilessly in a friendly way, then would start lightly touching the blonde, and not the friendly punch or something of the ilk.
Hong Kong liked consistency, and aside from having an ego larger than the Hindenburg (and just as volatile) Prussia was not that when it came to Canada.
Now confident in his plan, Hong Kong brought the binoculars to his eyes and focused on the albino seated next to Germany.
I'm, too awesome for my shirt,
Too awesome for my shirt,
So awesome it hurts.
Was Prussia unbuttoning his blue jacket?
Yes, yes he was.
It was decidedly awkward for Hong Kong who dared not look away lest he miss an important thought, as unlikely as that possibility was becoming.
"Alright America, you're time is up." Germany barked from his seat next to Prussia, causing said ex-nation to immediately lose his train... dance... whatever of thought.
"What? Why?" America whined as he pouted, stubbornly crossing his arms over his chest.
"Because other people need to speak." Germany calmly explained to the pouting nation.
Finally, the idiot shuts up. Going on about how awesome he is, no one is as awesome as me, everyone knows that.
"Okay, Canada, you're up." Germany stated, pointing to the startled northern nation.
"You, Canada, get up. Now." Canada glanced about nervously, shocked more than anything by being noticed by the stoic German. Hong Kong was unsurprised, as Germany would likely remember Canada at least until this particular conference was over after their encounter earlier.
Ooh, Mattie's up. Awesome, he's so cute when he blushes and I'm gonna make sure he does, if only he'd be more open to having his vital regions invaded by my awesome five meters we'd be set. Oh god am I blushing? Crap, I am. Well, as long as only Mattie can do it and turnabout is fair play. Just need to wait until he's up there. Hong Kong watched in disgust as a proud and somewhat maniacal grin stretched over the albino's mouth at those thoughts.
Well, that was informative. Hong Kong turned his head and binoculars to look at France, reasoning that he would most likely have finished with any too explicit fantasies by that point. Hong Kong did not particularly like France for several reasons, his infatuation with Canada being but one of them. The fact that Hong Kong had lived with both China and England also had an- holy hell something just slithered over his foot.
Startled, Hong Kong shot his eyes from the binoculars down to the floor to watch a snake slither past his shoe and move further under the table. Where the devil did that come from?
Wait, he recognized those markings on its back from earlier. Hong Kong immediately shot his gaze to where Egypt was seated watching France spitefully from his seat as Canada approached the Frenchman, who was seated right next to England and the podium and watching the approaching blonde lecherously.
Oh gāisǐ, he didn't.
Of course he did. Hong Kong snatched up his binoculars in a panic, now realizing that he had a definite timeline before France would no longer be quite as focused on Canada. Swinging the binoculars around, he focused on the Frenchman.
Oho, here comes mon petit lapin, bien. I cannot wait to pull him into my lap and show him amour. All I have to do is pull him into my lap, slip my hand around his waist and take his- oh god something is slipping up my pant leg. Hong Kong watched in amusement as France suddenly sat perfectly still, eyes opening wider than Hong Kong believed to be physically possible.
It's slithering up my leg, merde it's a freaking snake! Hong Kong almost smiled at the way France's mouth opened in a silent scream. He promptly lost the smiling feeling after what happened next when Canada approached the Frenchman on his way to the podium.
"Mathieu, aidez-moi!" France cried, leaping from his chair and grabbing the startled Canadian by his shoulders.
"There's a snake in my pants!" France practically screamed in the both startled and now red with embarrassment look on the Canadians face. Hong Kong felt his hands curling into fists around the binoculars, dropping both it and hands to his lap to shoot a furious glare at Egypt, who looked rather shocked at the whole affair he had caused (his eyes were a smidge wider than usual being the sole indicator).
"Dammit Francis you bloody git, get the hell off him." England shouted, rising to his feet to grab at the Frenchman.
"Noooo, I need help with the snake. Mathieu, give me your hand." France exclaimed, grabbing for the hand of the nation in his grasp.
"W-what, why papa?" Canada demanded awkwardly as he held his arm as far away from the other blondes grasping hand as he could.
"I need you to stick your hand in my pants and pull the snake out." France screamed, lunging for the other nation's hand. Canada, by now, had turned an excessively deep shade of red at the words spouted by his former guardian in a panicked frenzy.
"You perverse wanker, let go of him!" England demanded, grabbing France and trying to pull him away from Canada.
Sadly, France refused to relinquish his hold on Canada, instead using his former colony to try and keep him away from England. The startled northern nation, now over balanced, fell thereby pitching the three of them into a pile of confused limbs and cursing nations on the floor.
"Gaaaah! It bit me!" France screeched from the floor, an octave an opera singer would envy.
There was a slight cracking sound following that screech of pain, prompting Hong Kong to examine the binoculars.
