Disclaimer: I do NOT own Naruto.

KisaIta Drabbles

For The Cereal Killer

"The taste of love is sweet..."

Itachi sighed as the deep voice washed over him, a small smile curving onto his face as another, deeper voice joined in with the Arkansan's.

"When hearts like ours meet," Kisame sung softly into his neck before kissing it gently. "I fell for you like a child... oh, but the fire went wild."

On the last word he bit down sharply, earning a low groan from Itachi. The pale man reached up and grabbed two fistfuls of Kisame's blue hair, tugging eagerly as Kisame abandoned his singing, choosing instead to feast on the neck before him.

Itachi twisted his bare legs up around Kisame's waist, tugging him closer. Kisame rocked their bare groins together, groaning himself as their erections rubbed together. Having already gone two rounds, both were quite content to simply touch and feel, slowly moving against each other, taking their time to reach their release.

"Mmm," Kisame moved up to kiss Itachi deeply. "So, baby, does my love burn you up?"

Itachi snorted, pulling Kisame in for another kiss.

"Moron," he muttered affectionately. "Songs have no real meaning."

"Sure they do," Kisame whispered as he trailed soft kisses all over Itachi's face. Itachi stretched his hands above him, patiently waiting for Kisame to bring him to release. "In fact..."

Kisame rolled off of Itachi, grabbing the stereo remote from the bedside table. He ignored Itachi's annoyed hiss as the Uchiha sat up and glared at him. Kisame flicked through the songs until he heard what he was waiting for.

"Here," Kisame shuffled back on the bed, spreading his legs obscenely and pulling Itachi in between them. Itachi huffed as he leaned back against Kisame's broad, dark chest. Kisame wrapped his arms around Itachi's waist as the song continued, letting the sunlight falling through the open window warm them. As the song lyrics began Kisame began to sing along with it.

"I will come for you at night time," the smirk against Itachi's neck showed his mind was firmly in the gutter. "I will raise you from your sleep." A hand drifted down to gather something that had already risen. "I will kiss you in four places." A kiss to his neck, his cheek, his ear and lips. "As I go running along your street."

Itachi moaned, his head failing back on Kisame's shoulder. Kisame rolled them over quickly, pressing Itachi face-first into the bed.

"I will squeeze the life out of you," Kisame purred as he rubbed tantalizingly against Itachi's ass. "You will make me laugh and make me cry," Kisame squeezed him tight, meaning that the words were serious and he really did care for Itachi. "And we will never forget it. You will make me call your name, and I'll shout it to the blue summer sky."

Itachi bucked back against Kisame, wanting his lover inside of him. Kisame abandoned his singing in order to suck on Itachi's neck again. Itachi panted into the pillow, gripping it with one hand as the other clung to the headboard. The song continued to play.

"We may never meet again, so shed your skin and let's get started. You will throw you arms around me."

Itachi sighed as Kisame moved away from him, obviously moving for the bedside table. The large man grabbed the tube of lube that sat there, squeezing the substance out onto his dark hand. He slowly slicked his cock up, moaning softly as his hand smoothed the lube out. Itachi spread his legs eagerly, his face still pressed against the pillow.

Kisame hummed to the music as he reached for Itachi. He kneeled between the other man's spread legs, kneading Itachi's ass as he spread the cheeks. Itachi lifted his hips slightly and Kisame chuckled at his willingness.

They didn't need to speak. They had done this a hundred times, and would do it a hundred times again. Words were not necessary as Kisame slowly slid into Itachi, who closed his eyes and gripped the pillow tighter. Words were redundant, as nothing would ever be able to describe the sensation that Itachi got when Kisame made love to him. The deep, powerful thrusts that kept him grounded when everything else fell away drew him in from the plane of nothingness he was soaring on, disrupted only by bouts of pleasure filled turbulence.

Nothing would describe how loved and needed Itachi felt as his lover worshipped his body. Kisame had never said allowed that he loved Itachi, but Itachi knew, simply from the way he was held, from the way he was kissed and from the way he was fucked. Kisame loved him. Itachi knew it, Kisame knew it, and neither of them felt the need to say it aloud. They weren't overly vocal people, unless Kisame felt a desire to hear Itachi's voice, and then he only received moans, groans and the occasional, immediately denied scream.

And as Kisame came, filling Itachi who was releasing his own orgasm onto the bedspread, the larger man pressed a soft kiss to the back of Itachi's neck, a gentle fleeting touch that made the other man smile into the pillow.

Which would later be denied.


Itachi was a very patient man. He was also very smart. He never jumped to conclusions, never assumed things and never overreacted. He was very level headed.

So when he saw that Kisame was carrying around a small notepad titled simply 'The List' he didn't think much of it. He assumed it was like the list his friend Naruto kept – how many times he had sex. Itachi, unlike his younger brother, didn't care that Kisame kept it, and didn't destroy it. He never understood the bragging rights that came with getting laid often, but if Kisame wanted to have his little book, then he could have it.

Itachi didn't care that Kisame had 'The List.' Not until he glanced at the page Kisame was on one day and saw five marks. He was about to head off to a family gathering, and wouldn't be back for hours. He wrapped his arms around his lover's neck, kissed him deeply before resting his head below Kisame's chin.

