A/N: whatta you know. There was more to milk from this.
by Shadow Crystal Mage
Disclaimer: Princess Resurrection, other anime and manga, not mine. Please don't sue me.
The answering machine was overflowing.
BEEP! "Reiri, this is Zeppeli. So glad to hear you finally got married. While I don't understand your werewolf fetish, as a true and understanding friend I support you 100 percent! Though I'm sure you'll understand if I never talk to you in public again. I have a reputation to keep, after all. Anyway, I'll be sending you my wedding present, you'll love it, it's this wonderful dinette set–"
BEEP! "RIZA, YOU BITCH, HOW DARE YOU DISHONOR OUR REIRI-SAMA, WHEN WE GET OUR HANDS ON YOU–!"
BEEP! "Lillianne-chan it's your big sister Sylvia! Just calling to let you know I heard the WONDERFUL news of your nuptials! I'm SO disappointed I wasn't invited. Just because we are at war, little sister, is no reason why we cannot be family! I will be visiting soon to meet your new husband and see if he is a suitable match. Toodles, sister dearest!"
BEEP "Riza, this is Keziah. HAVE YOU GONE INSANE?-!-?-!-?-!-?-! What kind of a werewolf are you? Next you're going to name your kid something stupid, like 'Renesmee' or something. Have you no werewolf pride?Have you no–! "
BEEP! "Hello, this is Goliath National Bank. Would you like to purchase some Royalty insura–?"
BEEP "Reiri, this is your aunt Evangeline! How DARE you marry some dog! Is this how the eldest daughter of the family should behave? Because of your lewd example, the cousin Duckula is switching to vegetarianism, and don't even get me started on this absurd idea your uncle Angel has for a detective agency–!"
BEEP! "Riza, this is your uncle Kotaro! How DARE you marry some bloodsucker! Is that any way for an honorable werewolf to behave? Do you want to be disowned, like the Earth clan and that cousin Akira of yours and his affair with that vampire princess? If you don't anull this marriage right away– OW! Natsumi-chan let go of my ear! Look, she's making a big mistake, I can't let her– No, Natsumi-chan, not the leek, not the leek–!"
"Huh," Riza said, the first bit of enthusiasm she'd had since they got home. "Good old aunt Natsumi."
Hiro was blinking at the sheer number of messages. "How come so many people know? We only just got back this morning."
"Fuga," Flandre explained eloquently.
"Ah," Hiro said. "I see. That make perfect sense."
Sawawa stuck her head into the room. "Riza-chan, you're cousin Jacob is outside. He says he wants to congratulate you for finally going fang, whatever that means."
Wordlessly, Riza picked up Hime's chainsaw and ripped back the cord. The motor flared to life.
"Bring it back with a full tank of gas," Hime said, already deeply immersed in a cup of tea.
Riza just nodded as she stepped out into the entrance hall. The whirl of the chainsaw resounded over screams of dismemberment.
Riza came back covered with blood, diligently filling the chainsaw from a gas can.
Sawawa stuck her head in again. "Reiri, it's your cousin Edward and his wife. They're here to congratulate you on your marriage."
Wordlessly, Reiri took the chainsaw from Riza, revving it up after ripping the cord. She stepped out into the entrance hall. Once more the whirl of the chainsaw resounded over screams of dismemberment.
Sawawa clapped her hands together. "How nice! They really suit each other!"
"Kill me now," Riza groaned.
- To be continued...?
A/N: Does it show how much I dislike what Stephenie Meyer has done to the once-cool word 'Twilight'?
Please review, C&C welcome.
Until next time, this is Shadow, signing off.