Disclaimer: I do NOT own the following wrestlers, or any of the events that actually happened on camera, or anything else mentioned that is recognizable.

I respect the actual beliefs and sexualities of the following wrestlers.

Um... my bad. There might be some inaccuracies with TNA time, and I apologize for that. I'm sorry. So, this is a sequel to Monkey Business. You should read that first. There's het, there's slash... there's explicitness. There's offensive language. Any of those things bother you, please press the back button. If not, read on.

A Fool's Burden

"Alright, so you have Alex?" Allen Jones said into the phone, while he half dragged, half carried Chris Sabin to his car. Chris' arm was around his neck, barely holding on as his feet sluggishly stepped one in front of the other. It started with beer, and then shots- and then Alex challenged Chris to a drinking contest which ended in Alex whipping off his shirt and challenged a bar stool to a duel, while Chris ran out of the bar. While Daniels calmed Alex down, AJ followed Chris, eventually catching up to him in the parking lot of a nearby Steak Hut. While AJ and Daniels both drank a lot that night as well, at least they had some presence of mind.

"Yeah. He passed out right on the stool. He's one heavy little bastard." Daniels muttered a little, but then he said, "Just get Chris home, okay? Alex and I'll meet you two later." Daniels began muttering again, and AJ clearly made out something about throwing Shelley on the street.

"Tell Danny to just leave'em," Chris muttered, leaning his head against AJ's shoulder, "Tell him... tell him to let the bum sleep in the gutter."

"You don't mean that," AJ said, before saying a few more things to Daniels. He hung up, and Chris said, "He bugs me."

"You love him."

"Oh. But he loves his little Vietnamese whore, whatever her name is..."

"Don't talk about Gail like that," AJ scolded, "And she's not Vietnamese, you dolt."

"Gonna put me in my place, Styles?" Chris hiccuped, "Come on, admit it. It's like the freakin flood is coming, and we all gots to pair up. Lex is all over Little Miss Kim, Danny's got his sweetheart... when's the last time we all were together like this?"

"Chris. Sometimes, things change." They finally reached AJ's car, and AJ propped Chris against the car as he opened the backseat. Chris and Alex's ride would have to remain in the parking lot, it seemed, until the morning.

"I'm just sayin. I know things gotta change." Chris stood up, and the world seem to whirl around him. He fell on AJ's shoulder, laughing as he used the older man for support. "Don't let gravity get me, Allie!"

"Allie?" AJ raised an eyebrow, thinking about letting Chris hit the floor for calling him that, but he instead wrapped an arm around Chris' waist and lowered him into the car. "Don't worry Chris, I won't let mean ol' gravity get you."

Chris laughed even more, leaning his head against the seat as soon as he touched the leather. "At least I still have you, right?"

AJ leaned down, looking Chris in the eyes. "Chris, just because they have girlfriends now doesn't mean they're not your friends anymore."

"I know that. Alex can have his Chung Li. I'm happy for him." Chris' voice grew less silly and a lot more serious, making AJ watch him in worry.

"What's wrong?" AJ asked. Chris didn't answer, so AJ repeated his question.

"Allie?" Chris murmured, "Allie, I still have you, right?"

AJ nodded. "I'm not going anywhere, Sabin." Chris' smile grew, and, suddenly, AJ found himself being tugged into the car. He fell on Chris, pushing him down onto the seat. Chris' laughter filled his ears, and AJ began to blush. He wasn't even sure when Chris grabbed his arm. "What's going around that head of yours, Sabin?"

"I still have you?" Chris asked, keeping AJ's eyes on his.

"I already said I wasn't going anywhere." AJ tried to push himself off of Chris, but then Chris' arms went around his waist, pinning him to his body.

"I thought you said you weren't going anywhere," Chris taunted, tightly holding AJ in place. AJ wiggled around, trying to push out, but his position didn't allow for much leverage. Finally, he surrendered, resting against Chris' body.

"Come on Chris, I give," AJ said, "Just let me up."