"See you later," he whispered, unable to stop himself from smiling up at the man he loved. Kisame kissed him softly once more, returning the smile with his own before sending Itachi on his way.

When Itachi came home that night, and found the notebook, there were six marks.

Itachi was sure as hell that 'The List' didn't count solo-sex; otherwise it would be full already. He felt rage fill him, quietly and slowly, until he was shaking slightly. He dropped the book, grabbed his keys and left. He couldn't talk to Kisame like that. He would explode, act rashly, and chuck an epic tantrum of scorned-Uchiha proportions.

Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned? Hell hath not seen a pissed off Uchiha.

Itachi did what any normal mad would do – he bought a bottle of vodka and let himself into a friend's apartment, and proceeded to get drunk. When Naruto and Sasuke returned later, they found him passed out on the couch in the middle of a Bold and the Beautiful marathon.

It only took until three am for Kisame to find him. Itachi was often home late since he started work at his father's company, but never later than three. Kisame practically broke down the door to Naruto's apartment, a giant six foot four terrified mass of muscles. As soon as he saw Itachi he sagged against the wall, sighing deeply in relief. His hands had trembled as he ran them through his hair, taking deep breaths.

After Naruto kicked them out, calling them all manner of impressive names, neither said a word. They returned home and went to bed, not saying anything about what happened. Kisame knew Itachi would tell him in his own time, and Itachi was too damn drunk to talk to his lover.

The next morning, however, Itachi found that Kisame had switched off his alarm and called in sick for him. He had presented Itachi with a tall glass of water, keeping the curtains drawn in the bedroom to block out light.

Kisame waited until Itachi set the glass down before reaching forward and gathering him close, burying his face into Itachi's shoulder.

"Don't vanish again," Kisame whispered. "Yell at me. Kick me out. But don't just go."

Itachi wrapped his arms tightly around Kisame in return. He stroked blue hair softly as he breathed in deep the scent of his lover.

"I didn't want to yell," Itachi whispered. "Yelling accomplishes nothing."

"Neither does running away," Kisame muttered. "You freaked me out. You weren't- I came back and- damn it, don't do that."

"Kisame," Itachi whispered, clutching him tighter. "Your list. What is it?"

"Hm?" Kisame drew back, reaching into his pocket and pulling out the notebook. "You mean this?"

"Yes, that," Itachi glared at the book, his anger rising again. "What is it? Naruto had a list like that – the number of times he got laid."

Kisame's lips twitched into a smile and a low, deep chuckle escaped him, raising the hairs on Itachi's neck. He knew it was really inappropriate at the time, but Kisame's voice got him hot and bothered every time he heard it.

"This is a very special list," he told Itachi as he leaned in to press a soft kiss to his neck. "You see, I don't care to count how many times I've had sex. Or with how many people. Only one list matters to me."

Kisame flipped back through the pages of the notebook. Each page stood for a month, and had minimal marks on it. One even had only two marks.

"Each mark," Kisame explained with another kiss to his neck. "Stands for the number of times I've ever seen you smile."

Itachi stared at the notebook. Each time he saw him... smile? What on earth? Itachi snatched the book up and scanned through it, noting that there were very few marks. Itachi wasn't a smiley person.

"My... smiles?" Itachi asked, looking up at Kisame. Kisame nodded. "You think recording how many times I smile is more important than recording how many times we've had sex?"

"Yes," Kisame said seriously as he pressed forward against Itachi, pinning him to the bed. "Because each smile is so beautiful, precious and fleeting. I can look at these marks and remember every single one of them."


"Yes?" Kisame nuzzled Itachi's neck softly.

"That is so... gay."

Kisame sat up, glaring at Itachi.

"Gay?" he repeated. "Not sweet? Not romantic?"

"No," Itachi shook his head, completely serious. "As gay as anything."

Kisame scowled, leaning in to kiss Itachi fiercely.

"Ungrateful fucker," he growled as soon as he had thoroughly ravished Itachi's mouth. "I cherish every moment with you and you call me gay."

"Yes," Itachi said as he reached up to pull Kisame into another kiss. "Because you can make me smile any time you want, just by being near me. And you are the only person who can say that."

Kisame melted against him, kissing his neck softly. Once more the unspoken words hovered between them, and as usual neither felt the need to say them. Itachi simply drew his love closer, burying his face into dark hair with a hidden smile.

Kisame didn't need to see them all, after all.


Awkward did not begin to describe the visits Itachi's parents had to their home. They would sit uncomfortably in their living room, sipping tea as they stared around, pointedly not looking at Kisame. Fugaku would scowl into his cup, Mikoto would chatter about things and people that Itachi didn't care a whit about, and they would both make snarky, underhanded comments that were cleverly disguised insults towards Kisame.

When Itachi started losing finesse and wit in his answers and began to crudely insult them, Kisame usually managed to end the gathering politely before Itachi got too out of hand.

"So, Itachi," Mikoto smiled awkwardly, choosing to ignore the large man with his arm wrapped around her first born. "Ino Yamanaka just married Shikamaru Nara. Beautiful ceremony. The flowers were gorgeous. Of course, Sakura Haruno was her chief bridesmaid. She would have been maid of honour, but she is still single..."