The high note seemed to have cracked the cheap glass lenses.
Pity, they were useless now.
Hong Kong returned his gaze to the two nations still grappling on the floor (Canada having escaped unnoticed as per usual) and watched as the small snake slithered out of France's pant leg and underneath the table once again. Hong Kong shook his head in pity for the poor reptile, just catching as Egypt leaned underneath the table before rising once again, a slight bulge moving up his sleeve only to disappear into the bulkier part of his robes effectively hiding any evidence of the snake.
"The snake bit me, Angleterre, quick! Suck the poison out!" France exclaimed, pulling the other nations face towards his groin. England's face grew a deep shade of red before he promptly pulled his head back and head butted the offending nation's crotch, causing the Frenchman to release him in favour of grabbing his vital regions and rolling in pure anguish.
"Why?" France wheezed in an extremely high pitched voice.
"What do you mean why you pervert, you know exactly why." England spat, a light red splash on his cheeks from what had nearly occurred.
"Wait," France wheezed, wobbling to his feet and patting his pants down, "it's gone, you did it Angleterre!"
"What the hell are you babbling about frog?" England barked at the other blonde.
"You saved me, you deserve a... reward." France answered in a sultry tone, slinking up to England before grabbing his green uniform, attempting to undo the buttons before batted France's hands away.
"Get away from me you git."
"Non, not until I 'repay' you."
"Get off me!"
"Alright, that's en- gurk." Germany found himself yanked by his collar until he was eye to eye with a very angry but deeply blushing Hungary.
"Shut up, if you mess this up I'll hurt you." She hissed into the German's face. Germany glanced down to the camera the woman was holding before scowling.
"This is a meeting, not a strip tease." He hissed back to her to which she just shook her head furiously.
"Let go of my shirt!" England shouted from back at the scene.
"Five bucks says Francis gets him down to his boxers before the limey gets away." Prussia declared loudly.
"Ten says he doesn't get past his undershirt." Netherlands shot back.
"I'll take that bet." America declared.
Soon, the whole room had begun belting out bets and China had begun cranking out statistics which didn't really affect anything and no one paid attention to anyway.
Germany was hammering away at the table demanding silence while Hungary was attempting to pull him away from said table and shut him up while Japan used his cell phone to take pictures of the two fighting, or groping in France's case but it was being described to Sealand by Finland as fighting, nations.
Hong Kong watched as Canada edged away from the combating nations and towards his seat, reasoning rightly that it would be awhile before everything would die down as Germany was the only one who would bother correcting the situation and he was busy trying to get the shoulder strap of Hungary's camera off of his neck as he was finding it difficult to breathe and hence talk.
It took another hour and a half for order to be restored but, by then Canada's turn to speak had passed.
Netherlands won the bet.
America didn't pay.
Hong Kong was unsurprised.
Hong Kong was standing alone in the buildings cafeteria, examining the broken binoculars morosely. He was... depressed? Yes, it felt like depression, or maybe just sadness. No, no it was depressed. He didn't even break the accursed things, yet he was going to be blamed for damaging the cheap yet unusual device.
Abruptly, Hong Kong brightened. After all, Korea already thought the things were broken, so he could likely just claim they were again. But Hong Kong disliked lying obviously. Maybe he could just slip them into Korea's pocket and the other nation would think he sat on them.
"Hong Kong." A stoic voice demanded, prompting Hong Kong to turn his head slightly, then up to meet Egypt's green eyes.
"Yes?" He answered shortly and in monotone, still irate at what the Egyptian had done during the meeting with the snake, regardless of how hilarious it had been to see France getting beaten to a pulp by one of his father figures (he chose to refrain from seeking out and informing Seychelles that his dad could beat up hers).
The Egyptian seemed to tense at that, his eyes narrowing in spite and he let out a hissed breath. Hong Kong raised a gargantuan eyebrow at the uncharacteristic display of emotion by the Egyptian, what was wrong with him?
"I...I..." Egypt gritted his teeth for a moment, his knuckles turning white as he squeezed them tightly. "I... like your shirt." Egypt spat, turning his head away from the other nation with his eyes closed tightly in self-loathing.
Hong Kong was speechless. Egypt, stoic Egypt, the nation he had been a rival with for being Canada's stoic friend had just complimented him. Him!
Hong Kong opened his mouth to answer or at least express medical concern (of course the last time he had done so they had both fallen off a boat and into Hong Kong's harbour) but the nation he had been about to question had already departed, stomping away with tensed shoulders and still clenched fists.
Hong Kong remained where he was in bafflement, pondering exactly what had occurred.
Egypt had just complimented him, in a non sarcastic way. Picking apart the encounter, Hong Kong could find no evidence of mocking intent or sarcastic bite (though he felt that Egypt may have wanted to do so literally) in the comments.
He, Hong Kong, had been complimented.