"You give? Gimme what?" Chris' smirk made AJ involuntarily shiver- he blamed it on the cold air at the time.

"Whatever you want! Just let me up so we can get home!"

"Whatever I want?"

"Yes, wh-" AJ was cut off by the hand moving from his back to his hair, pushing his head down and his lips into Chris'. The shock invaded AJ's senses, rendering him immobile as Chris kissed him. After a moment that seemed longer than any other, Chris finally released him, a small satisfied grin on his face.

"You did say whatever I wanted," Chris whispered. AJ stared down at him, unnerving Chris a little. Through his drunken haze, he thought the look on AJ's face was an angry one. Finally, Chris said, "I'm sorry if that was off limits, I've just really wanted to..."

AJ's mouth crushed against his, making him gasp as AJ initiated a kiss of his own. As soon as the first shock wore off, Chris grabbed AJ's collar, bringing his body closer to his. When they finally moved away from each other, AJ smiled serenely at Chris. It was reaction; he wasn't sure what he was doing, but all he knew was that it felt nice.

Chris' hands tentatively went forward, resting on AJ's hips. When AJ didn't move away, Chris allowed his hands to roam upward and then downward, feeling every muscle on AJ's body AJ's eyes fluttered shut as he enjoyed the feeling of Chris' hands against him, squeezing every now and again. Strong. Warm. Perfect. "Allie..." Chris whispered, almost asking for permission to continue this. There was a moment of silence. Only breathing passed between them as AJ considered the unasked question, but the hands on his body convinced him that there was only one answer. AJ nodded slowly, and Chris pulled him close again, wanting to feel as much of AJ against him as possible.

Chris groaned, his head pounding. It was God's way of reminding him that all fun had consequences. Where for art thou, Midol... Suddenly, he realized exactly where he was. In a car. In a backseat. Laying on top of AJ Styles, who was fully clothed, excepting the shirt that was lifted up to his chin. Chris studied his bared chest, licking his lips hungrily, when the full impact of what happened hit him.

"Holy shit," Chris stared at AJ, eyes on his rising and falling chest, wondering what the hell had he gotten himself into. This was Allen Jones, AJ Styles- there was no way he could have- but he did- fuck.

Chris sighed, thinking better now than never, and he shook AJ. "AJ, wake up," Chris said. Flashes of the night before- hands roaming around, learning each other; lips pressing to revealed skin, marking the other- all flooded his head as he did, making him want nothing more than to continue where he left off. But he had to deny the urge.

"Chris?" AJ's eyes opened, seeing Chris on top of him. As everything became clearer, he realized where they were and what time it was- but his thoughts were still on the position they were in. "Chris, what's-" He fell silent, the pieces falling together slowly in his mind. "Oh... oh God, Chris, did we...?"

"Well we didn't-" Chris made one hand into a fist and poked his finger into it, making the motion as crude as possible, representing the carnal action to the best of his ability- "if that's what you're asking. At least, I'm pretty sure we didn't."

AJ sat up, pulling down his shirt as he settled down, and he shook his head. "No, no we didn't," he said, the previous night's details hitting him in vivid detail, "You fell asleep on top of me- nothing came off. Except my shirt, of course."

The two of them fell silent, just exchanging apprehensive glances every now and again. Finally, Chris said, "We can pretend this never happened, you know."

"I'm not sure I wanna." Chris looked up quickly, trying to figure out what AJ could mean by that. AJ finally turned his attention to Chris. "I have no idea what I'm saying." Chris moved forward, catching AJ off guard. He gulped, watching Chris come closer.

"This is whatever you want it to be," Chris said, "Really, we can pretend this never happened." AJ nodded, and Chris quietly hoped that AJ would interrupt with another line like the last one. But he didn't.

"We should go to the hotel," AJ said, changing the subject quickly, "Chris and Alex are probably wondering where we got to."