"Hn," Itachi sipped his glass of water carefully. "Yes, single. I am quite glad that I am no longer in that category."

"Right," Mikoto's smile became forced. "Still, she has plenty of years left before she's considered past her prime for marriage. And her hair is still that vibrant shade of strawberry blonde. Almost pink, really. It would look so nice with my grandmother's pink-pearl veil."

"Hn," Itachi's hand tightened around his glass. "Such a shame Sasuke and I are homosexuals then."

Kisame coughed slightly and rose, gathering up the empty plate that once held biscuits.

"Excuse me," he murmured before fleeing from the room. Itachi leaned back on the couch, fixing his mother with a cool stare. She met it calmly.

"Now, Itachi," she reprimanded him like a child. "I'm sure this phase will pass before Sakura's prime does. You had better hope it is soon though, I hear that eccentric Rock Lee is planning on courting her. And let us not forget that Neji Hyuuga is still available. Your cousin may very well sweep in and snatch up that prize."

"Neji Hyuuga fucks Gaara Sabaku on a daily basis," Itachi said coldly. He did not like them trying to 'cure him' of his life with Kisame. "And he enjoys it very much, so he tells me. Almost as much as I enjoy Kisame pushing me down and shoving his-"

"Enough!" Fugaku set his cup down on the table as he closed his eyes and took a deep steadying breath. To Itachi's surprise, he turned to Mikoto and shook his head.

"Dear, give up," he said bluntly. "Itachi is happy with this... man. Leave him be. You've pestered him for years. It is obvious your words have no effect. If you are that bored, please turn your attentions to Sasuke, or go shopping."

Fugaku rose, just as Kisame stepped back into the room. To Itachi's amusement and pleasure, Fugaku held a hand out to him. Kisame shook it cautiously.

"Good to see you again, boys," Fugaku grunted. "Mikoto, shall we?"

Mikoto seemed frozen to the couch, staring at the two men across from her. Itachi felt sorry for his dear mother, who didn't seem able to rise. He might as well help her out.

"Kisame and I had sex on that couch this morning."

In three seconds flat Mikoto was pressing a kiss to his cheek before vanishing out the door.


Kisame learnt early on in their relationship that Itachi and energy drinks did not mix well. After Itachi downed a single can of red bull, he let loose on their kitchen while Kisame was at work, reorganizing every food item, first by a bizarre category system only he knew, and then alphabetically within those categories. When Kisame arrived home, Itachi was still buzzing with excess energy. Being a genius, he tried to convert the extra energy into something useful, but only ended up rearranging their apartment until everything was squared.

And as soon as the buzz wore off, Itachi would fall asleep. No warning. No slow cooling down period. He was shoving the couch across the room one moment, slumped over the back out cold the next.

Still, it was a fun party trick. He would give Itachi a can of red bull, or V, and watch him freak people out – his hyped up genius not mixing well with his anti-social attitude.

Kisame realized early on that his boyfriend had little to no social skills. He was extremely smart, and extremely sexy. Most people managed to forget that the handsome man was a genius, and talked down to him like they would someone who was all beauty and no brain. Itachi usually managed to hold his tongue and deliver only a few scathing comments, but when he had any form of energy drink, the comments poured out. As did the tears from those on the receiving end.

So in hindsight, Kisame knew it had been a bad idea to give the sleepy Itachi a red bull before the family reunion. Itachi had only gotten four hours sleep, and was exhausted, so Kisame thought it would all balance out. And all he had left was Thai Red Bull, which was non-carbonated. Kisame thought the sweeter, smaller drink would have less effect on Itachi.

Big mistake.

Itachi had been a whirlwind, moving from Uchiha to Uchiha, introducing Kisame as his 'sugar daddy.' Before Kisame could protest or say anything, Itachi was moving on, past his Grandmother, past his Uncle and past a beyond traumatized cousin, who was privy to a lot more detail about their life than Kisame would have liked.

Eventually he managed to drag Itachi into a spare bedroom. He seated the man down on the bed and told him it was time to behave.

Itachi had gotten other ideas, fuelled by the bed, and had pulled Kisame down on top of him. He had proceeded to show Kisame exactly how he would like to use his excess energy in the form of a delicious serious of licks, sucks and dirty whispers. Kisame had just caved, and decided it was for the best if this went forward, when the inevitable happened.

Itachi fell asleep.

Sexually frustrated and slightly embarrassed, Kisame returned to the party, leaving Itachi upstairs to sleep off his exhaustion. When the man emerged hours later, he had blinked owlishly at everyone before crossing straight across the room to Kisame and kissing him thoroughly.

"Don't ever give me that shit again," Itachi mumbled into his neck. "I think my IQ dropped ten points just from remembering what I did."

Kisame sighed, wrapping his arms around Itachi and shielding him from view of the room. He knew that in a couple of week's time Itachi would think the incident had been exaggerated and ask for another. He would look up at Kisame with that demanding stare and the larger man would cave, handing one over.

And the whole fun adventure would begin again.