Getting A Little Sexy by NautiBitz


Summary: Post-'Showtime', Anya walks in on Willow and Kennedy en flagrante delicto. A/W smut ensues. Script format.

Timeline: Season 7, post-'Showtime'

Originally Published/Completed: January 2003

Stats: 1,467 words | Buffy the Vampire Slayer | Willow/Anya | NC-17/M (not for kids)

Genres: Comedy, Smut

Awards Won: "Best Slash Fic" from the Shades of Grey Awards; "Best UC Pairing" from the Rabid Rabbit Awards, "Best Willow/Anya Fic" from the Vixen Fiction Awards, and more.

Author's Note: This is in answer to a You Got the Stones? challenge from Kes: "I want a sexy sex scene between (at least) two women, preferably Anya and Tara, but it's your choice, written in script format."

Distribution: Links only, please. Do not reprint. Do not post translations. Thanks!

Disclaimer: You know the drill. 20th Century Fox Corp owns everyone but me.

Rights: I do not own these characters or the worlds they inhabit. However, the text I have written is not YOURS to paste into your own fic in any way, shape or form. That is called plagiarism, and it is not cool. Not that YOU would ever do that, because YOU are awesome. Obviously. :)


TEASER

FADE IN

INT. SUMMERS' HOME - 2ND FLOOR HALLWAY - DAY

Anya swings Willow's bedroom door open, gets a full-screen view of Willow and Kennedy, Slayer in Training, having sex.

ANYA
Oh! Oh my god!
(Shuts eyes, then door.)

WILLOW
Oh! Whoa, wait, Anya!
(wraps a sheet around herself)
I—

She opens the door. Anya is still standing there, hands over eyes, shoulders hunched.

WILLOW
Anya, I wasn't — We were just— And then she...!

ANYA
No, no! I completely understand!

WILLOW
You do?

ANYA
(shifting uncomfortably)
Sure. I mean for goodness sake, how long has it been? It's about time you got a little action from a nice, young, well, very young...

WILLOW
She's eighteen! And, hey! You're like, a thousand! If that's not jailbait I don't know what is—

ANYA
Touché.

WILLOW
And what gives you the right to just barge in on—

ANYA
Buffy does. All hail the great leader, blah blah blah? She needs you downstairs.

WILLOW
(righteousness crumbling)
Oh.

ANYA
So... I guess I'll tell her you'll be right down?

WILLOW
Yeah, okay.

Anya walks away.

WILLOW
Wait —
(grabs her by the arm)
Anya, could you...
(voice lowers)
Could you not tell anyone about this?

ANYA
(rolls eyes, tugs arm away)
I'm not completely socially inept, you know. I do know how to keep a secret.

WILLOW
(uncertain)
You do?

ANYA
(proudly)
There are lots of things you don't know about me, missy.

WILLOW
Really?

ANYA
(histrionic sigh)
I promise I won't tell anyone I saw you writhing around in there, completely naked, with —

WILLOW
Get the picture—

ANYA
—a naked Slayer in Training, or that you're still naked, and I'm oddly compelled to touch you—

WILLOW
(double take)

ANYA
(titters nervously)
Ha. Forget that part. I'll be downstairs now.

Dumbstruck, Willow watches Anya hurry down the stairs. She closes the sheet over herself and retreats into the room.

KENNEDY
(draped across the bed, wearing nothing but a smile)
Maybe we should lock the door.

END OF TEASER


ACT ONE

INT. SUMMERS' HOME - BASEMENT - NIGHT

Willow brings a load of laundry down the basement stairs. She sees Anya there alone, taking clothes out of the dryer and folding them.

Willow halts at the landing. Anya sees her, stops what she's doing for a moment. Smiles. Willow smiles guiltily, walks toward washing machine.

WILLOW
Hi.

ANYA
Hi.

Silence for a long while as Willow loads washer, Anya continues folding.

ANYA
So. How 'bout that sex?

WILLOW
(yelps; powder detergent flying)
What?

ANYA
I'm sorry, it's just that I've been dying to talk about it all day. I said I could keep a secret, not enjoy it.

WILLOW
Oh. Um... Yeah, hey. Thanks for that.

ANYA
You're welcome.
(closes dryer door, sits up on top of it.)
So, how was it?

WILLOW
Wh...
(looks behind her, up the stairs, back to Anya)
The sex?

ANYA
She seemed like she knew what she was doing.

WILLOW
I—

ANYA
I mean, her tongue was in the right place, at least.

WILLOW
(nervously)
She uh... We... It was fine. Look, Anya, I don't know if I feel comfortable talking about this with—

ANYA
I was gay once.

WILLOW
(slams washer top much louder than she'd meant to, jumps)

ANYA
Yeah. Vengeance Demons have to be flexible, you know.
(smiles, remembering fondly)
Willing to go that extra mile to get just the right wish...

WILLOW
There... you were gay? The-there was gayness?

ANYA
It was only for a month. Or so. She was bisexual. I mean, she didn't know she was.
(proudly)
Until she met me, of course.

WILLOW
There really is a lot about you I don't know.

ANYA
(shrugs)
A thousand years, lots can happen.

WILLOW
I guess so.

ANYA
(daydreamy smile)
I liked her a lot. She gave great cunnilingus.