Chris Sabin sat on the bench, his head in his hands. He tried not to seem too out of it in front of his friends and coworkers, but he couldn't help it. Maybe if he could get Allen Jones out of his head, or maybe if AJ and Taylor frickin Wilde (he couldn't think her name without the frickin anymore. It was so juvenile and he knew it, but he lacked the ability to care anymore) weren't so la-dee-da in your face about their relationship, maybe Chris could have gotten over it. But no.


AJ and Taylor frickin Wilde were always together, wrapped in each other. With all the public displays of emotion Chris wasn't allowed to lavish on AJ while they were still together. Arms thrown around necks, lips pressed against each other in chaste kisses, promising something a lot less chaste once they moved out of the public eye...

And then there was Chris' memories, haunting him like a plague. AJ's body, his to touch, his to kiss. He didn't have all of AJ, but damn it, he always thought that they'd one day be out of the quiet rooms and completely unrestricted.

"Hey, fuckface!" Alex Shelley kicked his best friend's leg.

"What do you want, bitch?"

Alex crossed his arms, waiting for Chris to say something more. When he didn't, Alex said, "What was wrong with this one?"

Chris wasn't the type of person to only talk when talked to- Chris was loud, boisterous, and instigating. He loved starting the fun, and being in the middle of it. But Alex noticed that he was getting quieter and less outgoing- he only acted like himself when someone else prompted him. But Alex finally understood what was going on, after talking it over with Gail.

Chris had major blockage. The kind that came from having no nookie of any kind for over.... whenever he broke up with that one chick with the blond hair. He seriously needed to get laid, and Alex Shelley had a long list of women who were willing to take on that task for Chris. But Chris' standards were way too high.

Those in nookie drought don't deny water, Alex believed, and Chris was flat out throwing the water on the ground.

"She wasn't me, okay?" Chris said, "You can't force l'amour, Lex."

"Oh fuck l'amour and pull the stick out of your ass. You're not looking for a wife, are you? What's wrong with having fun?"

"Nothing, but..."

"Then why didn't you give Lindsey a chance?" Alex asked, "What was wrong with her?"

She's nothing like my Allie. None of your women are. Chris shook his head, bidding away the thought quickly. "Can't I just kick it stag? I'm enjoying life sans plus one."

"You're lying, fuckface." Alex put his hand through his hair, sighing. "Look, I'm worried about you. Gail's worried about you. Heck, even Storm and Harris are worried about you. We've all noticed you've been down in a bad way. And you know, I want my partner back."

"I'm fine."

"You're lying."

"Alright, so I am," Chris snapped, deciding honesty might work in his favor, "But I don't need Alex Shelley's little black book to make me feel better."

"Well, don't bite my head off, I'm trying to help!" Alex thought for a moment, and he said, "Fine, no more women. But how about we steal Danny's makeup bag and paint a pretty picture on Joe's bag?"

Chris was about to say no, but then he really thought about it. A good rib could be exactly what he needed to fix his brain. "I'm down."

Chris and Alex walked slowly down the hall, bottles of black nail polish and sticks of eyeliner in their pockets. Stealing from Daniels was way too easy. All they had to do was catch Joe's bag unattended.

"Hey Chris. Would it be wrong if I gave myself a unibrow?" Alex asked, pantomiming drawing in between his eyebrows.

"It would be like saying hey Joe, I'm the one who drew a penis on your bag."

"We're drawing a penis on his bag? Kick ass." Chris tip toed to the turn to the next hallway slowly, shushing his partner. He peeked his head passed the wall, to look around, but then he froze.

Against a nearby wall, Taylor frickin Wilde's arms were around AJ's neck, and AJ's were around her waist. They were talking in quiet voices, but Chris could see the grins that adorned both their faces. Their bodies were so close; not even an inch of space was between them.

"Dude, you'll break the wall." Alex's words registered with Chris, and he realized he was squeezing the door with all his strength. He let go quickly, hoping the happy couple hadn't heard Alex- but he should've known better.

Taylor pulled out of AJ's arms and grinned. "Hey guys!" She waved, and Alex pushed Chris into the room. Chris plastered the best grin he could manage.

