A/N: This is just a little one-shot about Pete's feelings and thoughts about the events in 1x08 and, of course, Addison.
I hope you enjoy and please review!
Thinking about all the things that had happened that day Pete was sitting on his couch, an untouched bottle of beer in his hand and only one woman on his mind. Addison Montgomery, who else?
Losing that baby had been hard for her, he had seen it in her eyes and the way she walked. Her normally sparkling blue eyes that looked into the world with the confidence of a queen had been so extremely sad that it had made him want to cry, just for her, and when she walked out of that OR she had let her head hang, staring at her feet as she walked away, her heels barely clicking on the linoleum, not leaving the sound to echo through the empty hallways of the hospital like it normally did, and he couldn't stand it. Addison Montgomery didn't let her head hang, she didn't stare at her feet, at least not the one he knew. The Addison Montgomery he knew held her head high, no matter what happened, she was confident, sometimes even arrogant, she was a woman with an attitude, a woman with class.
She was one of those rare combinations of a woman that appeared to be hard on the outside, but was soft on the inside, with millions and millions of adorable traits, only discovered by those closest to her. He discovered something new every day, like the way she would tuck her hair behind her ear, or the way she would scrunch her nose when she saw something gross. There was always something new, something he hadn't noticed before, something he could adore about her. He would never get enough of her, no matter how many times he saw her. Her smile would always light up his heart, making it impossible for him to look anywhere else, and her voice and touch would always make his heart jump, clouding his mind.
He hadn't even known her for that long yet, but he knew she was good, very very good. Professionally and personally. She was one of those woman that could get away with anything. She could wear what she wanted because she would always look good and the fact that she was so damn confident about herself made her only more irresistible. She was amazing, and she knew it, and yet, it didn't make her unbearable or too arrogant, it made her perfect. He knew nobody was flawless, but to him, she was. She was intelligent, beautiful… she was everything he wanted, and he screwed it up, big time. Because, aside from that Addison was a woman that didn't let her head hang, she also was a woman with style, she was a woman that didn't get stood up, ever.
It was hard to think about anything else when he saw her smile, but he knew now that it was at least as hard to think about something else when she was sad, because he didn't want her to be sad, he wanted to fix that. But he couldn't, because he'd let her go.
"You shouldn't be alone tonight." He said, wanting nothing more than to wrap his arms around her slender form and comfort her, make her less broken.
"I won't be." She said, before turning around and simply walking away, leaving him staring after her, wishing there was something he could do…
He wanted to be with her, to make her happy. She deserved that, she deserved to be happy and loved. She deserved to have a family and to grow old with that one special guy. And oh, how he wished he could be that guy for her. But the truth was, he couldn't, because she didn't want him, because he had screwed it up, because she deserved more…
No matter how much he loved her smile, no matter how she made him feel, just by walking by or saying only a single word, he would never deserve her, because she was too good for him. Because her sweet smile, her sea-blue eyes, her soft kissable lips and her long tanned legs were saved for someone else, someone better than him, someone that would almost, almost, deserve her. Nobody would ever deserve her, but there had to be a guy out there that came close, or at least a little.
He sincerely hoped that, but he would hate that guy, and he knew he wouldn't just let him have her if he came around, he knew he would fight for her, whether he deserved her or not. There were a thousand reasons why they shouldn't be together, more even, but still, he had never wanted something so bad. And he knew, he just knew it was because of her, because she was Addison Montgomery, different than other woman, better, smarter, prettier, special… She had it in her to make any guy fall in love with her, just because. He couldn't really figure out a reason, he didn't know why, he just knew it was true. Just because she was Addison Montgomery, a board-certified neonatal surgeon and the most beautiful human being on earth, one hell of a woman.
A/N: So, that was it! I know it's not much, but it was just something that kept going through my mind and I had to write it. I hope you enjoyed it and please make me happy and review!