WILLOW
(winces)
Uh-huh...

ANYA
And nice, thick fingers.
(holds hand up, looks at her fingers)

Willow is confused. Anya looks down at Willow's hand on washer top beside her, runs fingers over it.

ANYA
You have good fingers.

WILLOW
(pulls hand away, shocked and slightly titillated)
Anya!

ANYA
I'm sorry. I don't—
(jumps off of dryer)
I don't know what I'm doing anymore.
(Picks up laundry basket)

WILLOW
Anya...?

ANYA
(holding back bitter tears)
Really, I don't know what I was thinking. That maybe I could make this world mean something again through, I don't know, lesbianism?

WILLOW
(with concern)
Anya...

ANYA
I know.
(circles finger near head)
Crazy.

WILLOW
No, you're not. But, believe me — it doesn't make the world any easier to understand.

ANYA
(smiles, sighs)
I know. I'm just in a strange place right now.

Anya puts down her laundry basket and sits on the floor. Willow sits too.

WILLOW
We all are. Apocalypse... and so on.

ANYA
(contemplative, looks up at Willow)
Is that why you... with her?

WILLOW
I guess. It all happened so fast, I'm not sure I know what to do now. About her. Or us... I don't know if there even is an us... or if I want there to be...

ANYA
Well, this is less a think time than an action time. Thinking comes later, after the world doesn't end.

WILLOW
Exactly.

ANYA
(pleased)
Hey, we're talking like friends.

WILLOW
(takes her hands)
We are friends.

Anya looks down at her hands and up at Willow. Their eyes meet, hold. Smolder. Slowly, the gap closes between them. They kiss.

Anya sits up into a kneel, leaning towards Willow as the kiss becomes more passionate, insistent, hurried.

Hands grope body parts, Anya kisses her neck.

WILLOW
Wait, Anya, no. We shouldn't — we can't—

ANYA
(heatedly)
Yes, we should, we can!

WILLOW
But world — the, the meaning — there's no... in it...

ANYA
(impatiently)
I don't care about the damned world!

Anya kisses her, hard, until Willow is on her back on the basement floor, Anya on top of her, kissing, groping. Willow kisses and gropes back.

WILLOW
Mmph — not really... caring either...

They wriggle and help each other out of their shirts, unzip pants...

ANYA
I want to show you what I can do.

Anya's hand slips into Willow's pants. Willow moans, bites lip, eyes roll back.

Anya pulls down Willow's pants, gets them off her legs, is greeted with frumpy teddy bear-emblazoned underwear.

WILLOW
It's laundry day.

ANYA
(slyly)
Same here.

Anya sits back and takes off her own pants, reveals her non-panty wearing self.

WILLOW
(gulp)
There's a solution.

ANYA
Here, I'll show you how.

Slowly, she pulls Willow's underwear down and off, nudges her legs open, settles between them and licks.

WILLOW
unh...

ANYA
(lick)
Right here?

WILLOW
Yess...

ANYA
(lick)
Or here?

WILLOW
Anywhere... will do... really... oh...

Anya gets into it, moving head rapidly, using fingers... Willow gets into it, losing her inhibition, thrusting her hips upward.

WILLOW
Oh god... you're... That tongue... your hands... you're like a...

Anya purses her lips, sucks on Willow's clit, pumping two fingers in and out.

WILLOW
(thrashing head)
Unnnnnhhhhh!

Anya lingers there as Willow comes, pumping slower, lapping gently. Looks up at a gasping Willow.

ANYA
(smiles triumphantly)
Told you I was gay.

WILLOW
(gasping, amazed)
I really, really believe you.

Anya climbs up her body, kisses her mouth again. Willow threads her hands through her hair, rolls them over to be on top.

ANYA
Ah, concrete. Cold, and unyielding.

WILLOW
(smiles)
You wanna get on the washer?

Anya grins and gets up to sit on washer, legs open.

ANYA
(licks lips)
Spin cycle's coming soon.

Smiling, Willow follows, stands against her to kiss her again. Willow bends to lick and suck Anya's nipples, runs her hands down between her legs, rubs.

ANYA
Suck harder.

Willow sucks her nipple harder, penetrates with one finger.

ANYA
More, more...

Willow puts in two, then three fingers, sucks and bites at Anya's nipples.

ANYA
Yes, yes, oh god, yes... Oh, Willow... yes, yes, yes... YES!
(Pushes Willow's head down)
Now lick me!
(Arches back as spin cycle kicks in)
Ye-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-E-E-SSSS!

Spasms against her face, keeping her head there...

Loud scuffling noises from the stairwell.

XANDER, OFF SCREEN
Holy mother of god.

Willow and Anya look up to see Xander, Buffy, Kennedy and several Slayers in Training standing behind them on the staircase, having rushed down to see what the racket was all about. Each wears a different look of shock, but Xander and Kennedy look especially pissed off.

ANYA
Oh, great.

Mortified, Willow grabs shirt, covers self. Looks at Kennedy.

Kennedy runs up the steps.

XANDER
(hands up)
I can't handle this right now.

Xander pushes his way up the steps.

BUFFY
(still in shock)
Wha...?

Slowly, Willow's eyes turn black, lip curls into a sneer.

WILLOW
Forget.

BLACK OUT

END OF SHOW