"Hey Taylor," Chris said. He looked at AJ, and his grin almost faltered; AJ's facial expression represented exactly how he felt inside. "Hey Al- len," Chris said, correcting himself before he could make the situation any worse. But AJ's eyes went downward, telling him that the damage control was too little too late.

"Alex, Chris," AJ said.

"Well hello there! What are you two lovebirds doing here in this dank, desolate hallway?" Alex asked, "Shouldn't you be on a park bench or something like that?"

"Ha ha, very funny," Taylor said. "We'll get out of your way now." She hugged the both of them, and then she turned to AJ. "Coming, Hun?"

Hun. Chris moaned inwardly as AJ nodded. He slapped Alex's back and said, "See ya later."

"Definitely. Halo's calling us, Styles. I have to show you and your friend over here that Alex Shelley is Master Chief." Alex began walking towards the locker room, leaving AJ with Chris.

"See you around?" Chris asked, trying to make it sound normal.

"Yeah." AJ tried to smile, but it failed so badly that Chris couldn't help but wonder why, why didn't they just pretend that first time never happened. AJ moved passed him, putting an arm around Taylor and walking off with her. Chris began moving to catch up with Alex, but his mind was on the Georgian on the other end of the hall.

AJ couldn't afford to think about Chris like this.

He told himself that, when he ended things with Chris, that all he'd need was time and soon he'd be over him. But every now and then, he found himself missing him- wanting him nearby, whether it just be to knock him for quarters or to play games. And it didn't help, the random times they met up.

You should've known, idiot. It's not like you and Chris don't have the same job.

AJ leaned his head against a pillow, trying to get into the movie Taylor chose out for them, but he couldn't. Chris' voice kept echoing through his head, the laughter, the jokes, the cheesy one liners- everything that made Chris so uniquely Chris.

"AJ?" AJ looked down at Taylor, who was snuggled into his arm, wearing an overlarge shirt and a pair of undies. It was supposed to be simple; he liked Taylor, and he thought she was beautiful. It should have been easy to fall in love with Taylor; it was the reason he decided to say yes to her. She was the ideal in every way, the kind of woman he would've asked for had he the chance. She was independent, sweet, fun, pretty... but every time he tried to imagine a life with her, he just imagined a voice singing out the name Allie in an endearingly annoying way.

"Yeah?" He asked, holding her a little more tightly and affectionately.

There, in his arms, she felt so incredibly comfortable. Like she was safe from anything in the world. She knew, in moments like this, she would do anything to make Allen Jones happy. Anything. "You look distracted."

"I'm fine." He hoped the short answer was enough to satisfy her. He didn't want to lie to her, not now or ever.

"The movie boring you?"

He chuckled. "Honestly?" She grinned and shoved him.

"If you're not enjoying yourself, say something, Hun." She got up and shut off the television before turning back to him, a conniving little smile on her face.

"What's going through your head, Wilde?"

Taylor let her actions speak for her, going onto the bed and crawling over to AJ as slowly as she could. As soon as she was close enough to touch, AJ grabbed her gently and pulled her the rest of the way, settling her in his lap. Her hands went up, framing AJ's cheeks as she pressed her lips into his. AJ's hands held her steady as he took charge of the moment, using his tongue to tease her lips into opening.

Chris' lips, refusing to ever let up, to give up control, inviting AJ's to play or get conquered...

Taylor's tongue met his, following his lead. AJ's hands lowered to the hem of her shirt, and then slipped up, running over her soft curves. She mewled into the sensation, holding the kiss for as long as she could, moving her arms around his neck. Each kiss grew more heated, AJ's hands adding to the arousal Taylor felt.

Taylor pulled away. There were no sounds between them but heavy panting, and AJ's hands stilled. She grabbed the edges of her shirt and lifted it, throwing it off and leaving her in her bra and panties. "Beautiful," AJ whispered, as Taylor grabbed his hands and lifted them onto her breasts, wanting nothing but to feel the intimate touch.

Chris' chest, so defined, so firm under AJ's hands. He moved his hands up slowly, getting used to the unfamiliar body- but wanting to touch more, to pull him close with the same assurance that Chris would do for him...

