Disclaimer: I do not own the characters!

"Wake up. Mr. Mustang, wake up!"

Riza shook the sleeping boy rigorously, forcing him from his slumber.

"W-wha? What is it?" Roy murmured, rubbing the sleep from his eyes.

"There's an intruder," Riza answered in a hurried whisper.

"An intruder?" Roy became more alert. "But wait- who'd want to steal anything from this place?" Before he could take it back, Riza smacked him upside the head.

"Don't be rude. Just come with me."

"Wait, what are you going to do?"

"What do you think?" Riza said, turning towards the door. "We're gonna chase him out of here."

"Why don't you wake your father? I'll deal with the guy on my own in the meantime."

"Don't be stupid. I'm not going to wake father for this. He'd be angry."

"But he'd handle the intruder in no time," Roy pointed out.

"Just shut up and come with me!" Riza commanded, still whispering.

Roy grabbed the kerosene lamp from his nightstand and headed toward the door where Riza was waiting impatiently.

"Don't!" Riza exclaimed, grabbing the lantern from his grasp.

"How are we going to see without light?" Roy complained.

"You know the layout of this house, don't you? The intruder doesn't. We have the advantage. Now come on," Riza explained, rushing out into the dark hallway.

"Crazy vigilante girl," Roy muttered. Nevertheless, he ran after her and they reached the staircase in no time. Skidding to a stop at her side, Roy gave Riza a confused glance.

"And what do you propose we fight this guy with?" Roy asked skeptically.

Riza hummed to herself for a moment, before prying open the old closet door and rummaging through the mess. Her hands rested on a wooden box, which she unlatched.

Roy peered over her shoulder, but could see very little in the darkness. He squinted through the shadows, trying to see what Riza was retrieving from the closet.

After a moment Riza stood up, a long wooden something resting in her arms. Roy squinted at her once again.

"What's that?" He asked. Not a second later, he felt that something press against his manhood.

"Aah! Watch where you're putting that thing!" He nearly screeched.

"Will you shut up already?" Riza chastised him.

"Well what the hell is that? I certainly don't want it pressing up against me, you know." Roy whispered hoarsely.

Riza smirked, grasping her weapon and heading down the stairs as quietly as possible. Roy silently followed.

They didn't have much chance to sneak up on the intruder, because as they rounded the corner, there he was. And without warning, Riza swung. There was a thud and a crash. Roy fumbled for the light switch. His fingers ran along the wall until he found the switch, and light flooded the room.

On the floor was a stranger, bleeding from the head. But what Roy was more interested in was…

"A bat? You used a bat?"

A/N: The end! This was a silly little thing I wrote up while eating Italian ice. Don't really know where the idea came from, but I thought it was kinda funny, kinda cute. Hope you liked it, even if it was short!