By Egypt, his sworn rival.
Hong Kong just couldn't wrap his head around it.
"H-hey Hong Kong." Hong Kong started; surprised that he had been so engrossed in his inner musings that he had not even heard the other nation approach. Spinning about with his face composed once again he looked at the nervous visage of Canada.
"Hello Matthew, what do you need?" Hong Kong inquired politely.
"W-well, I was just w-wondering if something was wrong?" Canada asked, twisting his hands slightly in his polar bears fur that he carried everywhere. Hong Kong arched an eyebrow in curiosity, both at the question and how the bear didn't seem to care about the hands twisting his fur.
"Why would something be wrong?" Canada looked away awkwardly and tightened his grip on his bear slightly as a light pink dusted his cheeks.
"W-well, it's just that y-you seemed to h-have been avoiding me t-today." Hong Kong closed his eyes and sighed inwardly, he was afraid of something like this happening. "I-, well, I missed you." Hong Kong's eyes opened again in shock, he expected Egypt to do something like that but not Canada.
"What did you throw at me?"
"W-what?" Hong Kong stopped and pondered the meaning of missed in that context, accursed English words with multiple meanings. In the end, Hong Kong decided to take the middle road with the situation and just copy him.
"I missed you too. I apologize if it appeared that I was avoiding you, I was merely busy." Canada visibly deflated in relief, a warm smile sweeping across his features.
"Oh good, I'm sorry for assuming but after Gupta started acting all weird earlier I just thought-."
"Wait a moment, Egypt was acting strangely. Why?" Hong Kong demanded, thinking that perhaps Canada had some idea as to why Egypt went and did something so odd as to compliment Hong Kong. He watched intently as Canada brought his hand to his chin in contemplation.
"I'm not sure. After the meeting he looked really upset and wouldn't look me in the eye. Then he apologized for 'his shameful mistake' and then said something about seeking punishment to atone for his error or something like that. It was weird." Canada took his hand away from his chin with a shrug, a confused expression on his face.
Hong Kong stood shock still and ramrod straight, his eyes slightly wider in shock and fury.
The way Egypt had acted like he was in physical pain when conversing with him.
Egypt complimenting him on his shirt.
It all fit. Damn him, even when Egypt was punishing himself he managed to piss Hong Kong off. He needed a distraction, fast, or he was going to break something valuable, and the binoculars were already broken.
"Canada's breasts belong to Korea!"
"Korea, get off my brother or-."
Hong Kong whipped his head around, his massive eyebrows forming a small v above his eyes in annoyance as he ignored, with great effort mind you, what was occurring between Korea and Canada.
Now where did that noise come from?
Japan flicked through the images on his cell phone, a light pink blush over his cheeks as he went through them. Japan was so happy he had developed a phone with a camera built in; it made things so much easier than lugging around one of those massive bulky cameras like he used to have to and it was far more inconspicuous. He had a good hour and a half of images from France attempting to undress England, even though France had lost more clothes than the Englishman by the time Germany freed himself from Hungary and restored order.
In the end, Japan was the real winner and Hungary won by association as she had managed to keep Germany occupied while Japan had taken the pictures. He and Hungary had a bit of an agreement between them where should either of them come across any 'pictures' of the male on male variety then they would share them between each other.
A ding from his phone caused Japan to glance curiously at his phone. A new message? Someone was sending him some images, from Hungary's phone.
Japan brightened and opened the file to see a picture of Korea groping the chest of a very embarrassed and flustered America look alike. Japan felt his blush deepen at that, even if he knew it wasn't actually America he could certainly use the image to draw some pictures more suited to his personal palate.
Another ding shook him from his thoughts and he immediately opened the new file from Hungary's phone, hoping for additional pictures of the pair of nations together.
What he got instead was a photo of a pair of furious brown eyes beneath a pair of deeply furrowed gigantic eyebrows resembling a pair of black caterpillars staring at him from his screen.
Japan very calmly rose to his feet, tucked his phone into his pocket and went to find somewhere small and dark to hide for awhile.
Sorry for the wait, that was a long one. I really wanted to end this arc, I was a little tired of it and it looked like it was going to drag out and I didn't want to do that. Anyway, this is a sort of farewell hurrah from this story for now. Remember the story I alluded to several chapters ago when I hit the 100 review mark? Well, I finally finished figuring it out and decided to start writing it so I plan to work on that now. If I have any other ideas I can't use in it I will probably write them here but, for now this is the end for this story, or collections but whatever. The one I'm going to start writing has this one as a sort of prologue, but they can be read independently.
I just love these characters and their dynamic and they're going to be the main characters in the next one. I'd like to say thanks to all my repeat reviewers who helped me keep going with this story, I really appreciated it and I hope to see you with my next one.
Thank you all for everything and I hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it.