AJ's shirt went next, and then his pants, and then he pulled Taylor in for another kiss. He explored her mouth, her body pressed against his. After a few more moments in the passionate kisses, Taylor's hands slipped into his waistband, gently touching his thighs before inching them down. AJ lifted his hips, making it easier for her to pull them off.

"Don't worry. We don't have to go that far. We can just... mess around a little. If you ever want to stop, tell me."

As Taylor moved down, kissing AJ's thigh, his mind began to wander somewhere else. He didn't even hear the sound of the condom wrapper being opened, or notice her slip it onto him. He wanted to keep his mind on the gorgeous woman who was with him now, but his train of thought had other plans for him.

What if he had gone this far with Chris? What would it have felt like, Chris between his legs like this?


AJ groaned louder, wrapping his hands in Taylor's hair, feeling her lips wrap around his cock. Her mouth felt so tight as she slowly sucked, relaxing her throat in an attempt to pull more into her mouth. He closed his eyes, enjoying the suction, but when he did, he imagined brown hair between his fingers. Powerful hands on his thighs, pressing against them, not allowing him to push forward at all.


Taylor picked up the pace, drumming her fingers along AJ's thighs. Soon, he felt his insides tightening, and the sensations became too much to bear.


AJ's eyes rolled back as he came, the name falling out of his lips. He wasn't even sure if he was still thinking it or if he actually yelled it aloud. But Taylor heard him, and she couldn't believe it. He can't have said what she heard. It must've been some kind of mistake.

Taylor moved away, staring at AJ with confusion as he tied the condom up and threw it into the trash bin. No, AJ wouldn't cheat on her. No way. There had to be some sort of explanation to what she heard.

"Where were we?" AJ asked, pulling her close. And she put on the best facade she could, hiding her worry- it was impossible. Not someone with a face as guileless as AJ's, with a spirit as kind as his. There had to be an explanation.

She just couldn't make up one.

Chris set the treadmill up to the highest speed he could run. Making himself tired worked so well sometimes; he could only hope today was such a day. So many reminders, so many things he wished he could just trash. Escape. He wanted to be normal, to be himself... but he wanted AJ beside him so badly. Just one more night like the ones before, where no one could find them. Just the two of them, sharing something Chris didn't want to share with anyone else.

If that meant he couldn't have a family, like AJ said, then he didn't want one. If that meant he was wrong, well, he was used to being wrong. He could be one more time. If that meant he wasn't completely square with the man upstairs, well then, he hoped that the all forgiving nature of the big guy would apply to him. Because he was prepared to risk it all for just one more night with his Allie.

"Sabin. Hey, Sabin!" Chris turned his head, trying not to show his distaste at Taylor's presence. He kept running, deciding to watch her from the corner of her eye.

"Look Tay Tay, I'm trying to burn some rubber here. Can we talk later?"

"I really need to talk to you now," Taylor said, her voice sounding a lot less chipper than it usually did.

Chris shook his head, deciding to hear her out. As soon as he got the machine to slow, he hopped off, catching his breath. Finally, he said, "Yes?"

"I didn't think I could ask the other Chris, because of how close he and AJ are-" The statement made Sabin chuckle despite himself; the thought of AJ and Daniels close, after everything he and AJ did together, seemed ridiculous. Before he would never deny the bond they had- they were best friends- but the word close seemed to no longer apply to them. "-but I thought you'd be honest with me."

Chris wiped the sweat off his brow before saying, "Alright, you've caught my interest. What the hell is going on?"

Taylor bit her lip, wondering if she should do this, but finally, it just came out. She'd been carrying it with her for three long, agonizing days, wondering if it could possibly be true, and she could no longer hold it in. "Whose Christy?"

"...Christy?" Chris scratched his head. "Are you giving Danny new nicknames? Seriously, Danielle would freak him out more. Or maybe Evanescence."

