My name is Kenny McKormick.
I'm seventeen, and in grade eleven.
I'm poor. Bloody poor.
I die almost every week.
But I don't mind.
Stan, Kyle, Cartman and Craig are my only friends.
I hate dogs.
I'm a good singer.
I hate shop class.
I've been told that I'm hot.
But no one ever compliments me on my personality.
Cartman tried to kill me in seventh grade with a baseball bat.
I've never won a fistfight. But I've been in plenty of them.
My parents hate me.
I hate my parents.
I love music, drawing and video games.
My middle name is Zachary.
I'm in love with Kyle Broflovski.
But I don't consider myself gay. Or bi. Or anything, really.
I hate Lord Of The Rings.
I got Wendy Testaburger pregnant in grade ten.
I protested her abortion. She didn't listen.
My favorite color is not orange. It's purple.
Stan kicked me in the face in grade nine, and I still have the scar.
I love to crossdress. Just not in public.
My dad shot me in the face at age seven. When I came back, he denied it.
I love makeup.
I slept with Eric Cartman.
And I liked it.
My favorite band is Fall Out Boy, and I'm not afraid to admit it.
I hate George Clooney.
My favorite animal is a camel.
I hate blueberries.
The Jonas Brothers make me gag.
I lost my virginity at thirteen.
Stan and Kyle made out in eighth grade on a dare.
We haven't spoken of it to this day.
I sleep with no underwear on.
I was Mysterion.
I have an imaginary friend. His name is Perry.
Kyle Broflovski thinks I'm a hooker.
I am a hooker.
I have bleach-blonde hair.
I love old movies.
I hate roller coasters.
Homemade tattoos are a bad idea.
Before I fell in love with Kyle, I'd never masturbated.
I hate school.
I want to be a doctor.
I'm on the swim team.
I hate Rebecca Cottswalds
She is currently dating Kyle.
Sometimes I wish I were a girl.
I hate pop, rap and hip-hop music.
My favourite class is art, even though I suck at it.
Art is my only class with Kyle.
I love sleeping until noon on weekends.
I love sleeping until noon on weekdays.
I failed grade nine math.
I like Britany Spears and The Dixie Chicks.
Cartman says they made me gay.
I love the number 42.
Craig was my first.
But I wasn't his.
I hate football.
Liane Cartman came on to me last week.
I played the drums in the school band.
Everyone said it was because I couldn't count past four.
Contrary to popular belief, I've never been in an orgy or a threesome.
My brother wants me to die in my sleep, and not come back.
I have blue eyes.
Ike Broflovski has a crush on me. He's in grade seven.
I've read the Bible cover to cover.
And I still go to hell each time I die.
Craig and I are off-and-on dating.
We keep it quiet because he's ashamed of liking me.
I love The Simpsons.
I've never done illegal drugs.
I'm good at sports, even though I'm weak.
There's more to me than sex.
I've been to the emergency room seven times this year.
It's only March.
Kyle hates smokers.
I smoke. But never when Kyle's around.
Stan beat me up last week.
He's going to beat me up tomorrow, too.
And the week after that, as well.
That's just how high school works, apparently.
It's been four days since I've eaten.
I love NeverShoutNever!.
I wish I had Butters' hair.
I cried when Michael Jackson died.
I hate Pop-Tarts and waffles.
I weigh one-hundred-four pounds.
I like poetry.
I have a huge celebrity crush on Billie Joe Armstrong.
I'm allergic to cats.
I've always wanted a tongue piercing.
I tried to pierce my tongue once. It didn't work too well.
The doctor suggests forty milligrams of Prozac per day.
I can't afford it.
When it rains, my walls leak.
I love coffee.
Orange was the last color parka they had. I swear.
I love stripes and winter hats.
I've never actually said 'I love you'.
I hate science class.
I got a ninety in grade ten advanced French.
Stan got a stupid ninety-three.
I have absolutely no regrets.
I don't wear rubber. Ever.
And I've never had an STD.
Maybe it's because I want to be a father someday.
But I can't commit to a stable relationship.
I can type a hundred and three words a minute.
I hate vanilla ice cream.
I have my driver's license.
But I don't have a car.
My teachers are always 'disappointed in me'.
I hate food.
I had my first kiss with Butters, in fifth grade.
I always hated Terrence and Philip when we were young.
I've broken my nose twice.
And that's pretty much me. Who I am, as Kenny Mckormick.
Oh, yeah. One more thing.
A/N: My newest chaptered story :) This is just the prologue so that's why it's formatted kinda weird, but for regular chapters it will be just like a regular story, no line breaks every three words :D
So what do you think? Love it? Hate it?
This story is about Kenny. All about everything one could know about him and how misunderstood he is as he battles depression, loving someone off-limits and having a serious eating disorder. Based on my story, vaguely. But I'm not a hooker. XD
Innuendo will probably not be seeing the light of an update for quite some time. Just in case anyone reads it.
Title credit to Eminem