A/N: I'll be the first to admit that I never liked Snape. I always hated the guy, especially after the Dumbledore incident. However, after reading Deathly Hallows, I thought that he deserved another shot at the girl he was in love with. Snape/Lily one shot.
Tell me what you think.
For some reason, today seemed sad. Sadder than usual, that is, for every day was a living hell for Severus Snape.
He looked toward the Gryffindor table. With only two weeks left of the seventh year, most students were getting a bit unruly, and the Gryffindors were no exception. He noticed Lupin and Black, two of his least favorite people, tossing one of the golden goblets back and forth. His eyes traveled a bit farther down the table and he saw her.
Lily Evans. She was laughing at a joke that a sixth-year had just told her. Her perfect, long, red hair glinted in the morning sun that streamed from the ceiling. The smile on her face seemed to light up the room better than the sun, and also seemed to cause a constricting feeling within Snape's chest.
Then, from behind Lily, came the person who Snape hated more than anyone. James Potter appeared behind Lily and planted a kiss on top of her fiery head. Snape felt the jealousy rise like a snake within him. He wished he could be the one to kiss her head. He wished he could be the one that held her dainty, soft hands. He wished he could be the one that Lily looked at with love in her emerald eyes.
He watched as she turned and smiled she placed a quick kiss on his unworthy lips and seemed to invite him to sit down. He, however, shook his head and placed his hands behind his back. She pointed to one and he brought it forward. He was holding something small between his thumb and forefinger. Lily's eyes grew wide, then she jumped up and kissed him deeply, while tears ran down her face. Potter pulled away and hopped onto the Gryffindor table.
"Excuse me!" he called. Most of the Gryffindors grew quiet and some Hufflepuffs at the next table turned to look. He called "excuse me!" again, louder, and this time the entire hall fell silent. Lily was looking embarrassed, but a tiny smile played on her lips.
"I'd just like to announce that this beautiful girl," he pointed to Lily, "Lily Evans has just agreed to marry me!"
There were several whoops, some wolf whistling, and scattered applause. Snape, however, felt like the bottom had dropped out of his stomach. He continued to look at Lily who was grinning sheepishly. The she turned and looked at him.
Their eyes met for just a moment, but in that moment, so many emotions flowed through Snape. I love you Lily.
She gave him a sad smile, then turned her attention back to the group of squealing girls around her. However, Snape had made his decision.
She would not marry him. Not until she knew everything
"He has great taste."
"Oh, most definitely."
Snape listened to the group of girls in front of him gush over the damned ring.
"There's going to be a party in the common room Lil. Just for you. We should make our way up there."
"I think I'll just stay outside for a few more minutes," replied Lily. When the other girls started to protest, she said, "no really, go up without me. I'll be up in a few."
Snape watched as the girls flounced toward the castle. Lily sat down on the wall and looked up at the moon. Snape wished he could know what she was thinking.
After a few minutes, Lily jumped up and turned to walk to the castle. Now or never, thought Snape.
Lily turned with a smile on her face that faded when she saw who was rushing toward her.
"What are you doing here Snape?" she asked, folding her arms. "Were you following me?"
"I had to talk to you," Snape replied. "It's important."
Snape took a deep breath, feeling nervous. "Lily, you can't marry him."
Lily raised an eyebrow. "Oh no? And why is that?"
"Because," Snape stopped. He couldn't finish. But he had to. She had to know. He looked into those perfect green eyes and drew courage from them. "Because… I love you."
Lily blinked at him. "What?"
Snape felt a sudden courage. At least she hadn't laughed, or run away. His sudden rush of courage made him reach out and take her hands. "I love you Lily Evans."
She didn't remove her hands, but she was still looking at him with surprise and doubt etched in every line of her face. "But…"
"Lily, just do me a favor," he said quickly, desperately. "Close your eyes for just a moment and tell me where you see yourself in five years. If it's with him, then I'll walk away, I swear."
Looking as though she'd rather not, she slowly closed her eyes.
"What do you see?"
Lily didn't answer and instead opened her eyes.
"Convince me," she said, her voice barely a whisper.
"Convince…" repeated Snape, confused. Then he understood.
He removed one of his hands from hers and ran his thumb down her jaw. She reached up and laid his palm against her cheek. The were growing closer. Snape wrapped his arm around her waist and drew her in until, finally, their lips met.
It was as though, for years, there had been a bird caged inside Snape's chest and finally it had been released. And not just any bird, but a phoenix, for Snape's whole body burned. Burned in wanting for her. The kiss started slow, but became faster, more passionate. Snape moved his hand from Lily's cheek and entwined it in her hair. She was moving her hands across his shoulders, down his arms. He shivered. Lily's tongue was massaging his lips, asking for entrance. Snape obliged happily. Her tongue spilled into his mouth and his into hers. She moaned and tightened her hold on him. Snape realized that he was running his hand over her bare shoulders, (when had they become bare?) and her skin was so soft and perfect. He had the sudden urge to place his lips on it. He moved his lips from hers and kissed down her jawline to her neck to her shoulders. She sighed in pleasure and shivered. For a moment he continued like this and then let his lips find hers again.
Too soon it was over. Lily broke away and looked up at him.
"So?" asked Snape hopefully.
"That was very convincing," Lily replied, smiling slightly.
The bird in Snape's chest fluttered its wings in a pleased way.
"So you'll be with me?"
The smile on Lily's face faltered. "Maybe we should sit and talk a moment."
Snape nodded. They wandered, hand in hand, to a nearby tree and sat underneath it.
"Are you still planning on joining the Death Eaters?"
Classic Lily, thought Snape. Cutting straight to the chase.
"Well, yes," said Snape, looking at her hand in his.
She said nothing and he looked up at her worriedly She was staring across the lake, obviously lost in thought.
"But that doesn't matter," Snape said quickly. "I won't let anything interfere with you. Also, you'll be protected due to my status. It will work. We'll make it work, Lily."
"Sev," she said, and Snape immediately felt a thrill at hearing her say his name again, finally. "They are against everything I stand for. They hate people like me. You've said it yourself, I'm a Mudblood."
"I didn't mean it," Snape said quickly, but Lily put up her hand for silence.
"I don't care what you did or didn't mean," she said. "What I'm saying is that I can't be with someone who agrees with the Death Eaters. So I'm giving you a choice, Snape. Me, or them."
Snapes face clouded instantly. He thought she'd understand, thought she'd try to make it work. But now he was getting this crap. "You're giving me an ultimatum?" he asked, unable to keep the anger out of his voice.
"Yes," Lily said calmly. "I am."
"So I can't be with you and be a Death Eater?"
"No, you can't."
"Lily," whispered Snape, his voice pained. He reached his hand toward his left sleeve and pulled it up, showing where his Dark Mark had been branded.
Lily looked away. Snape thought he could see tears in her eyes, but when she spoke, her voice was quite steady.
"I see. So you've already made your choice."
"I'm sorry Lily," he said. "There's no backing out now."
"Then I'm marrying James, Sev."
The bird in Snape's chest died quite suddenly.
"Lily please," whispered Snape, his voice full of pain and misery. He reached out a hand to touch her shoulder, but she shrugged it away.
"Please," he whispered one last time, but she jumped up.
"Goodbye Severus," she said, her voice shaking now. She turned to look into his eyes. "I love you too."
She turned and ran from him. Snape watched her go. A long time ago, those words would have made him soar, but now it felt like his heart was being torn into millions of pieces.
It was the last time he'd ever talk to her.