"No! No." Taylor looked around, and then she turned back to Chris. "I don't want it to be true, but lately, I've been thinking- I think AJ's cheating on me. I mean, I know he's been so amazing to me, but a few days ago, we were getting-" She flushed. "-you know..."

"Dirty? Close? Busy? Down to business? Sexy?"

"This is serious!"

Chris shook his head. "But I can't take it seriously. I mean, come on, Allen Jones is practically a saint. He wouldn't cheat on you."

"Then why did he shout out Christy when we were... you know?" Taylor asked.

"Look, I don't know anybody named Christy-" Chris' brain suddenly clicked, one conclusion flitting through his thoughts. He kept yammering on about how he'd think he know if there was a such person as Christy, but his brain was elsewhere.

No, AJ would never cheat on Taylor. He had no doubt that there was no Christy. It might have just been wishful thinking on his part, but it was possible- if only a little- that the name AJ shouted out was his own.

What if I told precious little Taylor frickin Wilde that her beloved boyfriend shouted out my name? That I was getting 'you know' with him before she even laid her pretty little manicured fingers into him? That he was all over another man when he said yes to her?

It wasn't fair. Taylor shouldn't have even been with him in the first place. He was Chris' and they both knew it. AJ knew it when he ripped out Chris' heart out of nowhere, without a single warning. And right now, Chris could set things right again. He could...

"You know how I feel. It's not just going to go away like you think yours will. So... always know that someone who loves you is here for you."

"Look, Taylor, you're blowing this out of proportion," Chris said, feeling his insides twist in agony, "He probably just shouted Christ. Guys do that when they get that warning before the finale. You know, it ranges from nasty grunting to shouting out the savior. Just be glad you didn't get the former. It can get ugly. Trust me."

Taylor looked up, hope written across her face. "You really think... he just shouted out Christ?"

"Oh, definitely. Face facts, Baby Spice... you bagged an angel there. He's not cheating." He patted her on the shoulder, smiling brightly at her. Finally, she smiled back.

"You're right. Thanks, Sabin." Taylor pulled him into a hug, and he put his arms around her too. Returning the hug. Because, as far as she could know, nothing was wrong. Taylor finally let go and left, a new air to her walk- a more relaxed one- and all Chris could do was tighten his fists. He turned around and kicked the treadmill, holding back a scream.

There was no way running could soothe what he was feeling now. He snatched up his stuff and stormed off.

Tonight, I'm getting fucked up.

AJ was woken up that night by the sound of his phone ringing. His hand slapped against the bedside table without any awareness, trying to grab the phone before it woke up Taylor. Finally, he grabbed the phone and pressed the talk button, pushing it near his ear. "It's late, jackass," he muttered quietly, "What do you want?"

"Allie? Allie, is that you?" A hiccup made AJ blink- he was awake now. He stood up and quietly walked to the bathroom, sneaking a look at Taylor. She moved a little, but she was still in deep slumber. He closed the door and then turned his attention back to Chris.

"You're drunk, you alcoholic idiot. Call me back in the morning."

"One, I'm not a alcoholic. I'm a drunk. It's different." Chris hiccuped again, and then he said, "Two... I need you, Allie. I don't know where I am."

"What do you mean, you don't know where you are?"

"I mean I don't know where I am. I left the bar and... I don't know. I don't know where I am. Please, come find me."

AJ quickly moved out of the room, finding his bag and pulling out some clothes to wear. As he shoved them on, he said, "Chris, what bar did you go to?"

"I don't know."

"Damn it, Chris, give me something so I can find you!" AJ opened the door, taking the stairs instead of the elevator- the quicker he got to his car and found that idiot, the better.

"I can hear cars." Chris paused for a moment. "I think I'm by the highway, Allie."

"Well, where?" AJ got into his car, "Come on, Chris, help me out here!"

"I'm sorry Allie."

"Damn it Chris!" AJ hit his head against the steering wheel. "Chris, come on, where are you? Focus. Give me something, anything. What can you see?"

There was a silence, but then Chris said, "I see a sign."

"Good Chris. That's good. What does it say?"

"Exit 56."

AJ smiled a little- at least he got something out of Chris. "Okay, I'll be right there. Don't move an inch. Wait for me."

"Okay Allie. I won't."

AJ started the car, saying a few more words to Chris before hanging up the phone. He never expected that Chris would call him at one o'clock in the morning because he got drunk and had 'no idea where he was'. Chris was a group drinker; yes, he went too far, but there was always someone there to get him home. Why the hell was Chris drinking alone?

AJ finally got off on exit 56, turning into the first bar he saw. He yelled out Chris' name, looking around for him, but the only answer was chilling silence. He could only hope Chris had listened and didn't go too far. He kept walking, shouting out his name, wondering why he didn't think to ask Chris how close to the exit he was or anything like that. So stupid...

"Allie?" AJ looked around, finally finding Chris sitting on the floor next to the dumpster behind the bar. He ran over and looked down at Chris, shaking his head. Chris was leaning against the fence, an almost empty bottle of beer nestled between his spread legs.

"Chris?" AJ bent down to study his friend; wasted was the best word to describe him.

"Allie." Chris' lips curled into a small smile. He wanted to reach out and touch AJ, but he wasn't sure which of the three AJ's in front of him was his Allie. "You came."

"Of course I did, dummy." AJ said, sighing in relief. He grabbed the bottle and hurled it into the dumpster, where it could cause no more harm. It was what reduced Chris to such a pitiful shell of a man AJ knew and lo- cared about. "How much did you drink?"

Chris shrugged. "It's nothing to worry about." He wished the bottle was still there; he wanted to drink some more, so he could fight the feeling in his stomach. "Lost count."

AJ grabbed Chris by the collar and smacked him across the face firmly, trying to give him some presence of mind. Chris blinked a few times, and the three AJ's merged into one person. "Come on," AJ said, "Let's go, moron." He turned around. "Wrap your arms around my neck, Chris."

Chris did as he was told to the best of his ability, AJ's hands helping to secure his arms around his neck. Once AJ was sure they were holding on, he stood up, carrying him. He grabbed Chris' legs and wrapped them around his chest, keeping his hands on Chris' thighs, letting him ride piggyback. He wasn't sure Chris could even stand, let alone walk.

Chris rested his head on AJ's shoulder, feeling somewhat comfortable. AJ's familiar smell was welcome; it made him content with the world. It made him want to fight the floating feeling; his place was on Earth, with his Allie.

"I miss you, Allie," Chris said softly, "So, so much." AJ tried to ignore the words, but they hit him so powerfully that he couldn't help but think about how much he missed Chris too. He kept quiet, trying not to let this get anymore awkward, but then Chris said, "I know."

"Know what, Chris?"

"You. You miss me too." AJ gulped, still trying to use silence to deflect the conversation, but then Chris said, rambling drunkenly, "My name. While Tay Tay was sexy timing you, you said 'Chris'."

"I don't know what you're-"

"Taylor told me. Don't worry, she thinks you said Christ now. I convinced her. And besides, she doesn't seem to think you're capable of man on man loving, so you're deep dark secret's safe."

AJ listened to every single word, trying to find some hidden meaning in them. When he couldn't, he said, "And why did you do that?"

"Because it's your job," Chris' words all came out like a whisper, fading away on the wind, but AJ heard all of them. "You're still cheating on her. Not in body, but in brain. Mind. You know what I mean." AJ finally got to the car, and he happily slid Chris into the backseat, trying to escape the words that made so much sense, but were so damned wrong.

AJ went into the front seat, and Chris said, "Your mind is still mine, Allie. I'm sorry, but it is. Can't change that."

AJ turned around, looking at him angrily. "What the hell do you want from me, man?"

"The same thing you want from me," Chris said.

AJ turned back to the steering wheel, unable to believe the nerve, the damn nerve of Chris Sabin. He felt like he was trapped now; he knew it wasn't something Chris planned, but why did each word have to stab so deeply into him?

When they got back, AJ began carrying Chris again, this time to his room. It was full circle now; same car, same drunken Chris. Except last time, something that should've never been started, and this time, AJ was feeling the consequences. When Chris offered him a way out, told him that they could pretend it never happened, he should've just took it- he shouldn't have kissed Chris again right before they got to the hotel, and he sure as hell shouldn't have let it happen again and again.

AJ took Chris' key from his pocket with some struggle and opened the door. He threw Chris down onto the bed and then put the key down on the bedside table. Without being prompted, he took off Chris' shoes, trying to get him ready for bed. Chris watched him, unable to keep his thoughts to himself anymore as AJ pulled off his pants and threw them to the side. "You want something, Allie?" Chris said, trying to sound seductive.

"Shut up."

Chris struggled to sit up, looking AJ in the eyes. AJ stopped moving, waiting for Chris to say something. "Yes, yes you do. Admit it."

"Chris, I told you..."

"Admit it," Chris said, "Just admit that you want me..."

AJ's lips slammed against Chris' roughly, a kiss fueled by a mix of confusion, rage, and something that felt a lot like... no, he couldn't go there. AJ pulled away and stood up, yelling furiously at Chris "There! There! Are you fucking happy now?"

"No." Chris grabbed AJ's sides, pulling him onto his lap. It happened too easily; either he caught AJ off guard or AJ really wasn't as angry as he appeared to be. Or AJ wanted this just as badly as Chris did, and deeply, subconsciously, something told him not to fight. "I won't be happy until..." He grabbed the sides of AJ's face, feeling the same way he felt all that time ago, when he first kissed him. Scared, but willing to take the plunge.

He pressed his lips into AJ's, softly at first, but then increasing the intensity. He coaxed at AJ's lips, begging AJ to respond. Finally, AJ's hands were on his cheeks, pushing him closer as well, returning the kiss just as passionately. It was like breathing again; a moment of sheer fulfillment, like being fully alive for the first time in a long time.

AJ pulled away, a look of horror on his face. "Taylor," he said softly, and the one word reminded the both of them about the things that separated them.

"AJ..." Chris put a hand on his back, rubbing it softly. "Allie..."

AJ pulled away and stood up again, instead getting Chris into the bed. He threw the cover over him and said, "Goodnight Chris. You really should get some sleep- you're going to have a rough morning."

"Wait. Please." Chris looked up at him, almost begging, before he said, "Please. Stay with me. Please."

AJ stared down at Chris, trying to figure out what to do. Part of him told him to go to his room and sleep next to his girlfriend. He was breaching thirty; now was the time to think about a family, his future beyond the six sided ring. He'd always wanted to start his own family, give his kids everything he couldn't have. He wanted the traditional wedding in the church that his mother had been talking about since he turned twenty-one.

But another part of him wanted Chris, and the things that came with that. Fun. Laughter. No standards, no expectations- just happiness. And kisses like the one they just shared.

AJ kicked his shoes off and slipped into the bed next to Chris, telling himself that he wasn't walking into damnation. Hoping he wasn't walking into damnation. Chris, without delay, moved closer to AJ, pushing his head into AJ's chest and wrapping his arm around him. Resting against him, feeling his heart beat. "Thank you," he whispered quietly. AJ nodded, turning off the light before wrapping his arm around Chris as well.

What am I doing?

Soon, Chris fell asleep, his soft snores filling AJ's ears. He could imagine laying here forever, in the comfort of the embrace, but he knew he couldn't. He had to move. He didn't want to move. Taylor was downstairs. Chris was right here. Taylor was the right way to go, he knew it, but Chris felt right. And he couldn't fight the feeling.

Damn it. Damn... damn!

AJ slowly peeled Chris' arm off, sure that he wouldn't wake up. Sure enough, Chris just rolled away, laying face up on the pillow. AJ slipped out of the bed, grabbing his shoes, not bothering to put them on. If he turned around, he would stay forever, trapped in Chris' unexplainable gravity. He just had to keep moving, keep heading forward in the right direction.

I just wish there was a way I could make him happy...